


Overloaded

by salesman



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Crack, Comedy, Complete, Crack, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Friendship, Gen, Happy Ending, Humor, Light Angst, Modern Girl in Thedas, Romance, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-08
Updated: 2015-07-06
Packaged: 2018-03-16 11:47:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 71
Words: 119,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3487133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/salesman/pseuds/salesman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Of all the people in this Inquisition, I was attached to an old, bald hobo-elf and hopelessly needed to know everything about him. The Dread Wolf was certainly not the easiest friend to have. My life in Skyhold was sure to be an adventure, but that was to be expected, since I lived in a friggin' video game.</p>
<p>My name is Anna, and I have been mysteriously plopped into Dragon Age: Inquisition. Good thing I'm a total fangirl.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Loading...

“I _do_ adore the heady blend of power, intrigue, danger, and _sex_ that permeates these events,” Solas said to my Lavellan Mage Inquisitor.

“Ew, Solas, gross,” I said to my TV. I pressed the pause button. The familiar green screen appeared, and the music of _Dragon Age: Inquisition_ was ringing dramatically in my ears. I glanced at the clock. _5:23am_. Shit. I had stayed up playing too late _again_.

I moaned, not wanting to move. _I’ll just close my eyes for a little bit..._  I thought foolishly.

The game music was weirdly getting louder, and as I opened my eyes it was not my living room, but Solas’ rotunda in Skyhold that came into view. It was pretty foggy looking, and I rubbed my eyes to get a clearer picture. Solas was on top of the scaffolding, painting the section of his mural with Halamshiral. _I never saw him actually paint in the game,_ I thought.

The whole world soon became clearer and the in-game music faded away. It all looked real, as if I was really there. I walked around the room and looked at Solas’ paintings a bit closer. I could actually see the texture of the plaster he used, slightly raised off the wall. “Huh,” I said aloud.

“Who are you?” Solas asked me suddenly. I turned around to see him looking at me from the raised platform.

“Uh,” I started. I didn’t know what to say. But it seemed like I had complete control over this crazy, video game-induced dream. “I’m Anna?” I made it sound like a question.

He eyed me curiously. “You do not belong here,” he concluded.

I smiled at him. “No, I don’t.” The human brain sure was amazing. My mind had conjured up Solas so realistically, I couldn’t believe it. I watched as he climbed down the ladder and closed the space between us.

“Please leave,” he asked gently. “My dream was not an open invitation.” It was kind of rude of him to say, although knowing Solas, he probably thought I was some unwanted spirit or something. But did that mean this was the Fade... and this was his dream... and he’s just... _painting_?? Maybe that’s why he was so good at it? He always practiced in the Fade?

Solas could tell I had stopped listening while I pondered this new discovery. He sighed and suddenly the whole world began to melt away.

I could tell the dream was slipping away—that I was waking up. “Wait!” I shouted at his disappearing image. “Are you bald due to age or shaving?!” I asked desperately. Hey, I needed to know.

The last remnants of his face looked thoroughly confused. Soon everything was black, and I opened my eyes. But I wasn’t on my couch. I was in the entry courtyard of Skyhold.

 _I guess this dream isn’t over,_ I thought. I propped myself on my elbows and slowly took in my surroundings. I was lying on the dirt floor, very near the entrance of the gate. The medical tents were spread around in a half circle nearby. Wounded soldiers were being tended by a surgeon. I watched with curiosity as she poured healing potions into their mouths.

My observations were soon cut short when a shadow fell over me. I looked up to see Blackwall staring down at me. He was _hairy_.

“You...” he started, seeming perplexed by me.

I realized that lying on the ground right in front of the gate was kind of weird, so I slowly got to my feet. I looked at Blackwall and, without thinking, asked, “Where’s Solas?” Although I figured he was in his usual spot.

He was taken aback. Suddenly soldiers appeared at my sides, holding my arms back like I was a prisoner. “Hey, what are you—?” I asked, confused. The force of their hands felt pretty real...

“We saw her fall out from the sky! What should we do with her, ser?” one of the soldiers asked Blackwall.

“Um,” Blackwall stuttered, “I think she may be a friend of Solas.” He was clearly in disbelief, but the soldiers released me immediately.

Blackwall considered me. I obviously didn’t look very threatening. “I’ll take you to him, miss,” he said.

I followed his burly mass as he led me up the stone stairs. The steps were very large, and as I heaved myself up them behind Blackwall, I wondered how my Lavellan Inquisitor was able to _run_ up them so easily. _Fantasy game physics,_ I thought.

As we entered the grand hall, I marveled at the cuisine set on the tables. _I never noticed how much food there is!_ And there were actually people eating it, funny enough. We passed by Varric, who was busily scribbling with a quill. I laughed to myself, causing Blackwell to shoot me a suspicious look.

When we finally reached Solas’ room, we found him painting in the exact spot I had seen earlier. Blackwall cleared his throat to get Solas’ attention. The elf peered down at us from above, but his eyes widened when he saw me.

“This young lady was looking for you...” Blackwall explained. “She seems to have appeared... from thin air.” I think the fake-Warden was still in shock.

“Thin air?” Solas inquired, confusion only vaguely masked in his voice.

“Yes... I thought she might be one of those... spirit friends of yours. Like Cole,” he gruffed.

I nodded my head to Blackwall’s inference. _Makes sense_ , I thought.

Solas, however, did not seem convinced. He quickly set down his paintbrush, climbed down the ladder, and walked out of the room, gesturing for Blackwall to follow him. He whispered some things to him until Blackwall nodded and eyed me cautiously. As Blackwall left, Solas turned back to me and slowly approached me.

“Hello,” he said slowly, brow furrowed.

“You never answered my question,” I continued. This had to be the same dream, right?

He cocked his head slightly to the side, his expression a mixture of alarm and curiosity. He opened his mouth to answer, but a mass of people rushed in, interrupting him.

“Who are you?” Cassandra asked in a demanding tone. She had pushed through the others and was in the front.

I didn’t answer, but instead looked at the new entrants of the rotunda. Cassandra, Blackwall, Varric, and... my eyes went upward. Iron Bull. He was _huge_.

Cassandra took a step forward and grabbed me roughly by the arm. “Ow!” I exclaimed, surprised by the contact.

“Who are you?!” she shouted again.

“I’m Anna,” I said, distracted by the pain in my arm. It felt _very_ real... Wasn’t this a dream...?

And for the first time in my life, I fainted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What would YOUR first question for Solas be if you were in Anna’s situation? I think asking about his baldness is reasonable enough…


	2. Curious Choice of Friends

It must have been a very brief blackout because the same group was standing over my body when I opened my eyes again. I was lying on the hard stone floor, blinking up at the candlelights above me. My eyes began to focus, and I could see Leliana’s ravens in their cages near the ceiling. I noticed several people were now peering down at us over the balconies.

“She’s awake,” Solas observed.

“ _Why_ did you guys rush me here?” Varric asked, skeptically. “She looks harmless.”

I closed my eyes again. This had to be a dream. But it felt so _real_. I decided I needed to play along. “I just came to help the Inquisition,” I said. My eyes flew open, looking at Solas. Somehow, I knew he would help me. He had seen me in the Fade, or whatever that was. He knew me, somewhat...

The group debated my declaration. “See? She only wants to help,” Varric said.

“And she definitely looks harmless,” Iron Bull smirked. _Oh, Freddie Prinze._

“I find it very suspicious that she appeared from nowhere,” Cassandra reasoned.

“Yes, that is what I thought as well. But didn’t Cole also appear that way?” Blackwall asked, looking towards Solas. “And she said she knew you.” The whole group looked at Solas then. My fate was in his hands.

He looked down at my still-on-the-floor-because-nobody-bothered-to-help-me-up body and studied my face, eyes narrowed. “Yes, I know her,” he finally said.

Blackwall sighed, annoyed. “Then why all the fuss? You told me you had no idea who she was! That she could be a danger!”

Solas seemed unphased. He cleared his throat and said simply, “I apologize. I did not recognize her at first.”

Cassandra rolled her eyes. Iron Bull and Varric were already halfway out the door. Blackwall finally offered his hand to me, helping me up. “You’ve got strange choice of friends, miss,” he said, eyeing Solas. The elf had turned away from everyone, as if considering something.

As the rest of the companions exited the room, I stayed behind and tugged Solas’ sleeve. He whipped around, apparently very alarmed by the gesture. _Whoops,_ I thought. Everyone was definitely on edge here. But I certainly couldn’t blame them. What with Corypheus and all.

“Um, Solas? Can I… talk to you?” I asked, taking a step back to give him more space. He nodded cautiously.

I put my hands behind my back, imitating his usual in-game pose. “So, you saw me in the Fade, right?”

He said nothing, but his eyes widened with surprise. _Seriously, Solas?_ I thought. _Are you really that shocked that I would ask this??_ I continued anyway. “So you must know I’m… different? I don’t really belong here.” I was trying to think of the words to say. I couldn’t tell him that I had played a game that he was in. That he was a _fictional_ character produced by Bioware.

Solas studied my face. “Yes...” he said slowly. “I had noticed there was something...  _different_ about you.”

“Yeah,” I said, awkwardly. It was a strange feeling, talking to him. I had played the game so much that I felt like I knew him. Hell, I _loved_ him. As a character, _cough_. But that didn’t mean that he would automatically like me. “I’m a dreamer as well,” I said to him, hoping this would make sense in the _Dragon Age_ world. “I came here through the Fade by accident, but I’m not sure how to get back.” It seemed like logical enough reasoning. Emphasis on the _enough_.

Solas narrowed his eyes on me. He had crossed his arms, but now one hand rested on his chin. He was thinking. I studied his face, taking in the details. I didn’t realize I was staring at his cleft until he asked, “Do you know where you came from? Perhaps I could...  _direct_ you there.”

Uh-oh. I had no idea how to answer that. No matter how creative Solas’ imagination might be in that (most likely) big ol’ brain of his, I doubt he could fathom the _real_ world. So I just shook my head. “I don’t... remember.” I lied, hoping he couldn’t tell. I sighed. “I guess I’ll just be stuck here for a while until I do.”

Solas seemed to lighten up slightly. Perhaps my feigned amnesia reminded him of his lovely Lavellan. “The Inquisition is not such a bad place to stay,” he said, a hint of pride in his voice. “And we could certainly use someone with your abilities. To be able to travel through the Fade… you must be a particularly powerful mage.”

 _Shit_. As much as I could make up stuff about me, I certainly couldn’t fake producing _magic_. I quickly declined his words, shaking my head and hands in unison. “No, no! No magic here! Just certain...  _Fade abilities_ , I guess?” _Shit_. That definitely was _not_ a thing.

Solas’ face seemed to scrunch up into extreme disbelief. I had to say something believable. I was losing cred, and fast.

“Okay, listen,” I explained. “I don’t have magic abilities. I don’t have _any_ abilities.” I paused, considering my words. “But I know the future.”

Solas laughed at me then. He clearly did not believe me. “You are curious, Anna.”

I blinked at him saying my name. I had never heard it in his sweet Welsh accent. But this was no time for swooning. “...and I know everything!” I said suddenly and rather loudly, causing him to jump slightly.

“You know everything?” He raised an eyebrow, unsure of what I was getting at.

I exhaled slowly. “I know who you are,” I whispered, so none of the people above could hear. His eyes widened in confusion, and I could tell he was not really understanding my meaning. “I’ve seen things in the Fade,” I continued with my made-up reasoning. “I know all about Corypheus, all about the Inquisition, all about the Herald... and all about _you_.”

Solas certainly looked alarmed and concerned now. His eyes were darting all over my face and body, trying to find answers where there were none. I took another breath and, highly aware of the many people above us, walked over slowly to a section of his mural on the wall. The part with the giant wolves howling. I pointed to one of them, and then pointed suggestively at him, hoping he understood my meaning.

And he most certainly did.


	3. Meet my Gurlll

He inhaled sharply as he looked at me. Solas had fear in his eyes. Suddenly I felt bad, making poor Solas worry so much. Even though he kind of deserved it.

“Don’t worry,” I soothed, “I want to help you.” I really did. Because if anything, I did not want him to break my—I mean, the _Inquisitor’s_ heart again.

“You wish to help me?” he asked slowly. “Help me with what…?” He still wasn’t aware of the extent of my knowledge.

Before I could answer, someone burst through the wooden door from the main hall. I wheeled around to see my female Lavellan Inquisitor trudging in. Yes, she did _trudge_.

I looked at her, my RPG character, in the flesh. She was as every bit as beautiful standing before me as my screen had shown me at home. I looked her up and down; her pointy ears, white hair, unnaturally teal eyes, and Mythal _vallaslin_ brushing her forehead. And then I looked at her lips. Man, they were shiny. _Why didn’t I turn the lip shine to 0??_ I thought. It was too late now though. She was a living thing, it seemed.

And suddenly I felt oddly motherly, almost like I was her god. Since, in a way, I was. Her creator. “Huh,” I said aloud unintentionally.

She looked at me, obviously intrigued, and asked, “and who are you?”

“I’m Anna,” I said, again. _How many times would I say that today?_

“You’ve made quite the stir,” she smiled at me. _Aww, she’s so nice!_ I gushed. She looked at Solas. “Is everything okay? I heard she just suddenly appeared… and knows you?”

Solas nodded. “Everything is… fine.” He eyed me beside him before giving her a small smile. “Do not worry about me. I know you have important matters to attend to.”

Lavellan smiled at him. She then nodded at me and headed back out the door. _I wonder what she’s doing_ , I thought. I was, after all, _not_ controlling her.

I turned to Solas. “She’s somethin’, eh?”

Solas raised an eyebrow at me. “She has built this Inquisition into a formidable power in Thedas. Hundreds now follow her leadership.”

“Yes, yes,” I said, waving him off, “I know you love Lavellan.”

His eyes widened slightly before narrowing and raising an eyebrow at me. “You are speaking of Gurlll?” he asked me.

“Girl? Um, yes? That Inquisitor girl?” I said, confused.

Solas shook his head. “I mean her name. She is Inquisitor Gurlll of Clan Lavellan.” He dragged out the _urlll_ of the name.

And I couldn’t help it. I burst out laughing so hard. “No…” I said, between gasps. “She’s not actually named…. I mean, that was a joke…” It was true that I could name her anything, so just to humor myself, I had named her Gurlll. And yes, that is her name.

Solas sighed exasperatedly. “Yes, it is a strange naming. I told her, her clan must be very peculiar… to name her such a thing. The Dalish never cease to shock me with their outlandish behavior.”

_Damn, Solas_. I thought. _Straight to the hatin’_. I stopped laughing to listen to him.

He eyed me suspiciously. “I even suggested she choose a new name for herself,” he continued.

“Oh, like you did?” I asked innocently, but then suddenly remembered it was a secret. He shot me a panicked, angry look. _Sorry,_ I mouthed. But I smiled, despite myself. “What’s the, um… Elvish word for, uh, Gurlll…?” I burst out laughing again. “I’m sure it sounds less silly than that.” I wiped some laugh-tears from my eyes.

Solas rolled his eyes at me. “ _Asha_.”

I held my breath to stop laughing. “See? Better!” He cursed something in Elvish at me. I just smiled at him. “But I would just call her _vhenan_ if I were you.”

Solas sighed again at me. “How do you know I call her that?” He walked over to the area of the mural I had pointed out earlier, stopping in front of that weird cube thing that’s always balanced on its point. He was staring at the painted wolves.

I followed him to the wall. “I _told_ you, Solas. I know things.” He looked at me, and I smiled at him. “Things that were… things that are…” I spoke in an eerie voice, walking a small half-circle around him. “...and some things… that have not yet come to pass.” I did my best Galadriel impression. Hey, wrong fandom, but he didn’t know that.

Solas did not react to my elf-queen impersonation. He put his hands behind his back, contemplating. He remained silent as his brow creased with fresh worry.

I felt guilty as I observed his current state. He must be freaking out.

I had to get him to trust me. And to do that, I needed my approval ranking with him raised higher. Unlike my Lavellan who had reached the absolute max in Solas approval, I was at 0, possibly even in the negative, judging from the number of annoyed looks.

I wished I could see the _Solas Approves_ text that would pop on my screen whenever my Lavellan asked him a question. But, alas, I was living it now, and life didn’t give subtitles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Inquisitor’s name is inspired by the maaaany RPGs I’ve played that allowed me to name my character whatever I wanted. I rarely choose a serious one, since I know it doesn’t actually affect the gameplay. You should have _seen_ the names of my Final Fantasy 7 characters… ahh, the days without voice acting.
> 
> [This is the quote](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G4Z-cmNoBX8&t=0m25s) from Galadriel I’m referring to from _Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring_. I’m such a dweeb.


	4. Scary Wolf

It was safe to say that I had fully piqued Solas’ interest. After contemplating a little more, he gestured me to follow him, leading me to an empty, secluded room where we could freely talk without being heard.

Closing the door behind me, he asked, “what _exactly_ do you know?” He crossed his arms in front of his chest.

I considered him a moment. Here he was, Solas, the reason for my heartbreak. Yes, he _had_ broken my heart when he broke my character’s. He stood there in his simple clothing that I never saw too closely before. It _did_ look hobo-ish. I stared at the wolfbone pendant. It was pretty big to be hanging on his neck. _Doesn’t it just get in the way of everything?_ I wondered.

Solas cleared his throat, annoyed that I hadn’t responded yet. I matched his gaze then, smiling at his blue-grey eyes. “I know you’re Fen’Harel,” I said plainly.

He was slightly taken aback by the statement, but ultimately had been suspecting it from my previous painting-pointing-gestures.

“And I know you gave your orb to Corypheus. I know you feel bad, and are trying to help... and you need to get your orb back,” I added.

He looked very worried. Panicked, even. A scared Solas, what a sight! But I didn’t revel long. “I also know the future. I know what’s going to happen.” I recalled how he had been painting the Empress Celene on the rotunda wall. “You guys just got back from Halamshiral, I presume?”

Solas swallowed and nodded. He was _nervous_. “Seriously, Solas,” I put my hands up defensively, trying to calm him. “I mean you no harm. I want to help you get back your orb. I am your ally.”

He exhaled and put his hands on his temples, closing his eyes. “I see you in the Fade, and then you suddenly appear here and know my deepest secrets. And you want to be my _ally_. ” He emphasized the last word slowly.

“Yeah, pretty much.” I shrugged, not sure what else to say. “But I seriously don’t have _any_ abilities or powers. I only know the future.”

Solas opened his eyes and looked me up and down. He sighed. His voice lowered considerably. “You give me little choice in this matter. How can I trust that you would not tell anyone?”

He got a little scary then.

His features all seemed to darken, his gaze on me looking deadly. For the first time, it occurred to me that Solas might actually try to _kill_ me to keep his secrets. It made sense, he _was_ the Dread Wolf and all. My mind raced for a way to convince him otherwise.

Solas loved independent thought. He could roll in that shit all day. If I could show him that I had logically thought this through, he might trust me. I threw some questions at him while I thought. “How do you think I know all this? Do you even know what I am? What are your reasons _not_ to trust me?” I asked him.

He remained silent, still only giving me that scary I-am-a-god-that-can-easily-kill-you-right-now look.

“I am an outsider,” I continued, choosing my words carefully for once. “I saw all that you did in the Fade. I saw you give your orb to Corypheus, and the chaos that happened afterwards: the Breach, the anchor, the Divine dying...”

One of Solas’ hands began to twitch. I saw little purple sparks begin to float around it. Was he calling lightning? I had to act fast.

“You’re the only one that can fix this!” I blurted out desperately. _So_ not true. My Inquisitor had that in the bag.

The purple sparks faded away. Solas’ features softened into curiosity, the spark of intrigue in his eye.

I continued on. “And only you can prevent...” _forest fires_ , I thought to myself on the inside, cackling. Dumb joke. “...this from happening again. So I want to help you.”

Solas hummed in consideration. He studied my face. “Well, of course this will never happen again. At least not with _my_ focus.” I secretly thought to myself, _actually, the Breach could happen as many times as I feel like playing it, my dear little Solas_.

“Let us hope not,” I told him. “But please know this: I believe what you are doing is right. I will help you no matter what.” I sounded pretty dramatic.

Solas sighed. “I suppose I have no alternative but to trust you, although I am not certain about your lack of _abilities_.” He eyed me carefully. “A person cannot travel the Fade without the particular command of magic.”

I crossed my arms. “Oh yeah? Says the person who just recently walked around physically in the Fade with half of the Inquisition?” I sneered at him. “ _Including_ Blackwall.” He was as non-magic as it got.

He was slightly taken aback by this new knowledge I revealed to him. He quickly recovered though and said, “That was a special circumstance. The anchor—”

I cut him off. “Well, have you considered that there are others with such a power? Just because I don’t have a mark on my hand, doesn’t mean there aren’t other ways.”

Solas looked at me sternly. “Then what _way_ did you take?”

I thought back carefully. “I’m not sure...” I trailed off, thinking of how I had just woken up here. “All of it just sort of _happened_. I fell asleep one day, and when I woke up, all these events were happening in front of me. I closed my eyes again, and woke up in a point of time in the middle, even though I had seen far ahead of it.” The explanation sounded convincing enough. To me, at least.

Solas was still skeptical. “I have never heard of such a thing,” he told me.

“Me neither,” I conceded. “But it must have happened for a reason.” I looked at him, deliberating my next words. “Someone put me here to help you.”

“And who would do that?” he asked, still doubtful.

“I don’t know that either.” He rolled his eyes at me. “But I think I know why.” I looked at him, one eyebrow raised. “Because your orb _breaks_.”

His eyes widened. “Is this the future you claim to know? My focus is broken, requiring me to seek other...?” He stopped. “I cannot know that you are telling the truth.”

I wondered what would happen if his orb was not destroyed. Would he just run away with it? Would he have to fight the Inquisitor? What _was_ the best future? To destroy or not to destroy the orb? That was the question, indeed.

“No, you have no way of knowing,” I said. “You just have to trust me. And know that, I _choose_ to help you. It is of my own free will.” I threw the last bit in for extra measure.

Solas looked thoroughly worried, but I could tell he wasn’t fully conceiving the whole “my orb is gonna break” thing. He seemed to still doubt me. Had he never considered the possibility of it breaking? I thought it rather unlikely. Solas thought _everything_ over, I was sure.

“Whatever the future _does_ bring,” he said to me. “...just _please_ do not tell anyone, especially the Inquisitor.”

“Solas, who do you think I am?” I looked at him, incredulous. “I know I’m _shem_ —” He raised an eyebrow at the word. “—but I am your _lethallan_ , _hahren_.”

He rolled his eyes before narrowing them on me again. “You know an unusual amount of Elven language for a human,” he noted.

I nodded. “Thank you, Solas. It’s something I take _solas_ in.” I laughed at my own joke.

Solas sighed, shaking his head. But he smiled. Ever so slightly. The tiniest of smiles.

Even though he was wary, he was starting to warm up to me. And I was _liking_ it. I had a million questions for him, and since I really seemed to be in Skyhold, really seemed to be living in a video game, I thought I might as well use this chance to find out the truth. “So...” I began, changing the subject. “...my question about your baldness before...?”

Solas sighed. “It is a spell,” he explained. “It hinders my hair growth.”

“Hmm,” I considered. “And you do this intentionally because...?”

He looked very annoyed. “I am trying to disguise my appearance, _obviously_.” _Saucy Solas,_ I thought. I hummed and nodded in understanding.

“I must be going,” Solas said suddenly. “Please do remember your promise.” And then he whipped outta there faster than I could say _dareth shiral_. Typical. Always running away.

I wanted to ask him so much, but I supposed it had to wait for now. Where was he going, anyway? Was he going to research the possibility of seeing the future? I knew he was aware of Alexius’ time travel magic that Lavellan would have described to him at Redcliffe. In our recent conversation, he never mentioned the connection, but maybe my talk of the Fade convinced him otherwise. I had no idea.

I quickly left the room after him, determined to full-on stalk him. As I entered the walkway, I saw the tail of his tunic fluttering around a corner. I raced after him. As I turned the same corner, it opened to a long, empty passageway. Solas was nowhere to be seen. Where was he?

 _Shit_ , I thought. _Did that elf just Fade Step?_ Solas, you are the worst.

Annoyed that I had lost him, I made my way down the walk at a slower pace. This was a long dream indeed. A thought then occurred to me: if I entered here through sleep, did that mean I could leave by sleeping too?

It seemed like a sensible answer. But, as this could be my last lucid dream ever in my favorite video game, the least I could do was spend the day in Skyhold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The “forest fires” thing was a [Smokey the Bear](http://www.fs.usda.gov/Internet/FSE_MEDIA/fsm9_005403.jpg) reference... dumb...
> 
> Elvish translations:
> 
>  _shem_ from _shemlen_ = quickling
> 
>  _lethallan_ = cousin, clansman, someone who is familiar (female version)
> 
>  _hahren_ = elder


	5. Food, please.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Varric, getting the scoop.

Walking along the battlements of the fortress, I realized I was _pretty_ hungry. I thought to head back to the grand hall, where I had seen tons of food earlier.

I took my time walking over, fully taking in my surroundings. What if I was really here to stay? I thought back to my life before I had landed here. I was a college student in my final year of school. It was winter break, and I had taken the opportunity to _finally_ play Dragon Age to my heart’s content, finding myself more and more obsessed with it.

 _This has to be a dream_ , I thought. I must be still lying on my couch, passed out in the embarrassing way I was known to do from time to time. I looked down at my body. I was wearing what I had fallen asleep in: jeans, a simple t-shirt, and a thick wooly cardigan. I wondered what the characters thought of my ensemble.

Although this was a dream, it seemed like I would not be waking up for a long time. _Like uthenera,_ I joked to myself.

I knew how this game ended, I knew the stinger after the credits. I could easily fall into a life in Thedas, into the Inquisition story. I paused to take a breath and glance around. The local Skyhold inhabitants all eyed me suspiciously.

I smiled. _Get ready, bitches._ I thought to myself. _I am gonna rock your world_. I laughed maniacally aloud. Some of the onlookers began to fiercely whisper to one another. Whatever, no one cared about _these_ NPCs anyway.

As I hoisted myself up those large stairs yet _again_ , I took a deep breath of the Frostback Mountains’ air. Man, it was _fresh_. Completely non-polluted.

Finally getting to the spot my Inquisitor always spawned at when fast-traveling to Skyhold, I took my time walking up the last set of stairs. Getting to the top, I waltzed into the hallway. Orlesians and Fereldan alike were standing and chatting, as they usually did. Some sat at the tables, nibbling at the many courses.

 _I guess this is buffet style?_ I asked myself. I settled down at a table that no one else was sitting at. There was a selection of random fruits and some roasted vegetables... and _tons_ of meat. Like a billion types of poultry and game and all that. ‘Tis medieval times after all.

“Word of advice,” a raspy voice said from behind me. “Don’t eat the shepard’s pie.” I turned around to see Varric behind me. “I’m _pretty_ sure it’s been there a few days.”

I smiled. “Thanks,” I told the dwarf. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

To my surprise, he sat down in a chair beside me. “Varric Tethras,” he said. “Rogue, storyteller, and occasionally unwelcome tagalong.” He winked at me.

I laughed. _Really, Varric?_ I thought. _The_ same _exact speech as the one to the Inquisitor, huh?_ (or the author of this fanfic is just really lazy...  _cough_ )

“Nice to meet you,” I said, staring at his exposed chest. Why _was_ it buttoned so low? Was his chest just physically too large for the shirt to close over? Why didn’t he wear a larger shirt? Did he really just want to show off that chesthair? I had so many questions boiling inside me.

As I tried to figure out a natural way to introduce his shirt into the conversation, Varric asked, “So how do you know Solas?”

I laughed. How _didn’t_ I know him, _huhuhu_. “The Fade,” I said simply. I grabbed an apple and bit into it.

He watched me, slightly apprehensive. “So are you a spirit...?” he inquired.

I swallowed. I would have to get my story straight to the Inquisition companions. “No,” I told him. “I’m flesh and bone, just a normal human.”

He still didn’t look convinced.

“I know I appeared out of thin air…” I continued, choosing my words wisely. “But I honestly don’t know how this happened. One night, I was dreaming in the Fade... the next, falling from the sky.” I took another bite. “Solas says that one _can_ travel through the Fade to physically change location. But he’s never seen _this_ happen before,” I added, thinking some hobo apostate cred was needed to my spiel.

“Did Solas already forget about what happened at Adamant?” Varric laughed, although skeptically.

“Yes, but that was with the anchor... I literally just woke up and was here. I’m not even a mage.” Might as well lay it all out.

Varric blinked at me. “Not even a mage, huh?” He looked me up and down, sizing me up. “Then why stay at all? Why not go home?”

I shrugged. “Because I want to help.” I didn’t tell him that I actually didn’t know _how_ to get home. I tried to give him a winning smile then, hoping that it would convince him to trust me. Hey, it couldn’t hurt!

Varric laughed at me. “You’re crazy, girl.”

Looking around this somehow _real_ room from a video game, I thought to myself, _you have no idea._


	6. Questions, Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsk, tsk—what will people say?

Varric soon left me after deciding I was crazy, but who could really blame him. I finished off some chicken and various veggies, which were surprisingly hot, even though they seemed to have been sitting out for a few hours. Were there fire runes used to keep the food warm? _Hmm._ What a thought.

Now that I was well fed, I continued my mission to ask that hobo elf some questions. Walking past Varric, who had continued his scribbling at the table nearest the rotunda, I gave him a slight nod and pushed the wooden door open. Just like in the obnoxiously loud way my Inquisitor always did.

Entering Solas’ study, I stopped to see two elves in front of me, apparently in _intimate_ conversation. Solas and Lavellan stood there awkwardly, obviously interrupted by my sudden appearance. The Dread Wolf had been holding her hand, but he dropped it quickly and cleared his throat. “Um, yes?” he asked me.

Well, I _certainly_ didn’t want to cock-block the Inquisitor, so I quickly rushed past the two towards the staircase that led upstairs. “Don’t mind me!” I shouted as I skipped along.

Not looking back, I bounded up the stairs as quickly as I could. Not _that_ quickly, mind you, as I was _wayyyy_ out of shape.

Huffing at the top, I looked at the library around me. _Why are all the steps in this game so damn tall??_ I thought to myself.

A few of the library dwellers looked at me oddly, but ultimately turned back to their work. I tiptoed over to the balcony railing, eager to listen in on the couple’s conversation.

Peering over, I stared down at the two elves below me. I could barely hear them; they spoke in such soft voices.

" _Vhenan_ , the new power you wield... the magic of the Knight-Enchanter..." Solas began, his voice laced with disapproval.

She nodded at him, tilting her head ever so slightly to the side, seemingly unphased by his tone.

"And _what_ do we have here?" A voice behind me caused me to jump. I looked around to find Dorian smiling at me with an eyebrow in the air.

"Nothing! Just observing," I explained.

"Ah, yes, observing! An activity also known as _spying_ ," Dorian smirked.

I snorted. "Yeah, pretty much," I agreed. I looked back down at the two. I had missed some of the conversation.

Solas was holding her hand again. "I wonder what they would think to see their magic in defense of the Chantry," the elf-god commented, a perfect replica of his in-game speech.

The Inquisitor considered for a moment before responding. "They would be proud," she concluded. Solas beamed. My character knew _all_ the right dialogue options. I pondered at the fact that she did this on her own, without me. Was she somehow programmed to answer in the ways Solas found most appealing? Maybe she really _was_ his soulmate, or whatever.

Dorian leaned against the railing alongside me, watching the couple below. "Oh, these two!" He _tsk-tsked_. "The longful side-glances."

"Mmm," I conceded. "Indomitable angst." _I have yet to see it dominated..._

It was Dorian's turn to snort. "Whatever do you mean by _that_?"

“Oh, you know…” I put my hand, palm up, to my forehead dramatically. “ _Oh, how can we ever be happy?! These forces are trying to keep us apart…_ ” I sighed theatrically.

Dorian laughed. “Such a _curious_ thing to say in these trying times... _Who are you?_ ”

“My name is Anna,” I told him. “I’ve come to help with the Inquisition.” I hoped that Dorian hadn’t heard of my sudden falling from the sky. I was sick of making up explanations.

“How noble of you.” Dorian gave me a once-over. “And where are you from?” he asked apprehensively, looking at my outfit. Of course _Dorian_ would be the first one to notice I was dressed strangely.

 _Great,_ I thought. _More lies I have to make up._ “I’m from somewhere very small, and obscure,” I began, thinking of what Solas had told them when he joined. But I knew I couldn’t lie forever. My Thedas geography was _not_ up to Dragon Age par. “I’d like to know something, though,” I said suddenly. “You’re from Tevinter, right?”

The sudden change of subject startled him. “Yes...” Dorian said warily.

I nodded enthusiastically. “Yes, I could tell by your clothing! I’ve _always_ wanted to try the fashion from Minrathous, but alas, I’ve never been able to afford it...” I tried to sound pathetic.

Dorian’s featured softened instantly. He had a poor-little-peasant-girl look on his face. “Oh, I _know_ ,” he said. “Tevinter silks just _rob_ you.” He smiled at me. “I am Dorias of House Pavus, by the way,” he said, bowing his head slightly.

Thank goodness Dorian was so easily distracted by fashion. Which reminded me of a question I always had while playing…

I smiled at him. “I saw a very pretty Orlesian woman around here—”

“Was she wearing a mint-colored mask?” Dorian interrupted. “Did she mock your hair as well? I told her that if it wasn’t for her mask, everyone would see her _atrocious_ Antivan hairdo.” Dorian was probably better at The Game than whoever _that_ was.

“Uh, no,” I laughed. “I believe her name was... Vivienne?”

“Ah,” said Dorian in recognition. “Our dear Orlesian peacock. What of her?”

“Well, I thought her outfit was quite... _revealing_ ,” I said with a smile. “I admit, I’ve never had a taste for the fashion of Val Royeaux. What do you think of it?”

Dorian rolled his eyes. “Do not get me _started_ on Orlesian trends. A Tevinter woman would _never_ expose herself in the way our lovely Vivienne would. In Minrathous, it’s all high collars and modesty for the ladies.”

“Yes!” I agreed, nodding my head. “Much more tasteful.”

Dorian looked at me, delighted by our united bitch-talking. “I _like_ you,” he said. He looked down at my clothing again. “But... _this_ —” he gestured to my body “—will have to go.”

I clapped my hands together as if for a prayer. “ _Please_ help me!” I said in excitement.

He smiled. “Come this way.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How could a strange girl instantly get Dorian on her side? Why, just make fun of Vivienne, of course!
> 
> My insight into female Tevinter fashion is purely based on [this image](http://img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130615023500/dragonage/images/0/03/Tevinter_garments.jpg). I’m just gonna pretend that Orlesians show a bit more boob, since Vivienne always does and at the ball there were a lot of low-cut dresses.


	7. No, that OUTFIT is sorry.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wouldn’t everyone want to go shopping with our favorite Tevinter mage?

Dorian was headed to the market area of Skyhold. We had to walk through the bottom of the rotunda to get there, and I noticed that Solas and the Inquisitor had disappeared. “Where’d they go?” I asked absently.

“Probably to do what any normal couple does,” Dorian answered.

“Wait,” I stopped in the doorway he had just stepped through. “You mean, like to _do_ it?”

Dorian looked back at me, rolling his eyes. “ _Is_ that so surprising?” He contemplated a moment. “Well, I suppose considering that it’s _Solas_ , who _would_ want to be intimate with him?” He frowned, shuddering. “I rather not picture it.”

He continued on, and I followed. _So they actually do it???_ I thought excitedly to myself. _My Inquisitor_ definitely _gets it on, Patrick Weekes._

When Dorian and I arrived at the market, we went straight to a man selling armor, although on closer inspection he had lots of normal clothing too. All sorts of colorful garments hung from his booth, and Dorian had a keen eye for what would suit me.

The merchant let us browse freely through the clothing, and Dorian soon gasped when he found the perfect outfit. “This… this is it,” he said excitedly.

He held up a deep red-colored fitted top, that also came with coordinating pants (as every outfit in the game seemed to do...). It had a high neck, but the arms were exposed, almost like Sera’s usual outfit, but without sleeves. _I might need a jacket, too, if I were to wear this..._

“Oh,” I said in interest. I examined the garment closer. Its cloth was embroidered with beautiful swirls of a darker wine color, almost resembling intricate flower petals.

“It’s Tevinter, straight from Minrathous!” Dorian exclaimed. “Try it _on_!” _Someone_ was excited.

I laughed, but wasn’t quite sure where I would change. The merchant gestured to an area behind a curtain in his booth, but I hesitated. It was friggin’ _cold_ out!

“Oh, don’t be shy!” Dorian pushed me into the changing area, closing the curtain behind me. “I won’t move until you’re wearing it!” he called.

Well, I shouldn’t stay in my real-world clothes, anyway. I changed as fast I could into the new ensemble, finding the amount of buttons and ties annoying. _No zippers, huh?_

When I emerged, Dorian clapped his hands in approval. “Oh, thank the _Maker_. I was just about to set you on fire for your previous atrocity.”

I smiled and did a little spin for him. He beamed, nodding. The merchant also seemed to approve, nodding fervently in anticipation of a sale.

I was happy at the encouragement, until it dawned on me that I didn’t have any money. _Shit_.

But Dorian, ever the dashing hero, whipped out his coin purse and paid for the garment. He gave the merchant a wink, as if they had some secret bargain.

“Wow, thank you, Dorian! I—” I started.

He cut me off. “You can pay me back when you’re as charming as I am… which will probably be never.” He grinned at me. Dorian’s the best.

I smiled back. It’s nice to have rich friends.

We walked back side-by-side to the main hall, as Dorian was no longer ashamed to be seen promenading with me. We strolled into the rotunda, which Solas had now returned to. He was sitting at his desk, studying a book or something.

He looked up when he heard us come in, and stood up suddenly when he saw me. His eyes instantly took in the outfit change, and Dorian beside me. He did the math.

I gave Solas a curtsy. “Pretty nice, huh?” I asked him.

“First you were a spirit, and now a Tevinter blood mage,” he commented, crossing his arms.

“Oh, _please_ ,” Dorian interjected. “Not _everyone_ from the Imperium is a blood mage. And she looks a _lot_ better than your Dalish woodsman getup, or whatever that is.” He wiggled his finger at Solas’ tunic.

“Please speak up!” Solas put a hand to his pointy ear. “I cannot hear you over your outfit!”

“Ugh!” Dorian headed up the stairwell. He turned back when I didn’t follow. “Are you coming, Anna?”

I shook my head, smiling. Remembering the Dorian-Solas-Vivienne game banter, I told him, “I have to have a word with the unwashed hobo.”

He nodded and continued up the stairs. “Not everyone can be saved!” he called out.

I snickered and turned my gaze on Solas. “Have fun with Lavellan?” I asked, moving my eyebrows suggestively.

Solas rolled his eyes and walked past me, climbing up the scaffolding beside me. He gestured to the veilfire on the platform. It blazed up in response. He continued to paint Halamshiral, as if I wasn’t there. _Rude, much?_

I sat on the nearby couch and watched him paint Empress Celene. He was nearly finished now and merely doing some final touches. He stood back from the mural, observing it as a whole before adding a highlight here, blending a gradient there... I noticed as he did this that several paint blotches marked his hobo getup, making his clothing even worse to look at.

Staring at his apostate disguise, it was hard to imagine he ever looked noble or godly. I pictured a gold crown on his bald head, pointy ears sticking out from under it.

I didn't know what a royal elvhen in Arlathan would actually look like, but my mind instantly thought of Dalish Keeper robes. But I knew for a _fact_ that Solas thought such armor to be a gross misconception of any semblance to clothing ever worn by the pantheon. He just loved the Dalish hater-ade. I snickered at the thought of how I had always equipped him in it. The _horror_ he must think.

Solas turned around at my laugh, crossing his arms and getting even more plaster on himself. "I am glad my painting can be of such amusement to you, dear Anna."

I ignored his quip and asked him, "What were you even _like_ at all those balls and parties you seem to enjoy so much?"

Solas' eyes widened in horror at the mention of his former life, his eyes gesturing upwards towards the people above. I got up from the couch and walked closer to him, placing my hand on one of the beams supporting his platform.

"They aren't paying attention," I whispered, looking up at him.

Solas narrowed his eyes down at me. "Even if they that were true, I would not risk telling you the answer here."

I huffed in annoyance. " _So_ paranoid."

I went to sit back on the couch, lying myself down this time. Solas turned back to his mural, and I stared at the birds above. _What if they poop on me?_ I thought, suddenly terrified.

“Solas,” I called, still lying down from laziness.

“Yes?” he asked, not turning around.

“Do you ever find… raven droppings down here?”

He huffed, but still didn’t turn around. “No,” he answered. “I have placed a ward.”

I laughed. Solas always thought of everything. I looked up at the birds again. “I don’t see the glyph, though,” I observed.

He turned around this time. “Is it not clear that I have very singular magic abilities?” He had a smug expression on his face. _Psh, whatever, elvhen_ , I thought.

He continued his painting, and I closed my eyes, listening to the (surprisingly clear) sound of the _swish-swish_ of his brush and the faint _caw-caw_ of the birds above. It was strangely meditative, in a way.

Without realizing, I started to drift to sleep... I guess my time in Skyhold would be shorter than I thought.


	8. Livin’ the Dream

I opened my eyes and blinked away the fogginess. As the world got clearer, it was obvious that I was _not_ back at home. The place I looked at was beautifully bright, and huge.

I was in a palace, but it wasn’t the Winter Palace. For one thing, it was filled with elves.

There seemed to be a party going on. People were standing everywhere in lavish gowns and suits. I looked around to see I was standing in a large foyer with lots of ornate dressings covering the many columns, domes, painted ceilings, etc... _Pretty swanky_ , I thought.

I walked among the fancy elves, each of them chatting and laughing in dainty voices to each other. None of them seemed to notice I was there.

A light floral scent filled the air that was pleasant and unobtrusive. There were lights floating in the raised ceiling, balls of veilfire glowing different colors. They seemed to coordinate slowly with each other... flashing themselves from blue hues to gold ones. _Strange._

The surrounding columns had crystals intertwined within them, little magicks seemed to glitter inside...

In other words, this place was dazzling and magical. You get the gist.

I walked up some stairs, heading to the place that everyone seemed to be drifting towards. The carpet was soft beneath my feet. I looked down and noticed I wasn’t wearing shoes. _Okay..._

When I reached the top, I saw Solas standing there, dressed in an elegant high-necked suit and giving me a knowing smile. It was like a scene straight outta _Titanic_.

Man, he cleaned up _good_. He wasn’t bald either, with dark auburn hair flowing down to his shoulders. Honestly, I was surprised I even recognized him, but he _was_ the only person here who seemed to notice my existence.

“Fen’Harel,” I said, giving a little bow. I pointed a finger at him, and said in mock-accusation, “ _Did you just bring me to the Fade?_ ”

Solas smiled. “You asked what I was like at all those balls, so I am showing you.” He gestured for me to take his arm. I was liking this Solas better already.

I laced my arm around his, and he escorted me into main ballroom, explaining along the way that only he could see me here. “This is a memory of mine from long ago,” he said.

“So you’re saying it’s gonna be biased?” I teased.

He chuckled lightly. “Most certainly.”

Once inside, he released my arm and gave me a little nod. He then proceeded to mingle with the guests, laughing and conversing as they all were. I watched as all the elves glowed at his arrival, lightly touching his arm or giggling at whatever he said. They were lapping him up.

I noticed his suit had some thin fur trimmings, probably wolf. One woman seemed very interested in it, leaning in close and rubbing the material between her thumb and forefinger. Solas smiled at her alluringly, and soon the pair hit the dance floor.

They weaved in and out of the other couples; everyone all knew the routine by heart. Solas was very graceful, and it almost seemed like he was the star of the show. His awesomeness stood out _that_ much.

It was kind of a long dance, though, and I got a little bored watching. I turned my attention elsewhere and wandered the room a little more.

There were tables lined with copious amounts of delicacies. Frilly cakes and... _no way_. Scotch bonnet candies!

I laughed in fangirl delight until I noticed someone standing nearby. It was an elf, like everyone else, except this one was standing at attention and was much more modestly dressed. A servant.

My eyes flashed to his forehead. It was branded with the tree of Mythal. _Vallaslin_ , just like my Inquisitor’s. Was this Mythal’s palace? Were Elgar'nan and Mythal the party hosts?

“Enjoying yourself?” I turned around to see Solas standing before me.

“Not like you are,” I said. “Dancing with random hottie elvhen. Must be fun, huh?”

He smiled wistfully. “Yes. It was.”

“Is this Mythal’s palace?” I asked, changing the subject.

“You have a keen eye,” he said, looking at me. “Elgar’nan held this affair after Falon’Din had a particularly impressive ball.” His eyes flitted to one of the servants bitterly.

He turned his gaze back on me. “How do you know so much?” he asked me, suddenly.

I sighed, shrugging. “I honestly don’t know how else to explain it to you. It was all shown to me in the Fade, that’s all.”

“It is _surprising_ how instantly aware of the Fade you were when I brought you here.” He narrowed his eyes on me. “An _unheard_ of capability for one with no magical attributes.”

I shrugged again. “Maybe I do have magic then, I dunno.” _Would he let it rest already?_

“Can you show me some of what you have seen? Like I have shown you?” He gestured to the party around him.

I thought for a moment. The Fade _was_ supposed to display imagination. _Would_ I be able to manipulate it? I tried to think of an appropriate thing to show him. Something that only he would know.

I thought of the kiss with the Inquisitor in the Fade. It seemed to be one of their more, uh, _private_ moments that he would keep secret. I tried thinking of the cutscene I had embarrassingly replayed a thousand times, remembering every detail as best I could.

Solas watched me as I attempted this, arms characteristically behind his back. He stared down at me curiously.

Nothing was happening. “How am I supposed to do this?” I asked him.

“Try projecting your thoughts to your surroundings,” he explained. “Imagine the setting you want to see. Feel the ground, the breath in your lungs, fabric rustling against your skin...”

I closed my eyes, trying to think of the game cinematic. It wasn’t easy to imagine the things Solas suggested, since I had never actually _been_ there. I tried to envision what it _would_ be like though. The chilly air of the Frostback Mountains, snow falling lightly everywhere....  _ummm, what else was there?_

“Anna,” Solas said. My eyes flew open at the sound.

I looked around, my surroundings having changed. Haven.

Oh, _shit_. I just changed the Fade, bitches!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If it wasn’t obvious, Solas removed Anna’s shoes in the palace.
> 
>  _Titanic_ reference: when Leo DiCaprio is waiting at the top of the stairs by the clock, obvs.
> 
> On the party: I like to think that since Elgar’nan was the god of vengeance, he would throw an even bigger, more extravagant party just to show up the other gods. And also that it would be Falon’Din’s party he was showing up since that guy was so vain and wanted a lot of worshippers (according to Solas in the Temple of Mythal).
> 
> And it would make sense that Fen’Harel would have a good time there, being Mythal’s “old friend” and all. Oh, those god troubles.


	9. Believe me, now?

Party-version Solas and I watched as hobo-version Solas smooched the Inquisitor. The bald elf was shaking his head, about to go back in for the second kiss, when suddenly it all faded away.

We were back at the party. I looked at Solas, confused at what had happened.

“We do not have to watch it all,” he said, tiredly. “It is strange that _that_ was what you chose to present me.”

I shrugged. It was the first scene I could think of that was not in the future, but still showed him I knew my shit.

“Only the Inquisitor and I were present in that dream, of that I am sure,” he said all matter-of-factly. “If you have seen it before, then you certainly have witnessed things about me without my awareness.” He examined me closely. “Though it does not prove you know the future.”

“I know,” I countered. “But if I show you the future, it may alter it too greatly.” I tried to sound ominous.

“Hmm,” Solas considered. “Very well. I suppose you have shown me enough.”

I smiled, and then glancing around the ballroom, asked him, “what does Mythal look like, anyway?”

Solas smiled back at me, a devious glint in his eye. “ _That_ you will have to imagine on your own, after you _wake up_.”

I then jolted up on the rotunda couch. _He did the same wake-up thing to me that he did to Lavellan!_ I thought, aggravated.

I looked up at the scaffolding to see Solas was still painting, as if nothing had happened. There _was_ a suspiciously fresh blue streak across his arm though, as if he had grabbed his brush too quickly from a sudden movement...

“Sleep well?” he asked me, not even turning around, smugness _clearly_ in his voice.

I crossed my arms. “It’s very _rude_ to wake a person like that, Solas,” I sneered at him. “It feels _DREADful_.”

Solas stopped painting and turned around, giving me a guilty grin.

“Halamshiral is complete,” he stated, referring to the mural. He climbed down the ladder to look at his work from afar.

I stood up from the couch and stretched a bit. The sofa had not been all that comfortable, and I was kind of sore. I walked over towards him, looking at the mural. “You’re really good at painting,” I remarked.

Solas chuckled. “Thank you,” he said, “but it is not so difficult. I first outline the composition in the Fade, and when waking, I bring the work to life.”

 _Brings his work to life?_ “Like a god...” I commented. He shot me a warning look. I laughed a little, recalling when I had first seen him in the Fade, painting.

And then I remembered. I had just gone to sleep, but _didn’t_ return to the real world. My theory of sleeping in this world to return to the other must be wrong then. Unless this hobo god interfered or something. I sighed.

Solas noticed and asked me, “Something wrong?”

“I don’t know how I’m getting out of here.”

He raised an eyebrow at me. “One usually starts by using the door,” he told me sarcastically, pointing towards the closest one.

I crossed my arms. “Are you trying to get rid of me or something?”

Solas shrugged. “It would be _quieter_ if you left.” He moved to sit at his desk, casually opening one of the giant, old-ass books he had on it.

I glanced over his shoulder to see what he was reading. All the writing was in glyphs I couldn’t recognize. “Is this Ancient Elvish?” I asked him.

He didn’t turn around. “Yes.”

“What is it about?”

“Elven foci.”

“What more would you need to know about _that_?”

“...”

“Solas?”

“.......”

“Solas??”

“Please leave.”

I exhaled exasperatedly. I supposed I was annoying him, but he sure could be rude sometimes. I decided to leave him be. For a while, at least. “See ya,” I said.

“Goodbye,” he returned.

I left the rotunda, slowly taking my steps.

I thought to myself how I should prove to him that I knew the future. That his orb _would_ break. If I could predict some smaller event that would occur soon, he would probably start believing me. But I wasn’t really sure where I was in the _DA: Inquisition_ timeline.

I knew that they had recently gotten back from the _Wicked Eyes and Wicked Hearts_ quest, but that didn’t inform me about completed side-quests. Where was the “journal” that everything was kept in?? I recalled the many times my Inquisitor mentioned the so-called “reports” everyone was always writing. Where were those? The library? Who was always writing...

 _Scribbles_ , I thought. I went to search for Josephine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Scribbles” is a reference to Josephine’s fan nickname, in case that wasn’t cleaaaaar.


	10. Getting the Scoop: Josephine Edition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With a little cameo from Cole

Josie was in her normal spot: the cozy desk on the way to the War Table. I opened the door and was surprised by the heat of the room. Everywhere else was a bit chilly. _Especially_ Solas’ rotunda. That wolf never _did_ wear shoes. Was he immune to cold?

Just like her nickname implied, Josephine was scribbling away, and luckily alone. I supposed it was the evening time now, judging by how the sun had recently set. How _do_ you tell time here? I had to have Solas teach me.

She looked up at me, startled by the noise of me opening the door. Her sleeves seriously seemed to glow in the firelight. Glittering all crazy like gold.

"What may I do for you?" she asked politely, breaking my short reverie.

I knew I had to whip out the lies now. "Hello, my name is Anna. I’m new to the Inquisition, and Inquisitor Lavellan suggested that I get acquainted with where it stands currently." Was I getting better at this or what?

“Oh,” Josephine said in a surprised tone, "Thank you for joining our cause."

I bowed my head slightly. "I am already informed on the events concerning Corypheus, however I would like to know more about _other_ going ons."

"Other going ons?"

"Yeah, like has Varric gotten any visitors, did we kill any snowy wyverns, does Cole need an amulet... that sort of thing." I was counting the missions on my fingers.

Josephine blinked at me in disbelief. "It is funny that you should mention those things, because all of them _have_ recently happened. It is very coincidental..."

"Well, that is actually why I _joined_ the Inquisition," I told her. I then altered my voice to a low whisper, " _I have the second-sight_."

“Oh!’ said Josie, quite intrigued now. "Are you quite certain you have this ability?"

I shrugged. "Only with some things."

"I see," she said thoughtfully. "What else have you predicted?"

I proceeded to list all the companion side-quests I could remember, excluding hers. I didn’t want to freak her out about her family being slightly less rich, in case she didn’t already know. I was careful not to give any specific details about each quest, just a vague reference that she would pick up if it sounded familiar.

Josephine listened attentively and informed me about each situation. Most of these quests were completed, save one: Thom Rainier’s. _Guess it’s Blackwall’s next then_.

Satisfied that I had found something viable to predict to Solas, I moved onto another issue that was plaguing my mind. “Also, is it possible to have a bedroom assigned to me?” I tried to be as polite as I could. Josephine was _so_ nice.

"But of course," she said, and she told me of an empty room I could take up residence in.

I said my thanks and quickly skipped outta there. I wasn’t sure if it was because Josie was always this accommodating, but she _sure_ seemed gullible. Almost _dangerously_ so. _Hmmmm..._ Almost as if this fanfic author just needed the story to move along.............

She had given me verbal directions on how to get to the room, but if it wasn’t for my prior extensive knowledge of the fortress, I would have _surely_ gotten lost. They were like the longest directions ever:

"Go out the main hall and down the staircase that leads to the upper courtyard and walk up the stairway to the left of the tavern where you will then take a right and go all the way along the battlements until you reach the mage tower, from there, remain on the same floor and continue walking along _those_ battlements until you enter the fourth door, and from there you take another left, which leads to a much longer corridor where you will walk _down_ the stairs one floor and turn around the corner. From there you take the fifth door and you will find your new quarters."

WTF, Josephine. Don’t you have a map?

After about what felt like twenty minutes of ambling around Skyhold, I was finally coming to my room when a figure appeared suddenly in front of me.

"It hurts... why didn’t she ever go to the gym when her roommate invited her? Why are there so many stairs in this place? She feels like she just did a step aerobics class..."

It was Cole. Reading my thoughts aloud. Who else? "Hi," I said. I examined his ensemble. Solas might be considered a hobo by Dorian and Vivienne, but Cole had that look down to a _T_. That, or he looked like a weird ragdoll.

He observed me curiously. "You’re not like the others... You know things, like I know things, but you can’t hear..."

I nodded. "I’m Anna. I came here by accident." I thought about how I fell from the sky.

"You want to get back but you don’t want to leave. You want to help the wolf."

"Yes," I said cautiously. "But I must do it in secret. If the others find out, they will be hurt." _Little Cole_ , he was so cute.

Cole nodded and looked at me strangely. "You _like_ me..."

I chuckled. "Of course I do, silly spirit boy!"

"But I don’t know you," he wondered.

I patted him lightly on the arm. "You know enough," I said, shrugging. "I’m going to my new room, wanna see?" I opened the wooden door, gesturing inside.

"Someone died in their once, they screamed, shouted, but no one showed..."

"Gah, Cole!" I exclaimed, looking into the room nervously. "Why would you tell me that???"

"I hope you help his hurt," he said, before disappearing.

 _And I hope this room doesn’t have some creepy ghost_ , I thought. Thanks a lot, Cole. Some spirit of compassion, _you_ are.

I looked at the state of my new room. It was dark, and musty. And _super_ dusty. But at least it didn’t have a tree busting through the wall, like I knew some rooms were known to have.

There _was_ a bed though and a little fireplace. A table and a desk. A small wardrobe. It was kind of quaintly cute.

I walked over to the fireplace, determined to get some warmth into the room. There were some logs in there, but none were lit. _Shit_. Where’s a lighter when you need one?

I sighed, frustrated. I found two little sticks and started rubbing them together, boy scout style. After a few minutes of nothing, I gave up. I was no boy scout.

It was really dark in there too, since there was only one tiny window, and nothing but moonlight to fill the room. There were a couple of half-used candles on the table, but those were sadly also not lit.

I resigned to sitting on the bed, testing the springiness of the mattress, a cloud of dust puffing up in return. Unfortunately, it barely sprung at all because I’m pretty sure the bed was made out of straw. _Sigh_. Even Solas’ couch was more comfortable than this.

I pondered the idea of forcing myself to try and sleep until the morning came, but then I remembered something. There was always the tavern.

Beer sounded good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry, Cole, but Anna’s flabby arse is just a pain you can’t heal ;)
> 
> Don’t actually try to walk Josephine’s directions. They’re, uh, “ _exaggerated_.”


	11. Dragon Age Ale? Not so good.

I took my time walking to the tavern. Josephine had pretty much assigned me a room in the middle of nowhere, so I figured getting anywhere would be pain from then on.

I eventually saw Cassandra practicing in her usual place with the dummies. Even though it was dark out... And she had been practicing all day... Now _that_ is a woman who just don’t quit. I stopped for a moment, thinking about speaking to her. _Nah,_ I thought. _Beer first._

I pushed the door to the tavern open and strolled inside. It was warm inside the building, luckily, since I was starting to get pretty chilled outside. I sat down in front of Cabot the dwarven bartender and asked for an ale. _That's what they drank in this game, right?_ I silently asked myself.

He poured me a glass and set it in front of me, looking at me expectantly.

I noticed the stare and questioned with a "hmmm?" He didn't reply but simply crossed his arms, looking annoyed. Oh. Money. The thought that I had to pay for this drink had never occurred to me. The cinematics in the game never showed the Inquisition paying, so I had just figured it was free. Obviously, I hadn’t thought there was a connection between paying for stuff at the shops and paying for food at the tavern. _Whoops_.

I looked around nervously, panicking slightly at what to do.

"Put it on my tab, Cabot," a deep, instantly recognizable voice from behind me said.

I wheeled around to see The Iron Bull looking down at me, one eyebrow cocked in the air. He sat down next to me and ordered an ale for himself.

Cabot nodded to Bull and left without a word. When Bull received his beverage shortly after, he clinked his glass with mine, saying, "Drink up!" He took a swig and so did I.

The taste shocked me. It was extremely bitter and _extremely_ potent. I felt it go straight to my stomach. "Ugh," I said, my displeasure obvious.

Iron Bull laughed. "Name's The Iron Bull, by the way."

I smiled at him, taking in his large, rather grey, form. I studied his face a bit before asking, "so you only grow hair on your face?" There was none on his head or exposed chest that I could discern.

"And here," said Bull, lifting up his right arm and pointing to his armpit. That was hairy too. “As well as... other places,” he added slyly.

"Heh." I nodded in understanding.

Iron Bull laughed at me. "Straight to the personal questions!" He looked at me thoughtfully. "I'm glad you're here, kid. We need more people like you who actually _inquire_."

I thought about what he said for a minute. My fake psychic abilities were limited to whatever I played in the game, anyway. Maybe I could add _“peculiar inquiring”_ to my Inquisition résumé of helpful abilities. Junior Inquisitor? I snorted at the thought.

Iron Bull was watching me during this short contemplation. He shook his head and laughed. "What brought you to the Inquisition, anyway?"

I shrugged. "I agree with what you guys are doing," I said simply.

Iron Bull nodded, smiling at the idea. _Iron Bull slightly approves_ , I thought to myself. “Why did _you_ join?” I asked him, even though I already knew the answer. I had to pretend to be a normal person at least _sometimes_.

“Well, I’m getting paid to be here.” He took another sip. “I lead the Chargers. We’re mercenaries.” He took another big gulp. I noticed he was eyeing the bard singing in the corner. _What a perv_ , I thought to myself humorously.

My ale was disappearing at a much slower rate than Bull's, but I eventually found it near the end. And I found myself _pretty_ intoxicated. I hiccuped.

Bull stood up, patting me on the back. "Good drinking with you, kid." He walked away, making it obvious that there was more _interesting_ company he wanted to engage with. He began chatting up the bard, who had stopped her singing to have a meal.

I watched Iron Bull try to schmooze the bard. She was obviously more interested in her meal. _Just stick with Dorian, Bull_ , I thought.

“Well, what do we have ‘ere?” a loud English, _elfy_ voice behind me sang. Why is every character in Skyhold introduced to me when my back is turned? _This author must be lazy_...

“ _Sera_ ,” I said, not even pretending to not know her. The alcohol had really gotten to my little secret agent game.

“Who’re you? How do you know me?” she asked, confused.

I mused the idea of telling her I was a friend of Red Jenny, but thought better of it. I wasn’t _that_ drunk. “Everyone in the tavern’s been talking about you.” I gestured around the room, which had, like, _three_ people in it. A slow day for Cabot. I took the last sip of my ale, making a face. “I’m Anna.”

“And here I thought you were just a pretty thing being all sad about herself and shite.” She sat down beside me. “But you’re actually a _drunk_ pretty thing.” Was she hitting on me?

I didn’t really care what she thought about me. Because honestly, who actually listens to Sera? I mean, she’s the _only_ one you can kick out of the Inquisition at any time. I was pretty sure if she thought I was crazy or suspicious, nobody would suspect me.

I wiped my mouth of any lingering ale and looked her square in the eye. “Wanna do some pranks?” I asked.

Sera chuckled maniacally. “Always, yeah? I’ve meaning to prank that Cullen prick for a while.”

“No, I’m thinkin’ someone else...”

She looked at me, eyes bright with excitement. “Who??” she laughed.

I smiled at her. “Solas.”


	12. Gagging the God

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because who _wouldn’t_ wanna prank that elf hobo?

" _Pfft!_ Droopy ears? I’ve put lizards in his bedroll just last week," she snorted, laughing at her own antic.

I smiled. "It’s time for a new one then."

"What do you have in mind, drunky?" She laughed.

I had to think for a bit. What did Solas _really_ deserve? That wouldn’t make him angry enough to kill me in revenge...

"I’ve got it!" I exclaimed. "But we have to wait for when he leaves his room."

"Which is, like, _nevah_ ," Sera commented.

I raised an eyebrow. "Not if the _Inquisitor’s_ involved."

"Involve Inky, too?" Sera snickered furiously. "This is gonna be good." She was on the edge of her seat, waiting for instructions. Sera barely knew me, but she was already ready to form a pranky alliance.

"You know how Leliana’s ravens are always hanging above Solas’ room?" I prompted.

"Yeah, of course! They’re always squawking and the like."

"But haven’t you noticed how they never _go_ on Solas? It’s because he put up an invisible barrier," I explained.

"He uses magic to protect himself from bird shite? Ugh, that elf. Can’t do anythin’ _normal_ ," she said.

Suddenly music filled the air. The bard was off her break, and had resumed singing. She was singing "Sera Was Never." I looked at the Sera sitting next to me. She seemed completely oblivious to the song about _her_.

"Um, Sera?" I asked.

"Wot?" She was still smiling from the idea of the prank, tipping her chair back and forth.

I looked at her incredulously. "Do you hear this song?"

"Yeah, what ‘bout it?" She still didn’t seem aware.

"Doesn’t it sound like… familiar or something?" I studied her face.

Sera shrugged. "Nah. Never heard it."

I waited for some more of the lyrics to play out, looking at Sera the whole time. Nothing. Not an ounce of recognition. _Oh well_.

We then proceeded to discuss the best way to break his barrier. Sera didn’t like the idea of using magic to break it, suggesting an arrow would be the best course of action.

"Yeah, but if it can block bird poop,—" Sera giggled at the mention of _poop_. "—won’t it block an arrow?" I inquired.

"Not _my_ arrow," she assured.

I considered it a moment. It _would_ be more intrusive than raven shite. "Okay, let’s do that then," I told her.

Sera laughed hysterically. "Yes! This is gonna be _classic_."

We parted ways under the plan that tomorrow I was going to get the Inquisitor to take Solas away from his room. Sera and I would then sneak into the top floor of the tower and shoot an arrow down, breaking the barrier. Then all we needed to do was clean up any evidence of the arrow, and the birds would do the rest for us. It was a solid enough plan.

I staggered back to my bed slightly more sober, pulling the stiff covers over my body. I was careful to remove my new Tevinter clothing beforehand, lying in only my underwear. Didn’t wanna get them wrinkled.

And even though it was cold, I easily fell into a deep sleep.

 

*****

 

I woke up the next day, groggy and thinking I was in my bedroom at home. My _real_ one. But as I blinked up at the wooden ceiling, I remembered my new Skyhold habitation. _At least I like this game_ , I thought. It could be worse.

I slowly recalled the events from last night. _Right_. Gotta get Solas out of that rotunda. I stretched slowly out of bed. I felt kind of gross. _Where do you shower around here??_ I realized then that I hadn’t used a toilet since arriving. I had to _go_.

I jumped up and put on my clothes, rushing out the door. I blundered down the hall, looking for a door that could lead to a bathroom. There was one at the end of the hall... one that was different from the rest. I pushed it open and thankfully I was right.

Squatting over a wooden port-o-potty (I mean, that’s basically what it was), I relieved myself. "Sweet Sylaise!" I exclaimed.

"Are you putting out a fire?" a voice called behind the door I had just pressed through.

"Heh, no..." I said, embarrassed. I hurried as quickly as I could and got out of there. When I stepped out, it was Solas leaning against the wall near the bathroom.

"Do you always cry out elven gods when you micturate?" he asked, smirking. He pushed himself from the wall and headed towards the bathroom door. “If that is true, I have a better one in mind to call,” he whispered, smiling at me. He continued to walk.

"Solas, wait!" I said to him. "Is this the only bath on this floor?"

He turned his head to look over his shoulder at me. "Yes."

"Then why are _you_ using it?" I asked him. _Why was he here??_

Solas turned around. "My quarters are in this corridor," he said simply.

"You don’t sleep in the rotunda?"

He raised an eyebrow at me. "No? I would hardly consider that a room for sleeping." He grinned slightly. "Although, I suppose _you_ did, not long after your arrival."

"Ohhhhh," I said, understanding. "I always thought you slept there."

"No, I do not," he told me. "Now if you would excuse me." He disappeared behind the door. Realizing he was now busy, I thought of the prank. _Time to move!_ I thought.

I ran in the direction of the Inquisitor’s quarters.

When I got to the main hall, I was pretty out of breath. I slowed down as I walked towards Lavellan’s room. She was probably there, right?

Just as I made my way up the steps to the throne, she burst out of the quarters. She gave me a small nod, "Anna, right?"  _Can’t you enter a room a little less violently??_ I thought.

I smiled, "Yes, I—" but was cut off by another person running beside me.

"Inquisitor!" he said, handing her a crumpled note. "Blackwall’s gone missing!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will we ever get to prank Solas??
> 
> The whole bathroom situation... a little immature, I admit, but haven’t you always wondered? All those rooms in Skyhold, but not ONE bathroom? Where do they all go??? I figure there must not be many....


	13. That Sly Thomcat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is this chapter about Blackwall? Yeah, sort of... _cough_

Inquisitor Lavellan read the note hastily. “We should head to Val Royeaux immediately.”

“I don’t know what Blackwall’s interest in this matter is, but it _could_ be a start...” the messenger said eerily. He left without another word. _Is handing off a note really all you’re good for?_ I thought.

Lavellan walked past me, completely ignoring our previous (almost) conversation. I turned to see she was headed towards the rotunda. Following her inside, Solas (who I guessed was all finished getting ready for the day, whatever _that_ entailed) took us both in.

“ _Vhenan,_ ” he said to her. He looked at me. “You.” _Yeah, whatever, wolf._

“Solas,” she said. “Blackwall is missing. We think he’s headed to Val Royeaux to see an execution.”

Solas nodded. “I shall prepare for departure immediately.” Then he glanced at me, considering something. “We should take Anna, as well.” _Yes!!_

Lavellan turned to look at me. “Do you know something?” she asked earnestly.

I nodded, thinking carefully. “Yes,” I said. “He wants to stop the execution… We should hurry!” I didn’t wanna give too much away.

“Alright, then prepare to leave.” The Inquisitor left in a rush, probably to go gather other companions.

 _Woo,_ I thought. _Good thing she trusts Solas so much_. If it was me, I’d a thought I was _way_ too shady. I looked at Solas. “Thanks,” I said.

He raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms. “What _do_ you know about this?”

Now was my chance to prove I knew the future. “They’re going to execute a guy, but Blackwall stops them because _he’s_ the actual criminal. And his real name is Thom Rainier, not Blackwall.” I thought a moment. “...and he’s not even a Grey Warden,” I whispered quickly at the end.

Now both of Solas’ eyebrows were raised as he considered my words. “I suppose we shall see if you’re right.”

“I _am_ right,” I countered.

He walked out of the rotunda. “We shall see!” he called.

 

*****

 

Well, obviously, it went _exactly_ as I predicted. In the end, my Inquisitor decided Blackwall aka Thom Rainier’s fate should be with the Wardens. He would remain with the Inquisition until then.

I hadn’t given Solas many details of Blackwall’s crimes before going, but enough to prove that I knew what would happen. Solas had no reason not to believe me from then on. _I hope_.

When we were back in Skyhold and there was finally a moment’s respite, I talked to Solas privately. He was a little upset by the whole ordeal.

“Are you okay?” I asked him. He was sitting on his sofa in the rotunda, one hand covering his eyes. He looked tired.

“I had assumed we were alike,” he said, referring to Blackwall. “We'd seen war, knew its terrible costs, but understood that it was necessary. But there was nothing necessary in what he did.” Solas removed his hand from his face, looking me straight in the eye. “Rainier did not survive death and destruction. He _sowed_ them. To _feed_ his own desires,” he said bitterly.

I nodded solemnly. “Yes, but he regrets that now. He wants to make up for it,” I told him.

Solas looked at me angrily. “By wearing another skin,” he scoffed. “He _ran_ away rather than face what he had done.” He looked down towards the floor. “He wasted his time,” he said quietly.

I sighed. I had heard this all before. It was a part of the in-game banter between him and Blackwall. But since he was saying it to me, I thought I might be able to change his mind.

“You're not so different from him,” I said softly. He flashed his eyes at me, angry, but didn’t say anything, letting me continue. “You also have a past you regret, a grave mistake that haunts you.” I lowered my voice considerably. “You live by a new skin.”

Solas got up suddenly, walking away from me. I knew he didn’t want to hear it. He thought about The Big Oops enough, I’m sure.

I thought of how Solas eventually apologizes to Blackwall for this hater-banter. He says something about a healer... “The healer has the bloodiest hands,” I said, remembering.

Solas stopped. His back was to me, but I heard him say something quietly in Elvish. I assumed it to be the same saying I had spoken in English.

I approached him, putting my hand on his arm. “The first step is always the hardest part.” _He had to face the pain to heal it._

He looked at me, giving a small, sad smile. “Your wisdom is surprising,” he told me in a low voice.

“I’m sorry if I hurt you,” I said sincerely.

He put his hand on mine, smiling a little more. “The wise must sometimes give people what they need, not what they want.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anna pretty much cheats with her “wisdom” in this chapter. She’s basically regurgitating stuff Solas has said in the game XD. But _he_ doesn’t know that....
> 
> To give her _some_ credit, at least she puts two and two together. But yeah, _totally_ manipulating that elf to think she’s wise. What a chump!


	14. All New, Faded for Solas

I was sitting in a huge lecture hall, college students scribbling frantically around me. Some had their laptops out, typing in a rhythmic _click-click._ I was in class, and I looked down at my own notebook, taking down what the speaker was saying.

I looked at the professor. It was Solas, but he was wearing normal clothes. A button down, slacks, glasses. He gestured to the projector screen, talking about something I didn’t understand. I raised my hand. “Professor Hahren?” I asked.

He looked at me.

“Can I use the restroom?”

He nodded. “Use the bathroom pass.”

But I just stood up and left, leaving the room. I walked out of the lecture, entering a hall that looked like my high school’s. As I walked down its endless linoleum, a bell rang, flooding the area with students. Everyone was on their smartphones or talking to other people, ignoring me.

I stepped out of the hallway and was outside. It was my college campus. The sun shone brightly, and there were trees shading the cemented path. I walked along until I found a bench. I sat down, but my phone started to ring.

“Hello?” I answered.

“Anna? Are you coming? You’re gonna miss it!” a voice said that was familiar, yet I couldn’t remember who it was.

“Yes, I’m coming!” I shouted. I started to run through campus.

I bumped into someone. I looked up, confused. It was Solas again. But he was dressed like how he was in the game (hobo garb).

He looked at me curiously. “Where is this?” he asked.

Everything suddenly didn’t feel right, didn’t feel real. I blinked at him. “I’m dreaming?” I asked.

“Yes,” Solas said, looking at his surroundings. “Is this where you come from?”

I looked around, too, taking in the familiar campus that I had trekked a thousand times. “Yes,” I told him. “It is.”

“In all my travels in the Fade, I’ve never _seen_ a place like this...” he wondered. He looked at students walking by, wearing backpacks and talking on phones.

“I’m not from your world,” I admitted.

He laughed, rubbing his head. He looked at me like I was the last puzzle piece finally falling into place. “And I thought I had secrets.”

 

*****

 

I woke up then, sitting straight up in my bed in Skyhold. I immediately threw off the covers and hopped out, quickly shoving on my clothing.

I ran out my door and down the hall, furiously knocking on Solas’ quarters. It took a few moments, but he soon opened the door.

“Can I come in?!” I asked hastily.

He nodded, moving aside so I could go in. I walked passed him and, when he had closed the door behind us, asked him, “Were you just in my dream?”

Solas rubbed his eyes before focusing them on me. He seemed to have just woken up himself, and I noticed his shirt was on backwards. He obviously had gotten dress rather quickly. Normally, I would have laughed, but panicked feeling in my gut prevented me.

“Yes, I was there.” He eyed me with intrigue. He didn’t say anything for a while after that, just observed me curiously. I took a deep breath. _What was this elf thinking?_

“Okay...” I said, putting my hands on my head and pacing around the room. He saw where I came from, the _real_ world. Now he _really_ knows I don’t belong here. What will he do?

“I suppose I should not be too surprised,” Solas finally said. “You never acted like you were from Thedas, _that_ much was certain.” He placed his hand on his chin, a small smile playing on his lips. “I never imagined it would be so... _bizarre_.” He laughed a little, looking at me. “Although, you _are_ a very strange human.”

“So what are you gonna do?” I asked him, holding my breath.

His eyes were glinting with questions. He studied my face, and with a smile asked, “What do _you_ think I will do?”

I exhaled, exasperated. “Just _answer_ , Fen’Harel!”

He was slightly thrown off by the sudden use of his god name, but only for a second. Recollecting himself, he replied, “Nothing. There is no cause for me to do anything. And, since you seem to want this kept secret, I will, as you have done for me.”

I relaxed a little, laughing at my previous worry. What had I been expecting him to do anyway? Solas had his own identity to hide, and my suspicious background would only stir up more questions around him.

I looked around the room then, realizing I had never been in his bedroom before. There were shelves lined with books, a little table that his staff leaned upon. I walked over to a small wardrobe. A wolf pelt was spread over the top of it, his jawbone pendant lying in the middle.

I felt the fur in my fingers. It was soft and pleasant to the touch.

“Where is this place you come from?” Solas asked. He was watching me. “Is it somewhere across the ocean, outside of Thedas?”

I touched his wolf jawbone necklace. The teeth pricked my finger, but not hard enough to bleed. “It _is_ outside of Thedas...” I said slowly, “but not from this world at all. I’m from another realm, like the Fade, almost.”

Solas approached me, his hands behind his back. His expression was full of wonder when he looked at me and said, “This is fascinating indeed.” He glanced at the necklace I was touching. “And you cannot return?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know how to.”

He hummed in understanding. “That is unfortunate.” He turned his gaze back towards me, smiling. “I would like to see it someday.”

I laughed a little at the thought. _Solas in the real world?_ Yeah right. I smiled, eyeing him. “By the way, your shirt’s on backwards.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know if this is a Solas-enough reaction. BUT, I like to think that since he's always vying for new knowledge and memories, he would be intrigued.
> 
> And I like imagining Solas in glasses, btw. Probably because of [this image](http://s743.photobucket.com/user/ShaylynBlack/media/18bf5491-a4e2-4a2e-8180-c4bcb0bf5195.jpg.html). Sighhhh...


	15. Skyhold Vignettes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo these are just various interactions with Anna and different inhabitants of Skyhold.... It's kind of random, I know, but I didn't want to force them into the story, so I thought I'd just post them as they are.

“Whatcha doin’, Blackwall?” I said, sneaking up in the (fake) Grey Warden. He was sitting at a table in the barn, working on something.

“Ah!” he said, jumping a little and trying (poorly) to cover something up, “nothing!”

I moved around the table to look at what he was doing. “Awww!” I said, seeing a little wooden figure. “So cute!”

Blackwall’s hands were protectively covering a hand-carved figurine of a little bird, its wings spread out gracefully around it.

“It’s just a little something... I was bored...” he trailed off.

“It looks really good! You’re really good at whittling or whatever.” I tried to encourage him with a smile.

He laughed nervously. “Thank you... It...  _eases_ the mind.”

I looked at the giant painting on the wall of the barn. It was the one with the giant wolfy thing and a halla. “Do you know who painted this?” I asked him.

“Ah,” he said, putting his hand on his head nervously, “that was... uh, done a long time ago.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Like, _how_ long ago?”

“When we all arrived at Skyhold,” he hesitantly explained.

“Was it by Solas?!” I asked excitedly.

Blackwall raised both his bushy eyebrows at me. “Why do you ask that?”

I laughed. “Oh, you _know..._ _halla..._  the _Dalish..._  the _Inquisitor,_ ” I said, having him put together the dots.

Blackwall studied the wall, examining the painting. “But... why would Solas... draw a bear?”

“That thing’s a bear?!” I exclaimed, squinting my eyes at it. I turned to Blackwall. “How do you know?”

He laughed nervously. “I painted it,” he said, finally giving up the ruse.

“WHAT?!” I turned back to the painting and then back to Blackwall, looking back and forth as if that would explain it.

He shrugged. “Well, back in Haven, I... had... It was just an impulsive painting.”

“Are you the bear?!” I asked excitedly.

“I should be going,” he said, backing out of the barn.

“What about the painting in the armory?!” I called after him. He practically ran, he was outta there so fast.

 

*****

 

“Hey, Viv!” I greeted the First Enchanter, settling myself into her sofa. _Oh, my gods._ This had got to be the most comfortable couch in Skyhold. This lady had _class_.

“You will address me as Madame de Fer,” she returned coldly. _The peacock_.

“Okay, Madame Deffer,” I said, purposely mispronouncing her name. “I have a proposition for you.”

She rolled her eyes. “And why do have the resounding feeling that it will be one I must decline, dear?”

I shook my head. “No, not this time.” Okay, I’ll admit. During our first introduction, I had suggested she let me wear her Orlesian horn-mask-thing. _What?_

She raised an eyebrow, anticipating my idea.

“What if we...” I said slowly, “...dress Solas?”

She gave me a curt smile. “No, thank you.” She started shooing me out of her office(/lounge?) area.

“No, but listen!” I said, trying to convince her. “We could make him not look so hobo-ish! It would good for the image of the Inquisition!”

She pushed me out the door, holding it open only a crack to say, “Darling, there is _nothing_ you could say to convince me _or_ the apostate of changing his attire.” She smiled and shut the door.

 

*****

 

I walked along the battlements of Skyhold, trying to determine what to do. I kept strolling a bit until I realized that Cullen’s office was nearby. _Five o’clock shadow, here I come!_ I thought.

I wasn’t sure if he was aware of my coming to Skyhold, so I knocked on his wooden door to be courteous, something I had never done while playing the game. He opened the door slowly, a puzzled look on his face when he saw me. “Hello? How may I be of service?” Cullen asked me. I really had come here without thinking. I stared at his face. Wait a minute...  _there was no stubble_. It _was_ morning-ish time. Was the constant stubble due to the game being perpetually stuck in the afternoon?

“Hi, I’m Anna. I’m new to the Inquisition.” Man, I sounded dumb.

“So you are,” he said in that slightly perverted-sounding voice, or was that just my imagination? He eyed me from head to toe. “I am Cullen Rutherford, Commander of the Inquisition.”

I nodded with a polite smile. “Can I come in?” I asked suddenly (boldly?).

He looked at me confusedly, but ultimately stepped aside. I glanced around his office. It was an exact replica of the game version, except there was slightly more light streaming in from the morning(ish) sun.

When I finished turning my gaze around the room, I landed it on him. “So...” I started, trying not to be _too_ awkward, “are we going to battle?”

He raised an eyebrow high, like practically _off_ his face high. “What... do you mean?”

I gestured to his body. Specifically, the weird boa thing (we all know). “Why are you dressed in full armor?”

He chuckled slightly, understanding dawning on him. But then he turned all serious-face, saying, “I’ve been attacked unprepared far too many times in my life. By wearing my armor, I can be ready at a moment’s notice.”

“Oh,” I said in intrigue. “That’s nice.” I glanced around the room again until I came across his lion helmet. I started snickering, picking it off a table. “Okay...  _Cullen..._  you _have_ to try this on for me!”

He took a step back, extremely perplexed by my sudden question. He had _Who is this person???_ written all over his face.

“ _Please_?” I begged, holding the helmet towards him.

“A-Alright,” he hesitantly agreed. He put his helmet on, completing his lion-warrior getup.

I laughed, clapping my hands. “That’s _amazing_ ,” I told him. “Like... just...  _perfect_.” He looked like a silver version of the Lion from the _Wizard of Oz._

Cullen rolled his eyes, slightly embarrassed, and removed his helmet quickly. I felt bad for making him feel that way, so I pulled the helmet from his hands.

“Here,” I said, placing it on my own head. “Now you can see what it looks like.” It probably wasn’t as good without the boa though.

Cullen smiled and then started laughing. “Is—is that what _I_ normally look like?” he asked, highly amused.

I smiled underneath the lion’s teeth. “It’s better with the full suit,” I said, taking the helmet off my head. I handed it back to the Commander. “Well, I won’t keep you from your work!” _Whatever_ that _was_.

“Anna,” Cullen said, somewhat bowing his head. “Welcome to the Inquisition.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The little bird Blackwall is carving is for Josephine <3


	16. Elfroot Collecting Simulator

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cleaning up Thedas, one weed at a time.

"Solas!" I said desperately, tugging his tunic. He shrugged out of my grasp, clearly annoyed. It had been two weeks since the Blackwall ordeal, and about a week since he had found out where I was _really_ from.

"What is it?" He asked, exacerbated. We were in the corridor that both our bedrooms resided in. I had caught him on the way to the bathroom.

I looked at his mouth briefly, squinting my eyes slightly. "How do you clean your teeth?" I fiercely asked him, my eyes blazing with intensity.

"Guh!" was the sound he made. I could tell the question surprised him, but his annoyance was much clearer.

"Please, Solas! I don't know how to clean my teeth here!" I begged him. I felt _horrid_ , as you could imagine.

He smirked at me, and then shook his head as if in disbelief. He looked at me again and chuckled. "You constantly surprise me, Anna," he said, his palm slowly approaching my face.

I backed away slightly from the gesture, alarmed at the sudden change. "What are you—?" But his hand soon stopped, hovering above my mouth. A magic light poured out of it, and after a few seconds, it stopped. He pulled away.

I felt my teeth. Squeaky clean.

"Wow," I said. "You just use magic for... _everything_."

He laughed at me again. "The general population uses elfroot leaves to do a similar function. This method is obviously superior." He looked positively smug.

I nodded in understanding. "Such a versatile plant," I commented. I suddenly thought of something. "Don't you think the name is kind of... racist?" _Leaf-ears_.

He gave me a small smile. "A common misconception. It was given that name since the elves first discovered its medicinal properties. It has nothing to do with the leaves slightly resembling elven ears."

I nodded again. "Makes sense... I mean, it's not really that ear-y a leaf anyway, right? Too many points."

"Yes," he said, smiling. He continued to the bathroom, a little faster this time than his previous gait.

 

I had pretty much given up the hope of returning home. I mean, I’d been at Skyhold so many days now, with no sign of ever going back. I had even tried sleeping in all sorts of ways, including in the spot where I first landed.

I asked Solas tons of questions about the Fade, trying to gather clues on how to return home. He was always happy to impart knowledge, so my Solas Approval was definitely high now, which was a plus.

I even asked Morrigan once to use her eluvian. When I explained to her that I thought I might be able to travel back home that way, that perhaps there was a secret portal in there or something, she simply told me, “I’ve never seen such a thing.” She didn’t let me use it. _Rude_.

Solas asked me about his orb breaking as well. I just told him it breaks in the final fight. He wanted to know more details; he wanted to prevent it. But I couldn’t give him anything else. “It just happens in the chaos, Solas,” I said to him. _Sorry_.

I didn’t mind Thedas _that_ much. But it still wasn’t home. I kept wondering, was time passing while I stayed here? Had the new semester begun already? Were my friends and family worried about my disappearance?

Or was I still passed out on the couch? And this was some insane, never-ending lucid dream?

Or maybe I was in a coma at home? I had no way to know.

The characters of the game had become a lot more real to me now. We interacted on a daily basis, and everyone pretty much liked me. I always knew the right dialogue options for approval.

Almost _nothing_ was going on at Skyhold, though. Plenty of War Table operations being carried out, but that didn’t really concern me. Time was much more _realistic_ now that I was actually here, so everybody was often just waiting around. I ended up reading some of Varric’s series _Swords & Shields_ to pass the time.

“Of _all_ the stories I’ve written, _that’s_ the one you’re asking to read?” Varric had asked me in disbelief when I requested a copy.

I shrugged. “Cassandra seems to be into it!” I defended.

Varric laughed, shaking his head. “Be my guest, Sleepy,” the rogue said, handing me the book. He had given me that nickname ever since everyone caught me trying to sleep at the Skyhold entrance gate ("I was _sleepy_!" had been my excuse).

And man, that dwarf could _write_ , even if it was fluffy romance stuff.

A few times I went with Lavellan and Solas on herb collecting trips. They needed to restock supplies for potions and such, and the two almost made it like a little date. I was really surprised the day Solas inquired if I would like to join them.

“Why are you asking _me_?” I asked him, slightly suspicious.

Solas laughed at me. “ _You_ are always the one following me around. I thought for once you would be happy at my invitation.”

So yeah, Solas was nicer to me now. I followed the two excitedly, grabbing a mount from the stables. _Yes_ , I _also_ started riding horses on my own. No harts like my Inquisitor would ride, though. And _definitely_ no Dracolisks. _Hell_ no.

We didn’t ride very far, just to the nearby forests where elfroot grew aplenty. Like it did _everywhere_ in Thedas. The mounts were more for convenience of carrying the load, more than anything.

Solas and Lavellan were really sweet when they were on their own, which I guess they still considered themselves even though I was with them. They would hold hands and say loving little things to each other when they thought I wasn’t looking. _Ar lath ma_. I heard it many times.

It made me a little sad, and I hoped Solas wasn’t going to dump her this time. But something told me he still would.

Once, I was attempting to pull an elfroot out by the roots, trying to not get too much snow on me, and Solas came over, shaking his head. “ _No_ , Anna,” he scolded. “You have to _cut_ them, like I showed you.”

He took out his knife and quickly sliced the stem. I sighed. “I _know_ , I just thought this would be faster,” I replied.

Lavellan laughed at us then. “It’s like you’re her Keeper, Solas,” she said, smiling warmly.

I laughed too, knowing how Solas felt about the Dalish. Then a thought struck me. “Can you call me _da’len_?!” I pleaded. “I’ll call you _hahren_!” I was a little _too_ excited at the thought.

Solas was taken aback by my question, but Lavellan encouraged him. “I don’t see the harm, Solas.” She smiled. “She’s so strange, for a human,” she quietly added thoughtfully.

Stranger still, Solas didn’t argue. He didn’t even seem uncomfortable when he said to me, “Then please heed my advice, _da’len_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wooooot Anna and her old hahren Solas. Life is _goooood_.
> 
> But really, would it be so crazy for Solas to call a shemlen “da’len”? I think in Anna’s case, where she’s the only one who knows his secret identity, and he pretty much trusts her, and she’s like this kid always asking him questions (which Solas likes to answer), I wouldn’t say it’s that crazy....
> 
> Or is it just my sad Solas fantasy... sigh...
> 
> If you want to know how Anna had been cleaning her teeth before this, she would generally bite into some firm cucumbers, swish around some water, and chew on some mint/cilantro. She was desperate :(
> 
> \----  
> Elvish translations:
> 
> _da'len_ = little child, little one
> 
> _hahren_ = elder


	17. Our last stand against Corypheus... or not

I was lying in my bed, staring at the ceiling. I had been awake for an hour at least, but wasn't in the mood to get up yet. I wanted to live like a normal person again. I wanted to see my friends, go to class, take a _shower_ , not a bath...

As I was I thinking this, he burst through my door, not even bothering to knock. _Why does everyone in Skyhold do that??_ I looked up to see Solas, his expression a mixture of concern and excitement. I raised an eyebrow at him.

"They have discovered that Corypheus plans to find an eluvian in the Arbor Wilds," he said breathlessly.

I got up from my bed immediately. " _Finally_ ," I said to Solas. The main quest was continuing.

Solas began to pace throughout my room. "I am concerned, as I am sure you would understand. It is very near the Temple of Mythal."

I nodded to him. "Yeah, that’s where we’re going... Do you think your old buddy will be there?" I asked, referring to Mythal. I knew the answer, but was curious to his response.

Solas shot me a worried look. "I know this temple to be long forgotten amongst the elves. A forbidden place, in a way."

"Uh-huh," I said knowingly.

Solas stopped pacing and turned towards me. He placed his hands on my arms. "Please, Anna, tell me! What happens at the temple? Is this where you have foreseen my broken orb?"

I considered the situation for a moment before answering. How much should I let Solas know? How much would change?

I shook my head. “Your orb is not broken there. We don’t even fight Corypheus.”

Solas let me go, but continued to stare at me with confused eyes. “Then why bring the Inquisition forces there?”

“Well,” I explained, “he and his forces are still _there_ , and we still have a lot of fighting to do... but it’s not the final fight.”

Solas sighed, sitting on the bed next to me. “The Temple of Mythal...” He chuckled bitterly. “It has been a long time.”

I patted him lightly on the back. “There, there, old elf,” I said, but secretly, I knew. He had every reason to be worried.

Because the Temple of Mythal changed everything. It revealed the ancient elves, truths about Fen’Harel and the old gods... and it even contained the will of Mythal. A lot for my poor Inquisitor to soon be digesting.

I looked at the old bald god next to me, worry was creasing his brow. “No matter what happens,” I told him, “the Inquisitor will always love you.”

He looked at me, a sadness filling his features. “I know,” he said quietly.


	18. Cute Little Gold Outfits

The Arbor Wilds. I never thought this while playing, but it was _hot_ here. And humid, too. Sera’s old hunter coat that I was wearing also was not helping. I pulled at the leather to let my skin breath a little. _Guh_. I felt sweaty and gross.

I looked at Solas, who was standing very close to Lavellan. _All_ up in her personal space. They were both wearing Dalish Keeper robes, much to my able-to-make-fun-of-him delight. He looked _so_ whipped. Especially since I knew he hated all things Dalish.

He had convinced the Inquisitor to bring me along on the mission. Solas told her my “insight” could be useful in the Wilds. She believed him without question. That girl was in _way_ too deep.

Morrigan waved the Inquisitor over, telling her that she believes Corypheus is looking for the Temple of Mythal, blah blah blah. I took the opportunity to pull Solas aside. He already knew about the Temple, anyway.

“Solas, aren’t you hot?” I asked him, examining at the detail in his high collar.

Solas looked down at me. “I am fine,” he said, his voice casual.

I narrowed my eyes, searching his face. Suddenly, I understood. “I want one, too!” I exclaimed, but not loud enough to attract attention.

He looked away from me, keeping a cool expression. “Want what? I do not understand you.”

“Give me a frost rune, too!” I demanded. “And don’t pretend like you didn’t put one on _your_ skin. I can _tell_.”

Solas’ mouth twitched as if he were trying not to smile. “Give me your arm,” he finally said.

The cooling relief of the frost rune was instant and wonderful. It was perfectly refreshing; Solas knew just the right amount. “Thank you,” I said, smiling at him gratefully.

He nodded and walked back to Lavellan’s side, who had now begun talking to Josephine. I glanced around the camp and noticed Cole, looking spaced out as usual.

“Whaddup, Cole?” I said, giving him a friendly pat on the arm.

He continued to stare off into the distance. “He wants to believe, but the blame, the battle, the blood...” he trailed off vaguely.

My eyes widened. “Are you talking about Solas??” I asked excitedly. Did Solas want to believe in Lavellan, was he trying to believe in modern elves?

Cole finally turned to me. “No,” he said, tilting his head. “I was hearing him.” He pointed to a soldier praying to the Andraste shrine in the corner of the camp. Oh. _That_ guy.

The Inquisitor then ordered us to roll-out, and I found myself in the middle of all the companions: Morrigan, Cole, Cassandra, Solas, and, of course, Lavellan.

I felt awkward marching in my ill-fitted armor (Sera had _really_ big boobs), but grateful to have _some_ protection. I also had to admit the nervousness I felt in my stomach. This would be my first time in battle, and I had _no_ fighting skills whatsoever. The most I had to my name was an old rogue dagger Cole had given me, and a palm-thrust move a self defense instructor had taught me long ago in real life. Oh, and one healing potion.

I was totally screwed.

My only consolation was the fact, or rather _hope_ , that if I _did_ indeed die in _DA: Inquisition_ , then I would at least wake up in my normal life. But there were many other darker _what-ifs_ clouding that belief...

It seemed like Solas was aware of my apprehension, since he walked by my side as we journeyed forth. He was only a few steps behind Lavellan’s right flank, though. Always within reach.

She was leading us bravely, along with Cole at her left side. Cassandra was on my other side, and Morrigan took the rear. I was well guarded.

I felt slightly embarrassed at the amount of burden I placed on them, but I wouldn’t miss this quest for the world. _Shit’s about to get real._

We pressed on, until finally I heard the clash of weapons. I looked ahead. A Templar was fighting an Inquisition soldier.

Cole and Cassandra went running towards the Templars, attacking ruthlessly. Morrigan, Solas, and Lavellan remained beside me, wielding their staffs beautifully.

I crouched down and waited for it to be over. I admit, not the _best_ position in a battle, but I was also trying not to piss my breeches.

The battle was not too long, however, and soon Solas was grabbing me to get up. “Come, Anna! We must hurry!” he shouted.

We trudged on, fighting Templars and Wardens and helping our forces. I noticed elven statues in each new area, including a bunch of giant Fen’Harels, but Solas never gave them any attention.

As each fight went on, I got a little braver and began to watch my companions. I tried to see the perfect form in Solas’ magic that Iron Bull had once commented on.

I wasn’t quite sure what to look for, but he definitely had a grace about the way he swung his staff around his body. It danced as if to a rhythm, and the way he pulled at rifts was equally as enchanting.

My Lavellan was not quite as elegant. Her movement was much more rigid. Every attack was like a harsh staccato, her staff jerking around her small frame. But soon after a few spells, she went running into battle, her Knight-Enchanter blade in hand.

Morrigan was... well. I didn’t really look at her. It was hard for me to take her sincerely, because she was dressed so...  _distastefully_. How can you seriously wear a bikini to battle??

Another battle ended, and the Inquisitor turned back to us to signal a move-forward. She was absolutely covered in blood. It made me uneasy.

As we pressed on, little tents came into view. A Templar camp.

We saw several Red Tempys there, and the group ran to engage them. Suddenly, elvhen sentinels appeared, joining the fight. I stole a glance at Solas. Did he recognize his kin? But he seemed only focused on the battle.

I fell back, letting the others do their thing. The elvhen were terrifying, disappearing and reappearing in their cute little gold outfits to stab someone in the back. I found a nice leafy bush to hide myself in.

I watched as my Lavellan repeated the same strategy tactics she had in the previous battle. She sliced away at a Red Templar, cutting him to death. She began to trek towards another one, failing to notice the elvhen assassin at her back...

Oh, no. She was about to get _shanked_.

I shot up from my position. _What can I do?_ I thought.

A wall of fire blazed up behind her, burning the elf in its wake. I looked over to see that Solas had cast the protection. He was always guarding her.

And then another warrior came out of nowhere, stabbing him in the side.

He fell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Cole dialogue is inspired by allll the times I was hoping he was talking about Solas in the game, only to find out it was just some random movie reference or other person. Sigh.... Solasmancer life.


	19. Healing Potion Fail

“I must retreat!” Solas shouted, staggering slowly to the ground. That’s a _really_ lame way to go.

Without thinking, I went running towards him. Luckily, after he fell to the ground, all the enemies pretty much ignored him, storming off to the other NPCs.

Once I was there, I knelt beside him, staring at his bloody wound. It looked deep. “Solas, are you actually dying right now??” I asked desperately.

Solas coughed and put his hand on the wound. It looked like he was trying to heal it, but he had no more mana to expel. “ _Da’len..._ ” he said, looking at me sadly. My heart just about broke.

But then I remembered my healing potion. I gently moved his bald head onto my lap to better angle him. Parting his lips, I slowly poured the potion into his mouth, just like how I had seen the surgeon do on my first day at Skyhold.

I briefly thought back to the healing potions in my real-life gameplay. Would he just spring up and get back to attacking?

I looked at his wound, it seemed to have healed itself slightly, but wasn’t all the way fixed. Solas must have had too much HP to regain. _Stupid potion!_ I silently cursed.

He seemed revived enough though, and soon sat up, grabbing a lyrium potion from his belt. He downed it quickly, and using his hand, Solas healed the wound completely like he had meant to before.

Relief washed over me. “You know, for a _god_ , you sure go down easy.”

Solas just smiled and gave me a wink, jumping back into the soon-to-be-over battle. No angry or nervous look over me mentioning his godhood whatsoever. Just a wink, a _wink-wink_. I tried not to smile too broadly, what with the combat still going and all.

Despite Solas almost bleeding out, no one seemed to notice our little exchange, and when the assault ended, the only thing the group mentioned was the supply cache Cole pointed out. _Okay_.

I made sure to grab some from the cache, taking _two_ healing and lyrium potions this time. _Each_. I slipped the small vials into my hunter coat.

We continued to move, and along the way Lavellan asked, “Who were those elves? They didn’t look Dalish!” _A little late to the game, boo_ , I thought.

“It seems this Temple of Mythal is not deserted after all,” Solas commented. I stared at Solas, my eyebrows dancing suggestively in the air, but he didn’t look at me. _STOP IGNORING ME DAMNIT._

“Perhaps these creatures are the reason few return from the Arbor Wilds,” Morrigan said eerily.

I jerked Solas’ sleeve. _You know these are ancient elvhen, right? RIGHT??_ I tried to convey with my facial expression. He looked down at me, confused. Whether he was faking it or not, he seemed oblivious. I rolled my eyes.

Our group pushed on, picking up Leliana and Cullen along the way. “Why is _she_ here?” Cullen asked, looking at me in disbelief.

I shrugged, slightly offended. “I’m here to help. I have _insight_.” I nudged Solas. _Tell him, wolf!_

Cullen looked at me worriedly. “Inquisitor, she can’t even defend herself...” he said, highly concerned. “Perhaps she should be sent back to camp,” he suggested.

Lavellan considered his proposition for a moment. I worried she would actually agree, so I cut in. “ _Please_ , Cullen. I’m perfectly safe! Plenty of protection around me.” I patted Solas, and he nodded in confirmation. “I usually just duck out and am fine, anyway.”

Cullen still wasn’t convinced. “Perhaps we should send a few more soldiers with you, as a precaution...” he recommended.

I looked at the Inquisitor, smiling at her to show how confident I was. “No, the forces need to remain here,” I countered. “We’ll be _fine_.”

It seemed to work. Lavellan told Cullen to continue holding the ground, and the companions kept pushing forward. I looked back at Cullen, mouthing _It’s okay!_ but it did nothing to ease his apprehension. _Oh well_. Why was he so worried anyway? Leliana was standing there the whole time, and _she_ didn’t give a fuck.

We finally made it to the tunnel that led to the Temple of Mythal. Huge wolf statues howled on either side. I looked at the giant monuments of Fen’Harel, nudging Solas in the arm with my elbow. “Nice, huh?” I whispered.

He shot me an angry look. “It was a mistake to bring you here,” he said in a low voice, but I knew he didn’t mean it. His expression soon turned into a smirk. _You know you like them wolves_ , I thought.

The Inquisitor led the way through the tunnel, with the five of us in tow. “There. That must be the Temple of Mythal,” she mused.

It opened to a huge tropical-y area and a _whole_ lotta dead Templars. We peered over the ledge, and I saw Corypheus for the first time. _Ew_.

He was all sorts of gross, and my stomach queased at the forthcoming scene I knew we were all about to witness.

Corypheus talked about the Well of Sorrows, Morrigan looked like an idiot, he exploded, killed the elvhen, broke the barrier... You guys know the deal.

While my companions investigated the explosion, I ran straight for the temple, not even stopping to observe Corypheus’ ‘sploded body on the ground. I knew he was about to respawn through a Warden. _Hell no am I gonna watch that shit,_ I thought.

Only Solas noticed my escape, and Fade-Stepped towards me, confused. “Where are you going?!” he shouted, obviously concerned that I was heading where Samson had just disappeared to.

I turned back as I was running. “Solas, don’t watch! It’s _super_ nasty!”

He didn’t listen though. Instead, he took another Fade Step and arrested me by the arm. He looked back at the rest of the group, who were now seeing the Grey Warden get all Corphy-ed up. I held my gaze at the temple. I didn’t need a _real_ version of that scarred in my brain.

“Across the bridge. Now!” I heard the Inquisitor sing behind me. The archdemon suddenly flew in squawking.

Solas let me go, and we began running side-by-side. “You were right,” he breathed. “That was repulsive.” _Damn straight_.

We were the first through the doors, and I motioned to start pushing. Man, those things were _heavy_. We had each taken a door, but mine was moving at a _much_ slower rate than Solas’. _I gotta start working out_ , I thought uselessly.

The others soon joined us though, and we shortly had the doors closed, just in time for the archdemon to spray a little fire-spit through the crack. We were safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Elvish translations:  
>  _da'len_ = little child, little one  
>  _elvhen_ = "Our People". Elven name for their own race... in this case though, Anna means actual ancient immortal elvhen.


	20. What That Silly Wolf Had Wrought

I stepped away from the doors and looked into Mythal’s sanctum. It was gorgeous, in a decaying ruin kind of way. Behind me, the group scolded Morrigan for misleading them on Corypheus’ goal, thinking he wanted the Well and not the eluvian. _Little do they know_.

The companions glanced around at their surroundings.

“The Temple of Mythal...” Lavellan breathed. Unlike my stiff video game version, she was in awe. Her _vallaslin_ actually _matched_ her beliefs. She bowed her head and whispered a short prayer in Elvish. I noticed Solas looked away from her then, casting his gaze on the ground.

“You said this Mythal was worshiped as a goddess?” Cassandra asked Morrigan out of curiosity, completely oblivious to Lavellan _worshiping right there_.

“So it would _appear_ ,” Morrigan explained, glancing at the Inquisitor. “What is a god but a being of immense power? Perhaps Mythal was a powerful elf, a ruler among her kind. History often plays storyteller with facts.”

I looked at Solas. _Immense power, huh?_ I thought.

Solas didn’t see me, and instead only sneered at Morrigan, “You admit lack of knowledge, and yet dismiss her so readily?!” He was taking this _way_ too close to heart.

“I do not dismiss her,” Morrigan said, surprised by his tone. “I question her _supposed_ divinity. One need not be a god to have value. Truthfully, I am uncertain Mythal was even a single entity. The accounts are... varied.” She observed the engravings of the archway.

“In most stories,” Morrigan continued, “Mythal rights wrongs while exercising motherly kindness. Other paint her as dark, vengeful.”

Solas rolled his eyes. “More Dalish tales, I assume?” I shook my head, covering my eyes in disbelief. _OMG, you gotta chill, Solas!_

“If you know more about this, Solas, speak.” Lavellan requested, obviously sensing his contempt.

Solas took a breath. “The oldest accounts say Mythal was both of these, and neither. She was the mother; protective and fierce. This is all I will say.” He then said quietly, as if to himself, “This is not a place to stir up old stories.”

“Whatever the truth,” Morrigan snapped, “ _all_ accounts of Mythal end the same: exiled to the Beyond with her brethren.”

Solas looked away then, turning his body slightly away from the group. I inched over to him, raising my eyebrows to ask if he was okay. He gave me the slightest of nods, eyes dark and sad.

Nobody asked, but Morrigan annoyingly continued her monologue anyway. “Tricked by the Dread Wolf, as all the elven gods were said to be, trapped in a land beyond the Fade. Many Dalish believe this is why the elves fell from grace, and their gods did not save them. _Or_ perhaps they were simply rulers slain by Tevinter. Who can say?”

“Certainly not you,” I blurted out thoughtlessly. Morrigan raised an eyebrow at me. “... because you weren’t there, _of course_. No one was there, _heh_ ,” I explained quickly. Solas gave me a weak smile.

Only Cassandra seemed to be interested in Morrigan’s little speech, nodding with a _hmmm_. Lavellan was giving Morrigan a dirty look, though. Was she upset that Morrigan mentioned Fen’Harel in such a sacred place? If that was the case, then she _sure_ was in for a surprise.

I glanced at Solas again. He looked dismal. If Lavellan acted this way from just _hearing_ about the Dread Wolf, maybe it _would_ be impossible to tell her the truth. I shook my head. _Gods, these two._

We continued through the temple then. It was overgrown and full of insects flying everywhere. I had to swat at my face constantly to feel safe. _Guh,_ I thought. _Can’t those elvhen clean up a bit?? They live for-friggin-ever!_

We soon arrived at the first ritual platform. Lavellan stepped on one of the tiles, which emitted a blue glow.

“It appears the temple’s magicks are still strong,” Morrigan duly noted.

“Ancient elven,” I said, staring at the symbols on the stone. The glyphs were just like the ones in all of Solas’ musty books.

Solas glanced at me briefly before reading aloud, “ _Atish’all Vir Abelasan_. It means, ‘Enter the path of the Well of Sorrows.’ ” I watched his face as his eyes darted around the rest of the statue, _obviously_ reading the rest to himself. _Sneaky bastard_.

“There is something about knowledge,” Morrigan interjected, trying to outshine the elven god, “Respectful or pure...  _Shiven, shivennen..._ ” Solas rolled his eyes. He looked at me knowingly. _Can you believe this shit?_ his eyes said. I shook my head incredulously in response.

Morrigan shrugged, looking at the Inquisitor. “ ‘Tis all I can translate. That it mentions the Well is a good omen.”

Lavellan blinked at her for a moment before saying, “I know, I read it all myself.” _Boom_. Finally a Lavellan to be proud of.

Morrigan laughed nervously. Solas looked towards the Inquisitor and smiled.

Remembering the line that she was supposed to say next, I put on my best Morrigan voice and said, “Supplicants to Mythal would have first paid obeisance here. Following their _paaawth_ may aid entry.” I emphasized the vowel in “path” for extra measure.

Morrigan looked over at me, confused that I would have such knowledge (and maybe that my impression of her was that good??). I smiled, but before I could explain, Cassandra chimed in suddenly, saying, “Perform a ritual to appease elven gods? Long dead or no, I don’t like it...”

Lavellan hesitated a moment, worried about upsetting the Seeker. Such a caring elf I had created!

“No, you should definitely do the ritual. Trust me,” I told her. Solas looked at me with an eyebrow raised.

Cassandra scoffed at the remark, but Lavellan seemed convinced. She nodded and the rest of us backed away from the platform. She began walking the tiles. _But she kept doing it wrong..._

“Inquisitor, you can’t step on the same tile twice,” I explained, pointing out the area she had just stepped on.

“Oh,” she said, trying the ritual again. She walked on the wrong one, and all the tiles flashed gold before darkening again.

Morrigan and Cassandra moaned in impatience. Climbing up on one of the surrounding fence-stones, I helped direct Lavellan onto the correct tiles. Boy, didn’t _this_ feel familiar.

As we worked, Morrigan commented, “This is where petitioners walked the path of their gods.” _Yeah?_ I thought. _And how do you know_ that _, Morrigan?_

“It is where they paid fealty to the gods,” Solas said, causing me to look back down at him. He continued, “I have seen it. In the Fade.” He looked at me deliberately, knowing I knew the real reason. _You lived that shit_. “Only the reverent were permitted to touch this ground, and only in solemn contemplation.” It was a good thing my elf had Mythal _vallaslin_ , then.

We completed the first ritual, and the click of something unlocking snapped somewhere. We looked around for what caused the sound, and saw a door above us light up. The Inquisitor led our group up the steps. But as we approached it, I noticed to my left the entryway to a familiar place.

“Solas,” I said softly, tugging his giant Dalish vest thing. “Let’s check out over here, first.”

Solas looked a little concerned, but as he was finally starting to listen to what I had to say, he followed me. We slipped away from the others to enter an area with a statue of the Dread Wolf.

“You like?” I asked him, laughing slightly.

“ _Anna_ ,” Solas said, annoyed. He looked around nervously. The others were still going through the other door.

“Don’t worry,” I assuaged. “There’s, like, _no_ fighting for a while.” I gestured for him to get closer to the statue. Pointing down at a big stone tablet, I asked him, “Okay, _what_ is this? What does this symbol mean?”

He looked back in the direction of the others once more. When he was certain they would not hear him, he quickly replied, “It is the mark of my _vallaslin_.”

“Friggin’ _knew_ it,” I told him, crossing my arms smugly.

Solas only shook his head and said, “We should return to the others.”

But it was too late. They had already found us.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Solas and Anna slipping away from Lavellan unnoticed? Hey, Solas is a quiet guy, I’m sure there is a way...


	21. Fen’Helllllo

Lavellan, Morrigan, Cassandra, and Cole came running towards us. Their expressions looked slightly panicked, but mostly confused (and annoyed). The Inquisitor was gripping her staff, obviously thinking we had been trouble.

“Why did you—?” Cassandra began asking, but Morrigan cut her off (rudely).

“Why would _this_ be here?” the witch asked, staring at the giant (happy?) wolf statue.

The gang all took in the monument behind Solas and me, wondering what she was talking about. The Inquisitor looked instantly appalled, taking a step away from the Fen’Harel statue (and the _real_ Fen'Harel standing in front of it).

“Something wrong?” Cassandra asked, directing it at both the women. She didn't know  _what da fuck_ was going on.

“It depicts the _Dread Wolf_ , Fen’Harel,” Morrigan awed, her yellow eyes sparkling with questions.

I shot a glance at Solas. He narrowed his eyes at me, giving me a glare that silently said, _See what you’ve done?_

Morrigan stepped a little closer to the statue. “In elven tales, he tricks their gods into sealing themselves away into the Beyond for all time,” she continued to explain.

I felt bad for Solas, who was obviously uncomfortable about Morrigan explaining his former deeds. “Yeah, you already said that stuff,” I told Morrigan, cutting her off. “We don’t need to hear it again.” I waved my hand in a dismissive sort of way.

Morrigan looked at me, very aggravated. _Sorry, witch, but you won't shut up._  She continued to give me the stink-eye as she said, “Yes, but setting Fen’Harel in Mythal’s greatest sanctum is as blasphemous as painting Andraste naked in the Chantry.”

“Oh, my,” Cassandra commented, gaping at the wolf (I still don't think she understood though).

Inquisitor Lavellan spoke up. “My clan set statues of the Dread Wolf outside our camp,” she said quietly, eyeing the statue cautiously. “They’re meant to frighten harmful spirits...” She drifted off. She looked at the ground, seeming rather distraught.

Morrigan didn’t seem convinced though. “ _Perhaps_. Though I thought the ancient elves above _quaint_ superstitions.” Ouch. _You’re kinda a bitch, Morrigan,_ I thought.

Solas cut in, unable to hold back anymore. “For all your _‘knowledge,’_   Lady Morrigan, you cannot resist giving legend the weight of history,” he jeered. “The wise do not mistake one for the other.” _Like me?_ I thought to myself. _Huhu._

“Pray tell, what meaning does our _elven ‘expert’_ sense lurking behind this?” Morrigan sneered back, crossing her arms, eyebrow raised as high as physically possible.

“None we can discern by staring at it,” Solas snapped. He wanted to get outta there.

Lavellan took another look at the wolf statue. I could tell she was uneasy. Most of the color seemed to be drained from her face; even her _vallaslin_ looked lighter. “We’ve spent enough time here. Come on...” she said. We turned around and left.

I fell behind the group with Solas, poking him in the arm to see if he was okay. He just looked away, not meeting my gaze.  _Shit_. He must be upset with me.

We all went through the door that was previously unlocked by the ritual. Strolling into a new large area, Solas and I noticed a bunch of dead Templars were lying at the entrance. “I see the Red Templars have already encountered the temple’s guardians,” Solas noted.

“No,” Cassandra corrected. “While the two of you ran off, we fought them.” _Uh-oh._

Solas jerked his head to give me the _dirtiest_ look. Oops. I guess I had forgotten about _that_ fight. If he was mad at me before, he must be _pissed_ now. I looked away, pretending not to notice. _Doot doot dooo. I'm just an innocent whistler_.

We approached a large hole in the ground, where the secret sewers(? _Is_ that what they are??) of Mythal's temple laid underneath. “Samson and his group blew the floor out and headed down there,” Lavellan pointed out, gesturing to the giant hole.

Solas shook his head in disapproval. “They have defiled this temple,” he said to me quietly, surprising me.

“I know,” I agreed. “It’s really sad.” It was my honest opinion. He nodded in understanding.  _Maybe he wasn't so upset with me after all._

Cole spoke up suddenly, his tone strained. “People are dying outside while we stand here. If we use the tunnel, more of our soldiers can flee.” The spirit felt the pain in the Arbor Wilds outside. I briefly thought of how much the Inquisition forces were actually fighting out there. How many Templars does Corypheus have  _anyway_???

The group stopped to contemplate the issue: tunnel or rituals?

“ _This_ leads to our true destination,” said Morrigan, pointing towards a door that she somehow (shadily) knew led to the Well. “We should walk the petitioner’s path, as before.”

Cassandra jumped into the discussion, her armor making a light _clank_ sound. “An army fights and dies for us! The longer we tarry, the more soldiers we lose outside,” the Seeker argued. “Let’s jump down and be done with this place.”

Solas shook his head. “In this case, I must agree with the witch.” _You mean ‘bitch,’_ I thought. He turned to the Inquisitor, his Keeper robes swishing gently. “This is ancient ground, deserving of our respect,” he pleaded, eyes on hers.

I nodded enthusiastically, attracting Lavellan's attention. “Solas is right—” I told her, not admitting Morrigan was, too “—we should complete the rituals. They’re super easy anyway.” Like hello, fight a bunch or just walk on some stupid tiles???

“We _cannot_ find the Well of Sorrows unprepared,” Morrigan petitioned. _She's all about that Well, 'bout that Well, no tunnel._

Lavellan nodded at me, seeming to accept my advice, but she looked at Morrigan with caution, her teal eyes narrowed. “You’re very eager to reach our destination...” the Inquisitor said to her, obviously suspicious.

“Are we not _all_ eager to stop Corypheus from achieving his mad plan?!” Morrigan defended, a little too passionately.

“It sounds like what _you_ want is that well...” You couldn’t pull a fast one on _my_ Inquisitor. Morrigan then gestured to the Inquisitor for her to follow for a private conversation, which left the rest of us standing awkwardly around. I used the opportunity to ask Solas some questions. _Duh_.

“Hey,” I said to him, pulling him slightly to the side and facing away from Cassandra and Cole. I decided I needed to apologize first. “I’m sorry about before. I was just always curious about that symbol... and I’m sorry about the fight we missed. I totally forgot about those Templars.” I tried to sound as apologetic as possible.

Solas sighed. “Such mistakes cannot be taken lightly, _da’len_ ,” he said to me. “Your pride may be your downfall.” He stared off into the distance dramatically, eyes gleaming with long-felt regret. I knew he was warning me about what _his_ pride had wrought, but I could hardly compare my recent missteps with his _gigantic_ one.

I decided to change the subject. “You’ve seen the elves here...” I said, mimicking what my Inquisitor would say. “Do they seem...  _odd_ to you?”

He looked back at me, raising an eyebrow.

“I mean, you _do_ recognize them, right?” I lowered my voice to a whisper. “As your elvhen? Your _lethallin_?”

Solas looked away, his chin ducking slightly from my view behind his high collar. “Yes,” he said sadly.

“Then—” I started, but was cut off by the Inquisitor signalling to move ahead. We were going through with the rituals.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like to think Cassandra is just this innocent Maker-believer who would be the one asking Morrigan questions about Elven lore instead of our ( _supposedly_ Dalish First) Inquisitor. I know many people had a problem with the fact that the game didn’t give us enough elf race dialogue perks, so I adjusted the game dialogue to fit these circumstances.
> 
> And btw, I really really really hate the AO3 font and can't wait for them to allow people to change it. Sighhhh. It just looks soooo bad with all the italics I use (but I will never stoooop!).
> 
> \-----  
> Elvish translations:
> 
> _da'len_ = little child
> 
> _lethallin_ = cousin, kin


	22. Wolfy Ritual?

We headed to a new chamber that had two lit(? _who lit them??_ ) braziers at its entrance. It contained the next ritual platform in a very shaded area, surrounded by Dread Wolf statues and a giant Fen’Harel mosaic. Lavellan, who had been rushing towards the tiles, stopped at the realization of what was around her. “I don’t know about this one...” she said cautiously, backing away. The alarm in her voice was clear.

I looked at Solas. He was keeping his expression neutral, collected. I leaned towards him, inclining my head slightly. “Can someone else besides the Inquisitor walk the path?” I asked. I wasn’t sure if this “real” version of the ritual would be more exclusive than the game one.

He looked at me, eyes sparked with interest. “Why don’t _you_ attempt it, ‘ _lethallin’_ ?” he sneered at me, the Elvish word in an extra-mocking tone. He was still mad at me then.

I shrugged. It was worth a shot. And I knew I could do it _way_ faster than Lavellan. I walked up the steps beside where she was standing. “I could try, Inquisitor,” I suggested.

She nodded to me apprehensively. “Are you sure? This is...” she trailed off worriedly.

“Inquisitor, we must complete _every_ ritual if we are to finish the petitioner’s path,” Morrigan said botheredly.

Lavellan looked anxious. I touched her lightly on the arm. “Don’t worry, if I do it, only _I_ will suffer the effects, if there are any.” _Which there aren’t._ Right?

“But are you sure?” she asked, still concerned. _Um, yes_.

I shrugged. “You’re the Inquisitor. You need to be protected.” I hopped up the last few steps to the platform without further discussion.

When I stepped on the first ritual plate, I took a moment to gaze in wonderment at the elven magicks that lit up below me. There was a pattern on the tile, intertwining lines that formed a flower-like shape. Examining it closer, I realized it didn’t just glow, but actually little enchanted blue flames emerged within its lines, although they were not harmful or burning in any way. I started the path.

I walked through the tiles deftly, remembering the correct path from my many gameplays. It was the one that had a lever in the middle, too, so it was definitely more complex than the previous ritual Lavellan had done. Since the tiles lit up just as they had for her, I figured it was working.

When I finished, and all the tiles flashed blue with confirmation, I turned to see the group looking back at me in astonishment. They all had this _WTF?_ expression, except Solas, who was glowing with admiration, smiling straight at me. _Solas greatly approves?_ I asked myself. Was he actually proud of me?

“You seem well acquainted with ancient elven practices,” Morrigan observed, emphasizing every syllable of the last three words. The shock on her face was very apparent. “Time to proceed to the next ritual, I should think,” she said after a moment.

We walked together to the next platform. I had to carefully sidestep all the overgrown plants in the temple. I noticed there was some sort of fragrance in the air, a floral scent perhaps? While I was sniffing the air like a wolf ( _cough_ ), Solas whispered to me with a smile, “Perhaps _you_ should be the one completing these rituals.”

I returned a smile. “What was that, anyway?” I whispered back. “A Dread Wolf specific ritual?”

He didn’t respond. When Solas remained silent long enough that I knew he wasn’t going to answer, I hit him on the arm. He looked at me sternly while saying, “We can discuss this later, if you must know.” _Yeah, right_ , I thought. _You’re never gonna tell me._

Inquisitor Lavellan took on the next ritual and was able to do it relatively easily on her own, although not nearly as quickly as I had. We all watched as she would take a step, then stop and carefully contemplate her next move. It was a slow process.

I approached Solas, hoping I could bug him again about the elvhen and the wolf ritual and all that shizz. “ _Solas_ ,” I whispered. He ignored me, focusing on Lavellan performing the ritual. I tugged on his Keeper robes in annoyance, taking a glance at his ensemble. _Was his shirt always such a deep V??_

“ _Please, da’len_ ,” he said, giving me a sharp look. He angled his head towards the ritual, as if it was important to pay attention or something (which it totally _isn’t_ ). I huffed. _Fiiine_.

Since I assumed that Solas had started to ignore me for fear of more Fen’Harel questions, I decided to bother Cole instead. He had been pretty quiet this whole trip.

I found him standing off to the side by himself, staring up at one of the tropical birds that had settled on a tree branch above us. It extended its wings to reveal an array of colored feathers.

“Mockingbird, mockingbird,” he sang softly to himself, “quiet and still, what do you see from the top of that hill...?”

“Pretty, huh?” I asked him, watching the bird.

Cole looked at me. “I like birds. They fly, free, far, fast...”

I nodded in agreement. “Um... Cole? Can I ask you a question?”

His glassy eyes stared at me, waiting.

“Can you hear Solas’ hurt right now?” I asked.

Cole shifted his gaze towards the elf, who was still watching Lavellan do the ritual. “He hurts, he always does… He regrets the ones we killed before, the ones who hid in shadows, they remind him of his own, the ones who can’t remember...”

“Mmm,” I hummed in consideration. “And does he hurt for the Inquisitor?”

Cole nodded. “She’s bright, always shining, saving, soaring... but she doubts, despairs, disgusts... the dread.”

I nodded solemnly, glancing at the elf-god. _Solas is so sad_. Tear.

I looked at the spirit boy again. “Thanks, Cole.” I examined his hair. _His bangs sure are long_.

He tilted his head. “I like my hair, Anna.”

I smiled. “But doesn’t it get in your eyes??” I asked. He shrugged. _Ah, Cole._

The Inquisitor finished the rituals, and we continued through the temple ( _so_ many stairs), until Lavellan stopped in front of something. It was a mosaic of Falon’Din. _Here we go._

“My clan’s hunters asked for his blessing when we fought bandits. Our Keeper taught them the prayers,” she commented, looking over the fine tilework.

“I do not believe they sing songs of Falon’Din’s vanity,” Solas said in a low, foreboding voice.

The Inquisitor turned to him, her teal eyes questioning the hobo. “Do you know any legends?”

“It is said Falon’Din’s appetite for adulation was so great, he began wars to amass more worshippers... The blood of those who wouldn’t bow low filled lakes as wide as oceans.” Solas looked at the mosaic with disdain, his mouth in a strong frown. “Mythal rallied the gods, once the shadow of Falon’Din’s hunger stretched across her own people... It was almost too late. Falon’Din only surrendered when his brethren bloodied him in his own temple.”

“I’m surprised they let such a monster live,” Lavellan said, somewhat sarcastically.

“One does not _lightly_ kill a god, Inquisitor. Even in legend,” Solas said, his tone laced with malice. _Sure_ , I thought, _says a god who was just nearly killed by some total randos a few hours ago_.

“My clan never told a story like that about Falon’Din,” Lavellan said quietly, obvious hurt by Solas’ comment.

Solas answered in the same disdained voice, seemingly unphased by her distress. “The further the Dalish spread, the further their stories branch and grow. _Never_ mistake them for arbiters of _‘true’_ elvhen culture.” _You’re wearing Dalish Keeper robes, by the way. Just saying._

Lavellan remained quiet.

I hit Solas hard on the arm. How dare he speak to Lavellan that way! Doesn’t he _lath_ this woman?? He didn’t flinch from my blow, but looked at me sharply, his eyes warning me. “Lay off the Dalish thing, okay?!” I hissed at him. He just looked away from me, avoiding my contempt.

We turned away from the mosaic and headed towards the now unlocked, glowing blue door. I thought to tell them that there’s some _sweet_ rogue armor if we go the tunnel way, but it wasn’t like that would really benefit me.

“If no one tells her the truth,” Solas said to me quietly, “then she will only continue living through ignorance.” He practically spat it at me.

“ _True_ ,” I said, gritting my teeth. “But at least you could be _nice_ about telling her. Everything she was ever taught has been ripped apart in this temple.”

“ ‘Everything’ is an overstatement,” Solas growled. His eyes were aflame with pissed-off-ness.

“Well, you’ll see once we leave this place,” I said as we waltzed into the next chamber.

Time for some sweet sorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case it wasn’t clear.... sorrow = Abelas. I love me some Abelas.
> 
> And yeah, I think Solas hates Falon'Din. And the Dalish (of course).
> 
> Cole’s cryptic comments: Basically, I figure that Solas seeing Mythal’s sentinels dying makes him feel extremely guilty because:  
> a) they are (now) rare ancient immortals  
> b) they don’t have much choice/are like slaves (debatable I guess, since they probably chose to serve Mythal)  
> c) they perhaps, PERHAPS, remind him of his own sentinels. I mean, if Fen’Harel was a god with his own temple/servants, then he probably had similar beings protecting him/his stuff. And maybe he feels sad because they remind him of how he lost all that due to his Big Mistake.
> 
> As for the Cole’s reference to Lavellan… well, yeah, as a Dalish, _she’s gonna hate the Dread Wolf_.
> 
> \-----  
> Elvish translations:
> 
>  _da'len_ = little child
> 
>  _lethallin_ = cousin, kin
> 
>  _lath_ = love


	23. Vir’abelasan? Vir’abelasan! Ohhhhh, vir’abelasaaaan.

The hall was beautiful, and in much better condition than the rest of the temple had been. All the tiles seemed to glisten slightly in golds and greens, and there were tall marble statues of (bald) elves aiming bows. Our group entered the chamber slowly, taking in the surroundings. Cassandra looked extremely worried, probably because all the beacons were already mysteriously lit.

“ ‘Tis not what I expected. What was this chamber used for...?” Morrigan asked rhetorically, gaping at some of the wall mosaics for clues.

“Parties,” I said stupidly. “Definitely _huge_ parties.” Solas let out a scoffing sound. I smiled at him, but he only looked away, rolling his eyes.

“We’re being watched,” Inquisitor Lavellan warned. I shut my mouth.

Suddenly, Abelas came into view, standing high above us on a platform ( _why was he up there anyway?_ ). “ _Venavis_ ,” he said with cheeky attitude. His armor was quite _form_ -fitting.

He looked straight at Solas, eyes flashing with some sort of recognition. “You have the features of those who call themselves _elvhen_.” He turned his gaze to Lavellan, “You bear the mark of magic which is… familiar.” He observed her left hand with intrigue.

Her anchor flared up in greeny goodness, making me wonder what caused it. Why didn’t it ever flare up around Solas?

“How has this come to pass?” Abelas asked. “What is your connection to those who first disturbed our slumber?”

Lavellan gazed at him in wonderment. By now she realized who these sentinels were. _Ancient elvhen_. “They are my enemies,” she said fervently, “as well as yours.”

Abelas tilted his head slightly, considering her words. “I am called Abelas,” he said. He gestured to the other elvhen in the room. “We are sentinels, tasked with standing against those who trespass on sacred ground...” He began to explain what the sentinels do, and then told us we straight-up can’t drink from the _vir’abelasan_.

Morrigan grew restless, moving around nervously. My Inquisitor considered Abelas’ words. She looked to our resident ancient elf. “Solas, perhaps he’ll listen to you,” she suggested, hoping he could ease Abelas' mind.

It was safe to say, Solas freaked out a little. “What shall I say, Inquisitor?!” he asked her fiercely. “Shall I sway him from a millennia of service by virtue of our shared blood?” _Shared blood?_ I thought. _Giving away a little too much, aren’t you, Solas?_

He glanced sadly at Abelas. “He clings to all that remains of his world, because he lacks the power to restore it.” Solas was about to break into tears. Well, probably not. But it sure hit him close to home.

Lavellan then took it upon herself to explain to Abelas. She turned her head back up towards him, shouting passionately, “Our people have lost everything! They need you. They could _learn_ from you!”

I shot a glance at Solas. He was looking down, guilty as heck. Yeah.  _Yooour fault_.

“ _Our_ people?” Abelas said all douche-ally. “The ones we see in the forest, shadows wearing _vallaslin_? You are _not_ my people.” He pointed a finger at the Inquisitor assertively. _Touchy bastard_. “And you have invaded our sanctum as readily as the _shemlen_.”

Lavellan looked hurt... no, _enraged_. She shouted back at him, her eyes fiery, “We knew this place was sacred. We’ve respected it as best we could!”

Abelas gave the slightest nod. “I believe you,” he said bluntly. “Trespassers you are, but you have followed the rites of petition. You have shown respect to Mythal.”

“She also has Mythal’s _vallaslin_ ,” I commented absently.

Abelas turned his gaze on me, eyeing me curiously. I froze suddenly under his scrutiny, but he soon looked back to Lavellan and continued, “If these others are enemies of yours, we will aid you in destroying them. When this is done, you shall be permitted to depart...  _and never return_.” Abelas made sure to turn the ominous level _all_ the way up.

“This is our goal, is it not?” Solas asked sadly. “There is no reason to fight these Sentinels.” He was saying it more to himself than to anyone else.

“Aren’t you glad we did the rituals, now??” I whispered to Cassandra.

She rolled her eyes at me. “I do not trust them,” the Seeker said. “We know not what they’ll do once the battle is over.”

The Bitch of the Wilds chimed in, speaking to the Inquisitor, “Consider carefully. You must stop Corypheus, yes, but you may _also_ need the Well for your own.” Morrigan sure wanted that _vir’abelasan_.

I piped up. “Ally with them, Inquisitor,” I told Lavellan. “You won’t regret it.”

But she didn’t need to be told that. She didn’t need any convincing at all. Her mind was made up the moment she stepped into Mythal’s sanctum, her eyes shining as brightly as her _vallaslin_.

“I accept your offer.”

Abelas nodded, slightly miffed that we had this whole conversation with him _standing right there_. “You will be guided to those you seek.” He gestured to another room. “As for the _vir’abelasan_... it shall not be despoiled, _even_ if I must DESTROY it myself,” he departed dramatically in one emphatic turn.

“Noooo!” shouted Morrigan (in slo-mo), morphing into a bird in a puff of purple smoke. That crazy witch.

“Morrigan!” Lavellan called.

Solas and I looked at each other knowingly. We knew that Morrigan was trouble.

“Well, no point trying to follow _her_ ,” I said to the Inquisitor. “There’s our guide.” I pointed to the old elven mage lady.

The woman answered with, “ _Mythal’enaste_.”

Lavellan sighed. “That’s helpful, since Morrigan chased off on her own,” she said irritably. _I’m pretty sure Solas would be a better guide than Morrigan, Quizzy_ , I thought to myself.

“She seeks to protect the Well of Sorrows,” Solas remarked.

“Yeah, I think we all got that, Solas,” I said to the hobo snarkily. I took another step and suddenly tripped _quite_ ungracefully. Somehow my leg had gotten caught on Solas’ staff...

I looked up from the ground, glaring at Solas’ back as he continued walking on without me. _Stupid wolf_.

It was Cole who helped me up. “He isn’t angry with you, he’s angry with himself...” he told me quietly.

I stood up, rubbing my legs from the fall. “Are you sure it’s not _Morrigan_ he’s mad at? Because he _should_ be.”

“She turned into a bird,” Cole breathed. _He did say he liked birds_...

Cole and I joined the others in following the hobbling elvhen mage(? I think?). She banged her staff on the ground to open up the secret passage Abelas had vaguely pointed to earlier.

She led us inside, and the companions gasped at the state of the room. Perfect condition. Beautiful, glittery goldiness. A large statue of Mythal stood majestically near a wall, along with an intricate mosaic of the goddess. I traced my fingers lightly along the wall, feeling the tiles. _What did ancient elvhen use to glue them to the wall??_

The Inquisitor appeared beside me, also feeling the wall. “He said elves destroyed _themselves_. Could that be true?” Lavellan wondered, gaping at the intricate gold tile work. She had always believed the Imperium destroyed them. I stole a look at Solas. _Is “everything” such an overstatement now?_ His mask gave nothing away.

“Sleep. Protect. Serve. So little of them left, but still they are afraid to lose it,” Cole said softly. He gazed at our guide.

Cassandra looked around, wide-eyed. “The entire temple must have looked like this long ago... How could the elves put such devotion into this... _nonsense_?” she said insensitively. _You_ do _know the Inquisitor is an elf, right???_

“We can always ask our hosts,” Solas sneered at her.

She huffed. “I will leave that to you.” The elvhen woman banged her staff on the floor in impatience. The companions hurriedly headed off to the next room.

I pulled Solas aside, breaking away from the group slightly as they moved ahead.

“What is it, _da’len_? We should hurry. The sentinels’ numbers are not endless.” He was worried for the elvhen. We could hear them clashing with the Templar on the other side of the wall.

“I know,” I told him. “This’ll only take a sec.” I looked him in the eye. “Did the Temple of Fen’Harel ever look like this?” I gestured around the room. “Does _that_ temple still exist?” I asked in a whisper.

He looked at the others. They had now left our sights. Focusing back at me, Solas said in a low voice, “It was certainly more to _my_ taste.” He gave the slightest of smiles.

Even in all this, Solas had his subtle humor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t know why, but I love how Abelas says vir’abelasan. So much sass.


	24. Samson and Delilavellan

“Where _is_ the temple, though?” I asked Solas. _At least tell me that much!!_

“We cannot linger,” he said, ignoring my question. I supposed it would need to wait for another time.

We quickly caught up to the others; they hadn’t been far ahead.

The next rooms were similar. But one in particular had big, golden statues of Fen’Harel, lying down lazily. _Mythal must have really had a thing for Solas_ , I thought.

I looked towards him again. The Dread Wolf himself was still smiling slightly, perhaps remembering some sweet memory. I glanced at Lavellan. She had bowed her head, closing her eyes. _Was she praying?_

Our guide yelled, “ _Penshra! Ghilas vellathan!_ ” rather rudely. She had hobbled on without us.

“I believe she would _prefer_ that we remain close,” translated Solas. _Samson won’t trigger ‘til we get there anyway_. Although who could say IRL.

We were led through all the secret passages then (including one filled knee-deep with water, _guh_ , now I had soggy boots), until we finally came to a large area that was open to the sky. “The Well of Sorrows!” Lavellan exclaimed dramatically. _Discovered: The Well of Sorrows_ , I thought mockingly.

“So Mythal endures,” Solas commented quietly. I sharply glanced at him. _WTF you saying, wolf?_ He didn’t explain, but just looked towards the eluvian in the distance.

This temple sure was huge. I gaped a little at all the trees and mountainy-rock within the new chamber. What was this place like in its prime? Was it always so integrated with the jungle around it?

I couldn’t contemplate long though, as we had now caught up with Samson. I heard his voice yelling in the distance, and the Inquisitor went marching forward.

We headed down some steps, and I spotted the douche in the floor down below. I let the companions run ahead of me. Solas looked back at me, tilting his head slightly to ask what I was doing.

I nodded for him to move without me. I didn’t need to get in the way of this boss fight. He seemed to understand and headed off with the others. The group all rushed over to Samson, while I sat myself down on the steps. This could be a long battle.

“You _tough_ bastards,” Samson said, looking at some Red Templars. “A day’s march, _hours_ of fighting, and still fierce as dragons. The Chantry never _knew_ what it was throwing away.” _Psh, that’s nothing, Samson_. You should see how long I go when _I_ play.

“Samson! Ser, watch out!” a Templar said to him, pointing stupidly to the Inquisitor and her comrades. Samson turned his sickly gaze in their direction.

“ _Inquisitor_ ,” Samson greeted. “You and those elf-things don’t know when to stop.” Samson really had this villain thing down. _Not_.

Lavellan and Samson exchanged some more affronts: Lavellan told him he’d lost, Samson said how much he loves Corypheus, etc.

And then the Inquisitor destroyed Samson’s souped-up lyrium armor, and he got super pissed and shouted “Kill them all!” They broke into battle.

I watched as the companions fought Samson and his Tempys. Abelas had joined the fight too, wielding a giant hammer thing. _Badass_.

This fight went on longer than any other had in the Arbor Wilds. Although his armor was broken, Samson was still at a pretty strong boss status, and his Red Templar Horrors were also no joke. I watched as my team tirelessly fought, stabbing and blocking. There were clashes of weapons and magicks, bright flashes and loud shouts ( _“You die here, Lavellan!” “You’re nothing!”_ )

Cole kept disappearing for sneak attacks. He sliced their ligaments without pausing, always pleased with the kill. Cassandra would block and jab, swing and slash. Lavellan started using her Knight-Enchanter blade again, slashing at Templar and getting Horror blood on her pretty face and white hair. I shuddered, thinking of what it must feel like. _Nasty_.

Solas was maneuvering his staff beautifully. I was starting to see what Iron Bull meant about his perfect casting. He swung the staff around his body, different lights spouting out of the tip of it. I watched as he channeled energy through his whole body, not just his staff, with bursts of electricity exploding from his chest and honing in on a target. He was also covered in ice armor, but hardly needed it because when a Templar approached, attempting to attack, he would skillfully Fade Step to another area, evading it. Sometimes he took a vial from his belt; a lyrium potion. It must be exhausting, fighting like this.

It was hard for me to keep my eyes off of him. I was worried he might fall again. I prepared myself to jump in at any time, in case he needed a healing potion. My fingers hovered over the ones in my jacket, ready to rush to the rescue.

I supposed it was due to this concentration that I didn’t notice a Red Templar approaching me. When I saw him, it was too late to run away or hide. He was coming straight for me and _only_ me.

_Shit,_ I thought. I tried to run anyway. I bounded up the stairs behind me, adrenaline pumping through my veins. I was pretty sure palm thrusts wouldn’t work on _that_ thing.

I patted my jacket for the blade Cole had given me. Finding it, I grabbed it out of its sheath and readied it for the stab. It was the only defense I had.

I kept running, but the Templar soon caught up to me. He grabbed at me, slashing my back with his claws. I could feel the talons rip through my hunter coat like it was paper, cutting deep into my flesh. _Fuuuuck!_ It hurt like _hell_. An intense pain I had never felt in my life.

I crumpled forward from the blow, dropping my blade and falling face-first on the stone steps. The pain in my back was so severe, still burning throughout my body as if poisoned ( _was_ I poisoned??). I could barely move, but I tried crawling up the steps as much as I could. I had to get away.

The Templar wasn’t finished with me. His giant mutated hand grabbed me by the neck, choking and raising me up to his eye level. He brought me around so I could see the face of my killer.

If you would even _call_ it a face. It was so gross and red lyrium-ed up, his eyes glowing with crimson fury and his teeth like vicious, jagged fangs. He let out a ferocious, menacing snarl, and his mouth dripped with some sort of sickly goop. Yep, I was gonna die.

But something crashed into his body. A giant fist from the Fade. It punched him down, throwing me from his grasp. I tumbled down a few stairs, each hit bringing a new aching agony, before landing on my side, the wind now knocked out of me. I gasped and gasped and then looked up to see Solas, his face twisted with rage and pain.

He knelt down beside me, surveying my wounds, his eyes wide. “Can you move, Anna??” he asked hopelessly, tenderly touching my arm.

“No,” I coughed up. There was the taste of blood in my mouth. I stared up at his face, completely unmasked for once and filled with grief. His face had little splatters of blood on it. And his eyes had tears.

The pain was so excruciating, it made the world feel hazy. Everything was slipping, starting to cloud. My vision turned black. I could feel myself falling away...

I was doing it. I was returning to _my_ world.

“No, hold on!” a voice shouted in the distance. A cool liquid was flowing down my throat. The taste of elfroot (not the _greatest_ taste, mind you, almost like kale).

The world came rushing back, and my eyes fluttered open. Solas was no longer kneeling beside me, but standing nearby. He was wielding his staff again, finishing the fight. I felt a little revived, but the pain still lingered.

Guess I had a lot of HP, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Would_ Solas tear up from seeing Anna, even if he knew he could heal her? I believe the guilt of seeing her in that state, since he brought her to the Temple in the first place, would make him sad enough to do so.
> 
> Hee.
> 
> Also, I originally had it where a Fade boulder comes down on the Templar, but then I was like _nahhh_ Solas would veil-punch that guy.


	25. Well, well, well, Abelas...

“Not the Well, you wretch!” I heard Samson plead. “You can’t take it from Corypheus. You musn’t...” _He is such a Corphy fanboy._

Solas had kneeled beside me again, the battle now over. His hands were fluttering around my back, mending the wounds as he had done to himself in the Arbor Wilds. “You _must_ learn some defense, _da’len_ ,” he said worriedly.

I could feel the pain subsiding, my head was starting to clear. “The Well...” I mumbled. “Should the Inquisitor or Morrigan drink from it?”

“What did you say?” Solas asked, alarmed.

“Of the two... who do you think should drink from it?” I sat up slowly. Solas had finished mending me.

“It does not matter; Abelas will surely—” he evaded, shaking his head.

“No,” I shook my head, closing my eyes briefly before asking, “Who should drink?!”

He glanced back at the group. They were running up Abelas’ makeshift stairs to the _vir’abelasan_ now, following the elf and Morrigan. He turned back to me, panicked. “ _No_ one should drink of it.”

“ _Please, hahren_ ,” I begged, shaking my head again.

He pulled me to my feet and exhaling sharply, studying my face. He closed his eyes briefly before resignedly saying, “Then—Morrigan. If someone must drink, it should be her.”

I pulled on his Keeper robe with both hands, gazing fiercely into his eyes. “Then you _have_ to stop the Inquisitor. She _will_ try to drink from it.” Regardless if I was playing her or not, _this_ Lavellan—with her Mythal _vallaslin_ and constant prayers to the god—would _definitely_ want to drink.

Solas nodded and then Fade-Stepped the both of us to the others by the Well (such a useful ability). Abelas, the Inquisitor, and Morrigan were at a standoff, eyeing each other heatedly over the _vir’abelasan_. Cassandra and Cole were there too (chillin’).

I noticed there were several other eluvians surrounding the Well, although they were much smaller than the main one. Where did those mirrors lead to? Would whoever drank from the the _vir’abelasan_ also become the key to those? Or were they just random mirrors for the elvhen to admire their thick thighs in? I had to ask Solas later.

“The elf seeks to destroy the Well of Sorrows!” Morrigan exclaimed. She kept shifting her eyes from Abelas to the Well.

Abelas looked at the Inquisitor, his gaze brimming with mistrust. “So the sanctum is despoiled at last.”

“You would have destroyed the Well _yourself_ , given the cha _w_ nce,” Morrigan said. _Morrigan’s voice is the best._

Abelas narrowed his eyes on the witch. “To keep it from your grasping fingers!” he pointed angrily at her. “Better it be lost than bestowed upon the undeserving!”

“Fool!” Morrigan spat. “You’d let your people’s legacy rot in the shadows!”

“Enough,” the Inquisitor said tiredly to her.

“You cannot honestly—” Morrigan began.

Lavellan glared at her. “I said, _enough_.” She was getting sick of Morrigan’s shit, too.

The witch sighed, closing her eyes for a moment. “The Well clearly offers power, Inquisitor. _If_ that power can be turned _against_ Corypheus, can you afford _not_ to use it?” _I bet we_ could...

Abelas shook his head, his brow furrowing with impatience. “Do you even know what you ask?” He turned sadly towards the _vir’abelasan_. “As each servant of Mythal reached the end of their years, they would pass their knowledge on... through this.” He gestured to its waters.

He turned back to Lavellan. “ _All_ that we were. _All_ that we knew. It would be lost _forever_.” Dramatic, much?

The Inquisitor looked upset. “It’s better that knowledge remain in the Well?” she said angrily towards him. “Look around you. Everything our people were, it’s already gone!” _Quizzy’s right, bro_.

Abelas looked down sadly, his armor glimmering in the sun, “It is.”

Solas spoke suddenly, grabbing everyone’s attention, “There are other places, friend. Other duties. Your people yet linger.” The wolf almost had a smile on his face.

Abelas looked towards him skeptically. “El _vhen_ such as you?” he asked.

Solas sighed slightly, but looked Abelas straight in the eye. “Yes. Such as I.” _Boom_. 

I looked around at everyone else. _Anyone else get that? Like hellllllo??!?!_ Friggin’ nobody did.

Abelas contemplated Solas’ words for a moment. “You have shown respect to Mythal, and there is a righteousness in you I cannot deny.” He eyed Solas (because he’s a _god_ ) pointedly before turning towards the Inquisitor. “Is that your desire? To partake in the _vir’abelasan_ as best you can to fight your enemy?”

“Not without your permission,” Lavellan said, her eyes vying for his approval. She wanted an ancient to recognize her. Little did she know of the one who already had (and was in her pants every night).

Abelas only turned away and said, “One does not obtain permission. One obtains the _right_.” He began to walk away. _So cool_.

Abelas then stopped and abruptly said, “The _vir’abelasan_ may be too much for a _mortal_ to comprehend.” He turned back to us. “Brave it if you must, but know you this: you shall be bound forever to the will of Mythal.”

“Bound?” Morrigan scoffed. “To a goddess who no longer exists, if she ever did?”

“Look _around_ you, Morrigan!” I shouted without thinking. Everyone turned their heads to me (even Cassandra and Cole, who had pretty much been zoning out). I cleared my throat, feeling awkward from the sudden attention. “Look at this place, this temple, these elvhen. Whether Mythal existed or not, it doesn’t _matter_.” I gestured to the Well. “The evidence is overwhelming; there’s ancient magic within those waters, and it is strong from _millennia_ of gathered power. _Mil-len-ni-a._ And no power comes without a price. It _will_ control you. Power _always_ dominates and corrupts,” I told her heatedly. This witch needed to know her place.

The entire group was shocked by my monologue. I don’t think they had ever heard me sound so competent before. Morrigan and Lavellan were the most taken aback, utterly speechless. Solas touched me lightly on the arm. “ _Da’len_ ,” he whispered. His eyes had a proud glint.

Abelas tilted his head, his gaze shifting between Solas and me in intrigue. “This _shemlen_ speaks truth.” He turned back to Morrigan. “The _vir’abelasan_ will bind you, as we are bound. The choice is yours.”

“Is it possible Mythal still exists?” the Inquisitor asked desperately. She had to know for her people: would the gods return and save them all?

Abelas looked curiously at her, his eyes glancing over her _vallaslin_. “Anything is possible.”

“ _Elven_ legend states that Mythal was tricked by Fen’Harel and banished to the Beyond,” Morrigan interjected. I rolled my eyes at her. _This again?_ She was like a Wikipedia page with no verified sources.

“ _‘Elven’_ legend is wrong,” Abelas sneered. “The Dread Wolf had nothing to do with her murder.” I nudged Solas discreetly at the mention of this. _Hey, hey!_ He remained perfectly still, not giving any sign of recognition. His gaze was transfixed on Abelas again.

“Murder? I-I said nothing of—” Morrigan stammered.

Abelas rolled his eyes. “She was slain, if a god truly can be. Betrayed by those who destroyed this temple.” He glanced at Solas again. “Yet the _vir’abelasan_ remains. As do we. _That_ is something.” _It most certainly is._

“Are you leaving the temple?” Lavellan asked. Did she want to go with him?

Abelas shrugged. “Our duty ends. Why remain?”

Solas spoke out suddenly, but gently, “There is a place for you, _lethallin..._  if you seek it.”

A silent communication seemed to pass between the two ancients. Abelas nodded ever slightly, saying, “Perhaps there are places the _shemlen_ have not touched.” He looked back at Lavellan. “It may be that only _uthenera_ awaits us. The blissful sleep of eternity, never to awaken...  _If_ fate is kind.”

“Then _where_ are you gonna sleep?” I asked him. I mean, come on! He just said he was going to leave the temple, where was he gonna go for _uthenera_??

Abelas turned to me, somewhat annoyed. “That is not information I need to impart.”

I shrugged. “Whatever,” I said under my breath.

“Thank you for this gift, Abelas,” the Inquisitor said quietly, trying to pretend like I hadn’t said the rude comment.

“Do not thank me yet, _shemlen_ ,” he said to her. _Ooohhh, burn._ He turned to leave.

“ _Malas amelin ne halam,_ Abelas.” Solas said. The sentinel nodded solemnly before heading off. “His name. _Abelas_ means sorrow,” Solas explained, then turned to the group. “I said—”

“I hope he finds a new name!” I interrupted, smiling that I had beat him to it. I practically had this whole scene memorized.

Solas rolled his eyes, annoyed at my disruption. He had wanted to look cool.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for all the straight-from-the-game dialogue. Kinda boring, but it feels wrong for me to change too much :(
> 
> Elvish translations:  
>  _da'len_ = little child  
>  _shemlen_ = quickling, mortal  
>  _lethallin_ = cousin, kin


	26. Bath time!

Morrigan cocked an eyebrow at my outburst of Elvish translation, but soon turned her attention to the real prize: The Well of Sorrows. “You’ll note the intact eluvian,” she sighed. “I was correct on _that_ count, at least.”

“Yeah, but nothing else,” I remarked. The corner of Solas’ mouth tugged up slightly in a smirk. Morrigan shot me a stern look.

The Inquisitor gazed into the pool. “Is it still a threat? Can Corypheus use it to travel the Fade?”

Morrigan reached out towards the _vir’abelasan_. “The _Well_ is the key. Take its power, and Mythal’s last eluvian will be of no more use to Corypheus than glass.” _Bitch, how you know that???_

Morrigan couldn’t take her eyes off its water. “I did not expect the Well to feel so… hungry,” she said softly. I looked at the Well, trying to feel what she meant. _Nope_. Nothing.

“Don’t go any closer, Morrigan,” the Inquisitor warned.

“I am willing to pay the price the Well demands. I am also the best suited to use its knowledge _in your service_ ,” she said desperately to Lavellan.

Solas rolled his eyes. “Or more likely, to your own ends.” He _reallllly_ didn’t like Morrigan.

Morrigan’s gaze heatedly turned towards him. “What would you know of my ‘ends,’ _elf_?” she barked.

I shook my head at Solas, knowing his next response. _Don’t do it, don’t you do it!!!_

Solas fumed. “You are glutton drooling at the sight of a feast!” He shook his bald head angrily. “You cannot be trusted.”

I grabbed Solas by the arm, and he looked down at me. I lifted my eyebrows in the air. _You’re only confusing Lavellan, you wolf idiot!!_

He seemed to understand my facial expression. A panic reached his features. _Stupid egg._

Morrigan continued to plead. “Of those present, I _alone_ have the training to make use of this. Let me _drink_ , Inquisitor.”

“ _You_ alone? This is _my_ heritage!” Lavellan said hotly.

Morrigan opened her mouth to respond, but Solas cut her off, “We should take the power which lies in that well, _vhenan_. But you should not take the risk.”

The Inquisitor gazed at him, confused. Some tears had gathered in her eyes.

Morrigan was surprised at Solas’ remark, but recovered quickly and said, “I have the best chance of making use of the Well... for _everyone_. Let me drink.”

Lavellan looked at Solas. “If not me, then you should be the one, Solas. This Well is of _our_ people,” she begged.

Solas shook his head. “No, _vhenan_. Do not ask me again.”

I hit him. _Give her something better than that!_

Solas jerked at my attack and said quickly, “The Well will bind you to the will of Mythal.” I sighed. He needed to do more.

Inquisitor Lavellan shook her head indignantly. “Have you not _seen_ my _vallaslin_? I am already bound! Mythal is _my_ god. Only _I_ have the right to drink from the _vir’abelasan_.” She turned herself towards the water.

 _Fuck_. This was going badly. I had to intervene. “Inquisitor, wait!” I shouted. She turned to look at me. “We need you,” I pleaded. “The world needs you to lead the Inquisition. It is the only force that can stop Corypheus... and we cannot risk you being controlled by an elven god.”

She narrowed her eyes at me. “You know _nothing_ of Mythal.”

“ _Vhenan_ ,” Solas cut in. “She is right. Mythal is a protector, but she is also... vengeful. We do not know what her will might entitle.” He took her hand. “ _Please_. Let Lady Morrigan drink.”

She shook her head again, tears in her eyes. “Solas, I...”

It was probably only Solas and I (well, Cole, too) who understood what it meant to her. This was her one chance. Her one chance to _truly_ be connected to her goddess. To gain the knowledge so long lost by her people...

He nodded. “I know it is a great sacrifice. But it is what’s best.” He put his hand gently on her chin and said softly, “I know you can do this.” _Ooohhh_. He was playing the Solas Approval card. _Nice one_. Now if she drank, she would know his disappointment.

Lavellan took a deep breath. “Morrigan, it’s yours.”

Morrigan practically cannonballed in, that witch was so eager. She submerged herself completely in the Well _._ _That ain’t no bathtub, honey._

I looked at Inquisitor Lavellan. She looked so distraught. I nudged Solas, who had been watching Morrigan intently. _Do something, stupid_.

It was obvious that Solas didn’t like PDAs, but he made an exception this time. He wrapped Lavellan into his arms, and whispered something into her ear. I saw a tear fall down her cheek.

But the tender moment was soon broken by the Well exploding its holy water all over the place. I made sure to open my mouth when it happened to lap up what I could. _I could use some knowledge_ , I thought (didn’t get any though).

The magicks seemed to clear, and we all stared into the Well. Morrigan was passed out flat on her back, just like the glutton Solas had pinned her for.

Lavellan put her Inquisitor face back on. “Are you alright?” she asked Morrigan.

Morrigan started sputtering out some random Elvish and then claimed to be okay. Just had a lot to “sift” through. We all had a little chuckle. _Silly, Morrigan! You had us worried sick!_

Okay, maybe _I_ was the only one who laughed.

We noticed some sort of magic-y, poofy, electric-y dust coming off of her though, and Solas and I took a few steps back (Cassandra and Cole had been chillin’ well away in the corner this whole time, mind you). Strangely enough, the magic seemed to twist itself around Lavellan as well...

“Daaawww!!!” was the (kinda lame) sound from Corypheus behind us, who had _finally_ showed up to the party. _Guess you had trouble with those rituals, huh, Cory?_

He started flying right at us though, so we had little time to move. Luckily, I had slowly been inching myself near the eluvian, so I only had to wait for the blue light to start glowing to jump in.

And, right on cue, Lavellan’s entire body illuminated, becoming the key to the mirror. “The eluvian!” Morrigan shouted, and we all ran like hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry if you wanted Anna to drink from the Well... honestly, it was hard for me to imagine that the Inquisitor or Solas would let her willingly, and they would both end up being pretty pissed with her, and it sort of messes with the basic story I have outlined for the future.........
> 
> Elvish translations:  
>  _vhenan_ = (my) heart


	27. The mirror, the witch, and the bathtub.

We entered the Crossroads, as Morrigan had deemed it to be called. I looked around, slowing my speed to a walk. It was really misty, but I could see the spherical branches of elven trees, and large buildings looming in the distance. And there were eluvians everywhere, standing in every direction as far as I could see.

“ _Da’len_ , we must hurry! It isn’t safe here!” Solas shouted back at me. They were all far ahead of me now, with Morrigan leading the way.

“It _is_ safe, Solas,” I called back to him. “Corypheus can’t get in. The mirror cracked!” I pointed back to Mythal’s eluvian. _Plus isn’t Lavellan the key anyway??_

He stopped running and cursed silently. He gestured to the others to go on without us. Fade-Stepping towards me, he said wistfully, “Another elven relic lost...”

The group was far out of earshot now. “What were those buildings for, _hahren_?” I asked him, pointing to the architecture in the distance. “Did people used to live here?”

He smiled bitterly at me. “Almost all elvhen traversed this place. It was once as bustling as a capital city. Naturally, shops and eateries opened here, warranting some to take up residence.”

I looked at one of the buildings. It had remnants of giant arches, slowly crumbled away over time. The architecture looked massive, towering in the distance. I imagined what it was like, brimming with life and magic thousands of years ago. “I wish I could have seen it,” I said, my eyes wandering to a tree.

Solas smiled at me. “Let us go, _da’len_.” He Fade-Stepped us back towards the others, and we were the last to run into Morrigan’s eluvian.

I tripped a little falling back into Skyhold, landing on the stone floor on my knees. “Ow, fuck!” I shouted aloud, causing the group to all glance at me. Solas helped me to my feet. “That was pretty crazy, huh?” I said awkwardly to the companions, trying to play off my clumsiness.

Lavellan only stormed off, not saying a word to anyone. I pushed Solas to go follow her. “And don’t you dare fucking break up with her!” I called after him. He looked back at me with an eyebrow raised, confused by my statement, but continued to pursue her.

I looked around, noticing Cole had disappeared as well. Morrigan was still a little loopy from the Well, muttering things to herself. “The shrine... I must go to the shrine...” she said quietly.

I gestured to Cassandra to look at the witch, swirling my finger around my ear in a _she’s crazy_ fashion. The Seeker didn’t get it. I guess they don’t have that expression in Thedas...

With the Inquisitor gone, no one had orders to do anything, so I said to Cassandra, who had been walking back to her quarters, “We should probably let the advisors know we’re here, right?” She nodded in agreement, heading off in a new direction now.  
  
Satisfied that I had done my part, however lazy it had been (I mean, it’s not like I had tried to reach them _myself_ ), I decided to go visit my favorite homosexual Tevinter.

I walked through the courtyard garden, earning several whispering glances my way. I sighed. _I know you guys are talking to me!_ Everyone just looooved to gossip here.

I noticed Skyhold hadn’t changed much from my arrival. All of the upgrades had been completed before my arrival it seemed. It was kind of weird, how many people lived here. I assumed these people stayed in the many rooms in the castle. Skyhold was like a town within itself.

I huffed my way up the many stairs, taking note of the absent Solas in the bottom of the rotunda. _I wonder what he and Lavellan are talking about_.  
  
“Dorian!” I exclaimed, finding him sitting in the library in a comfy armchair. He looked up at me, and his expression instantly changed to one of horror, dropping the book he was reading in the process.

“ _Anna_?! _Maker’s breath_ , what has happened to you? You look like absolute _hell_.” He was shocked.

I looked down at the hunter coat I was still wearing. _Oh yeah._ I was covered in my own blood and had forgotten that I nearly died. Solas’ healing was _that_ good. The only pain that lingered was from the klutzy bruises on my knees. _That explains all the pointed whispers..._

“Heh,” I managed, unsure of what to say. “I guess I should clean up.”

Dorian nodded. “I hope you’re alright?” he asked me, picking up his book again.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I said, waving his concern away. “Got patched up real good.” I turned to leave, but just before doing so, I took a quick glance over the balcony. Old habits die hard.

Solas and Lavellan were now standing there in his study, talking to each other. “What will you do with the power of the Well once Corypheus is dead?” he asked Lavellan below me.

I pulled away from the railing, not wanting to hear more. This was the conversation that lead to the break-up scene... I had to act fast.

I ran to my quarters.

 

*****

 

One of the shittiest things about living in Skyhold was the baths. As I had learned on my second day here, there was only one on my floor, and bathing took _ages_.

Since I was no mage, I had to light a fire to heat up the water. _A fucking fire_. At least I could proudly say I was boy scout material now.

Soaking in the tub, I scrubbed away at the blood residue of my former wounds. There wasn’t even a scar on me. _Thank you, Fen’Harel!_ I thought.

Thinking of Solas made my stomach suddenly twinge. _I have to stop that stupid hobo from dumping her_. I rested my head on the rim of the bath, premeditating my words.

 _“Stop being a scared-ass bitch, Solas, and tell her the truth!”_ I sighed. If only I _could_ tell him that. But he might try to strike me with lightning or something. _He doesn’t like being yelled at._

Suddenly Cole appeared and it made me yelp in surprise. “Cole?!” I shouted, trying to cover up my private parts. “What are you doing here??” He was squatting right on the rim of the bathtub.

Cole didn’t react to my confusion and simply asked, “Where is my knife?” He tilted his head slightly, blinking at me.

“Huh?” I asked stupidly. And then I remembered the dagger Cole had given me. “Oh… I’m sorry, Cole. I dropped it during the fight with Samson,” I explained.

He looked off into the distance, staring into space. “It was the blade of the Velvet Dreamer, he liked to talk...” Cole said eerily.

“I’m sorry,” I repeated. _What was this crazy spirit saying?_ I thought back to the blade. It _had_ looked a little funny... almost like two talons connected with a beautifully ornate hilt...

And then the realization dawned on me. I had dropped a purple-level unique dagger. It had _definitely_ been rare. And I didn’t even have a chance to pawn it. _Damn_.

“The wolf is hurting,” Cole said suddenly, bringing my attention back to him. “He’s confused, conflicted, cold...”

“Solas is?” I asked, straightening up a little.

His glassy eyes were full of worry as he sat perched on the edge of the tub. “You have to help. You have to help his hurt before he hurts her.”

“Okay, well... I’m still taking a bath right now, so... maybe you should try to talk to him in the meantime?” I suggested, still trying to shield myself from his spirit-eyes.

Cole shook his head, his big hat flopping from the movement. “He won’t listen to me, he thinks I say anything to help, even if it isn’t right... But he listens to you.”

 _He does?_ I nodded. “Just let me get dressed, okay?”


	28. Don’t you dare do it.

“Solas!” I burst into his study loudly, making the elf jump. He was standing near his desk, gathering random stuff together.

“Anna,” he said, smiling at me when he saw who it was. He was absolutely beaming.

“Um,” I hesitated. He was a lot happier than I had expected...

“I’m taking _vhenan_ on a short excursion. We shouldn’t be long, so you may speak to me after.” He continued packing up a couple of things, and I noticed he had already changed out of his Keeper robes.

I shook my head. “No,” I said. “After would be too late.”

Solas paused, tilting his head slightly. “What is it?” he asked me, an eyebrow perked up in intrigue.

I lowered my voice and edged closer to him, placing my hands on his table. “The Inquisitor really loves you, you know,” I told him, eyes narrowed.

Solas laughed. “Yes, I am aware.” He studied me curiously, a half-smile on his lips.

“Then you should know that she will trust you with anything. You can _tell her anything_.” I raised my eyebrows in suggestion.

He smiled again, laughing slightly. Placing his hands behind his back, he leaned towards me and whispered, “ _I know_.” He had a strange, complacent look about him...

_Oh, dear_. He was thinking he’s going to tell her the truth. His secret identity, finally revealed.

Solas continued to pack his bag, placing random items in it. Vials of things… lyrium potions? I wasn’t sure. He laughed a little to himself. “She told me she would use the Well to restore what was.” He turned to me, smiling even brighter. “Can you believe such a woman like her exists?”

I had never seen Solas this happy. He was radiant. His face was even slightly flushed, the tips of his ears pink.

“She _is_ amazing,” I conceded. “And strong. I’m serious when I say you can tell her anything.” I grabbed Solas by the arm, making him look me in the eye. “She _will_ accept you.”

He nodded, and I let him go. He was still smiling, although it was much smaller now. He was tying his pack now, fastening some buckle.

“You don’t have to be scared,” I told him, my voice as serious as death. “You can trust her... and yourself.”

His lips turned into a thin line. “I will see you when I return from Crestwood, _da’len_.” He practically ran out the door after that, taking his bag with him. I was then alone in the rotunda, unable to tell him anymore. _Guess that will have to be enough._

 

*****

 

I watched as he and Lavellan rode off through the gate, not even bothering to glance behind them. _Yeah, bye to you, too_. I guess I shouldn’t expect much.

I was pretty tired from all the crazy business at the temple and thought a good, hard a-drinkin’ was what I needed. I headed towards the Herald’s Rest.

I was pleasantly surprised to find Iron Bull and Dorian _together_ in the tavern _._ _Heh heh heh_.

“Hello, boys!” I exclaimed behind them, wrapping my arms around both their backs as best I could ( _Bull is_ _huge_ ). “Buy me a drink?” I asked slyly, sticking my head between the two and wiggling my eyebrows.

“Ah, if it isn’t Anna the Beggar! I don’t believe I’ve _ever_ seen you pay for a drink before,” Dorian remarked, giving me a smirk.

I smiled and sat down next to him, patting him lightly on the back. “That’s because I don’t have any money!” I said cheerfully.

“Yes,” Dorian agreed, taking a sip of his drink. “Hence the name _beggar_.”

I ordered an ale (I was strangely getting used to them...) from Cabot and asked him to put it on Iron Bull’s tab. The dwarf looked to the Qunari for assurance.

Iron Prinze, Jr. only laughed, saying, “Yeah, yeah, give her what she wants.”

I giggled with delight. “ _Thank you_ , Bull!” I said in a cutesy voice.

“What are you doing here, anyway, kid? Where’s Solas?” Bull asked.

I shrugged. “Off with the Inquisitor. I’m not _always_ with him.”

Iron Bull and Dorian looked at each other knowingly. They both burst out laughing at the same time.

“ _That_ has got to be greatest deception anyone has ever told herself,” Dorian said into his glass, taking a drink.

I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, whatever.” Cabot handed me my drink. I took a sip. _Bleh_. The first taste was always the most shocking.

“Why _do_ you spend so much time with him, anyway?” Dorian asked me. Clearly he had been wondering this for a while.

I shrugged again. “He’s fun.” _And an elven god_.

Dorian and Bull laughed again in unison. “You’re a riot, kid!” Iron Bull exclaimed, taking a big swig.

“Fun?” Dorian asked, one eyebrow cocked in the air. “An old bald elf who only talks of the Fade?”

I laughed at the image. I pictured Solas hunched over with a cane, shouting to himself about the good ol’ days in the Fade. “He’s really funny,” I defended.

“I suppose he has his moments,” Dorian hesitantly agreed. He took another sip of his sure-to-be-expensive alcohol.

Iron Bull laughed. “A young human girl, with no magic ability whatsoever, only hangs around an elf apostate because _he’s funny_.” He shook his horned head. “You’re one of a kind, girl.”

_I couldn’t agree with you more_. I was definitely one of a kind in Thedas.

We all took a sip of our respective drinks. Dorian took a breath. “ _Like_ I was saying before we were so _rudely_ interrupted by this plebeian,” he said, gesturing vaguely to me, “I am glad that the Inquisition was successful in disrupting Corypheus’ plans, _yet again_.” He raised his glass in the air. Bull and I clinked it in cheers.

“Yeah, except for that witch went _wading_ into a Well of _Sorrows_ ,” said a pippy voice behind us. We all turned to see Sera, standing behind us with her hands on her hips. “Who hears _that_ and thinks, ‘well, dunk a butt, let’s have a go!’ ”

_Um, nobody, Sera_. _Nobody thinks that_. “What does that even _mean_?” I asked her, eyebrow raised.

“It _means_ ,” Sera said, sitting down in a stool next to me, “that all that messing with those relics is just demon bait. It’s _real_ stupid!”

I rolled my eyes at her. “You think Mythal was a demon?” I asked her, annoyed. _You’re a friggin elf, Sera. Get over it._

“That’s what it had to be!” Sera exclaimed angrily. “There _can’t_ be a buncha gods _and_ the Maker. Those don’t fit. Mythal is a ruin _full_ of demons.”

I resisted the urge to smack her. She was insulting Solas’, Lavellan’s, and her _own_ heritage. I was glad that hobo wolf wasn’t here to hear it. “But all that history... What if some of it _is_ true?” I asked her, trying to reason.

She shook her head at me. “No, now you’re stupid. You can’t think that, because it’s _stupid._ ” _Gah, so difficult._

“I was _there_ , Sera. You didn’t see shit, so how would you know?” I said bitterly, tossing back some ale.

Iron Bull and Dorian looked at each other, eyebrows raised. _Cat fight_.

“You’re not even an elf!” Sera exclaimed. “Why you bein’ so damned... _elfy_?” She gestured to Cabot to give her a beer.

Bull laughed. “Have you not seen her usual hang-out partner?” he asked, turning to Sera (the fucking _elf_ ).

Sera rolled her eyes. “Oh right. _That_ tit.” She shook her head disapprovingly at me. “You can’t let ‘im put these stupid ideas in ya head. _Elfy_ elves are just the sore losers of history.”

“Main takeaway,” Sera continued, “we got really weird power, and we can throw it at Coryphy-whatever.” When the dwarf handed her a glass, she raised it in a toast. “Fighting _shite_ with shite! It’s like poetry, or something, I don’t know. Get the bard on that!”

The argument was over then. I kicked her chair anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Sera was scarred when she was young about being an elf or whatever, but damn, have a little sensitivity, right??
> 
> Soooo yeah, guess we won't find out how Crestwood goes until next tiiiime!!!


	29. Pride Cookies

A few days later, Cassandra and I were sitting in the upper courtyard. I was sitting on the wall, my feet dangling precariously over the ledge to the Skyhold lower entryway. Cassandra was in a much more practical spot, leaning against the same wall.

We were discussing the latest chapter of _Swords & Shields_. We had started a little book club over the series.

I was eating some cookies I nipped from the grand hall. My mouth had some crumbs on it when I said, “But _I_ believe Aveline will always be loyal to her late husband. It _has_ been a few years, sure, but the way she…” I trailed off. A pale, bald head caught my eye in the distance. It was Solas returning from Crestwood. _Alone_.

I jumped up. “I’m sorry, Cassandra! We’ll have to continue this later!” I grabbed my copy of the chapter and ran down the steps towards the Skyhold entrance.

The Seeker rolled her eyes at me, shaking her head. “Aveline _belongs_ with Donnic!” she called after me.

Solas was putting his mount away at the stables. I rushed up to him, asking, “Where is Lavellan?!”

He looked at me sadly. “Not _now_ , Anna.” He turned to walk in the direction of his study.

“No,” I said, shaking my head. “You _didn’t_.” After all my advice? He broke up with her _again_? For the billionth time!!

I followed him right at his heels. “But I _told_ you she would accept you! She would love you no matter what!” I said to him, attempting as best I could to keep my voice low. Was it just inevitable?

Solas said nothing, only continued to walk towards his study. I followed him helplessly, cursing myself for not preparing him better. _I could’ve prevented this_.

When we reached the rotunda, Solas fell into a distraught pile on his sofa. He sat with his elbows on his knees, face in his hands.

I sat next to him. I felt so angry. At Solas, at myself, at this whole situation. Would it _never_ work out between them??

I thought of poor Lavellan, broken and alone, her _vallaslin_... I realized I didn’t know the outcome of her Mythal markings. “Did you remove her _vallaslin_?” I asked Solas quietly.

Solas didn’t look up, his face still buried in his fingers. “Yes.” It was hardly intelligible; he had barely breathed the word out.

I laid my head on the back of the couch, closing my eyes. Silent tears fell from them, slipping slowly over my cheeks. My unfortunate, beautiful Inquisitor, dumped by the one she loved and trusted so much. _Fucking Solas._

But I didn’t say anything. I knew, I could tell that he was hurting and heartbroken as well. We sat in silence for a long time. He had been so happy just a couple days ago... It was awful how quickly things had changed.

“I couldn’t tell her,” he said finally, removing his hands from his face and leaning back into the sofa. “She was so beautiful,” he whispered. “Her eyes...” Solas exhaled deeply, staring off into the distance.

I studied him closely. He was a broken man. “Why did you do it?” I asked him. “Surely there is a way for you two to be together?” I said hopelessly.

He shook his head, eyes closed. “No,” he said decidedly. “There is no other way.”

I looked down at my hands. I was still holding Varric’s book and a stupid cookie. “Why _not_?” I begged. “Even if she found out, she knows you have been helping this whole time. She _loves_ you. She _will_ forgive.”

“I know,” he said quietly, still not looking at me. “But I must complete my duty.”

I scoffed. “Your _duty_ ,” I said bitterly. “She can _help_.”

He shook his head again, and, looking me in the eye this time, said, “No, _da’len_. She cannot. I must do this alone.”

I sighed. There was no getting through to him; he was too distraught to reason with. I looked again at the cookie in my hand. “Want a cookie?” I asked tiredly, offering it to him.

He smiled ever so slightly. The weakest of smiles. “No, thank you.”

I took a bite, thinking over the break up cinematic again. The way his expression changes so drastically as he pulls away... “Why _is_ it so important to release the gods?” I asked softly. Why did he have to give up everything? Would unlocking them really make the world better?

He stood up suddenly. “How can you even ask me that?” he said under his breath, his tone incredulous. Solas stormed out of the rotunda, leaving me to myself.

I took another bite of the cookie. It tasted dreadful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The titled is inspired by [the story Sera tells](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vxxrMaCOh8M) about her guardian lying to her about the baker hating elves, only to cover up the fact that she actually never baked those cookies herself...
> 
> Angst, angst, angst. Stupid Solas. (although I know many of you wanted this to happen anyway...)


	30. Gurlll Talk

It had been a few days since Solas had returned from Crestwood. He refused to talk to me, no matter how much I pestered him. I only stopped trying when he actually _yelled_ at me. “Can you not bother someone else?!” he shouted. He exhaled sharply, then said quietly, “I will not ask you again.” I gave him some space after that.

I had been trying to talk reason into him, trying to convince him that he was wrong, but Solas always countered so well I couldn’t argue. He was one smart hobo.

The day after The Breakup, Lavellan came back, her face bare of Mythal’s tree. She looked like a shell of her former self, weakened by a broken heart. I could commiserate acutely, knowing every word Solas had told her in that grotto. What a _dick_.

The Skyhold companions were annoyingly quiet, not mentioning what happened to the two elves. I supposed they thought it was for the best; people usually didn’t want to bring up their pain. But _fuck_ that. I was gonna comfort that Gurlll.

I thought about telling her all about Fen’Harel myself. Even if Solas ended up killing me for it, it would be worth it. She _had_ to know.

But would she believe me? I had witnessed her prayers in the Temple of Mythal, her recoil whenever a Dread Wolf statue was seen. She might know now that some of the stories about him are lies, but would that be enough to negate her lifelong belief of him being evil?

She had snapped at me at the Temple when I tried to convince her not to drink. Only Solas could persuade her. _He_ had to tell her the truth. He was the only one. She didn’t trust me, and I had to accept that.

I walked my way to her quarters, knocking on her bedroom door. She didn’t answer, but I opened it regardless, since everyone else in Skyhold always does that anyway (there were no locks in this fortress, by the way... and yes, WTF. _Put in some fucking locks, people!!_ ).

I found her lying on her bed, wrapped up in a fetal position. At first I thought she was asleep, but when I came closer she said quietly, “What do you want?” She was a mess.

“Hey Gurlll, I heard what happened,” I told her gently, sitting on the bed and trying not to think about Ryan Gosling. “Solas is an idiot.”

Lavellan seemed to flinch at his name. She pulled at the covers around her, clutching them closer to her face. “He told me...” she said quietly, “... he was distracting...” She sobbed a little. Only her little head peeked out beneath the sheets, her white hair matted to her now-bare forehead.

I nodded. “He’s distracting you from your duty? Yeah, he told me, too.”

Lavellan started sobbing loudly. “He just tells you everything! He tells you more than _me_ ,” she said angrily into her pillow. She was refusing to look at me.

_Oh, shit_. Was the Inquisitor jealous of me? Did she think I knew more that she did? (Well, she was _right_ )

She must have felt even worse if she thought Solas confined more in me than her... even if it was true. But the circumstances of our relationship were different: I alone knew his secret identity, which he had begrudgingly accepted. He could never be open with Lavellan until she knew too.

I had to ease her mind. “No, no! I mean, I just asked what happened between you two, and he told me that it was for the best because of your duties and stuff.”

Lavellan cried some more, as if hearing me saying it again cut a fresh wound. I was _really_ bad at this comforting thing. “I’m sorry, Inquisitor,” I told her. “I just came to say, Solas is an idiot. And an ass. And _old_.” I banged my fist emphatically on the mattress. “He thinks he _knows everything_! He thinks that only _he_ knows what’s right and makes selfish choices because of it.” I furrowed my brow in anger, just thinking of how cruel it was to leave someone without their input, not even giving them the dignity of an explanation.

Somewhere along my rant, Lavellan had stopped crying. She even sat up, blinking away some tears and trying to look at me. Her face was extremely red, her eyes bloodshot. Even her pointy ears looked pink.

“He’s a selfish bastard,” I continued, my face set in determination. “And since he’s so old, he’s stuck in his ways. It will take a long time for him to be able to see his mistake in breaking it off.” Solas was just a stubborn old man.

The Inquisitor swallowed, looking at me strangely. “How _old_ do you think he is?” she asked, somewhat confused.

“I dunno,” I shrugged, “but pretty fucking ancient.”

She laughed somewhat, looking out a window. It was a bitter, sarcastic kind of laugh. “He didn’t even really explain why.” She turned her gaze on me. “He just said he _can’t_.” She was upset, but at least she had stopped crying for the moment.

I nodded. “I think he’s just psychologically messed _up_ ,” I said, leaning towards her and tapping a finger to my skull. “Be strong, Inquisitor.” I looked into her red-rimmed eyes. “And know this: you are _better_ than him.” She was fearless, pragmatic, and just. She had to know that there was nothing wrong with her, it was all just him.

“ _Better_?” she scoffed, turning away. She thought a moment, shaking her head slightly. “Please leave,” she said quietly, lying back down in the bed.

I nodded, standing up. “Don’t let him control your life.” _Girl power!_

Lavellan didn’t respond, but only stared blankly out a window. I left the room.

I was gonna _kill_ that hobo.

I marched to the rotunda, determined to confront Solas. He wasn’t there, though, so I went to his quarters instead. I busted through his door and found him sitting at his table. He had a book open, but it didn’t look like he was reading it, just staring off, lost in thought.

“Solas,” I said under my breath. I clenched my hand into a fist, ready to punch. I didn’t have any fighting skills or strength, but if I surprised him enough, I might do some damage.

He turned to look at me. I had expected him to be angry, like he was the last time we had spoken. But his eyes were sad, and slightly disappointed. He turned back towards his book. “Yes?” he asked softly, sounding defeated.

My hand relaxed. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t punish someone who was already punishing himself enough. Especially Solas. Because most of me wanted to hug the stupid elf.

I noticed he had painted one of the walls in his room now. It was a beautiful city, with glowing roads and columns that sparkled with runes. Crystals intertwined within trees... places floating among clouds...  _Arlathan_. What was lost. A reminder of his mission.

I walked slowly over to his side, examining his face. He was so depressed, he didn’t even bother to hide it like he normally did. He even looked paler than usual, if that was even possible. I sighed.

“What if...” I started. He looked up at me, his expression the _definition_ of melancholy. “What if you pretended I was Lavellan, and practiced telling _me_ the truth?” It was silly idea that had just popped into my head. Maybe if he said it aloud, he would realize that she _could_ learn the truth. It wouldn’t be the end of the world, it didn't have to end his quest.

He exhaled, exasperated. “Anna, how many times do I have to _tell_ you? There is no _point_.” He closed his book in a dramatic gesture. He got up as if to leave, walking towards the door.

“You don't have to ever actually do it!” I said, rushing to his side. “It could just... make you feel better. Help you understand.”

He looked at me gloomily. “What is there to understand? That she would accept me? Or reject me? The outcome does not matter; I will do this _alone_.”

At that point, I was sure that his “alone” referred to me standing there as well, saying,  _Can you leave me the fuck alone now?_ But I persisted regardless.

He started opening the door to the corridor to leave, but I slammed it shut with both my arms. “I’d like to discuss what happened _before_ , Solas,” I said desperately, imitating my Inquisitor.

He turned to me, slightly confused. “I have already told you: there is nothing to talk about.” He tried to push me aside.

I shook my head, placing all my weight against the door as I now leaned against it. “It would help me if you could explain why,” I said, somewhat breathlessly. He was still trying to force the door open.

Solas shook his head, incredulous, pushing me away again. “I _have_ explained it to you, Anna.”

I clutched his tunic to try to prevent his exit. “Anna? I am the Inquisitor?” I asked, tilting my head as if I was confused.

Solas sighed in frustration, stopping momentarily. “I am not playing your little game.” He started pulling on the door handle.

“Why?” I asked, upset, and still pressing my body against the door. “Because the answers would only lead to more questions? An emotional entanglement that would benefit neither of us?!” Yeah. I had it memorized.

Solas paused, turning to face me. “Emotional entanglement? _Da’len_ , I—” He was very confused.

I shook my head fiercely. “My _name_ is Gurlll.”

He sighed. Solas thought for a moment, looking at me in disbelief. “The blame is mine, not yours,” he said quietly, conceding to my act and turning away from the door. _Muahahaha._ “It was irresponsible and selfish of me. Let that be enough.” His back was to me now.

I shook my head, grabbing his arm. “It’s not enough. Tell me _why_. _Now_.”

He jerked away his arm, backing away from me slightly. “I _can’t_.”

I grabbed both his arms this time, making him face me, shaking him slightly. “You _can_.”

He sighed, closing his eyes. “I am not who you think I am.”

“What do you mean?” I tilted my head in fake-confusion again. “You’re Solas.”

He shook his bald head. “I have deceived you.”

I released him, shaking my head, as if I was not believing what I was hearing. “Then...  _who_? _Who are you_?”

He exhaled slowly, observing and taking in my crazy act. “Have you heard the legends of Fen’Harel?” he ask quietly.

I stepped backwards, taken slightly aback. “Yes, of course, but... what does that have to do with—?”

“It is said he walks among us...” He looked me sharply in the eye. “And he stands here before you.”

“I—I don’t understand,” I pretend-stammered. “Are you _possessed_ by him? Did the Dread Wolf take Solas’ body?”

He shook his head. “No, Solas and Fen’Harel are of the same being. I created the apostate facade to help the Inquisition.” He took another deep breath, looking towards the floor. “The Breach was my fault.”

I fell down to my knees. Solas immediately kneeled next to me, alarmed that I was so into my acting. “I can’t believe... all this time... it was _you_ ,” I sputtered out.

He nodded slowly, examining my face cautiously. “Yes,” he said faintly.

“But _why_?” I looked up at him, tears forming in my eyes.

Solas’ eyes widened, confused at my real-seeming emotion. “I... I was foolish,” he said slowly. His eyes were darting all over my dramatic expression. “I thought I would be able to release the other gods... I thought Corypheus would...  _Da’len_ , are you alright?!”

I shook my head. “I just can’t believe... I thought I knew you...”

“I know,” he said quietly. He stood up, pulling me with him. “I don’t expect you to trust me enough to stay in Skyhold.”

I shook my head, grasping at his tunic. “No,” I said. “Even if this...  _crazy_.” I looked into his eyes. “I still... love you. _Please stay_.”

He put his hand on my face, softly touching my cheek. My heart suddenly started to race. His eyes were searching my face, confused, and looking for answers. He drew himself closer to me, leaning in ever so slightly. It felt like he was going to kiss me. _Was my acting that good??_

“I do not think she would respond like that,” he said softly. He dropped his hand, walking away and turning his back to me. “Can we stop pretending now?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Solas actually playing along?? Is this a ridiculous chapter or what? Honestly, I don’t think Solas would tell Lavellan this way, and he’s probably just saying these things to shut Anna up.
> 
> What would _you_ say to Lavellan post-breakup?
> 
> If you don’t get that Ryan Gosling reference, just Google his name and “hey girl.” _You’ll see._


	31. The Place of the People

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Solas and Anna have a serious debate.

Ever since they broke up, Lavellan had refused to take Solas on any quests, much to the hobo’s dismay. _Serves you right, ya jerkface_. Instead, she headed off to Emprise du Lion with Cole, Cassandra, and Vivienne, who had been wanting to check out some Circle tomes or whatever anyway. Everybody wins!

Except for, of course, the intense heartbreak of a miserable Inquisitor and her stupid, wolf-god ex-boyfriend. _But let’s not think about that_.

As a result, Solas was left sulking in Skyhold by himself, heavily worrying after her, with only me to annoy him. And, no matter how many times I told him, “you _know_ , you _could_ just say you’re sorry, tell her the _truth_ , get back _together..._..” he would always just shake his pointy-eared head.

“But I _know_ you want to...” I leaned towards him, lowering my voice to a whisper, “It would be _sooo_ easy...”

“Have you somehow become a Desire Demon now?” he asked, aggravated. “I’ve never encountered a human as persistent as you.”

Even _I_ was getting sick of repeating myself, so unfortunately, I had to give up on getting them back together for a while. He was a lost cause. He refused to reconsider his choice, and in turn, threw himself into studying ancient-y whatever and painting like a madman. Let’s just say, the Temple of Mythal portion of the mural had a _lot_ more covered-up mistakes from his berserk swishing.

One evening though, I got a new idea of how to convince him. Not finding him in the rotunda, I knocked on his bedroom door. No response. “ _Hahren_?” I called through the wood. When he _still_ didn’t respond, I opened the door cautiously.

He was sitting at his table, reading again. I closed the door behind me and sat down at the other side, scooting the chair in so I could put my elbows on the tabletop. “Can I talk to you?” I asked timidly.

He still gave no recognition of me, only continued to stare down at the tome, his hand propping up the side of his head, the other idly turning a page.

“I was just curious about something, that’s all,” I continued quietly. “I’m not going to talk about Lavellan, I swear.”

Solas sighed. “What is it?” he asked faintly, still looking at his text.

“What do you miss most about Elvhenan?” I asked him earnestly.

He raised his gaze to mine, measuring my expression. He looked so worn and somber. He turned his attention to his mural of Arlathan and pondered a moment before responding. “The magic,” he replied, his voice slightly raspy. “The magic that was always present, forever in the air; breathing, living, effortless.”

“Sounds lovely,” I commented, examining his face. He seemed the slightest bit revived by my question. The distraction was probably welcome.

“It was.” He looked down again, turning a page in his book. I thought he had continued to reading, but then he said, “And the cultural mentality of immortals.”

“Oh?” I said, perking up in interest. “How so?”

He met my gaze again, and I saw the spark somewhat return to his eyes. The spark he always got whenever he was able to impart knowledge on those willing to learn. “ _Shemlen_ today are hurried and careless, causing inaccuracies and mistakes in their lifework,” he explained. “In the time of Arlathan, immortals had eternity. They were patient and meticulous, achieving perfections beyond the dreams of any Thedosian today. Life was devoted to details.”

I nodded, smiling a little. "But... wouldn’t immortality just make people complacent? Like, ‘I can always just do this later, so no point in doing it now’?”

Solas leaned back in his chair, chuckling lightly, and his face warmed dramatically. “A fair point,” he commended, now intrigued by the discussion, “and such a mindset affected many. However, it did not inhibit the brilliant few.”

I smiled, happy to see him more like himself. “But surely...  _surely_ people were less passionate?” I suggested. “There’s no _rush_ with immortality, no drive, no compulsion... nothing to make you live in the _now_.”

Solas leaned forward towards me. “Do you think _me_ dispassionate, _da’len_?” he asked, giving me a small sly smile.

I flushed a little. “Um, no, but... I can’t really say...” I mumbled awkwardly, his quick change in temperament surprising me.

He sat back in his chair, looking smug. “Although time was endless, essentials for survival were still needed, so passion was never absent.” He looked me pointedly in the eye. “Although I see your argument. _Shemlen_ do seem intensely more excitable.”

I examined him closely, narrowing my eyes. “Don’t you think it’s _somewhat_ appealing, though? To be mortal? To live each day as if it’s your last? To make bold choices because you know you’ll never get the chance again?”

Solas looked away, the darkness in his expression returning again. “I have made plenty of bold choices in my life to tire of their allure, _da’len_ ,” he said tiredly.

I raised an eyebrow. “Are you saying you’ll _never_ be bold again?” I asked, trying to push past his gloomy new mood.

He turned back to me, his eyes grim. “No,” he answered, “but I understand its peril. Action without thought is one of life’s greatest dangers.”

I crossed my arms, leaning back in my chair. “You can be bold and still _think_ before doing acting.”

“Of course,” he replied, looking away again. “But it is seldom the case.”

I examined him a moment, contemplating my next words before finally saying, “I’m sure _you_ thought hard before you locked them away.”

He looked back at me intensely, upset that I had brought up his Great Betrayal, even though I knew he had been thinking about it already on his own. “But my passion and pride were what _made_ me bold enough to act, not my rationale nor expertise,” he sneered bitterly.

I exhaled, looking him straight in the eye. Solas was on edge, but I knew I had to keep pushing. “Isn’t it _bold_ to release them again, to bring them back? Isn’t it _still_ about your passion and pride?”

He looked at me offendedly, incredulously. “It is not _about_ me,” he argued, his brow furrowed in anger. “It is about righting a wrong. Mending what should have never been broken.”

I shrugged, still holding my ground. “How are you so sure? How do you know it was wrong?”

Solas was indignant now. He sat up rigidly in his chair, gesturing wildly. “Look at the People, _da’len_. They became slaves, outlaws, shadows. They lost their magic, their immortality, their _history_. How can _you_ see this and not believe it wrong?”

I nodded, but still held his gaze. “Maybe it was just meant to be.”

He rolled his eyes, scoffing at me.

“Maybe,” I continued, leaning towards him on the table, “it was the _only_ possible outcome. Maybe the People _had_ to suffer in order to rebuild a better society. Maybe they would have lost it all even _with_ the pantheon still there in power!”

He closed his eyes, touching a hand to his face as if the conversation pained him. “That seems unlikely,” he murmured.

I continued anyway, completely unphased. “Although immortal, elvhen were still among _shemlen_. Humans, dwarves, Qunari... they were growing in population, too. Isn’t it true that spending time around them caused the elves to grow older, to age? Maybe becoming mortal was just the way of the world, with or without the gods there to stop it. Maybe Thedas _itself_ destroyed Elvhenan. An inevitability through evolution.” _Is there such a concept of evolution in Thedas?_

Solas was silent a while, contemplating my words. He moved his hand to his mouth, tapping his fingers on his chin. “I will not deny the logic in your statements,” he finally said. “But regardless of what would or would not have been, one man alone selfishly deciding the fate of an entire race for his pride... is _wrong_.”

“Or maybe it was the only _right_ , the best thing to do,” I countered, eyeing him carefully. I laid my arms on the table, resting my chin on them and tilting my head. “Maybe it saved a lot more lives than he thought... Maybe he prevented a much longer, bloodier war between _all_ races in Thedas, as the struggle for power would have been much greater.”

He didn’t respond, just looked tiredly at a wall instead.

“The elves today need help, _hahren_. Everyone can see that.” I got up and walked over to him, placing a hand lightly on his shoulder. “But I don’t think you need to chide yourself as much as you do.”

He exhaled sharply in disbelief. “You can only say that because you have not lived in the time of Elvhenan,” he said quietly, looking at floor now.

“No,” I corrected. “I can only say that because I _live_ in the time of Dragon Age.” I kneeled beside his chair, looking up into his face since he wouldn’t do it voluntarily. “Just _look_ around you, _hahren_. Look at the Inquisition. I have no doubt that Arlathan was magnificent in beauty and magic and technological advances and all that, but would you ever see something like the Inquisition there? Would you see so many races, cultures, _people_... working and living together? This is the living embodiment of a united Thedas.” We stared intently into each other’s eyes now. “I don’t think that would have been possible in Elvhenan, at least without the elvhen losing some of their power.”

Solas huffed a dry laugh. “You continue to impress me with your exceptional wisdom, Anna.”

“Thank you, _hahren_.” I placed my hand on his. “But it was you who inspired me to open my eyes.”

He smiled weakly at me, but said nothing.

“I still want to help you with your quest,” I assured him, “but I wanted you to understand my point of view.”

He raised a hand to my chin, gazing into my eyes. “Thank you, _da’len_. Your perspective is enlightening...” His thumb lightly caressed my cheek, “... and _beautiful_ ,” he breathed.

His eyes were lit with wonderment as they poured into mine. And I could have _sworn_ there were tears pooling in them. I smiled at him and stood up. He was tired, physically and emotionally, and he needed to rest. “ _Dareth eran’en, hahren_ ,” I told him softly.

He nodded silently, still staring at me.

I left his room. Maybe I couldn’t mend his relationship with Lavellan. But at least I could mend his heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *exhales slowly* Thank you for reading all that, and let me explain a bit (or a lot...):
> 
> I started this chapter with the intent of exploring more of Arlathan, as well as getting Solas’ feelings on his lost home... but as I kept writing, it turned into some debate about whether the Dread Wolf’s deeds were really wrong or not, and if maybe they were necessary for a better future of the world as a whole, even if the elves had to suffer (but maybe that suffering was inevitable anyway).
> 
> And the “heart” she’s referring to at the end is not his vhenan necessarily, but more like his Elvhenan, the place in his heart and memory where he holds his people, and the intense guilt that motivates his duty.
> 
> I was also very inspired by [this video by Lady Insanity](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_9hQtmBhuk). I’m sure Solas sees these things and understands them, but he’s so stubborn sometimes, I really do wonder.
> 
> Oh, and “dareth eran’en” is Elvish for “sleep safely,” according to [Geeky-jez’s tumblr](http://geeky-jez.tumblr.com/elvish).


	32. Poke Her Face

Solas continued to be depressed, although he no longer outright rejected my company. I didn’t push him any more on the morality of his past decisions, or even the state of Thedas today. He was still strong in his resolve to complete his mission, but my words _had_ shaken him, and, coupled with his breakup, he was a right mess. But after a couple weeks of this melancholy, I was tired of his attitude. _Your depression is self-inflicted, damnit_. The least he could do was act like his normal, calm hobo self.

He _still_ wouldn’t voluntarily offer conversation, and he only spent time in his quarters or his study. It was like books had suddenly become the greatest thing in the world to him because _all he ever did was read_. He acted like he was fine, but his cycle of emotions remained the same: tired, sad, a little angry, depressed, tired. It was _endless_.

"You wanna go to the tavern with me, _hahren_?” I asked Solas one night, giving him a sly smile. He was sitting at his desk in the rotunda, reading some old book on artifacts.

“No,” he said, not even looking up at me. “That would be an inappropriate use of time.”

“ _Please_ , Solas,” I begged. “It would be fun! Plus, I need you to pay for me. I don’t have any money.”

He looked at me sternly. “That is hardly my fault,” he said, turning back to his book.

“Come on! We won’t be there that long. You can teach me Diamondback or something,” I suggested.

Solas laughed mockingly. “I doubt _you_ could learn the game _quickly_ ,” he said harshly. I knew he was just teasing, but man, what a _douchey_ thing to say.

“Fine... then I’ll find _someone else_ ,” I huffed, slowly walking away.

“A far superior plan,” he commented, still looking down at the book.

I tried another tactic. “You _know_ , I hear the Inquisitor’s been seen with Iron Bull quite a _lot_ these days,” I said, staring at Solas intently.

He glanced up at me briefly, but then returned to his book, _pretending_ to continue reading. I crept closer to his chair, putting my hands on one of the arms. “There are rumors that he ties her up, making her scream _all_ sorts of things...” I whispered deviously.

“ _Fenedhis_ , you will never stop.” He sighed, closing his book. “If it is so important to you that you feel the need to invent ridiculous stories, then I suppose I will accompany you.”

Heh, _too_ easy. “How do _you_ know if it’s true or not?” I asked him. He didn’t answer. _Been keeping tabs, huh?_

Solas reluctantly followed me to the Herald’s Rest. Along the way, I picked up Varric, who was always in the mood for a good boozy time.

The three of us walked happily ( _okay,_ _maybe not Solas_ ) towards the bar, with Varric and I discussing who else we should invite. “Let’s just see when we get there,” the dwarf said, brushing me off. I was a _little_ too excited.

Varric wasn’t all too warm towards Solas, making the situation kind of uncomfortable. As we walked, Varric confronted him. “I don’t get you, Chuckles,” Varric said bitterly. “What you did to the Inquisitor...”

“You _know_ ,” I said, desperately trying to change the subject. “I once knew a dwarf and an elf who were _best_ friends.”

Varric lifted an eyebrow, staring at me. “Okay...?”

“They hated each other at first, you know. Couldn’t stand each other because of their cultural differences and prejudices and what not,” I continued. “But then they found out that even if they weren’t all that alike, they both had lost the ancient homes of their people.”

“And so they became _‘best friends’_?” Varric asked in disbelief.

“Uh-huh,” I said, walking along the stone path. “They started making all these bets about who could get the most kills and stuff.”

“Violence is a means to an end,” Solas cut in. “It is not a game for gambling with lives.”

“Yeah, I _know_ ,” I said, rolling my eyes, “but I was just _saying_. Gimli and Legolas found common ground and became friends over it. They respected each other.” Yep, I was referring to _Lord of the Rings_.

“ _Wait_ ,” Varric said. “ _Those_ were their names?” he asked. “Where were they _from_?”

I shrugged. “I dunno, someplace remote I guess. I never found out.” _Because I never actually met them, cough._

“How did you know this elf and dwarf?” Solas asked incredulously.

I stared at the tavern ahead, shrugging. “I just met them when I was travelling once. They were transporting a ring or something.” _Heh heh, maybe that was too much_...

“I see,” Solas said, still not believing me. “An intriguing story, Anna. Are you suggesting that Master Tethras and I overcome our differences to become _‘best friends’_ as the pair you once knew?”

I shrugged again, turning to him. “Why not?”

“Your optimism is admirable, _da’len_ ,” Solas said quietly to me.

“Nice story, Sleepy, but it’s not our ‘ _cultures_ ' that bother me.” Varric said. The dwarf was still pretty pissed at Solas.

_So touchy, these two._

 

Once we were inside, I looked around eagerly. Bull was there, as usual, and to my unending delight so was Dorian. I scanned the room some more, my eyes stopping on a pair sitting. _Yes_ , I thought. _Perfect_. Cullen and Josephine were there playing cards.

I walked towards the advisors, gesturing to Iron Bull and Dorian along the way to join us. When all of us had unified together, there was an awkward silence.

They were all glaring at Solas. Nobody besides me had spoken to him for weeks. Everyone knew he had broken Lavellan’s heart, stolen her _vallaslin_. They were all on her side, and he was the villain. So it was a good thing _I_ was there.

“Let’s drink!” I exclaimed excitedly, guiding everyone to a large table to sit at. Solas sat at the end of the table next to me, with no one else on his other side. The group was keeping their distance from him.

Iron Bull went to get a round, and I jumped up to help him carry them. Everyone got an ale, except Dorian who was drinking wine (the snob). I handed a frosty tin mug to Solas. “Drink up!” I told him, giving his glass a clink and winking at the elf.

He observed the liquid, a sour expression on his face as he sniffed it. I smiled in anticipation as he took his first sip.

His expression instantly repulsed the beverage, his eyes widened in anger at me. _You have betrayed me_ , his glare said silently.

I laughed. “Pretty good, huh?”

He swallowed bitterly. “That is a gross inaccuracy,” he said quietly.

I laughed again and glanced around the room, my eyes stopping on a hairy, brawny figure hunched over in a corner, trying to hide his face... I skipped over to him.

“Blackwalllll!” I shouted, making him jump. I gripped the warrior on the shoulders. “ _You can’t hide foreverrrr_ ,” I sang. Dragging him by his coat, I brought him to the group. “You can sit next to _Josephine_ ,” I told him, gesturing to an empty seat beside her. He settled in next to her. _Huhuhuhu_ , Matchmaker Anna on the job.

As I sat back in my chair, I noticed Cullen had moved to the seat next to mine. And he was _not_ wearing his furry armor, but a simple jacket, tunic, and breeches. “Cheers!” I said to him, tapping his glass with mine. He smiled, and we both took a sip.

“What were you two playing, anyway?” I asked Cullen and Josephine.

“Wicked Grace,” the ambassador answered. “ _I_ was winning,” she said smugly, cupping her glass with both hands.

“Let’s all play!” I suggested excitedly. _I wouldn’t mind seeing Cullen naked_ , I thought pervertedly. Why _was_ he so bad at this game?

“Do you even _know_ how to play?” Solas asked me bitterly.

“Nope,” I said simply, ignoring his tone. I turned back to the others. “Will you guys teach me?”

Josephine nodded eagerly. “Yes, it is a pretty simple game!” She taught me the rules, with a few others chiming in their input. It was pretty much the same as poker, and, unbeknownst to these chumps, I was _wicked_ good at poker. _Heh heh heh_.

“It’s important to keep a straight face now, kid,” Varric warned me. “Otherwise everyone will know your hand.”

I nodded innocently. “I _think_ I get it!” I said, smiling.

We started our first game. Everyone was reluctant to let Solas join, knowing his tendency to mercilessly beat Blackwall at Diamondback, but I wasn’t having him left out. So the eight of us jumped in, with Josephine dealing just like the game cinematic.

“Solas, can I borrow some coin to bet?” I whispered to the wolf.

“No,” he said bluntly. _Whatever_ , that hobo probably didn’t have any money _anyway_.

“Dorian!” I said to the mage sitting across the table from me. “Can I borrow some money?”

Dorian rolled his eyes. “If you have no coin, then you have to find _other_ ways to bet, sweet Anna.”

 _Gah_. I looked around the table, eyes begging anyone else to give me some coppers. Everyone kept their purses closed, laughing at my indignity. “Fine!” I said, giving in. “I will bet my _clothing_ then, but I’m _only_ gonna take it off if I lose!” I resolved.

Iron Bull laughed. “Who said you had to bet _that_?” he said, smirking at my statement.

My face flushed a little. “Well, I don’t have anything _else_ , now do I?”

He shrugged. “There are ways,” he said slyly. He and Dorian shared an evil-y laugh.

 _What? Like prostitution??_ “I’m just gonna bet my clothes, okay!” I told them. And the game began.

It was a good thing I _was_ broke though because it certainly made me play harder. There was no _way_ I was gonna strip for these NPCs, no matter how much they would’ve enjoyed it.

And, like I had thought, I was pretty damn good at Wicked Grace, but I couldn't say the same for my companions. Varric, despite having warned me about keeping a straight face, was strangely easy for me to tell that he was bluffing. He had bet just _too_ many a coin, and I noticed his phony-confidence. Dorian and Bull hardly seemed serious at all, throwing nearly all their money on the table, smiling without a care.

Cullen was adorably bad, hesitating too much and shifting his eyes nervously. _No wonder he lost so easily_. Solas and Josephine were excellent, as predicted, and Blackwall not so bad either... but I... I was _good_. My mother and I used to play poker constantly in my childhood, so at a young age I had developed notable skill in keeping a straight face. At least when card games were concerned.

I played innocent at first, not betting more than my boots. The gang seemed to think I was nervous, so they let it slide. But after a couple of rounds, I had them by the hook, completely unaware of my strategy. I slowly continued to win a round here and there, acting like happiest, luckiest girl in all of Thedas. "Oh, wow!  _How_ did that even happen??" I took the humble winnings shyly. Solas narrowed his eyes on me though, highly skeptical.

The next round I decided to act like the previous one had made me overly-confident, betting lots of money. The whole table slowly started betting more and more, egging each other on to be as daring as Innocent Anna. They all thought they could beat me easily like some fool.

But eventually, shifty eyes and higher stakes made players fold left and right, and soon, it was just me and Solas remaining in the round, eyeing each other suspiciously. That elf was _really_ friggin’ good at keeping a poker face.

I looked greedily at the pot, which was mounding with silver and copper coins. It was the biggest one yet since the companions had foolishly bet nearly all their coin. Solas was very watchful of my plotting though, and had yet to fold like the rest. He pushed some more coin into the mound, forcing me to match it or quit.  _I gotta beat this stupid wolf_. I bet the rest of my coin, but came up short. "And my entire outfit too!" I proclaimed. _That was probably more than_ his _bet, right?_ The group all looked at each other with raised eyebrows.

Solas studied my face, determining his next move. His eyebrow lifted casually, the corner of his mouth raising in a smirk. But then, he suddenly changed in attitude, and his expression turned annoyed. “Fold,” he said defeatedly. I had won the pot.

“Ahahahaha!” I laughed maniacally as I scooped up my fellow companions’ hard-earned money. I had hustled them good; _no stripping required_. “Play again?” I asked excitedly, glancing around the table.

The group was apprehensive, now that it was determined that _two_ really good players were amongst them. “Perhaps... another time,” Josephine said uneasily. I could tell she had really taken a hit to her ego.

I felt slightly guilty, so to lighten the mood, I suggested, “How about I buy us another round with my winnings?” I stood up from my seat.

The sore losers all agreed appreciatively, save one. “I do not require another,” Solas said coldly. He rose to leave.

I grabbed him by the arm. “ _Then help me carry the drinks_ ,” I told him through clenched teeth. He sighed exasperatedly.

I lugged him towards Cabot, ordering six ales and two wines this time. Proudly dropping some coins into the dwarf’s hand for the first time (I had never paid for anything before), I handed Solas a glass of wine. “Just stay and drink this, please?”

He looked at me agitatedly. “ _Da’len..._ ” he cautioned.

“ _Drink it_ ,” I said threateningly. I glanced at the bard near the center of the room. “ _Besides_ ,” I told him, smiling with one finger pointed in the air, “I have an idea.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Of course_ , the only way Anna makes money is through gambling. I haven't actually played poker for like ten years at least so apologies if it's confusing (aka I confuse myself).
> 
> How did Anna beat Solas at Wicked Grace? He let her win, because he didn’t want her shamefully stripping in front of everyone :)


	33. Anna Was Never

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How karaoke was invented in Thedas...

I shuffled Solas back to his seat, and then noticed another companion had joined our group: Sera. “Thanks for the _invite_ ,” she said sorely, crossing her arms.

“You would’ve just lost money, anyway,” I sneered at her, but then smiled. “You wanna drink?”

“Course, yeah?” she said, returning a grin. She was always down for some alcohol. I walked back to Cabot and ordered another one for her, paying for it even though I didn’t have to.

As I brought the ale back to our table, I noticed that the conversation of the group had started to quiet. It was getting kind of late, and a lot of the tavern dwellers had already headed off to bed. The companions were beginning to tire, but I wasn’t having any of that.

I approached the bard, who was starting to pack up her things. “Hey,” I greeted. I had had a few beers by then, and my body felt warm.

She looked at me, surprised. “Hello?” she said.

“I have a proposition for you.” I smiled drunkenly at her. “Do you have a book of all your bard songs? With like the lyrics and stuff?”

She raised an eyebrow at me and took out a little journal-sized booklet. “I always keep it with me,” she explained. She handed it over to me, curious to what I would do with it.

I flipped through some of pages, giggling at its contents. “Okay,” I said, looking up at her. “Would you be willing to play while someone else sings? I’ll tip you!”

She looked confused, but shrugged. “I was finished for the night, anyway.”

“Awesome!” I exclaimed giddily, then skipped my way quickly over to Cabot. “Do you mind if I sing a song in the tavern?”

He gave me a deadpan stare, until finally shrugging in permission. _He doesn’t give a shit_. The plan was all set.

I moved to the center of the tavern, holding the songbook in my hand. “Ahem!” I cleared my throat dramatically, grabbing the attention of the room and my companions. “Ladies and gentlemen of Skyhold! Tonight, I will be singing ‘Sera Was Never,’ a song written by...” I looked down at the book, gasping at my discovery. My eyes shot up, looking at the group in disbelief. “... _Varric Tethras_.”

The companions all turned to the rogue dwarf, looking for confirmation. He chuckled awkwardly. “ _Sometimes_ I write songs!” he defended.

I laughed, and then nodded at the bard. She started strumming her instrument, commencing the melody.

I began to sing “Sera,” glancing down at the lyrics whenever I couldn’t quite remember the words. The NPCs first looked at me in awe, shocked that I had randomly started singing in front of the whole room.

I even danced along to the words, making gestures as if I were pulling the string of a bow. I _definitely_ was not a good singer, but my showmanship seemed to make up for it, as the companions soon started clapping and laughing at the ridiculousness of it.

Encouraged by their entertained faces, I became a little braver in my performance, busting out some old music video moves I had learned from my high school days. I was definitely feeling the effects of the ale now. The alcohol had warmed me to the tips of my fingers, making my whole body feel hot.

Dorian whistled and laughed. Iron Bull clapped his hand on his knee, joyful tears running out of his eye from laughing too hard. Josephine was shaking her head, covering her hand with her mouth to quiet herself. Cullen was wide-eyed at first, but eventually starting to laugh, and Blackwall just looked utterly confused, bushy brow furrowed, but I noticed a small smile underneath all that hair.

I could hear Sera asking loudly, “Is this song ‘bout _me_?” Varric shrugged in response, laughing. The companions were all enjoying themselves.

And Solas... Well, whenever I glimpsed his way, his eyes would be intensely studying me. They were following my every movement, keenly observing the curve of my body as I danced. It was a little freaky, but I tried not to pay much mind to it. _The show must go on._

When I finished, the group enthusiastically applauded me, with even some of the other tavern goers joining in. I bowed theatrically, and gestured towards the bard, clapping my hands to acknowledge her. I tipped her some silver and headed back to my seat.

“An _outstanding_ performance,” Dorian told me as I sat.

Josephine giggled. “You should be a bard,” she joked.

“Is that song really about me?” Sera asked Varric again, pushing the dwarf slightly.

Varric laughed awkwardly. “What can I say? You inspired me...” he replied.

I laughed at the rogues. I felt giddy from the aftermath of my bard-karaoke and couldn’t stop smiling. My song and dance seemed to rekindle the group’s chatting, and an argument ensued about who should sing next.

I looked at Solas beside me, who was being frustratingly quiet. He periodically sipped his wine silently, keeping his eyes at some distant point on the wall. I observed his face, which seemed to be refusing to look at me. My eyes wandered the curve of his jaw, how it sharply turned at his chin, connecting up to his lips...  _mmmm_.

I shook my head. _WTF, Anna?_ I had to stay focused. My mission was to get Solas and Lavellan back _together_ , not fangirl out about his face. I had to avenge all the broken hearts of Solasmancers around the world.

But it practically seemed hopeless at this point; he was so stubborn. How was I going to do it? I leaned back in my chair taking a sip of my ale, my left hand falling limply to my side. It brushed against something, and I realized it was Solas’ hand, sending a streak of excited electricity up my arm.

 _How drunk_ am _I??_ I thought. Very much so, it seemed, since I stayed my hand there, “casually” touching his.

The companions were laughing and talking amongst themselves, enjoying the evening. It seemed like no one was willing enough to sing as I had, though.

I sat there stupidly, pretending to listen to the others, but I was highly aware that the elf was _also_ not moving his hand. _Did he just not notice???_ I wondered obsessively.

Cullen suddenly spoke to me, bringing my attention to him. “You gave quite the impressive performance,” he complimented, smiling down at me.

“Thank you,” I said, smiling. “Perhaps the dancing was over the top, though.” I laughed nervously. I slowly started moving the fingers of my left hand, touching Solas’ lightly, but kept my eyes focused on Cullen.

Cullen chuckled. “No, _that_ was the best part,” he said, one corner of his mouth turning up deviously. Was Cullen flirting with me??

I absently traced swirling lines into the Dread Wolf’s hand, testing the hobo's patience. “Did you leave anyone behind in Kirkwall?” I asked Cullen in the meantime, one of my eyebrows raised seductively (I hoped) in the air. _Why wasn’t Solas moving?_

The Commander tilted his head curiously. “How did you know I was in Kirkwall?”

 _Shit_. I was forgetting to play it dumb. I had been in Skyhold so long now, I forgot about the things people were (and were not) aware of me knowing. I panicked, trying to think of an appropriate excuse.

He raised an eyebrow. “Have you been _asking_ about me?” he asked charmingly.

I shrugged. “You caught me!” I said anxiously to Cullen. I tugged at one of Solas’ fingers. Not a twitch. _Was he dead? Was he glitching??_

Cullen smiled. “No,” he said, answering my previous question. “I fear I made few friends there.” The Commander took a sip of his ale.

I grinned again at him, remembering some romance dialogue. “No one _special..._  caught your interest?” I traced a finger to the top of the elf’s hand.

Cullen raised an eyebrow, completely oblivious to the hand molesting I was doing. “No one in Kirkwall...” he said alluringly.

The elf hand suddenly jerked away, and mine jumped up in reflex. I pretended to scratch my head with my hand. “Heh heh,” I said awkwardly to Cullen. He smiled, thinking he had made me nervous.

Luckily, Josephine, who had been laughing along with Blackwall, tugged at the Commander, asking, “Isn’t that _right_ , Cullen? Blackwall doesn’t believe me!”

Cullen turned to her. “Isn’t _what_ right?”

My conversation with Cullen now over, I hesitantly peeked at Solas beside me through my peripheral vision. He was _still_ staring at the wall. _What the..._

I had to find out what he was thinking. I turned my upper body to him fully, but as I opened my mouth to ask him, he said (still not looking at me), “An impressive performance, indeed.”

I laughed nervously. “Heh, _you_ should sing next,” I suggested tipsily.

He grabbed my wrist, the one connected to the perverted left hand, and abruptly pulled me closer to him, whispering into my ear, “ _Absolutely not_.” The corners of his lips were curled into a smirk.

His thumb lightly stroked my wrist, much in the same way I had to his hand earlier. My heart was beating like crazy at the touch, but he soon let me go, leaning back into his chair. His hand dropped to the same spot as before.

I looked at his smiling, smug face and his hand hanging there. Was he daring me to do it again?

Dorian and Bull got up suddenly, grabbing my attention. They claimed to be _“tired”_ and needed to go to bed. I watched as they shuffled off together, exiting the tavern. Varric soon followed suit, with Sera (who was, like, _one_ ale away from blacking out) not long after. Josephine also had to leave, saying she had to be up early tomorrow. And with her gone, Blackwall announced his departure.

After this massive exodus, it was only Solas, Cullen, and me. Cullen turned to the both of us. “I am afraid I have early duties tomorrow morning as well,” he said, more to me than to Solas. “I suppose I shall... see you around?” he asked me.

I nodded. “G’night!” I exclaimed, giving him a little wave.

He smiled and left. _And then there were two_. I looked at Solas again, who had continued to stare at the wall again. “The alcohol is strong here...” I said to him, smiling. “Can you feel it on your skin, _tingling_?” I burst out laughing from my own statement. Solas didn’t react.

I looked in my glass, seeing that I still had a few sips left. I finished it off, and then grabbed Solas’ hand, lacing his fingers in mine. _Whatever, I don’t give a fuck!_ I was _pretty_ wasted.

He immediately stood from his seat, pulling me up by the hand. “It’s time to go, _da’len_ ,” he said calmly.

I sighed. “ _Okay..._ ” I said, defeated.

He slipped out of my hand, but delicately pressed into my lower back, urging me forward. We were the last ones to leave Herald’s Rest that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot can happen with hands... This is my version of (somewhat) Drunk Solas. BAM!
> 
> FYI, I listened to “Sera” on repeat while writing the karaoke part... and I am also _very_ obsessed with Solas’ jaw.
> 
> *Update: [I wrote the same chapter from Solas' POV](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3620562). I'm _way_ too in this.


	34. Wolf Lath

The two of us walked back through the courtyard to return to our respective quarters. Solas had attempted to walk a few steps away from me, but I sneakily snaked my arm through his, leaning in on him as we went. He stiffened at the touch, but ultimately allowed it. _Huhuhu_.

“That was fun,” I said, resting my head on his bicep. It was rather firm...

He chuckled softly. “Yes, you seemed to enjoy yourself,” he said darkly, _mysteriously_... He looked down towards me. “I don’t understand why you insisted I go so badly.”

I sighed. _This hobo_. “Solas, you _need_ to get out of that study every once in a while. You’re just _wallowing_ in there.” I mean, it had been _weeks_ already without a real change in him.

“You are probably right,” he said, looking at something in the distance. “But I still find it strange that you spend all your time seeking me out. I am sure you could find better company elsewhere in Skyhold.” _Why does everyone keep saying that here??_

“Ah, don’t say that, _hahren_!” I said, laughing at his suggestion and stumbling a little on my footing. “You should know the reason by now anyway.”

“Because you wish to help me achieve my goals?” he asked curiously, tilting his head towards me.

I laughed again. It was partially that reason, I supposed. I leaned a little harder on him when I told him, “It’s because I love you, silly _hahren_.”

Solas stopped walking then, forcing me to pause as well. “I was unaware,” he said in disbelief.

I drunkenly giggled again, continuing to walk on without him and opening my arms up to the sky. “ _Ar lath ma,_ Fen’Harel.” I looked back at him, taking in the worried look on his face. “You’ve somehow become my best friend.” What a thought.

I walked back to him, closing the short distance between us. I took one of his hands, patting it in my own. _There, there, old elf man_. I looked into his sad, blue eyes. “You deserve to be happy, Solas.”

He still didn’t say anything, but just continued to look at me uneasily, his brow furrowed with concern. I smiled at him and said softly, “You deserve to be with Lavellan.”

Solas continued to stare at me, not saying anything. I ended up walking back to my bedroom alone, since he was too dumbstruck to move by what I had told him. Was it really _that_ shocking?

Leaving him in the courtyard, I somehow managed to stumble into my quarters. It was pitch-black in there, but I found my hard straw bed and instantly passed out. I was pretty wasted.

When I opened my eyes, Solas was standing before me. I blinked a bit, slowly becoming aware. I was standing, too, but this wasn’t Skyhold, it was the dreamy Fade-land. Solas was smiling at me, in a small, pleasant sort of way, wearing his normal hobo garb.

“Hello, Anna,” he said to me, his hands clasped behind his back.

I smiled back. “Dread Wolf,” I nodded. I looked around then. I had never been to this place before, but it was somehow familiar...

“You told me once,” he said, casually looking around the area with me, “that you wished to know what my temple looked like.” He turned his gaze back on me, smiling a bit brighter. “Welcome to the Temple of Fen’Harel, _da’len_.”

Oh. _That would explain all the wolves._

I laughed from the realization of where I was. A place I had always wondered about, and now I was there. As my eyes further examined the temple, it strangely reminded me of Solas’ mural in the rotunda. The building had a sort of abstract, angular architecture about it. Large, triangular pieces of stained glass where spread intermittently throughout the polyhedron ceiling, filtering the sunlight in different shades of blue and green.

Giant wolf statues howled opposite each other, melding into an archway that led to a grand, marble-y staircase. The floor was made of beautiful, patterned tiles that merged up into the walls, creating the slightest gradient from dark to light. It was almost like there was no distinction between floor and ceiling, like I was simply standing in air. Except I could _feel_ it, of course.

I walked towards a wall and on closer inspection, I noticed the mosaics depicted wolves in various forms: hunting, sleeping, protecting. They decorated the walls in an entrancing diagram, delicately connecting one form to the next. It was so beautifully subtle in the way everything harmonized together, yet could somehow strike you with its geometric dynamic.

“You were right, Solas,” I said, looking back at him and grinning. “This is _way_ cooler than the Temple of Mythal.”

Solas laughed. “Shall I take that as admiration?”

“Yeah,” I said, looking at another statue, a smaller one carved in onyx. I walked my way over to it, leaning in for a closer look. “It’s beautiful.”

He smiled appreciatively. “This was when the temple was at the height of its glory,” he explained, walking over to the same statue beside me.

“What is it like now?” I asked him, eyeing how intricately the fur was carved from stone. _Did they use magic to chisel it so perfectly?_

He fondled one of the wolf-statue’s ears and smiled at me sadly. “Destroyed.” He retreated his hand and looked at something farther away.

I glimpsed at the ceiling again, taking in its angular details. This temple was probably the coolest building I had ever seen, in Dragon Age or real life. And it was gone. A tear involuntarily fell from one of my eyes. “That’s really sad,” I said quietly.

“ _Da’len_ ,” he said in a low voice and turning to me, “you have become important to me.” He put a hand on my face, cupping my cheek and pulling me to look at him. “So I must tell you this.”

He stared sadly into my eyes, his thumb lightly brushing my skin. “You know about my past mistakes... I need you to understand: I _must_ set the pantheon free.” His voice was calm and quiet.

I nodded slowly. “I know.” _Why was he telling me this?_

He released my face from his hand and walked a few paces away. He turned away, his back now facing me and his head bowed, when he said, “You don’t.”

“What do you mean? _Of course_ I do,” I exclaimed, walking over to his side. “It’s why I’ve said I wanted to help you this whole time!” _Did he seriously not get that?_

He turned to me, shaking his head. “I _must_ walk this path in solitude,” he said it in a small, pained voice with an anguished expression.

“But _why_?” I asked him. “ _Why_ do you have to do everything alone?!”

He grabbed me by the arms, shaking me slightly. “Because they will _kill_ me, Anna,” he said harshly, eyes narrowed and brow furrowed. He let me go abruptly, looking away. “You must realize this.”

I took a step back, suddenly feeling like I couldn’t breathe. It wasn’t exactly a surprise, what he had said. I mean, it made perfect sense that the gods would want to kill him for locking them up and changing the People forever.

But I supposed I had always thought he had a plan. Some way of escape. I never thought he was _actually_ gonna die, just get a bad ass-whooping or something. I shook my head at him. “No, there must be another way,” I choked out. “You don’t have to _die_.”

“No,” he said solemnly. “There is no other way. That is why I must leave you and Gurlll...” He closed his eyes and said softly, “I cannot betray myself.”

Hot tears were rolling down my cheeks now. I clutched my arms around me and couldn’t stop from sobbing. It was like he had broken up with my Lavellan all over again. _It’s always about him, isn’t it?_

Stupid wolf.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was listening to the [Thedas Love Theme](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ty7vRvLzycA) when writing this... WHY IS THAT SONG THE SADDEST THING EVER??? Why can’t they make a HAPPY love song??
> 
> I blame that song for the reason it’s so angsty.
> 
> *keeps picturing Solas backing away and saying “I _can’t_ ”* Don’t goooooooo!!! Don’t LEEEAAAAVEEE MEEEEE!!!!


	35. How Lost She Was

I looked at Solas. He was watching me, sadness and regret in his expression. I exhaled sharply, tears still wet on my face and continuously falling.

“I am sorry,” he said quietly, looking at me with mournful eyes.

I put my arms around him then, folding him into my embrace. I buried my face into his tunic, right next to his wolf jawbone pendant. My nose rubbed against the soft fabric. He had a pleasant, earthy scent. “You’re the worst, Solas,” I mumbled, hugging him tighter.

“I am,” he conceded. He put a hand on my head, and the other around me, returning my embrace. It was comforting.

Although he was telling me he would leave, that there was absolutely no way he would stay, or even allow me to come with him, I had already resolved long ago to follow him. Solas _still_ had no idea how much I knew, and with that I had hope to convince him to _at least_ let me help him. But I wouldn’t try just yet.

I wasn’t afraid of dying. Well, not _that_ much. Because a part of me knew that I would just wake up in my real life if I did.

We stayed holding each other for a little while, until I stopped crying. He gently stroked my hair and said soothing-sounding words in Elvish. I was glad that Solas didn’t try to run away like he usually did, but perhaps that was because I understood his plans better than anyone else. He had no reason to abandon me yet.

He pulled away from me and put his hand on my chin, smiling sadly at my face. “You have a strength about you, _da’len_. You are a courageous spirit.” It was probably the nicest thing he had ever said to me, but I still couldn’t smile.

“Can I still look around the rest of the temple?” I asked him, wiping away some leftover tears.

Solas chuckled softly, sadly. “Yes,” he told me. “For as long as you wish.”

I was relieved he didn’t try to wake me up right away like he had in other dreams. I turned away from him, looking at my surroundings again. We were completely alone, and everything was unnaturally quiet and still. I began to wander his temple, admiring the architecture and the beautiful construct of it all. The design was lovely; subtle, yet exquisite.

I tramped up the large staircase, my bare feet (he had taken off my shoes again, that hobo) noiselessly padding on the stone floor. I arrived at a somewhat smaller room that contained what resembled an altar. There was a _humongous_ statue of the Fen’Harel wolf in there, his six eyes gazing down at us. The pedestal in front of it looked like it used to hold something, but I couldn’t tell what. “What was this used for?” I asked him, placing a hand on its smooth white, marble top. There were grooves on its side, and I noticed it was actually large, triangular stone slabs angled together to form one surface.

Solas, who had been silently following me as I traversed the temple, replied, “It is for offerings.”

I arched an eyebrow at him. _Something disturbing??_ “Like what? What did they offer you?” I asked, somewhat anxiously.

He could tell I had something dark in mind, and laughed at my expression, his eyes sparkling slightly. “What are you thinking, _da’len_? A live sacrifice?”

I shrugged. “You are the _Dread Wolf_ ,” I countered. I mean, even _Mythal_ called him that.

His laugh turned into a somber smile, and he answered, “It was usually royal elfroot.”

“Oh,” I said, surprised. “That’s nice.” I thought of elves coming to the temple, placing the plant on the altar, whispering prayers to their wolf god. “Why royal elfroot?” I asked him.

Solas approached the pedestal, lightly touching its surface. “The plant has extraordinary properties. It can heal fatal wounds, and even continue to repair past that.” He turned to look at me. “To give it as an offering is both a gift and a request. It is to say, ‘I offer this to heal your wounds, and hope that you will aid me in return.’ ”

I smiled. “Give and take.”

He nodded. “In a way, yes.”

I studied Solas closely. It was the most unguarded I had ever seen him, even more than when he was practically crying into his books over dumping Lavellan. He looked so worn now, so sad, and he was completely open to me. _Had anyone ever seen him like this before?_

I wondered what it would be like, to be a god that was worshipped... and then one hated by all. To have such a beautiful place in your name, and then have it torn down to nothing, in an act of vengeance and despair.

“Fen’Harel,” I said, still looking closely at him. He locked his eyes with mine. “What _were_ you the god of?”

He tilted his head curiously at me, surprised by my question. _Bitch, you don’t know already?_ I imagined him thinking.

I continued, “Right now you’re known as the Betrayer. The god of betrayal. But I know that _harel_ can also mean trickery or rebellion. Did people pray to you because of your tricks? Because you were known to rebel? I don’t understand why you were worshipped.” I sounded _pretty_ blunt...

But Solas wasn’t angered by my question. He only smiled at my interest, my eagerness to learn more about him. “I was a protector,” he explained. “A protector of the small man. I would help he who had the odds against him, the one who needed it most.”

I smiled, beaming at him. It made a lot more sense now. A god of rebellion, who would defend those fighting their oppressors. He smiled back, laughing a little at my expression.

“You never knew this, _da’len_?” he asked, inclining his head with a half-smile.

I laughed. “No, I had no idea. It had always confused me.”

He nodded. “It has been a long time since I was thought of that way.” He looked around the room, his eyes examining the angles of the ceiling. “My temple is long forgotten.”

I approached Solas, taking his hand. “I won’t forget it,” I said, smiling.

His expression warmed when he looked at me. “Thank you, Anna,” he said softly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> D’aawwww.
> 
> I have this nice little idea of what the temple looks like in my head, but it’s hard for me to actually put it into words. Just picture his murals, okay??
> 
> On a side note, I was listening to this song ["Love Is On the Way"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VThQ2FZFZKI) by Susie Suh and found it to be the perfect soundtrack to this chapter. Although, that could just be me :p


	36. Present

Solas didn’t forcefully wake me up, so it was the sun streaming into my bedroom at Skyhold which woke me. I opened my eyes slowly, turning my body and groaning into the pillow. And then I realized I wasn’t alone.

Solas was sleeping on my little table, sitting on a chair with his head lying on its tabletop. _Had he been there all night?_

I got up slowly, pulling the covers off me and trying not to be too loud. I tiptoed over to the elf and crouched down beside him, eager to peer up at his sleeping face. Even in this state, his expression was sad. His mouth was in a solemn frown, and his brow was creased. _My poor hahren_.

He didn’t really want to journey off by himself, and I knew that he cared about me, at least somewhat. He just had to do what he had to do, and who was I to stop a plan he had been preparing long before he had ever even met me?

And yet... I would do anything to keep him from marching to his death. I just had to figure out how.

I lightly touched his cheekbone with my fingers, wanting to comfort him in some way. His eyes opened from the touch and looked immediately at my face below him. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly with his head still on the table.

“It’s okay,” I said in a voice just as soft, stroking his cheek gently. He leaned towards me and touched his forehead lightly to mine, resting it there and closing his eyes. It was a sweet and tender gesture, although for a moment I was reminded of his epilogue scene with Flemeth, when his forehead touched hers, and then he sucked the life out of her...

But I doubted he would (could?) do that to me. _Right?_

Solas sat up in the chair and out of my reach. He rubbed his eyes with his hand.

“Your temple was lovely, _hahren_ ,” I told him, still crouching on the ground.

He looked down at me and extended a hand to my face. “You are lovely, _da’len_ ,” he said faintly with a small smile. He then stood up. “Thank you, but I had little to do with the temple’s construction.” He turned to leave. “I apologize for disturbing you.”

“Wait, _hahren_!” I said, grabbing his hand to stop him. “Why don’t we.. get breakfast together?” I suggested.

He turned to me, his eyes flitting around my face. He smiled tiredly. “Perhaps you should prepare yourself before rushing out, _da’len_.”

I put a hand to my head, touching my hair. I must have looked a mess. “Solas, _please_ , I don’t care about how I look. Let’s just go eat.”

He smiled sadly at me, saying softly, “I do not think I could eat, _da’len_.” He gave my hand a light squeeze and then headed out the door.

I watched as he walked to his own room without looking back. Little did I know it would be days before I saw him again.

 

*****

 

The door to the Undercroft slammed loudly behind me. _Whoops_. That was _way_ louder than I had meant it to be. “Um...  _hey_ ,” I greeted awkwardly.

Dagna and Harritt observed me confusedly, unsure of what I was doing there. Harritt had been banging away at some armor or something, holding a hammer mid-air. Dagna seemed to be examining a weapon runestone. They both were staring at me now, though.

I shivered, rubbing my arms. “ _Geez_ , how can you stay in this place all day??” I asked them. They continued to just blink at me. It was _freezing_ in the Undercroft. I mean, I guess with all the heating and fusing of metals and stones and crystals and stuff, they needed the open air, but _seriously??_ There were _icicles_ hanging from the ceiling.

“Uh,” I started. “Is it possible to get my armor tailored here?” I asked the two.

“ _Tailored_?” Harritt asked sternly.

I shrugged, holding up Sera’s old hunter coat. “It’s kinda _big_ on me, and I would really love to get it properly fitted.”

Harritt crossed his arms, highly offended apparently. “Well, last time I checked, _I’m_ not a seamstress, and neither is Dagna.”

I rolled my eyes. “Sorry, I was just _asking_.”

“I have an idea,” Dagna chirped. “We have lots of other hunter coats lying around; maybe you’ll find something more your size!” _She’s such a cute little dwarf!_

“Really?!” I asked, highly excited.

She nodded enthusiastically, jumping up from her seat. _Something_ told me that Harritt’s company got a _little_ old.

Dagna led me to a corner of the room that had a pile of random loot. _Sweeeet_! She helped me sift through the various armors, pulling out a hunter coat every now and then. She held one up to my body, closing one of her eyes to measure the fit. “Try this one!” she decided, handing it to me.

I put it on. “It’s a little _tight_ ,” I told her.

She nodded in agreement. We continued to tear through the pile, throwing clothing left and right. “Oh, this one!” Dagna exclaimed. “And it has a _much_ better enchantment, too!”

I tried on the coat. “Whoa, _perfect_ , Dagna!” It fit like a glove. “ _So_ much better!” I spun around, stretching my arms a bit to confirm my statements.

Dagna smiled. “Looks great!” she complimented.

I nodded. “Thank you, Dagna.” Something on the floor caught my eye. A shiny, silver pouch. I picked it up and realized it was a small metal case. “Do you know what this is?” I asked the Arcanist.

She walked over to me, examining the object in my hand. “Oh, that’s a potion case! You can hang it on your belt and stuff!”

I turned the case around, feeling an engraving on the back. My eyes widened when I saw what it was. “Where did this come from??”

Dagna shrugged. “I don’t know, the Inquisition must have just found it somewhere.”

“Can I have it?” I asked her.

She smiled. “Sure! It’s yours,” she nodded.

“Thank you!” I said, giving her a small hug. “You’re the best!”

Dagna laughed, and I hurried out of there.

The metal case was strangely shaped, like three triangles joined together, connecting at opposing points. What had really intrigued me though, was the etching on one side. It had three wolves engraved into it, similar to the mosaics I had seen in the Temple of Fen’Harel.

Feeling the sides of it, I noticed a little clasp on the bottom, and I opened it curiously. _Could it have some secret artifact from Solas’ past???_ The case sprung open, as if on a spring.

It was empty. But the inside had a nice, soft hide-lining though. I walked to the rotunda, grasping the object in both hands. I opened the door, but was disappointed to find it unoccupied. Solas wasn’t there.

I walked to his desk, observing the various items on it. There were books open to certain pages, a giant crystal shard, nothing new... _When was the last time he was even in here?_

I hadn’t seen him for a few days, nearly a week. Solas locked himself in his bedroom and wouldn’t talk to me, no matter how many times I knocked on his door. “I need to be alone, _da’len_ ,” he said once quietly through the wood. After that, he didn’t say anything at all. I tried to open his door, too, but that stupid elf had blocked the door somehow (with magic, I presumed). It sucked, and I missed him.

I gave up after about two days, figuring he would come out when he was ready. Although it _was_ worrying, as I wasn’t sure how he was eating or even using a toilet...  _Can you use magic for that??_ It hurt me how he had just suddenly shut me out, although I supposed it was worse for my Inquisitor. When was the last time _she_ had even seen him? He had stopped saying _vhenan_ to her immediately. At least he still called me _da’len_.

His desk had some papers with little notes written on them; elegant, handdrawn symbols in Elvish. I ripped off a piece of an empty parchment, taking a quill in my hand. I dipped it in some ink and wrote:

 _A present for my grumpy hahren_.

I drew a little heart. Satisfied with the note, I folded it up and placed it in the potion case. I made my way to his quarters.

When I arrived, I knocked on his door. My plan was to leave the case in front of his bedroom, but the door slowly opened, and I felt so overcome with relief and emotion that my heart started to race. He barely opened it, slightly poking his nose through the crack. _Geez, Solas, what are you so afraid of??_

“Oh, Anna, it’s you,” he said warmly, opening the door wider so I could enter.

 _He’s finally letting me in_. “Why have you been _hiding_ all this time?” I asked him, striding inside. I walked to his table and sat down.

He closed the door behind me. “I was not _hiding_ ,” he argued, walking to his table and sitting down. “I simply had... thoughts on my mind.”

I sighed, shaking my head. He seemed...  _normal_. Not even really depressed anymore. I suddenly felt very angry, like he had been lying to me all this time. “Well, _okay_ , um, I just came to give you this.” I placed the metal case before him on the tabletop.

He raised an eyebrow, taking the object in his hand. He turned it over in his fingers, his eyes moving over the engravings. His gaze shot up to me. “Where did you get this?” he asked, surprised.

I couldn’t help but smile a little. “Dagna had it in a pile of stuff down in the Undercroft.”

He smiled at me, looking down at the case again. “I am amazed such an article still exists.”

“What is it?” I asked him.

His fingers traced the markings. “This case was one of the many objects decorated in my honor. It was believed to bring Fen’Harel’s blessing to whoever held it.”

I smiled, leaning forward. I liked hearing about his Fen’Harel days. “And did it?” I asked.

He laughed. “Well, I could hardly know everyone who held such an item, but occasionally, I would acknowledge such a carrier.”

I cocked an eyebrow. “ ‘Occasionally’?” I inquired.

He nodded. “When it was appropriate.”

“I see,” I said, understanding.

Solas continued to admire it, and soon found the button on the side, pressing it. It popped open as it had for me, but the parchment was in there this time. He raised an eyebrow, unfolding the paper curiously. A grin spread across his face as he read the note, and he looked up at me saying, “It seems you were successful in altering my attitude.” He returned his gaze to the parchment. “For a time,” he added quietly.

I smiled. “Well, that's good,” I said, standing up. “I’ll leave you to it, then.” I started to leave. This had been a lot more awkward than I had expected. I felt like I was shaking. He didn’t seem weird or sad or anything at all, and yet here I had been, depressed and lonely.

“Wait, _da’len_ ,” Solas said, standing up and walking towards me. “Thank you for bringing this to me,” he said, holding the case, “but I want you to have it.” He gestured it towards me.

“Why?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. “So I can have your _enansal_??”

He laughed. “Something akin to that, yes.”

“I dunno, seems weird,” I said flatly. “Like I worship you or something.”

He raised an eyebrow with a sly half-smile. “Don’t you?”

“Ha!” I said, hitting him on the arm. “In your dreams, wolf!”

He smiled. “Shall I take you to my temple again to convert you then?”

I rolled my eyes, saying, “Bye, Solas,” and then turned to leave, but he grabbed my hand.

He placed the metal object in my palm and curled my fingers gently with his own around the case. “I noticed you have no method of carrying healing draughts. It would appease my conscious to know you could hold more than two.”

“Hey, I’ve fit four in my pocket before!” I said indignantly. “Plus I just got a new coat, see?” I gestured to my outfit. “I bet this could fit way more potions.”

He looked at my hunter coat. “Yes, I noticed your new armor. I had thought you were going to tell me you were off to battle,” he smirked. “But it is far more sensible and beneficial to hold vials in one place.” He placed his other hand on mine, now clasping it with both of his. “Please, _da’len_.”

“Well, if it will _appease_ you,” I said, pulling my hand away.

“ _Ma serannas,_ Anna,” he said, bowing his bald head slightly.

I rolled my eyes. “Uh, no problem, _hahren_.” I backed my way to the door, opening it. “Thanks for the gift... that _I_ gave you in first place.” I quickly closed it behind me, leaning on the door once outside.

I sighed. I was freaking out a bit. His change in mood had startled me, upset me. What did he have to think about? Why did he have to lock me out completely?

I remained standing there for a few minutes, thinking of what could have happened. I took a deep breath and opened his door again. “Okay, what the fuck, Fen’Harel?” I asked him as I burst in. I slammed the door shut with the back of my body, leaning my weight against it.

He was sitting on the bed now, looking at me confused. “ _Da’len_?” he asked.

I sighed. “Why did you just ignore me for a week?”

“I told you, _da’len_ , I had to be alone to think.”

“Well, I was _worried_ about you, _hahren_. You didn’t even come out, I couldn’t even see you!”

“I know,” he said calmly. “It was wrong of me, and I apologize.”

I closed my eyes. “I know you have to leave eventually for your quest and stuff, but you’re still in Skyhold, and I just want to be your friend.” I opened my eyes and jumped a little. He was standing right in front of me. So close, in fact, I could feel his body heat.

“Yes, _da’len_ ,” he said in a low voice. “You are my friend.”

“Okay,” I said, looking up at him. “Then can you _not_ do that again?”

“I promise, _falon_.”

I nodded. “That’s good because... well, I thought...” and I embarrassingly started to cry.

His arms were around me instantly, pulling me away from the door and towards him. He rested his head on top of mine. “ _Ir abelas, da’len_ ,” he said into my hair. “I did not mean to hurt you.”

“Well, you did,” I sniffled.

“I...” he started slowy, “...was asleep these last few days.”

I looked up at him in disbelief. “You were in the _Fade_ all this time?? Why didn’t you come find me?”

He observed my face, his expression perfectly cool. “I was seeking counsel from a friend.”

“Why couldn’t you talk to _me_?” I asked quietly, sniffling again.

He touched my hair gently. “ _Da’len_ , it was not something you could advise,” he said in a soft voice.

I sighed. “Well, are you going to be normal again, then?”

His eyes were pouring into mine. “We may continue as we were, if that is what you refer to.”

“Okay,” I said quietly, pressing my head into his tunic. “I missed you, _hahren_.” 

He pulled away. “You must excuse me, _da’len_ ,” he said with a nod and rushed out the door. I watched him head straight for the bathroom. He _really_ had to go.

_That hobo._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What a long and messy chapter! I basically had too many ideas for one scene, ahahaha... hehh...
> 
> Elvish translations:  
>  _hahren_ = elder  
>  _da'len_ = little one  
>  _enansal_ = blessing  
>  _falon_ = friend  
>  _ma serannas_ = my thanks, thank you  
>  _ir abelas_ = I'm sorry


	37. Quick with her bow

“Seraaaaaaaaa!” I called, walking up the huge-ass stairs of the tavern. These had _got_ to be the largest steps in Skyhold _by far_.

I found her sitting on the roof right outside her window, feet dangling over the edge, and a bucket of water in hand. “Um,” I said, slightly out of breath, “what are you _doing_?”

Sera whipped around and smiled at me. “ _This_ ,” she said, gesturing to the bucket, “is goin’ on someone’s head!”

I took a careful step onto the roof. “Who’s?” I asked warily.

“ _Mmmm_ ,” she hummed. “I’m thinkin’ _Cassandra_. That cagey, boxed up, prissy romantic deserves a good prank.” She looked quite satisfied with herself.

“Nice,” I said, sitting down next to her. “I had a question for you.”

“Course you did. Well, spit it out, then,” Sera said with a grin.

We both looked down at the ground, waiting for the Seeker to come into view. “I was wondering...” I started, “...if you could teach me a thing or two...”

Sera started snickering. “Course I could, _adorable_ ,” she said, nudging me in the arm with her elbow and giving me a wink.

“...about _archery_ ,” I finished. _Sera, you are such a perv._

The rogue burst out laughing. “ _You_?!” she said between gasps. “You couldn’t aim an arrow if it was attached to ya head!” She found this _annoyingly_ entertaining.

I hit her on the arm. “I’m _serious_ , Sera! I need to learn how to defend myself!” I said.

Sera continued giggling, nearly dropping the bucket of water. “Alright, ya tit, I’ll do it!” She snickered a bit more. “Should be a laugh, anyway.” She eyed me deviously. “But only on one condition!”

“Okay...” I said hesitantly. “What?”

“This!” she said, tossing the bucket of water on me. She got up and ran away, laughing.

I sat there a moment, drenched and stunned, and shivering slightly. Soon, I got up myself, chasing after the elf. “I am gonna _fucking_ kill you, Sera!!!” I shouted after her.

 

*****

 

Sera held up her end of the bargain though, and one warm-ish day, the two of us were standing in an archery range in Skyhold. “So what do ya know about bows and arrows, anyway?” she asked me, handing me a simple longbow.

“Um,” I said, taking it from her. “Nothing?”

She laughed, shaking her head in disbelief. “Oh, you owe me _big_!”

Sera taught me the basics of how to hold a bow, draw, and aim the arrow. Luckily, it wasn't all that complicated, and soon, I was shooting towards the target, although I had yet to hit it. _I sucked_.

I drew my bow, focusing my gaze on the cloth target set up across the archery range. Taking a deep breath, I let the arrow fly. Miss. _Complete_ miss. In fact, such a _bad_ miss that it hit a tree. Like, _three_ yards away.

“ _Fuck_ ,” I cursed.

“An impressive shot,” a smug, wolfy voice from behind me said. “Every tree in Thedas will be at your mercy.”

I turned around to see Solas smirking at me with his arms crossed. He was standing near the edge of the range, just outside its little wooden fence.

“Well,” I said, relaxing my bow, “look who _finally_ popped his bald head out of his room.”

Sera started snickering furiously. “ _Baldy_ ,” she said, laughing to herself. She was sitting crossed-legged on a bale of hay near the fence.

“I decided to take your advice, Anna,” he said, giving me a small smile, “and stop ‘wallowing’ in there, as you so eloquently phrased it.”

I raised an eyebrow. “I can see that,” I told him. “And _I’m_ taking your advice, too.” I smiled at him, lifting up the bow. “Teaching myself some defense!”

Solas shook his head, smiling. “I have not heard continuously missing a target called _defense_ before,” he teased with an arched brow.

I shrugged. “I’m trying.” I turned around, attempting to shoot a couple more arrows, but missing every time.

Sera laughed. “ _How_ can you be so bad at this?” she snickered. “Keep ya arse _straight_ , Annie!” she shouted, commenting on my posture.

I took another breath, drawing the bow again, trying to keep my body straight. My arrow hit the very edge of the target. “Yes!” I shouted a bit too loudly. “May the Dread Wolf _fucking_ take you!” I turned around to Solas, giving him a proud smile.

Solas raised an eyebrow at me. “I believe that curse only applies to a target you intend to _hit_.” He took a step closer, placing his hands on the fence. “Your shot would barely be a graze, if even that.” He gave me a sly smile.

I leaned towards him. “Well, _you_ would know _all_  about that curse, wouldn’t you?” I said in a low voice.

He bowed his head ever so slightly, smiling at me. I turned back to the target, determined to hit closer to the center. I shot another arrow, hitting slightly more inwards. _Better_...

“Not bad!” another voice behind me said. I turned to see Cullen observing me as well from behind the fence. _Great_. I had become today’s Skyhold entertainment. “But I _would_ suggest keeping your arm lower and your shoulder down,” Cullen commented, his hand resting on the hilt of his sword.

I tried to do as he told me, shooting another arrow. It hit closer to the center this time, but only bounced off the target.

“ _Good_...” he said, lying sympathetically, “but you have to move your whole body with the draw, not just your arm. Sera, why don’t _you_ show her?” He looked towards her.

Sera stood, walking over next to me. She drew her own bow and then fired an arrow into the dead center of the target. “Easy!” she said, smiling. She returned to her seat, crossing her legs and arms smugly.

I attempted to imitate her archer posture, but my arrow bounced off the target again. I exhaled, exacerbated. “I’m too weak!” I said, annoyed with myself.

“No,” Cullen said, shaking his head and walking his way over. “It’s your stance.” He had me draw again, but pushed my shoulder back and moved my waist to align with the bow. “Like this,” he said softly, his hands releasing my body and stepping away.

I narrowed my focus on the target, aiming the arrow. It hit _much_ closer to the center (although still not _that_ close), and actually stayed in this time. “I did it!” I said, jumping up and down eagerly. “Thanks, Cullen!” I told the Commander, giving him a small side-hug.

Cullen immediately stood very still, laughing awkwardly. “It is not a problem...” he said quietly.

Sera laughed. “ _Little Cully-wully_ has gotten all sorts a _red_!” she said in a mock-baby tone.

“ _Actually_ ,” Solas said, who was suddenly right next to me, “you must _relax_ your pose before aiming; that will ensure the closest shot.” He gestured for me to try again.

I held my bow up, drawing the string with the arrow in place. Solas stood at my back, lightly pressing on my shoulders with his hands, making my heart beat much faster than before... “Now _relax_ ,” Solas said gently into my ear. “And aim. Make sure your arm follows through with the shot.” He stood back to give me space.

I let the arrow fly, and it surprisingly landed in the center, puncturing the target viciously. “Oh, _shit_ ,” I said in shock. “Solas!!” I said excitedly, throwing my arms around him. “ _You_ are a _god_.” I could be a regular Katniss Everdeen ( _yeah right_ ).

He rolled his eyes at me. But he smiled, laughing a little at my enthusiasm. He patted my head lightly. “It was nothing, _da’len_ ,” Solas said warmly. Cullen scratched the back of his head awkwardly beside us, clearing his throat.

“Well, _I_ coulda taught you that!” Sera said indignantly. “ _But_ seems like you don’t need me anymore, so I’m just gonna piss off then.”

“Thank you, Sera!!” I shouted after her, letting go of Solas. She waved me off, heading towards the Herald’s Rest.

“You still are in no way able to defend yourself,” Solas remarked mockingly.

Cullen butted in. “Yes, Anna, more practice is in order if you are to truly enter battle.” I nodded seriously in response.

“ _Yes, da’len_ ,” Solas said abruptly, turning my attention to him. “There is actually a very effective method of practicing in the Fade that I could teach you.”

Cullen rolled his eyes. “But the Fade isn’t _real_ , it _can’t_ teach you the skills needed for battle.” He shook his blonde head slightly.

Solas crossed his arms, clearly annoyed. “The Fade _is_ real, as are the experiences within it. It allows a person to perfect a craft in half the time regularly deemed necessary.”

The Commander shook his head incredulously. “The Fade cannot offer a proper test of reflex though; _that_ is only shown in real life,” the Commander countered, pointing a finger emphatically at the elf.

“ _Real_ life is—” Solas began, his jaw slightly clenched.

“Whatever, I’m tired!” I said, cutting off their argument. “I think I’m gonna get a drink with Sera.” I leaned my bow and quill against the fence and started walking towards the tavern. I turned back. “Are you guys coming?”

They both nodded and hurried after me.

These boys and their combat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I mean, Solas _would_ be good at archery, what with the “slow arrow” story and all...
> 
> I just wanna say, thank you for all the comments, bookmarks, subscribers, kudos, and general love and support!!! You guys make me feel so lucky and I hope the story continues to be enjoyable <3


	38. Shem Decisions

“To _me_!” I said, holding up my ale emphatically. “Finally being able to fight something!”

“ _Somethin’_ is a bit exaggerated,” Sera snickered. “ _You’d_ be lucky to hit a mountain!” She laughed and toasted my mug.

Sera, Solas, Cullen, and I were all sitting at a square table in the tavern, the four of us each occupying our own side. Cullen and Solas were on my sides, while Sera sat across from me. Much to my surprise, Solas had agreed to drink an ale along with the rest of us.

“Well,” I said, after taking a sip, “maybe once I practice a little more, I can _actually_ get out of Skyhold!”

Cullen gave me a worried look, an eyebrow raised in the air. “Do you wish to leave the Inquisition?” he asked me, concerned.

I shook my head, waving my hand a little. “No, no! It’s not _that_ , I just actually want to _go_ somewhere. Like on a quest or something...  _anything_ , really.” I took another big gulp. _Bleh_.

Cullen relaxed. “Well, I’m certain I could take you somewhere...” he said, then suddenly added, “ _or_ have it arranged, that is.”

I shrugged. “I still need to protect myself, though.” _Which I definitely sucked at_.

“You certainly do,” Solas commented, taking a small sip of his beverage.

“Hey, Cullen!” I said, suddenly remembering something. “Don’t you think Lake Calenhad looks like a bunny?” I snickered.

Cullen laughed, leaning towards me and slamming his glass on the table in delighted disbelief. “That’s what _I’ve_ always said!” He seemed overjoyed by our common observation (which I had actually stolen from his in-game War Table banter, _heh heh_ ).

Solas rolled his eyes, leaning back in his chair, annoyed. I laughed with Cullen, who continued to smile at me jubilantly.

“She’s got a pretty voice, doesn’t she?” Sera asked, not paying attention to the conversation. “Certainly better than _yours_ ,” she said to me, chuckling with a pointing finger.

I followed her gaze to see she was staring at the bard. _Everybody seemed to be into that bard, huh?_ “Yeah, she’s pretty good,” I agreed.

“Oh!” Sera jumped up from her seat. “She’s goin’ on break. I’m gonna chat up that Maryden!” She went running off. _Desperate, much?_

I looked back to Cullen. He was quietly drinking his ale. “So what do _you_ like to do for fun, Cullen?”

“Me?” he asked, arching an eyebrow.

“Yeah, I mean... there’s not that much to do around Skyhold...” I shrugged. I watched as Sera started talking to the bard. The rogue was shifting her weight from her left to right foot nervously.  _Sera's sort of awkward..._ _  
_

“Ah, yes.” He thought a moment, tilting his head and looking upwards. He looked back at me and answered, “Well, I certainly enjoy a game of chess.”

“Mmm, chess, right...” I took a sip, looking down at the table. “Anything else?” _Kinda boring..._

He laughed uneasily. “Well, I must admit, Anna, my work consumes most of my time. I hardly am ever free.”

I smiled. “ _No_ , _you’re_ a workaholic, Cullen!” I corrected, pointing at him accusingly. “You never give yourself free time.”

He laughed, shaking his head. “The Inquisition needs as much attention as possible, we must be fully prepared to fight Corypheus!” he defended.

“Yes,” I said, nodding and taking another sip, “but one man can only do so much. And he’ll usually do less if he’s too overworked.”

He smiled, his eyes drifting towards the floor. “Perhaps I should take some time off.”

I leaned my elbow on the table, propping my head with my hand. “Well, just a break or two would be good, I’m sure,” I said, taking a gulp and grinning.

He finished his drink. “Unfortunately, I really _should_ be going,” Cullen said reluctantly, rising from his chair. “I’ve neglected my duties for too long today.” He gave me a small smile (and a cold, narrow-eyed nod to Solas) before leaving the two of us (who pretty much had no responsibilities, _cough_ ).

With Solas and I now alone, it felt oddly...  _date_ like. I took another sip, my face feeling warm.

“You did not ask what _I_ enjoy doing, _da’len_ ,” he observed, sounding bothered.

I laughed. “That’s because I _know_ already, _hahren_.” I smiled, holding up a fist. “You like to read about old stuff, paint, and go into the Fade, seeing more old stuff.” I counted each item with a finger.

“I enjoy more than _that_ , _da’len_ ,” he said indignantly.

“Yeah, and I’m sure Cullen likes more than just _chess_. But I really just wanted suggestions for fun stuff to do around Skyhold.” I shrugged.

He raised an eyebrow. “What did you like to do in your home?”

“Hmm,” I said, considering. “Well, my world is quite different from here. We had a lot more...  _entertainment_.”

“Such as?”

I thought of what would be appropriate to tell him. “Like shows... sort of like... theatrical plays that you could watch at any time. At the click of a button.”

Solas looked at me confused. “The click of a button? You would press something and actors would instantly perform? Were they possessed or enslaved? Why would they willingly do this? Was their compensation very high?”

I laughed. “No, it was pre-recorded... like... watching a memory acted out by spirits in the Fade.”

“I see,” he said, considering my words. “But you were not asleep to witness this?”

I smiled. “Nope. It happens when you’re awake, whenever you want.” I took another gulp of ale.

“This is fascinating indeed.” He thought a moment. “How were these memories recorded?”

 _Hmmm..._ This would be a lot to explain. “Well... we have machines that record them. And then other machines to play them back.”

“Machines?” he wondered. He pondered this, eyeing me. “I am very intrigued, _da’len_.”

“Yeah, it’s pretty different from here...” I said, my fingers fiddling on my glass. “Our lives are pretty much dependent on machines.”

“Dependent?” he asked, highly curious.

I nodded. “Yeah, like we use them every day, for everything.”  _What I wouldn't give for my phone here in Thedas_...

Solas leaned towards me. “Can you show me? Can you show me more of your world?”

“I dunno...” I said uneasily. It seemed risky. What if he just freaked out? What if he learned the truth that he was just in a game?

“Why not?” he asked, slightly disappointed.

“Ehh.” My face scrunched into uncertainty. “I’m worried about your... reaction.”

Solas laughed. “ _Da’len_ , I have lived for a long time, and seen much in the Fade. I am sure I can handle your home.”

I crossed my arms, raising an eyebrow. “How can you be so sure?”

“Anywhere _you_ come from cannot be threatening...” he smirked, “and I have already seen some of it from your dreams.”

“Wait,” I said, pounding my hands on the table. “Dream‘ _s’_? As in multiple?? I only remember the one...”

Solas straightened in his seat, coughing slightly and looking away from me.

I glared at him, narrowing my eyes. “ _Solas..._ ”  _Don't tell me all this time..._

He took a sip of his drink, frowning instantly from the taste.

I covered my face with my hands. _He's snuck into more of my dreams??_  “Oh, my _god_... Solas, you are such a _CREEP_!”

“I was only curious,” he explain calmly.

I removed my hands from my eyes, looking at him in disbelief. “That’s not an excuse.”

“I did not mean to invade your mind.” He didn't even look sorry.

I huffed in anger. “Hmmm...  _are you sure about that_? Because that’s kind of _exactly_ what you did.”

“I only came when you would call me,” he said, slightly indignant. “And then I grew more... interested.”

I felt even more panic rise in my stomach. “What do you mean ‘I _called_ you’?”

“You often dream of me,” he said quietly, looking downwards.

“ _Oh, my god_ ,” I said, covering my face again. “This is so mortifying,” I murmured into my hands.

“You need not be ashamed, _da’len_ ,” he said sympathetically. “I often dream of you, as well.”

I still covered my face, refusing to look at him. “Yeah, because you always break into _mine_!”

“That’s not what I meant,” he said softly.

I exhaled slowly, trying to calm myself. “Well, I’m not gonna show you anything.” I removed my hands and looked at him. “You don’t deserve it.”

He sighed. “As you wish.”

I crossed my arms. “And you have to do something for me, as punishment.” I looked him straight in the eye.

“What is it?” he asked, his hands folded neatly in his lap.

I took another gulp, still holding eye contact. “You have to take me somewhere, _hahren_.” I wiped some residue of the beverage with the back of my hand.

He raised an eyebrow. “What did you have in mind?” he asked apprehensively, eyeing me carefully.

“Like do a quest... I mean, just because the Inquisitor isn’t there, doesn’t mean we can’t do something important!” I exclaimed, my idea exciting me more with every word, and the alcohol pushing away my previous embarrassment into some back area of my head.

Solas still looked confused. “I do not understand you, _da’len_.” His glass sat practically full on the table.

“Like... something like... measuring the Veil!” I said excitedly, my eyes lighting up. _Yeah!_

“Measuring the _Veil_?” Solas asked me, perplexed.

“You know,” I said, patting him on the arm. “Turning on those elven artifacts or whatever.” I took another sip.

“Ah,” Solas said, understanding. He looked away at a wall.

“How many have been activated, anyway?” I inquired, bringing back his attention.

Solas sighed. “Sadly, only three.” He took a sip, making another slightly disgusted frown. “And I fear no more shall be activated as the Inquisitor has no ability to detect them.”

“But _you_ do,” I said, poking him in the chest.

He raised an eyebrow. “Are you suggesting that we foolishly leave Skyhold to active these relics, while Corypheus’ imminent attack is nearly upon us?”

I shrugged. “Yeah, pretty much!” I smiled dumbly at him. "And this is your punishment, anyway. You don't get a choice!"

He shook his head, sighing. “ _Surely_ you see the flawed logic of that proposal, _da’len_.”

“Solas, come on!” I said, pushing him gently. “The fight with Corypheus won’t happen until Lavellan goes to the Shrine of Mythal, _anyway_.” I waved my hand as if to dismiss the magister’s threat. “And we can always be contacted by raven!” I smiled encouragingly at him.

He still wasn’t convinced. “No,” he said, shaking his head. _Such a stubborn egg._

“Solas, please!” I begged, cupping my hands together. “ _You_ need to get out of here! _I_ need to get out of here! It’s not doing _either_ of us any good to stick around!” I put my hand on his shoulder. “ _Plus_ ,” I added quietly, “the Veil _needs_ to be strengthened! Imagine all the people that could be saved...” Was anybody _really_ saved by the artifacts? _Doubt it......_

Solas studied my face, considering my proposition. He exhaled, closing his eyes briefly. “ _Perhaps_ , if we are quick, and _only_ go to ones nearby...”

I nodded enthusiastically, bouncing in my chair.

“But _only_ ,” he cautioned, raising one finger in the air, “if others will join us. You _still_ cannot defend yourself, Anna, and your well-being will not be solely dependent on me.”

I laughed. “That’s _easy_! We’re not the only ones around here who’re bored!” I hugged the elf then, barely able to contain my excitement and throwing my arms around his neck. “Thank you, _hahren_ ,” I breathed into his ear. I realized I was pretty close then, and my heart started to race again. I could smell his familiar scent, it was so _lovely_ , his aroma...

“I only hope we do not regret this,” he remarked quietly, shifting a bit in his seat. I pulled away then, realizing my clinging had become awkward.

“Don’t worry,” I said, giving him a reassuring smile. “We won’t.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it just me, or is Cullen the only one who ever does any work in this fic??? Skyhold inhabitants sure are lazy.
> 
> Does Cullen think Lake Calenhad looks like a bunny? [See for yourself](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQEh8ZhOQF8).


	39. (Not So) Straight Shooter

The next day, Iron Bull, Varric, Solas, and I set out to activate some elven artifacts.

“I’ll go,” Varric had hesitantly agreed, “but _only_ if along the way we can destroy any red lyrium veins that we come across.”

“Yeah, Varric, no _duh_ ,” I said, patting the dwarf on shoulder. “That’s a _given_.”

Iron Bull was pretty easy to convince, since he pretty much wanted to hit things all the time. “Yes,” he said immediately. “Let’s go.” (I had barely finished asking the question)

So off went a Qunari, a dwarf, an elf, and a human, skipping out the gates of Skyhold. It was just like the _Wizard of Oz_ or something.

We all rode horses to the Hinterlands, as Solas said there were still two artifacts there. I wished we could fast-travel since horses took _soooo_ much longer. I was way excited though, as the prospect of coming to a new area came closer. Even if it was the Hinterlands. Which was probably the most dull, nondescript place ever.

We eventually had to stop for the night on our way there, and after a simple camp was established, Varric had the (unsurprising) suggestion of telling stories around our campfire.

“Did I ever tell you about the time we broke into Chateau Haine?” he asked us, looking at each of our faces across the fire. “It started, as most capers do, with a trap...” He proceeded to tell the tale of his quest there with Hawke. _Same story from Wicked Grace, huh, Varric?_ We all laughed (well, not Solas, really) because Varric is such a good storyteller, always knowing the right times to pause for drama or make a joke.

When he finished, he looked at me expectantly. “Well, Sleepy? You’re up.”

 _Shit_. I had stories, sure. But nothing that would make sense to a Dragon Age character. I thought a moment. “Okay,” I said, remembering a good one. “I once dated this guy who was a total kleptomaniac. I mean, he would just steal practically anything!”

Varric raised an eyebrow at me.

I shrugged. “I didn’t know that _before_ we started dating. But anyway, once he told me to meet him in a park, since he had a surprise prepared for me. Excitedly, I agreed, and I met him there at the designated time. It was this nice little park, with a big field and lots of flowers... When I arrived, I saw that he had laid out a little picnic for us, with a blanket and a basket and some food and everything! It was _so_ sweet, or so I _thought..._ ”

I smiled at the companions, taking in their expressions. Varric still had an eyebrow raised, confused at where this story was going. Bull looked amused, grinning encouragingly at me. Solas had a very deadpan expression, completely calm. Seriously? Even the Req Officer was turning her head towards me curiously.

“So we started eating,” I continued, “and it was _delicious_. I was shocked that he had made it all from scratch, I had never even seen him _cook_ before!” The light of the fire danced on all of the companions’ faces, casting exaggerated shadows on their expressions. “But then a couple approached us, and a man angrily shouted, ‘What the fuck are you doing?!’ ” I made my voice slightly deeper for the man’s voice.

Both of Varric’s eyebrows shot up. I continued with a smile. “My boyfriend just told me, ‘Run!’ and we had to beat it like crazy. As it turned out, he had _stolen_ the picnic. A friggin’ PICNIC! Who does that??”

Iron Bull laughed. “What did you do after that?” he asked me.

I smiled. “I _punched_ him.”

“What?!” Varric said, leaning forward in disbelief, eyes bulging slightly. “ _You_ punched him?”

I nodded proudly. “I said, ‘I’m tired of all your crazy criminal shit! What are you trying to prove, anyway?!’ and I broke up with him, right then and there. I never saw him again, either.” I crossed my arms, smiling haughtily.

Varric and Bull laughed. Even Solas smiled a little. I saw the Requisition Officer giggle slightly. It wasn’t as entertaining a story as Varric’s, but at least I somewhat entertained.

“What about you, Chuckles?” Varric asked, directing the question at the hobo. “Got any good stories?”

Solas was staring off into the distance, as if contemplating. “Yes,” he said casually.

“Well, then, let’s hear it!” Varric enthused. It touched my heart a little to see him trying to include the cold elf.

Solas took a sip of the tin of water he was holding. “It involves an encounter I had with a Dalish clan.”

“Oh, shit,” I said, a little too loudly. The gang all looked at me. “I, um... please continue, Solas.” I gestured to him with my hand. _This story could be_ crazy.

Solas raised an eyebrow, but continued his tale. “Once during my travels through the Dales, I happened upon a Dalish camp. I had been travelling a long time and thought to seek some shelter among them.”

“ _You_ sought shelter?” Varric asked skeptically.

“Yes,” said Solas, clearly aggravated. “It is not always _easy_ traveling alone. I was tired and weakened, I needed food and protection, and I had believed this clan could provide me with such. When I approached the camp, they met me with suspicion and disdain, calling me ‘flat-ear,’ as they are wont to do.”

He took another sip before continuing. “I pleaded as their _lethallin_ to lend me some aid, but they refused to help an outsider, even a fellow elf. I was threatened and forced away, and their attitude angered me. So I immediately sought vengeance.”

“Oh, my god. What did you _do_?” I asked in horror. _Why was he telling this story in front of Varric and Bull???_

He eyed me with a smile. “I mixed blood lotus powder into their provisions.”

Iron Bull and Varric burst out laughing. “That is _good_ , Solas,” Bull said, chuckling.

“Wait,” I said, confused. “I don’t get it.”

Varric looked at me, still laughing a bit. “Aw, Sleepy, don’t _tell_ me you don’t actually know the effects of blood lotus if you eat it?”

I shrugged. “Um... no?”

“It gives you the shits,” Iron Bull rumbled. He and Varric laughed again, while Solas smiled smugly to himself.

I laughed. “Are you _serious,_ Solas?” I asked.

“Yes,” he said, somewhat proudly. “And I was sure to observe the outcome.” He took a sip of his water. “But viewing was unnecessary, as the smell could be detected from quite a far distance.”

“Ew!” I said, covering my mouth and laughing. “You’re _crazy_ , _hahren_!”

He gave me a sly smile.

I moved myself closer to Solas, sitting right beside him on the ground. “Why were you so weak that you needed their help though?” I asked him quietly.

He eyed the others, who had started chatting to each other about something, before he answered me in a low voice, “I was nearly powerless when I first awoke, _da’len_. It was not an easy transition.” He took a sip of his drink, leaning back slightly and staring into the fire.

I nodded. _It must have been hard to wake up like that_.

“Hey, you lovebirds, are you going to listen to Bull’s story or what?” Varric asked me and Solas.

“What?!” I said, turning to the dwarf. “Why would you say that?!” I felt my face turning red.

Bull laughed, looking at us with a mischievous expression. “What does ‘hahren’ mean anyway?”

“Elder,” Solas answered indifferently, his face neutral.

Varric burst out laughing. “ _You_ owe me a sovereign,” he told Bull, pointing his finger at him.

Bull shook his head, smiling. “I thought it meant ‘sweetie’ or something.” He then continued with his story of when _he_ had consumed blood lotus (totally gross, BTW).

I scooted a little farther away from the elf. I didn’t want them thinking _that_. After Bull’s story, everyone was pretty tired and thus prepared for sleep. We laid out some bedrolls around the fire. Solas went to casting wards around the camp, and I followed him.

“Solas,” I whispered. “Can you believe they said that stuff?!”

Solas arched an eyebrow, stopping his rune-drawing momentarily. “What do you mean?”

I raised both my eyebrows. “The _lovebird_ stuff,” I said urgently under my breath.

He rolled his eyes, continuing the rune with his staff. He finished and looked at me, inclining his head to the side slightly. “It is that surprising?” he asked me quietly, his eyes locked on mine, burning with intrigue.

“Uh... yes?” I said, suddenly uncomfortable from his intense gaze. _Why was he staring at me like that??_

His eyes continued to bore into mine, seemingly searching for something. After a time, mere seconds, really, he looked back at the camp, breaking our eye contact and the tension. “We are always together, _da’len_. You are the only one who now willingly seeks me out.” He looked back at me, shrugging. “It is a natural conclusion.”

“Yeah, but...” I looked back at the camp. Bull and Varric were settling into their bedrolls now. “It looks really _bad_.” _Me and the Inquisitor’s ex, hello??_

Solas chuckled lightly. He put his hand under my chin, lifting my face back to his gaze. “Then perhaps you should start ignoring me,” he said with a sly smile, his eyes glowing in the dim light.

I started holding my breath, my heart beating a little faster. “I can’t do that,” I whispered, staring into his deep gaze.

“Hmm,” Solas hummed consideringly. He let go of my chin, taking a step back. “Then you will have to suffer the consequences, _da’len_.” He walked back to camp. I took a few deep breaths and did the same. It took a little longer to sleep that night.

 

*****

 

The next morning, we continued to the Hinterlands as before. Everyone was acting the same as usual, so I relaxed a little. They had just been teasing us (or rather, _me_ because Solas didn’t seem to care). As we rode our horses, a group of four bandits appeared in our view that had previously been hidden by boulders.

“Shit,” Varric said, dismounting his mare. He looked up at me. “Watch the mounts, Sleepy.” He approached the outlaws, with Iron Bull and Solas following suit. I did as he said, holding all the reins. There was a tree nearby, so I tethered the horses to it.

I observed the brawl. My companions were all skilled fighters, so I didn’t think that this would be a tough battle. The bandits were clunky, used to scaring more than actually _fighting_. But they still had weapons and were somewhat skilled with them.

I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to try my new archery skillz. I took my bow from my back and snuck closer to the fight. Solas was on the edge of the battle, languidly casting spells on the men. He noticed my approach and commanded at me, “Stay behind me, _da’len_!”

I stayed a few steps behind him, as requested, but aimed my arrow at one of the bandits. The man was fighting with Bull, swords clashing with one another. I took a breath, and let the arrow fly.

“Shit!” Iron Bull shouted. My arrow had landed in his thigh. _Whoops_.

“ _Anna_!” Solas shouted angrily.

“I’m sorry!” I exclaimed, dropping my bow defensively. It was clear I was _not_ meant for battle.

The bandits had their own archer among them, and after noticing our shouts, fired an arrow towards Solas and me. “Solas!” I shrieked worriedly, pushing us both to the ground. As we tumbled down, our heads bashed painfully into each other’s, and I ended up lying on top of him.

Another arrow flew at us, but fizzled away into a previously-invisible blue magick. “Anna, I have a _barrier_ ,” Solas yelled, rubbing his head and trying to move from underneath me.

I clambered off him. “Is it protecting both of us?” I asked frightenedly, still lying clumsily in the grass.

He sprang to his feet. “Of _course_.” He aimed his staff directly at the archer, and a fiery burst emerged from it, killing the bandit instantly.

I remained on the ground as the companions finished off the enemies. It seemed the best place to stay at the moment. The battle soon concluded, and Solas helped me to my feet. “ _Never_ do that again, _da’len_ ,” he warned, looking me sharp in the eye.

I nodded shamefully. Iron Bull limped over to us. “Can you help me out here, Solas?” he asked. Solas quickly yanked out the arrow, causing a grunt from Bull, and healed the wound using a spell from his hand.

“I’m so _, so_ sorry, Bull!” I said, hurrying over to them. “I was trying to hit the bandit!”

“Yeah, I figured,” he said, rubbing his now-mended leg. “Just don’t do it again, kid.”

“You know, Sleeps, Sera _told_ me how bad you were at shooting, but I had thought it was at least better than _that..._ ” Varric mocked, smiling at me.

“Seriously, Bull!” I said, ignoring the dwarf. “ _Please_ let me make it up to you! I’ll do whatever you want!”

Iron Bull thought a moment. “Alright, kid,” he said, smiling deviously, “You can be my slave, then.”

I swallowed. “And what _exactly_ does that mean?” I asked cautiously. _Collars and leashes and leather straps??_ You never knew with Iron Bull...

Bull laughed. “A slave can’t ask questions, Anna, only _do_ as she is told.” He winked at me.

“Enough,” Solas said sharply. “It was a simple mistake, let us leave it at that.”

The Qunari shrugged. “ _She’s_ the one who was offering,” he said, walking back to the mounts.

We all started riding again, and Solas and Bull continued some verbal chess match that had been ongoing for a while. Varric rode beside me. “You want some more archery pointers, Sleepy?” he asked me.

I nodded. “I just _can’t_ hit a moving target,” I said pathetically.

“Just watch your mark and anticipate where it’ll move next,” Varric explained. “Observe its speed, the direction of its movement, and you’ll hit it. It just takes a little thinking.”

I smiled, nodding. “Okay, I’ll try that next time.”

He laughed uneasily. “How about you practice on a fennec first or something?”

“Yeah, probably a good idea,” I said, laughing. Was I the worst archer in all of Thedas or what?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, she probably is the worst.
> 
> On the campfire storytelling... a trickster god must have done pranks in his life, right??


	40. By the Dread Wolf

While we were journeying, my mind kept wandering to Solas sneaking into my dreams. The more I thought about it, the worse I felt about it. What had he seen?

I normally didn’t remember my dreams. I would wake up, and they would flutter away, fleeting into some forgotten corner of my brain. I was used to this, and I only really remembered a handful. Nothing that I was worried about Solas seeing... save _one_. One dream that I could still recall with perfect clarity, as if it were a real memory.

I was sitting at a cafe, like one in the real world, sipping coffee from a white ceramic mug. Solas was seated across from me, drinking as well. I was tapping my fingers on the table with my left hand, while holding the handle of the mug with the other. We were at a table outside, and it felt like a warm summer day. I don’t even think we talked, or at least I don’t remember any conversation, except for one little thing.

Solas put his cup down on the table and smiled at me. And then he placed his hand on top of mine, leaned towards me and said, “I love you.” And the dream ended. That was it.

And when I woke up, I was happy, excited for a moment, until I realized it was a dream. And not only was it a dream, but a revelation of sorts. It showed me what I really wanted, what I desired... and that was for Solas to love me.

I mean, it should have been obvious that I wanted this, really. But the dream made it much more real... because it showed me what I didn’t have.

And I couldn’t let that _hobo_ know that.

We were riding beside each other on horseback when I ventured to ask about it. “Solas?”

“Yes?” he replied, glancing at me from his horse.

I took a deep breath, eyeing him timidly. “What sort of things did you see in my dreams?”

He frowned. “I apologize for invading you like that, _da’len_. It was insensitive of me.”

“It’s...  _okay_ , I guess.” I sighed, staring at my horse’s mane. I looked at him again. “But I’d like to know what things you saw.”

He smiled. “I saw many things,” he answered. His expression warmed as he remembered. “I saw you wandering a place with walls upon walls of brightly colored boxes with pictures of food on them... the place was so intensely lit, shining whiter than any fire I have ever seen...” He glanced back at the path ahead every so often as he spoke. “You were pushing some sort of cart, and placing the boxes inside it.”

I furrowed my brow as I listened to his description, trying to figure out what he was describing. “I think you saw me in a grocery store,” I concluded.

“A grocery store?” he asked slowly, tilting his head in interest. “What is that?”

I smiled. “It’s a store where you can buy food to prepare. Like a market. Those boxes are pre-prepared food, though.”

He laughed. “Even in dreams, you are lazy.”

“I’m not lazy!” I said indignantly, wishing I was close enough to smack him.

He smiled. “I saw you with friends once. You were at a beach, laughing and swimming.” He looked ahead, recalling the memory. He turned his gaze back to me carefully when he said, “And I saw a man and woman demanding to know your future.” He creased his brow. “They questioned your plans, where you would work... But I ended the dream as soon as I realized how much it distressed you.”

“You _ended_ it?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

He looked at the path ahead again. “I spun you a new dream, where you were learning to ride a horse in Skyhold.”

“Why that?” I tilted my head curiously.

He smiled. “Because I knew you enjoyed it.”

“Oh... well, thank you,” I said, my face feeling a little warm.

“I dislike seeing you upset,” he said frankly, keeping his eyes forward. “I will never enter your dreams again, if you wish,” he added quietly.

I nodded. “I’m sorry... I just feel uncomfortable about it.”

He looked at me, his face completely serious. “You do not need to hide anything from me, _da’len_.”

“That’s not true,” I said softly, looking down at my horse’s mane again.

“I would never judge you,” he said determinedly.

I doubted that, but it was nice of him to say. “Well... maybe I’ll reconsider.” I looked at the path ahead.

He nodded. “Please do.”

I smiled, shaking my head a little. I glanced back at him. “There _are_ things I’d like to show you.”

He returned a grin. “And I am certain I’d enjoy them.”

I didn’t say anything else after that, thinking about what I _would_ show him. What did Solas need to see from the real world?

 

*****

 

We finally reached the Hinterlands by nightfall. Our group stayed at the Forest Camp that night, and the Requisition Officer observed me curiously, but didn’t ask any questions.

There were two tents to share, and it was then that I realized how awkward it was that I was with only men. When the four of us had been travelling, we had all slept side-by-side, and no discomfort was ever had. So when Varric had gone to bed, choosing the first tent, I whispered to Solas, “Can I stay in your tent, _hahren_?”

Solas tilted his head in interest. “Of course, _da’len_ ,” he answered.

I nodded. “Okay, I’m going to bed then.” I nodded to Iron Bull, who gave me a sly grin. _What are you thinking, ya horny perv???_ (because _he_ has horns, duh) I ducked into the second tent.

Once inside, I set my longbow and quiver on the ground. I removed my hunter coat, keeping on only my underclothing (which were pretty much like pajamas). I settled myself in one of the bedrolls, shifting around to try to find a comfortable position. _Just like camping!_ I thought, trying to console myself and _not_ think about the bugs... animals...  _bandits..._

The noise of the tent flap opening behind me caused me to turn around in the roll. Solas came in, placing his staff on the ground near my bow. He was wearing his apostate gear since he didn’t see the Keeper Robes as necessary for this journey (we weren’t expecting much difficult combat, plus he hated wearing them). I watched as he removed his jacket, giant belt thing, wolfy necklace...

“Am I _so_ entertaining, _da’len_?” he mocked, smiling slightly at me as he met my stare. When he was down to his tunic and breeches, he laid down in the roll beside mine.

“I’m really excited,” I said, thinking about tomorrow and ignoring his question.

“I am glad my undressing pleased you so,” he teased.

“That’s not what I meant!” I said, pulling my arm out of the covers to hit him. “I’ve never been to the Hinterlands,” I told him. _IRL, that is_.

He smiled sweetly at me, his bald head resting on his pillow. “The land itself is not so remarkable, however there are hints of history scattered across these parts that fascinate me.”

I smiled back at him. “Remnants of a thousand-year-old dream?” I asked, eyebrow in the air.

Solas chuckled softly. “If I am lucky.” _What an old man._

“Are you going into the Fade tonight?” I wondered.

“Yes,” he said plainly. “I travel it every night.”

“Mmm,” I hummed, rolling to my back. “Sounds nice.” I examined the fabric of the tent-ceiling. It was made of some sort of thick cloth. _Is it even waterproof?_

“It is,” he conceded quietly, referring to my out-loud-comment ( _not_ the tent cloth being waterproof because I had thought that in my head and that would be really freaky if he could read my thoughts and _oh, my god_ , _can_ he read my thoughts, and was he reading them right now and has he been reading them this whole time???). No. That would be crazy. ( _oh god_ )

I closed my eyes, pushing the paranoia away and thinking instead of what Solas might find in the Hinterlands Fade. I mean, this place was like the most boring area in _DA: Inquisition_. It just went on _forever_. Trees and bears and random bandits. _Snoozeville_.

I started to drift to sleep, tired from the day’s excursion. Horseback riding took a lot more energy than I thought.

“ _Da’len_?” Solas asked me faintly, bringing me back to consciousness.

“Hmmmm?” I mumbled, eyes still closed.

“Do you miss your home?” His voice was gentle.

I opened my eyes and turned my head to see him. He was still facing towards me, watching.

“Yes,” I answered honestly. “But not always... I like it here.” I smiled at him. “And I like spending time with you.”

Solas looked sad then, his features forming a slight frown. He reached out with his hand to touch my arm, since it was still lying on top of my blanket. He gently stroked my skin, before resting his hand on mine. A small smile spread across his face.

“I do, as well,” he said softly.

I smiled back at him and curled my fingers around his hand. I somehow fell asleep like that, even though there was a giant rock poking into my side. I was sure to be sore in the morning. _Camping sucks_. Well... _most_ of it.

 

*****

 

I walked into an ice cream parlor, the bell on the door ringing gently. The shop had pink walls and pristine white floor tiles. I walked straight to all the colorful flavors, protected in a glass covering. I concentrated hard on which one to choose. There were plenty of options: rocky road, chocolate-strawberry swirl, bourbon vanilla... but I saw mint chocolate chip, and I knew I had to choose that one. I looked up to the shop employee, and it was Solas. He had a little hat on his bald head and was wearing a pink apron over a white collared shirt. He was smiling, looking eager with a scooper in hand.

I pointed to the mint chip, and he scooped some out on a cone for me. “Excellent choice,” he said, giving me a wink. I took the cone from him and licked it immediately. It tasted so good, cool and sweet, but the chocolate chips were too sharp, almost painful. It felt like teeth were raking against my tongue. I kept eating it anyway though, it hurt so _good_.

“Anna,” a voice said behind me. I turned around to see regular Solas, wearing what he always wore. And then I realized I couldn’t taste the ice cream at all, and I wasn’t even holding a cone.

“Solas?” I asked, confused by the situation.

“I have invaded your dreams again, _da’len_ ,” he said calmly, eyeing the other elf behind the counter. He looked back towards me. “I will not do it again unless you ask, but you mentioned wanting to show me your realm.”

“Oh,” I said, realizing it was a dream. I glanced around the parlor. _Can I still get more ice cream?_

Solas continued to hold his gaze on me. “I understand you cannot control your dreams as I can, but you have been able to show me things before...”

I nodded, looking back at him. “Yes.”

“Will you show me something of your world?” he asked, his eyes practically begging.

Maybe it was because I was in my dream-state, but for some reason I didn’t care that Solas had broken into my dream again. I stood there, considering his question, but only for a second, really. “Okay!” I smiled and closed my eyes, thinking of something to show him.

When I opened them, the scene had changed, and we were standing in snow, near the edge of a large lake. It was nighttime, but there were bright colorful lights in the sky.

“What is this?” Solas asked immediately, staring at the sky. “Is there a breach in your sky? Is that how you came to Thedas? Through a breach in your world?”

I laughed, shaking my head. “No, it’s aurora borealis. It happens naturally in my world,” I explained. “Although, not where I live,” I added.

Solas took a step towards the lights, wanting to see them closer. “It’s incredible,” he remarked. The colors were dancing reflections in his eyes.

“I’ve never actually seen them in reality,” I said quietly. “Only recordings... but I’d like to see them someday.” I laughed, looking at a very-real version now. “The Fade is amazing, really.”

The lights shifted from purples to greens, pinks and yellows. I was sure they were moving faster than they were supposed to, most likely a result of my imagination. Stars glowed dimly behind them, and the lights slowly changed to blues and teals. It looked alive, like spirits moving along the night sky.

“They’re beautiful,” Solas said, and he tenderly took my hand in his, still looking up. His fingers were warm.

“We call them the Northern Lights. It occurs in certain parts of our atmosphere,” I told him, still watching the sky.

He squeezed my hand gently. “Thank you for showing me them, Anna.”

“I always thought the Breach kinda looked like this,” I explained. “But these lights aren’t dangerous. And people even journey far to see them.”

“If only our breach was so,” he remarked sadly, still gazing at the glimmering colors.

I shrugged, looking at him. “Yes, but then it wouldn’t have united so many people into fighting against it. The Inquisition wouldn’t exist.”

His thumb lightly stroked my hand, his eyes on the sky. “But there are far less deadly ways to unite people, _da’len_.”

“Yeah, but not as effectively,” I countered. I looked at the glistening lights again. “It always takes a tragedy to get people to really think, to see the problems within their society.”

“Why did you show me this, Anna?” he asked, gaze still on the aurora.

“I’m not really sure,” I answered truthfully. “I guess to show you... there is always beauty to be found, even when the world is dark. You just have to know where to look.” _Gods, I’m cheesy._

Solas turned to me, standing in my view with the lights shimmering behind him. “You are so... positive, Anna. It astounds me.” He looked deeply into my eyes. “Is everyone from your world like you?”

“I don’t know... not really,” I said, shrugging. “But I wouldn’t say I’m unique or anything. There _are_ so many of us...”

“But you _are_ unique, Anna,” he argued softly, touching his hand to my face. “I have never met anyone like you.”

I blinked up at him. “That’s probably because you never give anyone the chance to really know them.”

He smiled. “I’m glad I did for you.”

I smiled back, but then he and the whole scene started to melt away into blackness.

 

*****

 

I woke up naturally, the morning light seeping in through the seams of the tent. I realized I was still holding Solas’ hand in real life and my heart leapt a little, putting butterflies in my stomach. He was still sleeping peacefully beside me, although now lying on his back.

I lightly thumbed his fingers, my hand feeling excitedly electrified by the touch. I stared at his profile, the angular way his chiseled cheekbones gently curved into his chin... his lips...  _Damnit_ , I thought. _I was staring at his lips again._

They parted slightly as I watched, and I became completely mesmerized by the movement. Was he still watching the Northern Lights? Or did it just disappear when I woke up?

Whatever his dream was, it soon ended, as he slowly opened his eyes. He blinked a view times, registering his surroundings. Solas turned his head towards mine. His expression warmed into a half smile. “Good morning, Anna,” he whispered.

 _He likes spending time with me_ , I thought to myself, remembering last night. _He’s glad he met me._

I felt my face warm as he gazed upon me, his eyes following the shapes of my face. He removed his hand from mine and lifted it towards my face, brushing some hair away from it. I still didn’t say anything and found myself holding my breath.

He moved his hand to the back of my head, gently stroking my hair. It stopped, resting itself there, until I realized he was slowly pulling, drawing me nearer to him.

I found myself unconsciously moving as well, inching closer to his body. His eyes were locked with mine, hypnotizing and transfixing me to him. Soon we were only inches apart, and I could feel his warmth against my skin. “Solas,” I let out in a barely audible moan.

Then suddenly there was a loud noise, breaking the spell between us. “Are we gonna get this show on the road or what?!” I heard Varric’s husky voice outside say.

Solas jerked his body backwards, letting go of my face. He quickly got up, gathering his things and exiting the tent without another word, leaving me alone.

I sat up, taking deep breaths as I tried to calm down from what had just happened.

Which, in reality, was practically nothing, especially to an elf-god, right? I shook my head, trying to rid myself of the nervousness and excitement I was feeling.

It seemed I was quite taken by the Dread Wolf.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You bet, kiddo.


	41. Measuring the Fail

I quickly got myself ready, putting on my coat, bow, and quiver of arrows. When I opened the tent-flap, I saw Varric, Bull, and Solas standing near our mounts, ready and waiting for me to go. “Come on, Sleepy!” Varric said, waving me over.

“Sorry!” I said, rushing over. The dwarf handed me the reins to my horse. I stole a glance at Solas, but he was already on his mount, looking out into the distance.

The moment I was on my mare and ready, the mission became nonstop. Solas expertly led us through the Hinterlands, navigating its forests like he had mapped it out in the Fade...

“Solas?” I called from my mount to his.

He didn’t respond, only keeping his eyes forward, still focused on the path.

“Did you find out where to go from the Fade?” I shout-asked him. He was ahead of me, so I could only stare at the back of his bald head.

The corner of his mouth turned up into a smile, but he still didn’t answer. _Knew it_.

As we rode, my eyes constantly burned into that egg’s head. _Did that really happen this morning?_ I almost kissed an elven god. _Solas_. _Fen’Harel_.

I wanted to ask him about it, but bringing it up felt beyond embarrassing, for both of us. And besides...  _what if he wasn’t trying to kiss me at all??_ What if I had just imagined it? It wouldn’t be the first time in my life I had misread a situation...

And I also couldn’t help thinking...  _was he still hurting about Lavellan?_

We stopped riding when we reached Redcliffe Farms, tethering our mares to a fence. Solas walked us to an abandoned house, sensing the presence of the ancient artifact. Once inside, he performed some magic on the vessel, bringing it back to life.

“The Veil should be stronger now,” he remarked, looking at the object.

I gazed at the elven artifact in wonder. “So cool,” I said quietly, bending closer to examine the orb. I perked up and looked at Solas. “How do you sense these things, anyway?”

Solas’ eyes shifted quickly to the others, making me realize that it must be some ancient elvhen capability. I mouthed _sorry_ to him, but he shook his head and responded, “I can feel it pulling at the Veil, an emptiness that feels misplaced.”

I nodded in understanding. “I wish I could feel it, too.”

“It requires very specific abilities, _da’len_ ,” he replied, looking at our companions outside the house.

“Yeah, I figured,” I said, indifferently. _Sigh_. I would never have any magic like Solas or Lavellan. I turned to leave the building to join Varric and Bull.

“Anna, wait,” Solas said, tugging at my coat.

I spun around to look at him, raising an eyebrow and holding my breath.

“I... I thought...” he trailed off, his eyes searching my face for something. He almost looked pained.

“Looks like the orby thing is working,” Bull interrupted behind us. “Can we go? I’m itching to hunt some assholes.” _Like Dorian’s? Snort_.

I looked at Solas, who still wasn’t finishing his sentence. The wolf had been acting strange since this morning, avoiding eye contact with me when possible. It was like he had made a mistake in that tent earlier, and now I felt embarrassed for thinking anything more of it.

I observed his face longer, waiting for him to speak. His brow only furrowed slightly, and he swallowed, looking down at me with heavy unease. _You regret it_. He didn’t need to explain.

I walked past him, joining the others and leaving the speechless hobo.

We continued on, riding towards Lornan’s Exile, with Solas in the lead. I was riding slowest in the group, trailing behind the others. I wasn’t that great at horseback riding, as you could surely imagine...

The Hinterlands looked pretty much exactly like it does in the game, and I thought it was funny how well I remembered the map. I had spent so many hours in this place, especially the first time I had ever played, attempting to complete every quest that came my way. I knew exactly where Solas was bringing us. So well, in fact, I could have easily led the group myself (and probably faster, although I wasn’t sure how well _real_ -horses could handle cliff drops...).

Solas was pretty much ignoring me, either brushing off my conversation with curt answers or not even answering at all. It made me feel like _shit_. Especially after what we had been through together last night... It had been so _nice_.

And I was equally feeling annoyed at myself for being so depressed over it. _He’s a friggin’ video game character_ , I derided myself over and over again.

Iron Bull fell behind to ride by my side. “You okay, kid?” he asked me, tilting his horny head ( _pfft_ ).

I shrugged. “Yeah, why?” A ram caught my attention as we galloped along, fleeing the scene as we neared it.

“You seem a bit...  _quieter_ than normal,” he said, observing me closely.

I shrugged again. “The Hinterlands are kinda boring,” I said nonchalantly. “I was hoping for more excitement, I guess.”

“Ah,” the Bull said, smiling slightly. “Did something happen between you and the apostate?”

My eyes darted at the Qunari. “No!” I said quickly, and probably too loudly. “Why would you ask that??”

Iron Bull laughed. “Spy, remember?” he said, pointing to himself.

“ _Well_ , I can see why they kicked you out,” I said smiling (and secretly hoping he wouldn’t be all butt-hurt about referencing his Tal-Vashoth status), “because you’re _really_ bad at it.”

Bull laughed again. “You keep telling yourself that, kid.”

We soon arrived at the fortress. The Winterwatch Tower was huge, with tall stone walls that had partially decayed away. We had to dismount, leaving our horses outside the keep. _If they would only friggin’ open the gate all the way, we could actually_ bring _our horses in_ , I thought bitterly.

The place was full of cultists, all talking amongst themselves. _Andraste, Maker, your word be done!_ They were saying all sorts of cult-y things.

As we entered the gate, I pulled on Solas’ coat, glancing at the far end of the fortress. “Is there still a rift here?” I asked him.

Solas shook his head. “No, it has been closed.”

I lifted an eyebrow. “Then _why_ didn’t you activate the artifact then??” _Waste of time, IMO_.

The elf huffed in annoyance. “It is not always so discernible.”

“Some god _you_ are.” _What a noob._ Everyone knows you need to check out the whole area before leaving!

“ _Da’len, please_ ,” he said, eyeing our companions cautiously.

I rolled my eyes and walked off, observing the giant Andraste statue instead.

Solas sensed the artifact somewhere on the upper level, and led our gang throughout the fortress. He started climbing up a ladder, and the others followed suit, but I stopped at the bottom. _No_ way _am I doing that_.

The ladder was huge and tall and perfectly vertical, and I was _definitely_ not confident in climbing it. I would probably be fine, but it’s not like _I_ really had to be present to turn the stupid artifact on. That hobo could do it perfectly well by himself. “I’m just gonna go to the tavern instead!” I called to my companions, who were all almost up the ladder.

“If you do not want to climb, _da’len_ , then remain where you are until we return,” Solas suggested from above me.

“Nah, I’ll be fine! I’ll just be over there...” I walked off before waiting for a response. As I made my way over, I saw a little bag on the floor with coins spilling out of it. _Siiiick!_ So people really _do_ leave their money lying around! I scooped up the loot and waltzed my way over, proud over my sudden accruement of some unfortunate person’s gold.

I stepped into the keep’s tavern, which was bustling with robed people. “Walk with the Maker,” they kept whispering to me continuously. _How much more culty can they get??_

“Uh, thanks?” I replied. I made my way up the stairs to the upper level, since it had a nicer view. One of the tables was mostly empty, so I poured myself a glass of wine (it seemed like it was a free-for-all, much to my inner alcoholic’s delight) and sat down at a chair on the end.

I sipped the wine slowly and marveled at how _good_ the beverage tasted. I looked at the wine bottle: _Vint-9 Rowan's Rose_. The good stuff. _Nice_.

I started drinking a little faster, since the taste was so much more pleasing than the ale Cabot usually served. _What you trying to pull, ya cheap dwarf??_

My mind wandered to Solas, wondering what he thought of me. I was probably just overreacting, right? He was just really, really (unnecessarily) focused on those elven artifacts. Nothing had changed between us... right?

But it _was_ so unusual for him to avoid me so pointedly, so much so that even Bull had noticed. Solas hadn’t done that to me since just after his breakup with Lavellan...

 _Stupid friggin’ hobo-god!_ I rubbed my temples with my fingers. _I’m in a video game_ , I kept reminding myself. _I can’t forget that_.

Although... what if I never _did_ leave... and this was just my life now...  _forever..._

What would be so wrong with dating a few-thousand-year-old elf? _Everything. Fucking_ everything. _I’m such a freak_.

A person at the other end of the table sighed. “You waiting for someone, too?” he asked me.

I looked up. He was a cultist, wearing the velvety, decorated robes they all seemed to sport. “Not _exactly_ ,” I answered, thinking of the baldy.

The man moved to a seat closer to me. “I’m waiting for my lover, Vellina. Have you heard any word of her?” he asked desperately. _Oh,_ I thought. _This guy_. The “Love Waits” quest guy.

I shook my head, feeling sorry for him. “Sorry, I haven’t.”

He smiled bitterly. “It was worth an ask.” He looked me in the eye. “I am Berand.”

I nodded. “Anna,” I said, gesturing to myself. This poor guy seemed so sad... “Have you been waiting a long time for her?” I asked him.

He nodded slowly, taking a drink. “Yes,” he said quietly. “Months now.”

 _Months?!_ “That’s awful,” I commiserated. The Inquisitor should hurry up and finish these side quests, already!

“I keep wondering... is she alive? Is she captured? Did she just flee with someone else?” he said in an anguished voice.

I wondered if I should tell him that she was really just dead, but I doubted I could properly handle his grief. He had been waiting so long for her... and only to discover she was dead all along? Such a sad story.

“Things don’t always work out the way we hoped,” I said simply, hoping to ease him a little.

He nodded, resting his cheek on his hand. “I always felt so blessed that she loved me. That _she_ chose _me_ ,” he said.

I smiled softly at him. “She probably doesn’t mean to keep you waiting; I’m sure there’s a good reason,” I said, trying to comfort him.

He shrugged. “Perhaps...” he took another sip. “Or maybe she just doesn’t love me anymore. Maybe she never did,” he said into his glass.

I was about to respond, when a bald head bobbing up the stairs caught my attention. Solas was walking up, along with Varric and Bull. “Oh,” I said to Berand. “That’s who I was waiting for... so...”

He nodded. “At least he came for _you_.” He got up and left, all depressed. _Such a_ downer.

“Since we’re _here_ ,” Bull said when he got to my table, “let’s have a drink!” Varric nodded, agreeing enthusiastically.

“I do not believe that would be wise. We must—” Solas argued.

“Just _one_ , Chuckles!” Varric said, clapping Solas on the back. He and Iron Bull poured themselves some wine, settling into my table.

Solas rubbed his neck, obviously disagreeing with the decision. He sighed and sat next to me. “What are you drinking, _da’len_?” he asked me casually.

I didn’t answer, but got up and walked over to the balcony, ignoring him. After talking to Berand, I felt like being alone. I leaned on the balcony, my arms resting on the railing. I had taken my glass with me, but it was almost empty. I sighed.

Lavellan and Solas were meant to be together. I _had_ to remember that. Even if I had _created_ her...  _controlled_ her..... _made_ all the decisions for her that Solas so admired........

“Are you angry with me, Anna?” Solas asked, appearing at my side.

“No,” I said quietly (and slightly indignant). I looked out into the courtyard. The cultists were all bowing and praying to the statue of Andraste.

“Then what is it?” he pried, gently touching my elbow. The contact electrified my body.

 _Did he really not know? Was it all in my head?_ I swallowed, trying to calm myself. “I’m worried,” I said, closing my eyes briefly. I turned towards him, looking up at his face. “What if I never go home?”

Solas looked very troubled from my statement. He squeezed my arm, pulling me slightly towards him. Ever so slightly. I tried to ignore it.

“I will help you find a way,” he consoled, softly rubbing my arm. _Did he always touch me this much???_

“Thanks,” I said coldly, looking back towards the courtyard. I knew he could sympathize with losing one’s home, so his pity was expected. _Nothing special_.

“ _Da’len_ ,” he said apprehensively, “perhaps it is better if you stay in the Requisition Officer’s tent tonight... she is also a human female, so you may be more comfortable.”

My face suddenly got very red. “ _You’re_ the only one I feel comfortable with, _hahren_ ,” I said hotly.

He raised an eyebrow. “Are you quite certain? I thought it more agreeable—”

“Fine!” I said in a low, angry voice. “If you want to get rid of me that bad, I’ll stay in the other tent!” I stormed off, ripping my arm from his grasp. I felt hot with embarrassment, rushing away from him as fast as possible. I marched my way all the way downstairs, heading off to the mounts.

 _Fuck that wolf_.


	42. Abandoned

I didn’t wait or even glance back at my companions. I hurried off to my mare, mounting and riding back to the nearest camp (Dwarfson’s Pass). I didn’t need anyone to show me the way—I had played _that_ many friggin’ hours in the Hinterlands.

When I finally reached the camp, the Requisition Officer looked at me oddly. “Uh, hello, miss?” she greeted, clearly perplexed at who I was. “Are you with the Inquisition?”

I sighed, frustrated. “Yes, my name’s Anna, and I’m helping the Inquisition.” The officer still had this look of confusion on her face. “I have _insight_ ,” I told her, exacerbated.

She raised an eyebrow. “I see,” she replied. “I’d just thought you were a rogue hunter.”

I laughed awkwardly, remembering the bow and quiver hanging from my back. _I guess it would be easier to just say that from now on_. “Insight” was a little weird.

I removed my gear, stretching a bit from the absence of my medium armor. Leaving my coat and bow on the ground near a tent, I walked out of some nearby ruined stone arch, continuing on until I came to a little clearing surrounded by rocks.                                   

The breeze was cool against my skin, and without my armor, it was slightly chilly. _I hate this place_ , I thought. How could I ever had thought coming out here would be a good idea?

I sat down in the tall grass, my back pressed to a rock’s mossy surface. _Stupid Solas_. It felt like he had rejected me, even though there was technically nothing _to_ reject. Sigh. Unrequited feelings. When had my life become so dramatic?

I heard horses galloping nearby and voices in discussion. It didn't surprise me soon after to hear footsteps behind me. I closed my eyes, willing myself away to the Fade. But I was no elf-god. Sadly, I had no such ability.

“ _Da’len_ ,” Solas said softly, kneeling at my side before me. “ _Don’t_ ever do that again,” he scolded. “If you must run off, _at least_ take someone with you.”

I brought my knees to my head, burying my face in them. “What do _you_ care?” I said quietly to my pants.

“I care a great deal for your safety; you know this,” he told me, his voice _annoyingly_ calm.

“You don’t give a _wolf’s tail_ about me,” I told him stupidly. I was emotional, okay?

“That is not true,” he corrected. “And that does not make sense, either. I am the Dread Wolf. Wolf tails are rather important to me.”

 _WTF?_ I looked up at him in disbelief. He was smiling at me, his joke now obvious.

“As are you,” he said gently, touching my face. “Do not forget this, _da’len_.”

His eyes looked so warm, and for a second, I thought maybe everything would be okay. I touched his hand on my face, pressing it closer into my cheek. He retreated it suddenly, standing up. “You should eat before resting tonight, _da’len_ ,” he told me, turning away. “We leave for Skyhold at sunrise.”

He left the clearing, leaving me to myself. I rested my head back on my knees with fresh embarrassment. This little trip sucked.

I slept in the Requisition Officer’s tent that night.

 

*****

 

The following morning we made our way back to Skyhold. I pointedly ignored Solas. I’m pretty sure he noticed. But he still acted ignorant. _Whatever, I’m totally cool, too. I don’t care at all... not one single bit._

“Venatori,” Bull said, looking ahead at some men coming into sight.

“Okay, Sleepy, _stay here_ this time, alright?” Varric warned.

I nodded. “Will do.” I looked at the men they were about to pounce on. The Venatori were just chillin’, hanging out like friends. It made me feel kinda bad. Did they really have to fight them? _I guess they would attack regardless._

The dwarf, elf, and Qunari headed into battle, and I stayed out of the way as promised. I tied the horses to a skinny-ish tree, patting the animals on the sides. “We live the quiet life over here,” I told them.

Suddenly there was a hand across my mouth, and an arm across my shoulders, gripping me painfully tight. “ _Don’t move_ ,” a deadly voice whispered into my ear.

I definitely _couldn’t_. A wave of terror and panic overtook my body, making me completely still. And that was _before_ he started using magic on me. He jolted lightning through his hands, causing my body to go completely straight from the shock. _Ow_. It wasn’t enough to kill, but it still hurt.

He started walking backwards with me, away from the horses and the fight nearby. “Your friends are powerful,” the spellbinder whispered. “You might be my only chance to survive.”

 _Man_. Was I a hostage now?? This trip sucked to no end!!

I awkwardly stepped backwards with him, fumbling a bit from his grasp. As we were backing away ( _to where?_ I don’t know what this stupid fuck had in mind), I could see the skirmish, and my companions were nearly finished with the last Venatori fighter.

The three of them soon turned back to our direction, instantly noticing my capture. “She’ll die if you move!” the Venatori threatened.

I couldn’t say anything because he still had his gloved hand clasped on my mouth, but I could clearly see the group pause. I glanced at Solas, and he looked fucking pissed. Like _psycho_ pissed.

In a shimmer he disappeared, and I heard something snap behind me. The man released his clutch, causing me to fumble forward to the ground. Solas helped me to my feet, and I looked at the Venatori. He was now lying dead on the ground, his head unnaturally twisting from his body. _Ugh_.

“ _Da’len_ ,” he said, bringing my attention from the dead guy. “Please be careful.” He was still holding the arm he had helped me up by. He looked pretty sad...

“Thanks,” I said coldly, pulling my arm out of his reach. “But I was fine,” I lied.

“Anna, you could not have possibly—” he started, suddenly aggravated.

“Nice one, Chuckles,” Varric said uneasily, approaching us with Iron Bull in tow. “I’ve never seen you do _that_ move before.”

“Yeah, Solas, you’re very...  _lethal_ with your hands,” Bull observed. “I thought you would have just zapped him or something.”

Solas didn’t say anything, and merely narrowed his eyes angrily at me. I walked back to my horse, jumping on. “Can we get going?” I asked, staring at the road. The group all mounted. I didn’t speak for the rest of the day.

 

*****

 

When we camped that night, we all ate some weird Qunari stew that Bull insisted was the best dish to ever be made in Thedas ( _it wasn’t..._ ). But he had worked so hard gathering the ingredients and cooking it for us, we all indulged.

“ _Da’len_ , may I have a word?” Solas asked me.

I didn’t answer, continuing to look down at my bowl, swirling my spoon around. It was a pretty watery stew, with lots of various leaves floating around in it and bits of rabbit.

“I must speak with you, Anna,” Solas said impatiently.

“Then speak,” I said flatly, my eyes still fixed on the soup. I ventured another spoonful. _Not tasting any better..._

“I would rather converse privately,” he insisted.

“Well, I’m still eating,” I said, annoyed.

“Then I shall wait.”

I ate as slowly as possible, dragging out every mouthful and purposely chewing until it was practically only liquid again. Solas sat beside me patiently, glowing eyes watching the fire. I eventually finished, and as much as I pretended to continuously scrape the bottom of the bowl, Solas noticed and gestured for me to follow him.

I remained seated for a few moments before reluctantly walking towards him. He led us a few paces away from the camp, just out of the others’ hearing. “What do you want?” I asked aggravatedly.

He furrowed his brow. “Why are you so angry with me?”

“Why do you keep ignoring me??” I demanded, raising my voice a little and crossing my arms.

“I am not ignoring you,” he said sharply, his hands (stupidly) linked behind his back. “I was the one who asked to speak with you.”

I exhaled. “But you’ve been avoiding me whenever possible!” I said, lifting my hands into the air heatedly.

Solas remained standing there calmly. “I do not want you behaving recklessly,” he said, evading the accusation.

I rolled my eyes.

“You _still_ cannot defend yourself,” he argued. “It is too dangerous for you to act carelessly.”

“You think I’m _so_ stupid, don’t you?! Like I can’t handle myself at all!” My voice was getting louder with each word.

Solas shook his head. “That is not tr—” he began.

“I’m so sick of your shit, Solas!” I put my hands on my head, pulling at my hair.  “Always hiding and running away and avoiding problems!”

He narrowed his eyes considerably on me. “I don’t know what you are talking about.”

“Oh, _please_!” I said, laughing sarcastically. “You know _exactly_ what I’m talking about! You never want to deal with things when they get complicated, you just LEAVE!”

He shook his head confusedly. “Anna, you—”

“You left your people, you left Lavellan, and now you’re leaving ME!” I shouted, not caring if the others heard me.

His eyes widened in disbelief. “You _know_ that was—”

“Whatever!! I don’t want to hear it!” I screamed, and started running away, tears streaming down my cheeks.

I didn’t get very far before Solas Fade-Stepped by me and grabbed my arm. “Go back to camp, immediately!” he snapped angrily at me.

“Just leave me alone!” I cried.

He fumed and in an instant we were back at camp, standing near the fire. “Fine!” he said angrily under his breath, waving his hand.

And in an instant the world went black.

 

*****

 

I awoke the next morning from a dreamless sleep. The moment consciousness hit, I was so angry at Solas for force-sleeping me I screamed.

The others were already awake it seemed, and they all jumped. Bull and Varric turned to me with confused expressions. “Bad dream, Sleepy?”

“Let’s get back to Skyhold already,” I said quietly. We headed off.

 

*****

 

The four of us arrived at Skyhold that evening, with the sun nearly set. I headed straight for my room, but the First Enchanter stopped me along the way.

“A word, darling?” Vivienne asked me, the moment I had stepped into the grand hall.

“Oh, Vivienne? Um, sure...”

“Madame de Fer,” she corrected, and began walking somewhere for me to follow. Vivienne _never_ tried to talk to me (I’m pretty sure she hated me). What was this about?

Once we had stepped onto her balcony, she turned to me. “Anna, dear, I am sure you know about my recent excursion with the Inquisitor to the Emprise du Lion.”

“Um... yes?”  _So?_

“Have you heard about how our time went there?” Vivienne said, standing very upright with her hands clasped together at her stomach.

I shrugged, not caring. “I guess not? What happened?”

“It was... _successful_ , for the most part,” the enchanter said uneasily. “However, we were very lucky. The Inquisitor nearly perished.”

“What?!” I asked, surprised.

Vivienne exhaled, her chin slightly raised. “She behaved recklessly the entire time, throwing herself into battle carelessly. It is a miracle that she still lives.”

“Oh, shit.”

She raised a brow. “I’m sure you are aware of why?”

“Uh...” _Because she’s a crazy mofo when I’m not controlling her?_

Vivienne tilted her head in a disbelieving sort of way. “Our elven apostate, dear?”

“Oh,” I said stupidly.

“And I know the two of you are close.” She eyed me carefully.

I looked out over the balcony. “I guess...” I said quietly.

“Is there any way you may speak to him about this situation?” Vivienne suggested. “Have him talk to Inquisitor Lavellan about what happened?”

“Um... I don’t know...” I said, scratching my head awkwardly.

“The Inquisitor cannot fight this way with Corypheus,” she said impatiently. “It is simply _too_ dangerous, and the fate of the world depends upon it.”

I sighed. “Can’t _you_ just talk to him instead?”

She laughed incredulously. “Anna, dear, you cannot be serious. Solas and I are on terrible terms.”

“Well... we aren’t exactly on good terms either,” I said, looking towards the ground now.

Vivienne’s hands dropped to her sides, her patience reaching its limits. “This is not about you, Anna,” she chided. “This is about closing the Breach indefinitely and defeating that horrible magister. We need the Inquisitor at her best.”

I nodded. “Okay... I’ll try.” _She’s right_.

I left, but didn’t do as Vivienne had asked right away. Instead, I went to lie in my bed. Hot tears stained my pillow, but I eventually fell asleep.

 

*****

 

I woke up, and it was pitch black in my room. And I was starving. I tried to fall back asleep, but the hunger was killing me. I groaned and reluctantly sat up, rubbing my eyes and adjusting them to the darkness.

I was still wearing my clothes (although not my hunter coat), so I just left my room as I was. I slowly walked the corridor, making my way to the main hall of Skyhold. There would probably still be food, right?

I had no idea how late it was, but I figured it must have been the middle of the night or something. I didn’t see anyone else around, either, so it must have been really late.

I made it to the hall, and it still had candles lit and food out. _Thank you thank you thank you_.

The room was almost empty, except for two people: Bull and Dorian. They waved me over when they noticed my presence. “Anna, it’s been a while!” Dorian exclaimed warmly.

I sat down across from the pair. “Yo,” I greeted. I quickly grabbed a plate and started piling on the works.

“Bull tells me you haven’t been your usual cheery self of late,” Dorian said inquiringly.

“Oh really?” I asked, my mouth full of some random meat. Pheasant? _What does pheasant even taste like?_

“She’s still upset about the apostate,” Iron Bull explained.

I didn’t answer, just looked down at my food and chewed.

Dorian laughed. “Oh, Anna, sweet thing. You really should not concern yourself with that unwashed hobo.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I mumble-lied.

“He’s terribly unsocial, you know,” Dorian said, ignoring me. “Whatever he did, I’m sure he’s completely unaware.”

I continued to chew, still looking down.

“No, he knows,” Bull corrected, biting into an apple. “But you still shouldn’t care, kid.”

I sighed. “I just don’t get him. He’s so hot and cold.”

Dorian raised an eyebrow. “ _Really_? I’ve only ever seen the cold.”

I shrugged. “Well, it doesn’t matter anymore. He won’t talk to me.”

“That’s also not true,” Bull corrected again.

I exhaled loudly. I _so_ didn’t want to talk about this. “I’ll see you guys around.” I left my half-eaten plate and went outside. I needed some fresh air. I started walking down the steps slowly, the cool breeze felt nice against my skin. It was pretty dark out, and the torches outside all seemed to be dying out. No one was around.

I continued my way down the steps, taking each one carefully. When I reached the bottom, I glanced around the courtyard, but my body froze when I saw two white pointy-eared heads with glowing eyes sitting on a bench across the yard.

I squinted to see it was Solas and Lavellan, talking quietly to each other. I held my breath as I observed how close they sat, and soon they were...  _hugging_.

I suddenly felt sick to my stomach. Like the whole world came crashing down, completing a puzzle I had never wanted to finish. I turned on my heel and quietly and quickly ran away.

 _Right. Of course. Lavellan. Her... it was always going to be her._ How could I ever think any differently?

Once I was safely out of their view (although they seemed so...  _intimate_ , it seemed like they hadn’t noticed me at all), I walked a little faster, practically running. My vision started to blur from tears, even though I knew I had no right to cry. _This is stupid_.

I had finally done it. I had reunited the two of them. I had avenged all the broken hearts in the world! I should have been jumping for joy at achieving such an impossible feat.

But all I felt was pain.


	43. Through an Open Door

“Cassandra, can I hit stuff with you?” I asked the Seeker, approaching her and the dummies in the Skyhold courtyard.

She turned around, lowering her sword. “You wish to learn sword combat?”

I shrugged. “Yeah, if it means I can hit stuff.”

She nodded, pleased with my interest in learning more defense. “Take this,” she said, handing me a weapon. She showed me how to hold it.

I held the sword like she suggested and swung at the dummy. _Stupid. Fucking. Egg,_ I thought with each swing.

Cassandra observed me hitting for a while. “Have you read the latest _Swords & Shields_?” she asked eventually (in a noticeably quieter voice than before).

I sighed. “No,” I said, shaking my head. “I’m sorry, Cassandra. I haven’t had the chance to catch up.”

She nodded, glancing around cautiously. “It is... very good,” she whispered. “I highly recommend it.”

I smiled. “Are they finally together?” I asked, pausing my swinging to look at her.

She laughed. “I will not tell _you_ that!” She whacked her own dummy. “You must find out for yourself.”

I smiled a little, loosening my grip on the sword. I then looked down at it, sighing. “Have you ever been in love, Cassandra?”

She stopped hitting her target to turn to me. “Yes,” she answered quietly. “A mage. He died at the Conclave.”

“Oh,” I said, turning my gaze to her. “I’m sorry.”

She nodded slightly. “Such things happen in times of war,” she said sadly, her mouth twitching a little.

“Mmmm,” I conceded. _Living in a video game sucks_. Anyone can die so easily.

The Seeker looked at her dummy again. “Was there a... particular reason you asked, Anna?” Cassandra carefully inquired.

“No, no reason,” I answered in a quiet, slightly shaky voice. _I’m not gonna cry_...

Cassandra raised an eyebrow. “I see,” she said. “I have _noticed_ things, you know.”

I swallowed, preparing for the worst. I focused my gaze on the stuffed head of the target.

“Real love is not like the stories,” she said softly. “It takes work, and time.”

I looked down at my sword again, asking quietly, “And what about one-sided love? What do you do about that?” I anchored the tip of the sword to the ground and spun the hilt in my hands.

“If you truly love a person, you must accept what brings him happiness, even if it is not you,” she said, watching me spin the sword uneasily.

My hands paused, looking up at the Seeker. “So you just accept it, then? That’s all you can do?”

“You cannot force yourself to stop loving a person, but you may learn from it,” she said, looking tenderly into my eyes. “It can teach you about yourself, and you may grow.”

 _What did_ I _have to learn?_ Not to fall for a video game character?!

I tried my best to smile. “Thanks, Cassandra.”

She nodded. “You may not be a fighter on the battlefield, but you are a fighter in the heart,” she said kindly.

I smiled at her words. “You really _should_ consider writing your own stories, you know.”

Cassandra blushed a little. “Oh, no... I could not... That would require...  _no..._ ”

I laughed. “Well, you really helped me, anyway. It was good to talk to you.”

She smiled, one corner of her mouth lifting slightly higher than the other. “I hope you finish _Swords & Shields_ soon. It may be more helpful to you than you think.”

I smiled. “Thanks for letting me hit stuff.”

Cassandra nodded, still smiling. “For you, Anna, anytime.”

I leaned the sword against a dummy and walked away. It had been a week since I saw Lavellan and Solas together, and I hadn’t talked to either of them since. I hadn’t actually talked to anyone, really. But today I had decided to venture outside my room (for something other than food, that is).

Solas had tried to talk to me, knocking on my door. I pretended I was asleep, even though he probably knew I wasn’t through some weird Fade ability or something. But I didn’t want to hear it. _None of this is real, anyway_.

The Inquisitor had left for the Arbor Wilds, taking Blackwall, Cole, and...  _Dorian_ , much to my surprise. I thought she would take Solas, but maybe she was switching up the party for new banter (that’s what _I_ would do, anyway).

I took a nice little walk around Skyhold, trying not to think about a certain baldy. Cassandra was right: if he was happy, then that was that. Nothing more to it.

I walked around until I found myself in the garden courtyard where Morrigan usually was. She was missing; off following Lavellan, I presumed.

There were a lot of people in this area, all sitting or standing around talking to each other. I took my sweet old time walking around the garden, looking at all the various plants. I came across some royal elfroot, growing so high it was as tall as me. _Give and take_ , I remembered.

I sighed and continued on, not wanting to think any more of it. I walked up some steps and saw the door to the room that held Morrigan’s eluvian. The witch wasn’t around, so I wondered if I could somehow use it...

I opened the door, walking straight up to the mirror. I touched its surface, but it was just glass. “ _Fen’Harel_ _enansal_ ,” I said quietly, hoping to unlock it.

And it _worked_. The eluvian sprang to life, glowing all blue and shit. I smiled. _Let’s do this!_

I stepped through the portal, feeling a momentary pull from all directions on my body as I passed. The world became eerily quiet as I walked into the Crossroads. It was so misty here, and it felt like my vision would randomly shift slightly, like an old television that wasn’t getting proper reception.

I looked around, observing the hundreds of eluvians around. _How far can I go with these mirrors?_ I wondered. Could I go to Tevinter? Rivain? Par Vollen??

I started moving towards another mirror, hoping for another portal. What was keeping me at Skyhold anyway? I knew how that story ended, did I really need to stick around? If I was going to be stuck in Thedas forever, I might as well get out of the south.

I approached a nearby eluvian, repeating the same password as earlier. Nothing happened. _Guess this one is broken_. I checked another and another. Nothing, nothing, nothing...

I exhaled loudly in frustration. _What the hell?!_

I walked even deeper into the Crossroads, hoping to find a working one. Soon, I was just shouting “ _FEN’HAREL ENANSAL! FEN’HAREL ENANSAL!!_ ” over and over like a crazy person, hoping that a mirror would just wake up as I went.

I started running, continuing my shouts. _Had I passed this mirror already?_ They all pretty much looked the same...

I came across one with a little Dread Wolf statue in front of it. “ _Fen’Harel enansal_ ,” I whispered cautiously. It didn’t wake up.

I sighed, sitting down beside it. “Your mirror’s broken, wolf,” I said to it. My mind wandered to Solas and Lavellan, finally together again. “But at least you found love.” I brought my knees to my face, leaning my head against them.

Although...  _I guess I found love, too_. “In a hopeless place,” I said aloud, laughing a little. _We found love in a hopeless place_. I bobbed my head a little, thinking of the Rihanna song.

I jumped up, suddenly feeling compelled to dance. “We found love in a hopeless place!” I sang at the top of my lungs. I bounced up and down, repeating the lyrics.

I danced around the Crossroads, singing as many of the words that I could remember. “It's the way I'm feeeeeling I just can't denyyyyy!” I shouted, laughing. I skipped from mirror to mirror, spinning around as I went, pointing at various statues.

I laughed, continuing to dance around. The Crossroads were completely deserted. _I can act however I want!_ No one was here to see. And stupid Thedas had no good dance music, so I needed this.

That silly wolf could love whoever he wanted, and so could I. I finished my little song, taking some deep breaths and smiling. I walked my way back to Morrigan’s eluvian and back to Skyhold.

 _I found love in a hopeless place_. But I've gotta let it go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, this is assuming Kieran isn’t around in Anna’s playthrough, btw. I almost didn't want to post this chapter because of how random it is, but I didn't want to leave you guys hanging :/
> 
> I always thought [“We Found Love”](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xjd7oyiNC7I) by Rihanna/Calvin Harris was just some rando dance song, but the lyrics are pretty sad, and strangely fitting to this situation??? (But then again, I can twist lyrics to fit ANYTHING I’m feeling)... I don’t even really like this song that much lol. But I’ve heard it so often, the lyrics are deeply ingrained in my mind.


	44. The Final Peace

Floating. I was floating in the ocean. That was the dream he appeared in. I was drifting among endless waves, looking up towards a cloudless sky.

I didn’t see him, but I heard him, and I felt his presence. “Anna,” he said. His voice echoed across the water.

I was lucid now, as I always became when he entered my dreams, but I didn’t respond.

“Please,” he said, much quieter now.

I remained silent. _What was there to say?_

“I’m sorry,” he said softly. He sounded very sorry.

I continued to float, gazing at the infinite blue. “I’m waking up now,” I said. And I did.

 

*****

 

“I know where Corypheus is,” the Inquisitor declared, sitting atop her throne. “Tomorrow, we ride to defeat him!” She stood up emphatically, feeling empowered from recently meeting Mythal and reuniting with her hobo.

I had slipped into the back of the room, trying to remain unnoticed. I saw Solas was near the door that led to the rotunda, watching the Inquisitor as she spoke.

Everyone in the hall cheered from her declaration. Except me and Solas. We were both kinda scared. Solas, about his orb breaking (I assumed); me, about Solas leaving. _What would I do if he left?_

Lavellan smiled, encouraged by the cheers of her followers. I noticed she carefully avoided looking my way, though, probably because of Solas.

She announced that anyone who was able should fight with her, since most of our forces were still in the Arbor Wilds ( _still??_ Come on, Cullen!). And that included _me_ going. _Sweet!_

I hurried back to my room, gathering my belongings for the trip. My hunter coat had tons of hidden pockets, so I could fit lots in there, although I started packing a little bag too, just in case.

Someone opened my bedroom door behind me, making me jump. I looked over my shoulder to see Solas standing in the doorway. He hadn't even bothered to knock. “What are you doing?” he asked me, concerned.

“Hello to you, too,” I said, looking back at my bag. I could feel my heart beating faster, but I stayed as focused as possible on my pack. This was the first time we had spoken since returning to Skyhold (unless you count that dream... _which I didn't_ ).

Solas approached my side. “Why are you packing?” he asked anxiously.

“I’m getting ready to go to the Valley of Sacred Ashes?” I told him. I continued to fill my bag with stuff. Mainly food. _I always got hungry_.

“No,” he said, stopping me with a hand on my arm. “You will not.”

I crossed my arms, finally turning to him. “And _why_ not?” I huffed. _Why did he even care?_ Anger and annoyance started to swell up inside me.  _Everything always has to go_ his _way, how_ he  _wants._

Solas looked at me sternly. “You can barely defend yourself. You nearly died in the Arbor Wilds.”

I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, I learned my lesson, I’ll be _fine_.” I continued my packing.

“ _Da’len_ , no,” he said, shaking his head. “I will not allow it.”

I shrugged, still looking at my bag. “Sorry, Fenny, but that really doesn’t matter. I’m _going_.”

Something snapped within Solas then, and he pushed me against a wall, putting a hand to my throat. He forced me to look at him, his eyes burning darkly. “ _You will not go_ ,” he whispered into my ear in a deadly voice. “And _do not_ call me ‘Fenny.’ ”

He abruptly let me go, and I fell forward slightly from his absence. The elf then left my room hurriedly, too upset to even say goodbye.

I stayed by the wall, shocked by his reaction. _WTF, Solas??_ He just came in here, telling me what to do and threatening me???  _Fuck you!_

But... I knew Solas couldn’t _really_ stop me from going on the final quest. The Inquisitor was the one to decide these things. _He ain’t the boss of me!_ I thought defiantly.

What _could_ he do to stop me though? He had tried to scare me just now, _sounding_ threatening, but he didn’t actually threaten me _with_ anything. I mean, I knew I had seemed a little pathetic in the Temple of Mythal, and in the Hinterlands... but surely he had seen _some_ worth in me by now? I was practicing archery everyday! ( _okay, not really_ ) But the more I thought of how he didn’t want me to go, the more pissed off I got.

That wolf had no right to stop me from doing anything. No right at all.

I decided the best course of action was to somehow prove I was needed for the quest, just to shove it in his face. And the best way I knew how was some fake-fortune-telling to the other companions. If I got enough support, he would be outnumbered. _Muahahaha._

I headed off.

 

*****

 

“Hey, _Cullen_ ,” I said, leaning casually against his desk. His office door had been open, and I had easily waltzed in without him even seeing.

He looked up at me from the other side. He had been observing a map, planning out battle formations or something, I dunno. “Oh, hello, Anna,” he said, surprised.

I lightly trailed my fingers across the belongings (mainly books) on his desk. “We’re going to finally face Corypheus, I hear,” I said, looking at him from under my eyelashes. What? _Can I not flirt with Cullen??_ I deserved some fun!

Cullen cleared his throat. “Um, yes. We must quickly gather as many resources as we can. The Inquisitor specifically requested that we move as fast as possible.”

I nodded, sitting myself on his desk and leaning towards him. “Yeah, that’s why I came to you.” I smiled at him. “I thought _I_ could be a resource to you...”

“Oh,” he said quietly. “In what way...?”

I swung my legs around the desk and hopped down beside him. Approaching him slowly, I said, “I thought I could...” I reached up with my fingers and gently played with some of the boa-fur of his armor, “... give some expertise.”

Cullen swallowed. “ _Expertise_?” he asked.

I looked up at him, biting my lip slightly. “I know a lot more about the Valley than you think,” I said softly.

“Valley?” He was slowly leaning in towards me.

“The Valley of Sacred Ashes,” I said, dropping my hand from his armor. “Corypheus will try to cut off the Inquisitor from everyone by raising the Temple from the ground itself, nearly destroying the valley.” I took a step back from him, my voice losing all playfulness. “We have to be sure that everyone is in a safe enough area.”

Cullen was taken aback from my sudden explanation. “I see,” he said, startled. “If you have forseen this, then perhaps you should come along.”

I smiled at him. “Yes, I should come, I should definitely _come_.” _Ha ha haaa._ In your face, wolf. I turned to leave, determined to garner more support.

The Commander grabbed me by the arm. “Wait,” he said, pulling me back towards him.

Cullen was very close to me now. He brought a hand to my face, lightly caressing my skin. “This could be the last time we ever see each other,” he said gently.

Using his other arm, he pulled me closer to him by the waist, and lifted my face to his. And he kissed me. Just like that. Straight. On. The. Lips.

I pulled away instantly from him, pushing his chest away with my hands. “I’m sorry, Cullen. I have to _go..._ ” _This was all sorts of wrong._

He released me instantly, taking a step back. “Of _course_ ,” he said bitterly. “You prefer _Solas’_ company.”

I didn’t know what to say. I was shocked from it all. Cullen? Solas? What’s with these NPCs today?!?! “What are you...? What are you talking about?!” I asked him. _Was it really that obvious?!_

Cullen rolled his eyes. “ _Everyone_ sees it, Anna. The way you two are always together.”

“ _Yeah_ ,” I agreed. “He’s my friend!” I defended.

The Commander crossed his arms. “Tell that to _him_ ,” he said indignantly. “Tell that to the _Inquisitor_!”

My jaw dropped a little. _How dare this curly bastard_.

“Why don’t you just go shave your _face_ , Cullen?!” I shouted immaturely at him. His kiss had felt prickly. It was the best I could think of in my shock.

I left without saying another word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Solas is very serious about protecting Anna... (well, tbh, she hasn't shown much ability to protect herself and never listens to his advice, and well, he's... _frustrated_ ).


	45. Doom Upon the Wolf

So the gang all rode out of Skyhold, guns blazing and all that. Solas was _prettay_ upset with me, as I had forced my way in, telling everyone my “insight” would guarantee a lot more lives saved. Little did they know, friggin’ _everybody_ survives. Except Corypheus, that is.

I looked behind me to see the advisors all waving and wishing us luck, sending us off into (what could be) our final battle. Cullen saw me staring back and quickly averted his eyes. It made me wonder if I had properly let him kiss me, _just how far_ it would have gone...

Maybe I _should_ have let him. _It’s not like I’m getting any from anyone else..._  I thought, narrowing my eyes on Solas ahead of me. _He had his Lavellan_.

I noticed Varric was riding nearby, so I slowed my mare to ride next to him. I then casually ( _not really_ ) asked him, “Are you scared, Varric?” Not a very appropriate question, but I wasn't feeling very _appropriate_ anyway.

The dwarf looked at me like I was crazy. “Yeah, Sleepy, I _am_.” He looked forward, towards Lavellan. “But I trust the Inquisitor. I know we will stop him.”

I half-smiled. “We will.”

He looked at me. “I still think you’re crazy, kid.” He glanced at the bow on my back. “I’ve seen you practice shooting... why would you come to such a dangerous fight?”

“ _Varric_ ,” I said, smiling, “am I really _that_ bad?” I laughed a little. “Don’t worry, I’ll probably just stay out of the way, anyway.”

“Still dangerous, though, Sleeps,” he warned.

I shrugged, looking at all the companions riding ahead of me. “This could be the last time I see all of you guys...” I said quietly, my eyes resting on a certain bald elf. _What if I just wake up when the game ends?_

“I know. We love you, too, kid,” Varric said tenderly.

I was still staring at Solas’ back. I could have sworn I saw a pointy ear twitch.

I started riding pretty slowly, falling a bit far behind Varric. _Sighhhh_.

“It’s not you, it was never you, you were perfect... it's me, my mission, my mistake...” Cole said, riding up behind me.

“What?” I asked, looking at him.

Cole gestured his head towards Solas. _Ugh_. Not the old “it’s not you, it’s me” line. What a load of bullshit. It was the Inquisitor, obviously.

“He doesn’t hurt about her... not anymore...” Cole said quietly. _Yeah because they’re back together._

I glanced from Solas to the spirit. “Thanks, Cole, but it’s okay. You can stop trying to help me.”

“Everyone here is scared... but yours is different from the others’. I thought I could help.”

I smiled. “You did.” _Sort of_. Okay, not really...

The Valley of Sacred Ashes wasn’t very far, and we arrived there by late afternoon.

_Here we go_. We were finally here. The final fight. _It’s the fiiinallll countdowwwwn_ , I sang in my head.

I dismounted my horse, my eyes taking in the temple overrun with red lyrium. The sky was cloudy, the Breach glowing green against grey. The rest of the group got off their mounts, observing the state of the area.

“Tell me, where is your Maker now?” Corypheus’ voice boomed in the not-so-far distance.

The Inquisitor went running towards the magister, determined to put an end to this video game story arc. The others followed after her, except Solas.

He turned to me. “ _Da’len_ ,” Solas said. “Please, _stay here_.”

I nodded. “I will, I promise.”

He exhaled, grasping both my arms. “I must bid you farewell, then, _da’len_.” He put a hand on my cheek, looking into my eyes. He hugged me then, pulling me close into his arms. I gasped in surprise. I felt him softly kiss me on the top of my head. “ _Ar lath ma,_ Anna,” he whispered into my ear. “ _Dareth shiral_.”

He loved me. _Ar lath ma, Anna_ , I repeated his words in my head. He loved _me_.

It was this beautiful moment of stillness, and then he let me go and walked away, not turning back. It was only when my view of him got blurry that I realized I had tears in my eyes. _No_ , I thought, rubbing them away. _I_ will _see him after._

“It ends here, Corypheus!” the Inquisitor shouted. And the archdemon and dragon-Morrigan started brawling. It had started then.

Corypheus lifted the ruined temple into the sky, bringing Lavellan, Iron Bull, Cole, and Solas with it. He must have Fade-Stepped to get there in time.

I was pretty far away, safe from danger. I knew how the fight would end, so I had to prepare myself. I looked around, seeing several other Skyhold inhabitants trying to fight their way back to the Inquisitor.

Cassandra, Blackwall, Dorian, Sera, Vivienne, Varric... even Scout Harding. They were all fighting shades that Corypheus had summoned. I had never seen this part of the fight before, and I was glad I hadn’t followed the rest. I would be dead, _for sure_.

I was standing away from it all, a bunch of abandoned mounts around me. I looked at the companions, watching them give it their all. This would possibly be the last time I would ever get to talk to them, and I couldn’t even say goodbye.

I took two horses with me, guiding them around the area. My rough plan was that I would try to meet Solas if he ran away from everyone. _I never said it was a_ good _plan..._  I thought, remembering what Solas said to Lavellan before he Fade-tongued her. Though now that they were back together again...  _would he still leave?_

I gave the temple a wide berth, trying to ignore the flashes of light and shouts I heard coming from it. _They would all make it_ , I told myself. _No need to worry_.

I eventually made it to the other side, giving me a clear view of the very top, where the finale would occur. _How does Solas get down_?

I tied the two mares to a tree, and my eyes started searching the haphazard structure. _A city in the clouds_. I thought ironically of Arlathan. There was only one capable path I could discern, so it had to be the way.

The fight went on for a while, the dragons swirling around in the air ( _fuck_ , their screeches were loud). There were bursts of light, thunderous noises... I couldn’t actually see them fighting though, but these indications showed they were slowly making their way up.

Suddenly, a beam of light shot up into the Breach. The sky began to close in on itself, swirling into the green abyss.

Giant boulders that were previously held up by its magic began to crash downwards, falling all around the valley. _Did the orb break? Did Solas save it this time?_

I squinted my eyes, trying to detect where the fight was. But I soon found the answer, as I saw a tall elf in a wolf pelt standing at the top. The battle was over, the Inquisitor had finally defeated Corypheus.

I watched Solas as he exchanged some words with Lavellan. I really couldn’t tell what was going on, but it looked fairly similar to the game cinematic. They were standing quite a few paces away from each other, not even touching. She turned away, and Solas then slowly made his way down the temple, glancing back only once. _He’s leaving after all_.

Untying the mounts, I held the reins and waited for him on the bottom. It was kind of an erratic path, winding sharply down the rocks. He even had to jump at certain points when it became too broken. _Why didn’t he just Fade Step?_

When he came closer into view, I saw how exhausted he looked. His mana must be completely drained. When his gaze met mine, Solas froze.

“ _Da’len_...” he said, somewhat confused. He approached me slowly. “Your prediction was correct. My orb... is broken.”

I put my hand on his arm. “I’m sorry, _hahren_ ,” I told him softly. I pointed upwards. “At least the Breach is sealed?”

He nodded glumly. “Yes... one mistake amended. But I must continue my duty.” He took some reins from my hand. “Thank you, Anna, and I wish you luck in your life.” He bowed his head solemnly.

“Wait!” I said, grabbing his arm. “I’m coming with you!”

He looked at me sternly, shaking his head. “No, you cannot.”

“I _will_ ,” I said, grabbing his robes with both of my hands.

Solas closed his eyes. “I... I must walk this path in solitude.” He looked so weakened, distraught, tired of fighting...

“Solas, I don’t care!” I shouted at him. “Even if you die, I still want to go. Even if _I_ die, I want to go.” I touched his cheek gently with my hand. “I want to help you, no matter what. I want to be _with_ you.” What _did_ it matter if I died? I didn’t even belong in this game in the first place!

He exhaled, pulling away. “That is a mistake, _da’len_.”

“Maybe,” I conceded. “But it is _my_ choice. And you can’t stop me.” I refused to have him leave without me. I knew what would happen to the Inquisition, the power they would gain, the alliances that would form. I needed to know what happened to _him_. If he just went, and I never saw him again... No, I couldn’t accept that.

His expression was grave as he turned away from me. “You are so obstinate,” he said quietly. He didn’t say anything more, but just mounted his horse and started to ride off.

I quickly did the same and followed, leaving the Inquisition behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's broken. I'm sorry :(
> 
> Anna was singing ["The Final Countdown"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TcJ-wNmazHQ) by Europe in her head, if that wasn't clear haha.
> 
> *edit: I have (partially) written [**Ch. 36: Present** from Solas' POV](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3809614), if anyone is interested :)


	46. Gates Forever Shut

“Solas? Can we stop to eat? _Please_?” I begged. We were riding side by side on horseback.

Solas exhaled in an annoyed way. We had been riding for hours now, and he had refused to take a break. “I do not require food as I can draw sustenance from the Fade,” he snapped. “It is not my fault that you have followed me and cannot provide for yourself.”

“That's unfair! You can easily whip something up for me!” I protested.

Solas rolled his eyes. He gestured his hand towards the forest nearby, some sparks of light flying out of his fingers. I heard the scream of a nug, and Solas tilted his head in its direction. “If you are so hungry as you claim, then collect the food I have hunted for you.”

“Uh-huh.” I dismounted. “ ‘Hunted,’ ” I air-quoted. I rushed into the forest. I could smell the scorched flesh and followed the trail to where his auto-aim had struck.

The long-eared pig was lying on the ground, burnt like bacon. I tried to grab it, but quickly retreated my hand from the blazing heat that resonated off of it. I rubbed my scathed hand, cursing Solas. _Fenedhis!_

Using my cloak to wrap the nug all snug, I carefully carried it back to the horses. Solas was sitting on his mount, staring everywhere but my direction.

“Got it!” I said, gesturing to the animal. He continued to ignore me. I tried to tear some of the flesh away to eat it, but as I did so, Solas began riding off. “Hey, wait!” I shouted after him.

“If you cannot keep up with my pace, I suggest you return to Skyhold!” he yelled from his mare.

_Friggin’ Solas!_ I tied my cloak around the nug in as secure a fashion as possible. I hopped back on my mount and rode after him.

I soon caught up to him—he hadn't been riding very fast. “That was _rude_ ,” I told him.

“What did you expect from following me, _da’len_?” he growled. “Did you think this would be easy? Did you think it would be _fun_?”

“Of course not!” I retaliated. “But I didn’t expect you to be this _crazy_ , continuing on when you’re obviously exhausted!”

“Too much time has been wasted. I must hurry.” He rode faster than me then, leaving me in the dust.

We hadn’t even slept since the battle with Corypheus, and Solas had forced us to ride through the night. He wouldn’t stop for anything, as if we were being chased. Maybe we were; I knew Leliana would be looking for us. But I also knew we couldn’t keep going forever without a break. _Well, maybe_ he _could..._

I tried to match his pace, but my horse couldn’t keep up. Was that elf using magic or something?? I slowed to a stop. _He would come back, right?_

I dismounted and put my feet on the ground. We were in Orlais, somewhere in the Dales. It was very early morning, and the sun was slowly rising. We had been riding in a wide stretch of grasslands, near the edge of a forest.

I sat down on the ground, untying the nug from its wrappings. I tore off some of the flesh, chewing it slowly. _He’s going to come back_.

I was exhausted, so I could only imagine how weary he must be feeling. _I_ hadn’t even been in the Corypheus fight.

My mare chewed at some grass nearby, grateful for the break as well (or at least I liked to think so). I laid back on the ground, my limbs exhausted from the straining traveling. I closed my eyes.

“Anna!” Solas shouted, shaking me awake. His expression was panicked.

“What—?” I was a bit groggy. I had fallen asleep without even realizing.

Solas was kneeling next to me, his hands on my arms. “Are you alright? _Why_ didn’t you follow?!” He pulled me to a sitting position.

“You came back,” I said, blinking my eyes at him.

He sighed. “ _Da’len_ , _don’t_ do that again.”

I put my hands to my face, covering my eyes. “I’m _so_ tired,” I whined.

He gently rubbed my arm. “I am sorry,” he said. “We can rest, for a little while.”

Solas moved us to a spot in the forest, since he said it would be harder for anyone to find us there. He set wards around the area, drawing runes in the dirt with his staff.

We shared the remains of the nug, wrapping some of it in elfroot. Honestly, elfroot didn’t taste very good with it, but Solas insisted that I needed its nutrition.

I was very drowsy after eating, but I thought Solas needed the rest more. “You sleep first, and I’ll keep watch,” I told him.

Solas shook his head. “That is unnecessary, _da’len_. I have set wards, so we may both sleep.”

“Oh,” I said, relieved. “Are you sure?”

He laughed slightly. “ _Yes_ , Anna. Do not underestimate my abilities.” He smiled sadly at me. “I have done this for a long time,” he said quietly.

I nodded, watching as he settled onto the ground, placing his staff at his side. “I’m sorry I’m not the Inquisitor,” I said quietly.

“What do you mean?” he asked, looking at me from his lying position.

“I’m sorry you had to leave her,” I explained, sitting down crossed-legged beside him.

He sighed, closing his eyes. “It was necessary to leave the Inquisition,” he replied.

“Yeah, but, you know... you guys had finally reconciled or whatever.” I started picking at some grass growing on the forest floor.

He opened his eyes, raising a brow. “Who?”

“You and Lavellan?” I said, pausing my picking.

“The Inquisitor?” he asked, propping himself up on his elbows and tilting his bald head.

I stared at him in disbelief. “Um, YES?”

Solas hummed, considering something. His eyes wandered to the branches of a tree. “Yes, I believe she understands now.”

“Understands what??” I asked, frustrated. That he still loves her? That he was the Dread Wolf?? We were _so_ not on the same page.

He turned his gaze to me again. “That I had to leave,” he replied.

I scrunched my eyebrows together, thinking back to what I had seen between the two from afar. _What had he said to her?_ “Wait... did you _actually_  explain who you were?” I asked eagerly.

“No,” he answered, lying down on his back again.

I leaned a little closer to him from my sitting position. “Then _what_ does she understand?” _Why would she be okay with him leaving?_

He sighed, closing his eyes again. “It is complex, _da’len_.”

“ _What’s_ so complex?” I questioned, my hands flying up in exasperation. “Did you just break up with her again or something???”

He opened his eyes, looking straight into mine. “I do not understand you.”

I exhaled loudly. “Seriously?! WHAT DID YOU SAY TO HER??”

“I told her I was going to die, and that I had to leave,” he explained, his voice perfectly calm.

“Oh,” I said. “... And nothing about your identity?”

“No, only that I would die.”

It still didn’t make sense. “So... that’s what you told her at the temple yesterday?” I asked, brow raised, trying to piece together his ( _annoyingly short_ ) answers.

“No,” he replied, “this was after our return from the Hinterlands.”

_Was he referring to the conversation I had seen in the courtyard? When they had hugged?_ “And... then you got back together?” I asked confusedly.

He was still lying on the ground, his head turned towards me and his expression puzzled. “What do you mean?”

“Like... you know, _together_?” I raised my eyebrows suggestively.  _Why isn’t he getting this?_

He narrowed his eyes slightly. “No.”

I put my hand to the bridge of my nose. “I’m so confused right now.”

Solas sat up, his brow furrowed. “Anna, what did you think happened?”

“I thought you’d finally reunited with her,” I explained, looking at the grass. “That she was gonna be your _vhenan_ again.”

“Ah,” he said. “No, that is not so.”

“Then what happened?” I asked, looking at him again.

He brought his knees towards himself, resting his arms on them. “I simply explained my reason for leaving as best I could, without revealing myself.”

“And what did she say? How did she react?”

“She was _distraught..._ ” he said, his eyes drifting away towards a tree, “but she finally understood, and she accepted my decision to leave.”

“And _that was it_?” I asked doubtfully. She just took that dying reason and walked away??

He gave a nod, looking back at me. “For the most part, yes.”

“But what about the rest? What else did you guys talk about?” I pressed. There was so much he was keeping from me.

He shook his head slightly. “ _Da’len_ , I believe we should rest.”

I sighed, resigning. “Okay.” I was so tired anyway. It could wait until later.

He lied back down, and I did the same a few feet away. The forest floor was soft, and much more comfortable than I had expected. Mid-morning light filtered through the leaves, the sun slightly higher in the sky now.

“It was you, Anna,” Solas said suddenly, still lying on the ground. “It was you who inspired me to tell the truth.” He turned his head towards me. “I was unfair in leaving without explanation. She nearly died from her distress.”

Inspired him? I understood him feeling guilty, but... _me_? “I inspired you?” I asked, turning on my side to look at him.

“You are always so honest, Anna,” he said tenderly. He smiled, and I was surprised by how warm it made me feel. _When was the last time I saw him smile?_ “Always speaking your mind...” He continued to explain, “Perhaps it was only conversing freely about myself with you, but I found I had no reason for withholding a better explanation, one that she could move on from.”

I thought about his words, wondering how Lavellan must have felt. “I’m glad you told her,” I said, “even just a little bit.”

“As am I,” he replied.

I studied him a moment before saying quietly, "I'm sorry that I ignored you so much.”

"You need not apologize,” he said, gazing into my eyes. “Do you forgive me?"

"Yes," I answered softly. _This silly hobo_. I laughed a little. “Like I wouldn’t eventually.”

He smiled. “I can compile a list of pertinent arguments for why you should not.”

“Well, the same goes for me,” I said, smiling. I rolled on my back and closed my eyes. I felt lighter, happier... although also selfish. He and Lavellan had never gotten back together; it had only been my misunderstanding. The situation was still pretty sad for her, but at least she _(sort of)_ knew why he had to leave... I lied there in the grass, continuing to wonder, what else _was_ said?

I soon drifted to sleep, though. I was exhausted, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you’ve never heard the party banter on nugs, you should watch [this video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XwJbmPX42to). It’s funnnnny. Also, Varric has eaten nug with elfroot hahahaha
> 
> _fenedhis_ = common Elvish curse, thought to mean "wolf penis"


	47. Party of Two

Solas didn’t let us sleep long, and soon he was shaking me awake. “We must keep moving, _da’len_ ,” he said gently. The sun was much higher in the sky now, but it only seemed around noon or so.

I groaned and got up, gathering my few things. “Do you think Leliana has people following us?” I asked tiredly.

“Yes,” he confirmed. “It is her nature to send out a search party.” He was already prepared to leave, standing by his horse with his staff at his back.

“Even if you told the Inquisitor your reason for leaving?” I suggested, placing my foot through the stirrup to mount my mare.

He shook his head, leaping gracefully atop his own horse. “Regardless, we cannot be certain that she prevented Leliana's investigation.”

We started riding again, and I thought back to the Inquisition. What did they all think of the two of us leaving? When I had played the game, everyone kinda just thought, _Oh, that old Solas! Always running off to do his own thing!_ (except the heartbroken Lavellan, of course... _and_ suspicious Leliana, I guess)

But what did they think since _I_ had left, too? Did they think we were traitors? Did they think we were lovers? Did they just think we hated them, finally getting to escape once the mission was completed? Running off and screaming, _“Fuck you bitches!!”_ ?

It made me a little sad, since I didn’t properly get to say goodbye. I loved all those characters like they were my own family. With them gone, it felt like my party was empty.

And yet... _it ain’t no party like a Fen’Harel party_.

We were traveling at a much easier pace than before. Still fast, just not as  _crazy_. The wolf riding beside me kept his eyes forward, but occasionally would glimpse my way. “Do you miss the Inquisition at all?” I asked him.

He looked at me briefly before looking ahead again. “I have enjoyable memories there,” he said sadly, “but the future of the People are of greater importance.”

“I miss them,” I said, pointedly observing his reaction. _He must miss them a little_.

He looked at me again. “Then perhaps you should return,” he quietly suggested.

I shook my head. “You know I won’t.”

He said nothing, and we continued to ride.

It was a lot warmer in the Dales than at Skyhold. Once we had made it through the Frostback Mountains, the grass became greener, and the sun shone brighter. Horseback riding was tiring, and I felt the sweat start to pool in the small of my back.

One good thing about living in these medieval-y times was that I _was_ actually getting stronger. I could tell by how much easier it was to mount my horse, climb those big-ass steps... If I ever _did_ make it back to the real world, I hoped my new muscles would stick around.

We eventually came to a river. Well, more like a wide-ish stream. Solas dismounted, tethering his mare to a nearby tree. I did the same, although I wasn’t sure what he was doing.

He walked towards the water, stripping off his robes... tunic... and then his breeches... and then...  _Oh, my gods,_ I thought frantically. _Solas butt._

“ _Um_ , what are you doing?!” I asked him, highly embarrassed that I was staring, yet unable to look away. He didn’t turn around but only hopped in the water.

“Bathing,” he said simply.

“Heh,” I said, “I guess I’ll just wait over here then...” I trailed off. I was still standing by the horses, a short distance away.

“You _could_ ,” he said, looking back at me, “but judging by your _odor_ , I would bathe as well.” He smirked at me from the stream.

“Shut up, Dread Wolf!” I shouted back. But I thought a moment. It _was_ a good opportunity to clarify some...  _anatomy_ questions.

Solas had turned his back again, bending his body so low that only his bald head stuck out of the water. _Why is he so comfortable with this??_ Did elves just always bathe in groups or something?

I exhaled slowly, determining my next actions. He _had_ invited me. It would be rude not to get in... plus I really wanted a bath... and...  _naked with Solas_... _hahh_.

“Okay,” I said to myself quietly, removing my own clothing. _What's the worst that could happen?_ Solas was a gentleman. A gentleman noble. Yes. _This is perfectly fine._

Luckily, he continued to keep his back to me as I undressed, sparing me from further embarrassment. I soon sunk into the water quietly behind him, ducking down as low as I could. It was a relatively shallow stream, the water coming up to my upper thighs. I made sure to only have my neck and head above the surface. It was warm, too, and I noticed a small, glowing red rune on a rock nearby. Solas had heated the area.

He turned around at my arrival, an eyebrow in the air. “You _know_ ,” he said mockingly, “The water is perfectly clear. I can see _everything_.”

I splashed him. “But at least it’s _distorted_ ,” I remarked. The current was rushing by quickly, making it harder to see underneath. “You couldn’t have picked a _calmer_ spot, _hahren_?” I asked him accusingly. I had to carefully anchor my feet into the riverbed floor to stabilize my body.

He wiped some of the water I had splashed from his face. “It is better this way; the water cleans the body for you,” he logically explained.

I hummed in understanding, now getting distracted by his body. He was facing me now, and I observed the muscles of his chest. He was completely naked, not even wearing his jawbone necklace. _Heh heh_.

His upper body looked just like a human’s though, which made me wonder... “Do I look the same as an elf?” I ventured.

Solas laughed. “What do you mean?” he asked curiously.

I took a breath and decided to stop caring about him fully seeing me, it was too late anyway. I stood up. “Do I have all the same _parts_?” I asked, my face hot.

Solas eyed me pretty quickly, his eyes flitting over the breadth of my body. “Yes, _da’len_ ,” he told me coolly. “It is all the same.”

I squatted in the water again, and splashing him slightly, said, “Well, I showed _you..._ ”

He sighed and stood up, presenting his body with a flourish of his hand. Yep. It was _all_ the same. Well, except _no_ hair. At all. He returned to the water.

I felt my face getting impossibly warm from my embarrassment, so I dipped my head back, letting the water soak my hair and cool my skin. Suddenly, there was a hand on my back, and I jerked myself up to see Solas _very_ close to me.

“You should be careful, _da’len_ ,” he told me calmly, “You wouldn’t want to be carried downstream.” There was a playful tone in his voice, but his eyes looked deadly serious.

I nodded, turning redder from the close proximity. I was highly aware that his hand was still on my back, although I was sure it didn’t need to be. _What are you thinking, you sly wolf?_ (Dare to dream...)

But since he _was_ so close to me now, I chanced my hand closer to his body, lightly touching his pecs. He remained still, allowing the contact, and my hand trailed downwards, feeling his abdominals. _Heh heh_. His muscles sure were _firm_ for an old hobo.

Solas seemed curious as well, and he brought his free hand upwards, reaching for my face. He caressed the curve of my ear, fondling its shape. _Has he never seen a naked human before?_ I wondered.

Getting the idea from him, I reached my own hand up to touch his ear, giggling at the pointiness of it. His ears were so much longer and bigger than mine. “I like you ears,” I said gleefully, smiling at him.

He smiled back. “Do you wish you were an elf, Anna?” he asked jokingly.

I smiled slyly at him and said softly, “Sometimes.” I _did_ always roleplay as one...

Solas laughed then, releasing me from his grasp and wading a bit farther away. I stumbled back a few steps from the sudden lack of support.

He looked back at me curiously. “You _are_ peculiar, _da’len_ ,” he said, smiling. “You wish to be an elf in the age of humans, a time when the People are looked down upon.”

I shrugged. “Of course _that_ isn’t preferable, but it’s more about the _culture_ ,” I explained. “I like the way elves are so connected with nature... with _magic_. Their understanding of the world runs deep.” I lifted an eyebrow at him, smiling. “Plus, _their_ gods actually exist.”

Solas frowned at me then. “What makes you think the human gods do not exist?” he asked me.

I shrugged again. “I haven’t seen any proof,” I told him simply.

“Ah,” he said. “A sound argument. But things are not always so simple, _da’len_.” He stood up and got out of the water. Bath time was over. I watched as he walked into some grass. _Solas butt again_.

To my surprise, he laid down on the ground, still naked. “What are you _doing_ , _hahren_?” I asked him, confused.

“Drying,” he replied. _Okay_.

The water was starting to get cold, so I followed his lead and got out of the stream. Fortunately, it was a warm day, and the sun was shining high and pleasantly.

I walked my way over and laid myself down beside him. I sneakily grabbed his hand though, lacing my fingers between his as I settled in. My heart leapt a little when he gently curled his fingers over mine, returning the gesture, although perhaps not as tightly as _I_ was.

“Can’t you just use magic to dry?” I asked him.

Solas chuckled lightly. “Sometimes nature is more efficient,” he answered, his eyes closed. He was soaking in the sun. I did the same.

But it was not long, and he soon stood up, breaking our hands apart. My eyes shot open from the movement, and I saw him looking at me from above. “You _are_ slightly _wider_ ,” he said, smiling. His body was blocking the sun, casting a shadow over me.

I sat up. “Are you calling me _fat_ , Solas?” I asked, indignant.

He laughed, taking a step away from me. “No,” he corrected. “Elves have smaller frames than humans; their bones are slighter.”

I looked straight at his crotch then, eyes wide. _Except for_ that _bone_ , I thought pervertedly. I flushed red again.

Solas noticed my stare. “ _And_ ,” he smirked, bending closer to my eye-level, “I have never seen an _elf_ look as crimson as _you_.” He stood upright again and began to put on his clothing.

I got up, hot from embarrassment, and started to do the same, grabbing my garments. “Do you ever get tan?” I asked him, desperately trying to change the subject.

“Tan?” Solas asked me, placing his wolf jawbone over his head.

“Like does your skin get darker from the sun,” I explained as I tied all the annoying knots of my top.

He smiled, as if the question was silly. “No, it does not.”

 _Weird_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that’s our elf anatomy lesson for the day, kids. *dies of embarrassment*
> 
> And yes, “Solas butt” is _not_ missing an apostrophe.


	48. Halla Messed Up

We rode even farther that day, and I felt much better after the river. I hadn’t bathed since Skyhold and hoped that Solas hadn’t _actually_ noticed a smell...  _That was a joke, right??_

When we’d stopped for the evening, Solas and I dismounted. He led us deep into a forest, the two of us guiding our horses through the roots and trees. It went on for about a half-hour, and I wondered if he was still worried about Leliana’s spies following us. I certainly wouldn’t put it past her.

When Solas deemed a spot appropriate, he tied his reins to a low branch, lightly patting his horse. He spoke some soft words in Elvish to her. The mare snuffed in response.

I did the same (well, not the Elvish part) and then surveyed the clearing. It was _way_ deep into the woods, making it dark and creepy. The leafy branches of trees blocked out most of the night’s moonlight.

Solas walked the area, placing wards where he saw fit. I watched as he did this; he was like a silent shadow, moving against the trees. Each rune he drew in the ground lit up dimly before disappearing, becoming an unseen trap. He soon came back though, and I had to squint my eyes to make out his features. He nodded at me, his own eyes glinting in the dark. “We are safe, _da’len_.”

I nodded, sitting down on the ground. Solas had gathered some branches during his ward-casting, and he dropped them near my feet. He lit a veilfire with them, and I had to close my eyes from the sudden brightness. "Are you hungry, Anna?"

"Mmm, yes," I said quietly, still sheltering my eyes with a hand, and he quickly rushed back into the trees. I continued to sit there, waiting for him. He was gone for a while, and I started to get worried. Now that the fire was lit, I couldn't see  _anything_ past its flaming light, the trees around me melted into walls of blackness.

"Solas?" I whispered, suddenly scared that something bad had happened to him. I kept my gaze fixed on the trees he had disappeared through. "Do you need help?" I asked, although I was sure he couldn't hear me. _What if a bear got him???_

I stood up, deciding to go find him. I slowly approached the trees he had walked between, placing my hand on one of the trunks. "Solas...?" I called quietly, gingerly taking another step. My back was to the fire now, and my eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness. I could soon see the better part of the area, and there were lots of trees, but no hobo. I walked a little further, carefully using my arms to feel the air around me. How long had it been now? Twenty minutes? An hour? It was so hard to tell when I was just sitting there by myself (with no phone to entertain me either).

I ventured further and came to the tiniest of creeks. The trees were not as closely gathered here, so the moon lit the area much brighter. I cupped some water in my hands, taking a sip (a habit I had grown accustomed to since living in Thedas now). What if he really was dead? _What would I do?_

My stomach felt sick from the thought of it, and my heart rate started to quicken with fear. My eyes darted around the woods, determined to find him. "Fen'Harel?" I asked the forest. I walked a little deeper. "Dread..." My eyes stopped on something staring back at me. "... Wolf?"

It was a _real_ wolf. A big black, scary one. His haunches were raised, as if just about to pounce on me. I completely froze, unsure of what to do. I didn't even have my bow because I was an idiot who had left it back near the fire. I took a step backwards, my mind racing on the best way to flee. The wolf growled then, and leapt towards me.

I tried to jump out of the way, but tripped on a root and landed on my back in the dirt, knocking the wind out of me. I gasped, anticipating my imminent death.

The wolf never reached me, though. As he sprang mid-air, he smacked into some magical barrier between us, falling back towards the ground. The animal huffed a bit, but then sprinted back through the forest.  _Huh?_

Solas came into view from behind me, leaning over my fallen body. "Are you hurt, Anna?" he asked, helping me up with a hand. I wobbled to my feet, relieved that he was there. He wrapped his arms around me in a worried embrace. " _Why_ do you never remain where it is safe?"

"You were gone for so long... I was scared you had gotten hurt," I explained, resting my head against his chest.

He squeezed me gently before releasing me. He then put his arm around my shoulders, guiding me back to our little camp. "You never need worry about me,  _da'len_ ," he said quietly.

"Let's just go together next time, okay?" I suggested.

He smiled, pulling me closer to him. "As you wish." He turned his head to look down at me. "How did you avoid all of my wards?"

Geez, I was stupid. I didn't even think about all the magic-mines in the ground. "I guess I was just lucky," I said, slightly embarrassed.

"Hmm," he considered. "Until the wolf found you."

We made it back to the veilfire and our horses, and I saw Solas had gathered quite a variety of food. “You got all this, _hahren_?” I asked in disbelief. There were berries and various leafy plants, a few roots that looked like potatoes... He was even cooking a rabbit over the fire.

“There is an abundance of food in these woods if one knows where to look,” he answered vaguely. _Yeah, maybe if you're a hobo-god_.

“Thank you,” I said, smiling at him. He nodded and removed his arm from me. I sat down near the fire. “What's first?” I asked excitedly.

Solas walked over to his horse, which had a little bag attached to her saddle, and took out some wooden bowls. He brought over the items and sat beside me, placing the bowls between us. Dropping some berries in one of them, he handed it to me. “The rabbit is nearly finished, but you may eat this in the meantime.”

I nodded and popped one in my mouth. They were blackberries (or something similar at least) and tasted perfectly sweet and juicy. “This is so _nice_ , _hahren_ ,” I said, plopping another one into my mouth. “Like a little picnic.”

“And to think,” he said, turning the rabbit over the fire, “I did not even need to steal it.”

I laughed, covering my mouth with my hand and remembering my stupid campfire story. “Lucky you didn't, too, because then I would have to punch you.”

He smiled, removing the meat from the flames. “Somehow such a threat brings me little fear,” he mocked.

I hit him playfully on the arm. “I can punch really hard when I want to!” I defended. _Or at least I like to think so_...

“I’m sure,” he said, smiling and examining my face. He reached a thumb to my chin, pressing it lightly against my skin. “Berry... juice,” he said slowly, brushing his thumb over my lips now. He leaned a little closer to me.

My heart started racing as I stared at the slowly approaching elf. I held my breath.  _It's really happening, isn't it??_

Suddenly a weird screeching _Eeeahhhhhh!_ noise sounded behind us.

We both jumped and looked back. A halla emerged between some trees, making the weird bleating noise. It blinked at us and then turned around and disappeared back into the forest. Solas snapped his attention back to the food, suddenly very interested in slicing some potatoes with a knife. _DAMN YOU, YOU FUCKING HALLA!!!!!_

I finished eating the berries, cursing my luck with that stupid antlered animal. _Why does this always happen to me??_ I stared at the wooden bowl in my lap, too embarrassed to look at the hobo. Solas was very sweet, though, and he took the bowl from me, placing some vegetables and rabbit in it. “Thank you,” I said quietly, accepting the meal from him.

The two of us ate in awkward silence, or at least I was pretty sure it was and _not_ the companionable silence kind, because the whole time I was thinking about what might have happened if that annoying halla hadn’t interrupted, and my face kept feeling hotter and hotter. I sneaked a glance at the hobo, and he seemed extremely focused on his food, as if it was going to disappear if he didn’t keep an eye on it or something. _Sigh._

We finished and cleaned up a bit, and Solas put out the veilfire. I laid down on the ground then, trying to get comfortable on the forest floor. Solas did the same, settling in near me. I shivered a bit. Now that the fire was out, the cold air of the night was starting to get to me. “Solas?” I asked.

“Yes?” he answered, eyes closed.

“I’m cold,” I told him.

He opened his eyes and turned his body towards mine. With a smile, he reached a hand towards my face, gently drawing a symbol into my cheek with his finger. He lingered there a moment, before curving his finger around my jaw towards my chin. He withdrew his hand. “Sleep well,” he whispered. He laid down on his back again and closed his eyes.

I felt the fire rune instantly warm my body, sending a shiver down my spine. I soon relaxed, though, and eventually fell asleep.

_That halla better not mess up my sleep, too._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [This is what](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RX0K9rBqxLY&t=0m9s) I imagined a halla to sound like lol.


	49. Andaran Solasan

It was warm, pleasantly so. The sun was shining brightly, and I had to shade my eyes at first. _Where was I?_ I wondered.

I took a step forward, and the ground lit up delicately beneath my bare foot. An entire path highlighted in a gentle gold before me, guiding me down some magical road. The street was lined with buildings, and as I looked up, I noticed they towered high above me. Stories upon stories, like ancient skyscrapers with stone facades, glimmering with symbols.

The architecture had bridges connecting each other, pathways weaving throughout the different levels of the metropolis. I walked my way through a large, beautiful archway that had trees intertwined within it. Nature and city in a perfect symbiosis.

I felt light, happy. I sensed music in the air, but every time I tried to listen, no song was actually playing. I continued to walk, coming to a smaller footbridge. Peering over the edge of its railing, I realized the city was high in the sky, the cloudy earth miles below it.

I recognized this place from Solas’ painting in his room in Skyhold: Arlathan.

Continuing my way down the path, I noticed there were a few elves nearby. They were standing in a smaller archway, one nearly entirely constructed of tree branches. The elves laughed with each other, their non- _vallaslin_ ned faces and pointy ears slightly flushed with happiness. I stepped closer to them, intrigued. Their eyes glowed ever so slightly with a magic that had been long forgotten.

The elves didn’t notice me at all; they couldn’t see me. They spoke with rich, cheerful voices, in an ancient language I couldn’t understand. As they talked, they gestured with their hands, and little sparks of magic would dance along their fingers.

“Fen’Harel,” one of them exclaimed under his breath, looking at a figure in the distance. The elves bowed their heads, hushing their conversation.

I turned to see Solas approaching, looking similar to the Fen’Harel I had seen at Falon’Din’s ball. He looked very noble indeed, wearing a silver and black high-necked suit that was lightly layered with exquisite fabrics. There were little metal adornments in his hair, pulling back his chestnut locks away from his face. He had a very serious expression as he nodded to the elves, greeting them sternly.

Then he turned his gaze towards me, and a smile warmed his features. “ _Ma_ Anna,” he said softly, taking the last few steps in my direction. “Welcome to the time of Elvhenan.” He took my hand then, leading me deeper into the city.

As he pulled me along, Solas explained things to me about the city. “I did not grow up here,” he said, “but I spent many years of my life living in Arlathan.”

He brought me through a building, briefly telling me the name of it. The entire ceiling was made of glass, with vines creeping along its windows. Sunlight poured down on us, and as I looked around, I noticed there were lots of elves in this area. They gathered around windows, captivated by whatever sat behind the glass. Wares of all different sorts were displayed in them, and I realized they must be shops.

And there were children, too. Running and playing in the streets. One little boy was chasing another, and he fell and stumbled onto the ground. I was amazed to see how the floor tiles beneath him shifted colors as he tumbled, from gold to blue to red. The fall looked painful, especially to his knees, but as he stood again, magic rose from the ground and repaired him instantly. He continued his running.

“Magic really _is_ everywhere, _hahren_ ,” I told Solas, who was still leading me somewhere.

He looked back at me. “Yes, _da’len_ ,” he confirmed. "It was as natural as breathing." He pulled me to the side, pausing in front of a store. “I used to frequent this bakery,” he said with a small smile, looking towards its window. There were all kinds of cakes in there, each of them glowing as if they were lanterns.

“You really like frilly cakes, huh?” I asked, laughing at him. “Why are they... _glowing_ , though? It seems like they would taste funny.”

Solas laughed. “They were delicious,” he defended, staring at the pastries. “Their magic held bursts of flavor that would surprise me in every bite.” The way he looked at that window, I swore he could have been a frilly cake spokesperson.

“I wish I could try them,” I said, stepping closer to the glass. So even the friggin’ food here had magic.

Solas smiled sadly at me, and started to walk again. He continued through another archway, until finally stopping in a little clearing. “This was a cherished place of mine.” He let go of my hand, stepping away and observing me intently.

The sight took my breath away. We were on the edge of the city, and Solas had brought me to a small park that opened to the entire world. I could see Thedas beneath us, green and blue and brown. Puffs of clouds moved slowly over the continent, and squinting further I could see the ocean. There were other floating cities in the sky around us, shining like little castles in the air.

“This is amazing, _hahren_ ,” I told Solas, staring at the world in awe.

“This is what was lost,” he said sadly, “due to my foolishness.”

I looked over at him. His eyes surveyed the view, and his hands were clasped behind him.

“It wasn’t all lost,” I said. He turned a curious gaze on me. “Thedas still endures.”

Solas broke eye contact, looking back towards the sky, disappointed in my answer.

I went and touched his arm. “Worlds _evolve_ , Solas. They change... and grow.” I looked out at the cities in the clouds. “Elvhenan is gone,” I said, “but in its death, new life has emerged.” I looked him carefully in the eye. “Would you destroy this new world, too? Only for a chance to restore the old?”

He gazed at me intensely, pouring into my eyes. “The People _need_ me,” he said in a low voice.

“But what about _my_ people, _hahren_? What about dwarves, Qunari?” I asked him. “Do they not matter?”

“Every life matters, _da’len_. But the People have suffered too long because of my pride.” He looked longingly at the buildings of Arlathan. He turned his attention back towards me, examining my face. “This is the first time I have spent this much time with _shemlen_ ,” he said, approaching me. “You have surprised me, as a human.” He lifted a hand, caressing my face. “I did not think they could be like you.” He pulled his hand back. “I wish no harm to your people by releasing my _lethallin_ ; I only wish to restore mine.”

“Do you think the elves’ magic will return?” I asked him.

“Nothing is for certain, _da’len_ ,” he said, giving me a small smile, “but it is unlikely.”

I nodded. “Would they build another Arlathan?” I asked, looking back towards the city.

He chuckled lightly, following my gaze. “Perhaps, but I will not be here to see it.” He looked at me. “I wish you hadn’t followed me, Anna.”

“I know,” I said, taking his hand.

“If they _did_ rebuild such a place, perhaps you could have seen it.” His thumb lightly grazed my hand. “You could have walked these streets, instead of only watching a memory,” he said wistfully.

Solas was certain this journey would kill us both. I gazed up into his sad, blue eyes. So much pain resided there, impossible to heal. I took a step closer to him, closing the small space between us.

As I leaned towards him, he eyed me intriguingly, bringing a hand to my face. His skin was glowing slightly, much more vibrant than what I was used to. He looked so young, this Solas from long ago. I wanted to ease his suffering; I wanted him to be happy.

My body felt warm, and my heart was racing. I lifted my chin up, inching towards his face, holding my breath. His hand was still on my cheek, fingers curled under my jaw, slowly pulling me closer. I closed my eyes in anticipation. I felt his breath on my skin, and his lips softly touched mine. _Mmmm_.

An alarm suddenly broke out in the Fade. Both our eyes flashed open. “The wards,” said Solas, startled.

“ _Wake up_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things have always been _easier_ in the Fade...
> 
> Finally those wards work though, huh??? Always at the wrong moment ;)
> 
> Inspiration for Arlathan [here](http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/simcountry/images/a/a2/Life_in_Metropolitan_Arlathan,_ca_7BCE.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20130809063218). Inspo for Solas’ outfit from [this mod](http://static-1.nexusmods.com/15/mods/728/images/175-2-1420801092.jpg) (combined with [this](http://img4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20141226233413/dragonage/images/c/c9/Inquisition_Arlathan_Elves_concept_5.png) lol). As for the metal adornments... well, for some reason I was picturing something like what [Kuchiki](http://images2.fanpop.com/image/polls/487000/487409_1278746837988_full.jpg) wears in Bleach (less gaudy, though). Random, lol.
> 
> Chapter title translation:  
>  _andaran solasan_ = enter this place in pride. "I dwell in this place, a place of pride."  
>  Although I'm just smashing words together so who knows lol


	50. Home

We woke instantly, sitting up, and Solas reflexively reached for his staff. He immediately tried to stand up, but a warning arrow hit the ground near his feet. It was still the middle of the night, and I could barely make out the forest.

“ _Don’t move_ ,” a deep voice in the shadows said.

Solas stopped, but his hand still grasped his staff.

The archer approached us slowly, bow aimed at Solas, examining us suspiciously. He was a Dalish elf, with markings on his face that hailed Elgar’nan. “A flat-ear and a _shem_ ,” he spat. “What brings you to these woods?”

“We were only resting,” Solas said cautiously, his jaw clenching. “We have a long journey ahead of us.”

“Journey to _where_?” the elf asked warily.

“Verchiel,” Solas lied. “I am escorting this woman there. She has lost a family member and is returning home.” The Dread Wolf’s mask showed no cracks of uncertainty.

The Dalish archer was still suspicious, though, and he gestured his head towards some unseen allies. A few more elves emerged from the trees, making four of them in total. They all had their bows drawn, pointing straight at our faces.

“Come with me,” the first archer said. They escorted us through the forest, winding deeper into the wood. One of the elves took our horses with him, while two others remained threateningly at our sides, and the Elgar’nan-marked elf led the front.

Firelight lit up an area ahead of us, and I realized we were walking towards a Dalish camp. I could hear music as we approached, and people were laughing and talking. We passed a (rather pissed-off-looking) Fen’Harel wolf statue, and I gave Solas a nudge. He only looked at me sternly, concern all over his features.

We came to a clearing, and the rest of the Dalish clan were settled there. It looked like a huge party was going on; everyone was drinking, and there was a big area for dancing. One corner of the camp had musicians and a singer, but they stopped playing the music upon our arrival. The encampment also had the usual Dalish stuff: aravels, halla, etc.

“Keeper Merriva!” our Elgar’nan-marked captor called. “We have found two trespassers!”

The Keeper groaned loudly. She was an older elven lady, her graying hair braided loosely around her head, tendrils trailing around her pointed ears. She had Mythal _vallaslin_ like my Inquisitor. “ _Trespassers_?” she asked dubiously. “Really, Jaren, _today_ of all days?”

“But they were too close to the clan! It’s dangerous to let strangers be so nearby,” the elf named Jaren argued.

The Keeper raised a brow. “And what _exactly_ were they doing?”

The hunter shifted a bit nervously. “They were... they were, uh, _sleeping..._ ” he said quietly. “But this flat-ear is a mage! He set wards all in the forest, and it nearly burned me and Senhon!” he argued indignantly.

Keeper Merriva rolled her eyes. “Release them, Jaren,” she commanded, quite annoyed. “I’m sure those wards were only for their safety.” She turned her gaze to the two of us. “What brings you to these woods?” she asked.

“We were only resting during our travels,” Solas explained. “We were unaware of your settlement. We mean you no harm.” His voice was calm and soothing, perfectly trustworthy (although I was _slightly_ biased). He stood behind me, his hand grasping my arm protectively.

“He says he’s escorting this _shem_ to Verchiel, Merriva,” Jaren interjected abruptly.

The Keeper looked between the two of us curiously. “Well, I don’t see them causing any trouble,” she concluded. “And for the inconvenience Jaren has caused you, I invite you to stay with us tonight.”

“ _Ma serannas_ ,” Solas thanked, “but we will be on our way. There is no need for us to intrude.”

“Oh, nonsense!” she said, smiling and dismissing us with a waving hand. “Tonight’s the Revas Festival, the more the merrier!” she exclaimed.

“The Revas Festival?” I asked.

“Yes,” she affirmed, still smiling warmly, “we hold the event every year to mark the anniversary of our clan’s founding.”

“Oh, _fun_!” I exclaimed excitedly. I turned my head towards Solas. “Can we stay? Please?”

He looked extremely concerned, his brow furrowed. “Anna, we should be _going_ ,” he urged.

I sighed. I was still tired, my sleep having been interrupted. A party sounded so fun, so nice and relaxing...

“Oh, let the girl have some fun! The two of you look so weary...” Merriva observed.

I turned towards Solas. “Let’s just stay for a little while, please? I’m really tired, aren’t you?”

His hand still held my arm, and he gave it a little squeeze. He didn’t like this idea at all; I could tell from the worry in his eyes. “Only until morning,” he hesitantly conceded.

I smiled. “Thank you.”

“Okay, so it’s settled!” the Keeper exclaimed. “Let everyone get back to the fun!” The elves all cheered (except for that dick Jaren). A few started playing some music again. Merriva walked a little closer to us. “Welcome to Clan Nelaron,” she said.

“I’m Anna,” I introduced, “and this is Solas.” I pointed to the wolf behind me.

She bowed her head slightly in acknowledgement. “I am Keeper Merriva. We don’t often have visitors, so please don’t feel offended by any...  _resistant_ behavior. No one will harm you here, I give you my word.” She smiled and walked away, leaving us to the party.

I jittered excitedly, and Solas finally let go of my arm. “What do you wanna do, _hahren_?” I asked him. “It looks like some people are dancing. Do you wanna dance?” I smiled eagerly towards him.

He shook his head. “No, _da’len_ , I do not want to attract unnecessary attention.”

I rolled my eyes. “I _think_ we’re past that point already.”

“Let us just sit and rest somewhere quietly,” he suggested.

I gave him a small smile. “Okay,” I agreed, taking his hand in mine. He quickly pulled away though and cleared his throat, walking to another area of the camp. _Right_. Dalish would probably be weirded out by a human and city-elf being so close...  _I guess?_

I followed Solas through the encampment, passing the dancing Dalish along the way, until I reached him near a large bonfire. He seated himself on a long wooden log, placing his staff precariously at his feet.

“I’ll go get us something to eat, okay?” I said, patting his shoulder lightly.

He stood up. “Then I will go with you,” he said.

“No, no!” I said, trying to push him back down. “Stay here, I’ll just be right back!” I turned to walk away but he grabbed my arm.

“ _Da’len_ , no, we will go together.”

I shrugged. “If you really want to, I guess.” He let go of my arm, and we walked together to some large casks of wine situated in a little corner of the settlement. There were a couple of elves sitting on some stools next to it, a man and a woman, drinking out of some large tankards. “Can we get some of that?” I asked them with a smile.

They looked at us questioningly. “Here,” the male elf said after a moment, filling a glass. He handed me the wine.

“ _Ma serannas_ ,” I said, smiling.

He perked an eyebrow, looking somewhat amused by my Elvish term, and nodded. “Does your city friend want one too?” he asked.

I looked at Solas, awaiting a response. “Yes, thank you,” the hobo answered. The Dalish elf handed him another. He examined the both of us, highly intrigued.

“Well, thanks again!” I said awkwardly, turning back towards the party. The two of us walked back to our log and sat down. I sipped the wine, which was pretty good. “ _Hmmm_ , not bad, Clan Nelaron, _not_ bad...” I looked at Solas. “Do you like it?”

He shrugged indifferently, watching the bonfire nearby.

“Come on, _hahren_! Don’t be so gloomy.” I took another sip. _Tasty_.

“We would not even be in this situation if I had been more careful,” he said bitterly.

“We’re fine now, Solas, and that’s all that matters,” I tried to console, rubbing his arm with my hand. I drank some more wine.

“We were lucky this clan was friendly. I have seen far too many Dalish kill without thought,” he said, staring into the fire.

“I know,” I said softly, ceasing my rubbing to take his hand instead, “but not all Dalish are like that. You can trust people sometimes.”

He sighed, squeezing my hand. He moved our linked palms between the two of us so it would be hidden from view. “I only trust you, _da’len_ ,” he said quietly.

I took another sip of the wine and leaned my head on his shoulder. “Isn’t it nice here?” I asked him. “They’re so happy, like a big family.”

“Yes,” he agreed, “they are fortunate to find such camaraderie within their clan.”

“You can tell they really love each other, and care about each other,” I said. “Their clan is their home.”

His thumb caressed the skin of my hand. “I am glad for them,” he said morosely.

“You can have that, too, you know,” I suggested. “You can find a new family, a new home.”

“I know where my home is, _da’len_ ,” he said sadly, “and it is long forgotten from this world.”

“That’s not true,” I said. “You can always find a new home.”

“I could say the same for you, Anna.”

“Yes, you could,” I conceded. “But I don’t reject this world because it’s different from mine. I just make the best of my situation, and I’ve learned to love living here. I feel at home now.”

“You do?” Solas asked, surprised.

“I think so,” I said, watching some elves dance together across the fire. “I never really felt like I belonged in my world anyway... I mean, _of course_ I belonged; I was born there, raised there, but I didn’t feel particularly attached to it. I was always so caught up in fantasy, in dreams... I never wanted to face reality.” I paused, looking at the impossible situation surrounding me. “And now that I live here... well, it’s like my fantasy has become reality, and I find it oddly comforting. Like I can actually be happy without worrying.”

Solas had been completely quiet during my monologue, absently caressing my hand with his fingers. He rested his head atop of mine when I finished, though, and said gently, “I know exactly how you feel.”

“Are you saying you’re happy here?” I asked, surprised.

He paused a moment. “No,” he answered, “but I know what it is like to live only in dreams. To desire a reality that can never be... But this Thedas was never my fantasy.”

I sighed. “I know... but you never even gave it a chance.”

“I _did_ , _da’len_ ,” he argued. “For years, I walked these lands, learning its history and its people. And the more I learned, the further connected from it I felt. This is not my home. And this can never be my home, because I destroyed it long ago.”

I didn’t answer for a while. I continued to stare at the dancing Dalish, focusing my eyes on their laughter and smiles. Solas was being grim and fatalistic. And I was pretty sure it _wasn’t_ to get me into bed. “I want you to be happy, _hahren_ ,” I said quietly. “Modern Thedas is not like Elvhenan, but that doesn’t mean it can’t make you happy.” I moved my head to look him in the eye. “You can be happy if you allow yourself to.”

“I do not know how to be happy, _da’len_. Not when the guilt of my actions consume me.”

“How can you say that?” I demanded. “How can you say that when you act so happy with me?” I placed my forehead on his arm in frustration. “Can’t I make you happy?”

“You have made me happier than I ever thought possible,” he said softly, “but I cannot betray my people... and myself.”

“I love you,” I said in a whisper, my head still planted on his arm. “I don’t want you to die.”

He turned, moving his arm and causing me to look up at him. He placed both hands on my arms, his eyes pouring into mine. They were full of sadness and pain.

“Uh,” a voice said, interrupting the moment, “Merriva told me to come over.”

We both looked up to see that douche Jaren, who was standing there holding his own glass of wine. “She told me to apologize,” he said (rather unwillingly), “for treating you like trespassers.”

“It’s okay, really,” I said quickly, wanting him to leave.

His expression scrunched up into disdain, distorting the lines of his _vallaslin_. “I don’t need a _shem’s_ approval, thanks,” he spat rudely.

I rolled my eyes, but Solas stood up suddenly. “Apologize immediately,” he demanded.

Jaren was taken aback, his mouth hanging open in disbelief. I couldn’t see Solas’ expression, but whatever it looked like _definitely_ changed the Dalish’s mind. “I—I’m sorry,” he stuttered quickly. He backed away a few steps before turning to leave completely.

Solas sat back down, still fuming slightly. “I cannot believe the nerve of these Dalish.”

“It was only him, _hahren_ ,” I corrected.

He glared angrily into the fire. “It was enough.”

I sighed. Was he ever going to accept modern elves? _Stupid Jaren_. He had to be the most stereotypical Dalish ever. I tipped my head back, staring into the starry night instead. There were two moons in the sky, although one was bigger (and brighter) than the other.

I wasn’t going to lie to myself. The only reason I felt at home in Thedas was because of this wolf beside me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Home is where the hobo is...
> 
> I was listening to the radio, and heard that song ["Rather Be"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mCTGJI8TYbA) by Clean Bandit and I realized the lyrics fit Anna and Solas perfectly, especially for this chapter.
> 
> Elvish translations:  
>  _ma serannas_ = my thanks  
>  _shem_ = quickling, derogatory word for humans


	51. Like No One's Watching

I noticed my glass was empty now, so I stood up. “I’m going to get some more wine,” I told Solas. I walked over to the casks again, and he didn’t follow. I was slightly relieved that he didn’t come along, feeling frustrated by his behavior and his unwillingness to change his mind. It was like everything I had said just went through one pointy ear and straight out the other. _Why can’t he just accept this world? What can't we just be happy?_

I reached the wine-kegs, and the two elves were still sitting there. I asked the same guy again, “Could I have some more, please?”

He smiled, taking my flagon from me. He quickly filled it and handed it back. “Having fun?” the elf asked me.

I shrugged, frowning, my posture slightly hunched in a depressed fashion.

“Your city friend isn’t very good company, is he?” the elf asked with a smile.

I smiled, trying to be polite. “He’s... tired,” I explained lamely. _Tired of your people_.

“My name is Therion,” he introduced. “This is Ariasa,” he said, pointing to the female beside him.

I nodded. “I’m Anna.”

He grinned a little wider, in almost a mischievous way. “So... what’s your relationship with that guy, anyway?” he asked. _Relationship?_

I shrugged, sitting down on a stool beside him. I had little desire to return to that hobo. “Nothing, really,” I said with a sigh. “Just your average _da’len-hahren_  sort of thing.”

Therion laughed, raising a brow. “ _What_?” he asked. “But the two of you are...” he laughed again, looking at Ariasa beside him. “Did you _hear_ that?” he asked her, as if I wasn’t sitting _right_ there. _I guess it would be pretty weird to hear from a human though..._

“So you two aren’t together, then?” Ariasa asked with an unexpectedly serious look towards me.

“Nope,” I said, taking a big gulp. “Not in the least,” I said bitterly.  _Sigh_.

“Great,” she chirped, hopping up suddenly and walking away. I watched as she headed straight for Solas, perching her slender figure beside him on the log. A slight panic came over me, but I washed it away with some more wine. _No_ , I thought, _he wouldn’t do anything with her_. Right?

“Do you want to dance?” Therion asked me suddenly, a smirk on his lips. He was pretty good-looking, I supposed. His skin was beautifully tan, and his long, dark hair was braided down his back. His face wore Andruil’s _vallaslin_.

I swallowed another mouthful of wine, feeling the alcohol burn through my veins. “Um, _yes_ ,” I said. I was starting to feel buzzed from my drinking, and the thought of dancing was exciting (and distracting). _I should be able to enjoy this party at least_ somewhat. Bring on the dancing!

He smiled, offering me a hand to help me up. “Let’s go, then,” he said. This Therion seemed like a nice enough guy, after all.

I followed him to the other dancing elves, who were moving rhythmically in an area near the musicians. They danced completely differently from the Orlesian ball in Halamshiral. It was much more natural... _primal_ , in a way, their bodies happily shaking to the music. There was no Game, no masks, no secrets... just elves having fun and enjoying each other’s company.

As we walked, I unbuckled my hunter coat, folding it neatly on the outskirts of the dancers. I didn’t want my armor hindering my _moves_ (not like they were anything to be proud of, _cough_ ). Therion led me to the middle of the group, turning towards me and giving me a little smiling nod. He didn’t touch me, but only started bouncing to the rhythm, hopping and swinging his limbs to the music. It was surprisingly graceful, in a folksy sort of way, and I tried to imitate it as best I could. I laughed as I clumsily attempted to fit in with the others, but soon my body took on its usual form, swaying and spinning in habitual movements.

My partner laughed, too, and it felt nice to just let myself go along with all the elves. After a little while, Therion grabbed me by the waist and hand, and we started skipping along to the music together. He swung me around, and our hands would continuously break and join together repeatedly in natural patterns.

The music was upbeat and fun, and all the dancers were hot and giddy with excitement. Therion and I kept laughing and smiling, and when the song ended, we both stood there heavily out of breath. “You’re a great dancer,” he complimented, grinning.

I smiled. “So are you,” I said. I had been surprisingly comfortable.

“I’ve never seen dancing like that,” he observed, somewhat astonished-sounding.

“Shh,” I said, putting a finger to my lips, “It’s a _shem_ secret.”

He laughed, and another song started. He inclined his head towards me, a half-smile on his lips, his expression clearly asking for another round. I smiled, and we started dancing again. This song was fast and bouncy like the previous one, and we fell into a similar rhythm.

Dancing like this helped me forget about my current wolf problems. _I should just enjoy myself, live life..._

So I danced and danced, and not always with Therion, either. We continued to spin, changing partners and grinning with everyone else. I felt like I touched hands with everyone there after a few songs, and the way we moved in such synchronization, it nearly felt practiced. But it wasn’t, and that was the beauty and joy of it all.

I eventually became too tired to continue, and Therion walked back with me to the wine casks. I picked up my coat along the way, wrapping it over my forearm and feeling thankful for the cool night air. My body had heated considerably from the dancing, and I felt fatigued and... a _little_ turned on. The elves’ dancing style was not very modest, and the constant skin-on-skin contact had left me wanting more.

I sat down on one of the little stools again, glancing across the camp towards Solas. He made eye contact with me as I did so, but there was no emotion in his face (from what I could tell, at least). That Ariasa elf was still sitting beside him, too. I looked away and leaned back, resting on the side of the large barrel and trying not to think anything of it.

“So...” Therion said, bringing my attention back to him, “... if you and that guy aren’t together... have you ever _been_ with an elf before?” he asked with a suggestively sly eyebrow in the air.

I laughed a little. “ _No..._ ” I said shyly.

“Ah,” he said, taking a sip of his own wine. “That’s very convenient, you see, because _I’ve_ never been with a human before.” He smiled at me, his expression full of... _implication_.

I felt my face get very hot. This guy was _forward_. Although, maybe it was common among the Dalish to be so suggestive after dancing like that... “Oh, really?” I said, chuckling nervously. I observed this Therion a little more closely. His body looked lithe and lean... the way most elves looked. From his dancing alone, he seemed like he knew how to show a lady a good time...

Maybe it was the wine talking, but the more I thought about it, the more I thought, _why not_? What would be so wrong with having a little fun? I was sick of Solas’ indomitable angst. I looked towards the hobo again. He was still sitting there with Ariasa, and it seemed like they were talking. She placed her hand on his knee... “I’m pretty tired, actually,” I told Therion abruptly. “I’ve been traveling all day... you wouldn’t happen to know a good place to sleep, would you?”

He raised a brow. “I know just the place,” he said, standing up and offering a hand to me again. I took it and followed him through the settlement. We approached a few rows of aravels, and he led me to one near the center. The elf walked up a little ramp and looked back at me. “You can sleep here,” he said with a smile. “This is my aravel.”

I nodded, following him up the ramp. Suddenly, someone grabbed my wrist behind me, preventing me from continuing on. I looked back to see Solas holding my arm. “Keeper Merriva has already allocated an aravel for us, _da’len_ ,” he said, his voice even. He was glaring menacingly at Therion, though.

The Dalish elf laughed. “Sorry, _hahren_ , I didn’t know.” He leaned his body against the aravel. “Goodnight, Anna,” he said with a grin. “I enjoyed dancing with you.”

“Bye,” I said as Solas began to pull me away. The wolf dragged me throughout the rows of aravels, not even looking back to see if I was okay (which I wasn’t _really_ because I kept stumbling all over the place like a drunken idiot).

He stopped in front of one, and I crashed clumsily into him. “The Keeper informed me this aravel is for guests,” Solas commented. He looked down at me, his eyes glowing in the dim light. “She told me we could stay here.” _When did_ this _conversation happen??_

“Uh, okay,” I said, a little befuddled.

Solas walked up the ramp and opened the door. He gestured for me to enter first. I did as he asked, and he closed it behind us. The aravel was pretty cozy, with little lanterns hanging from the ceiling and random Dalish knick-knacks on some shelves. I noticed there was only _one_ bedroll, though, although it was pretty wide. _A double bedroll?_

“You may sleep, _da’len_ ,” Solas said. He locked the door and drew a rune on it. It glowed for a few seconds before disappearing.

At this point, I did feel really, _really_ tired, and pretty drunk as well. I hobbled over to the bedroll, taking off another layer of clothing and tossing it to the side. Once I was down to my light cotton undershirt and smalls, I sank into the bed, pulling the covers over me.

“Your dancing was lovely, _da’len_ ,” Solas said quietly. I looked over to see he was still near the door, although seated now, his back to me.

“I didn’t know you were watching,” I remarked, my tone slightly acidic.

He didn’t respond, and only continued to sit there. _What is he even doing?_

“Aren’t you gonna sleep, _hahren_?” I asked him.

“I will keep watch,” he said determinedly. _He can’t be serious_.

“Solas!” I said, sitting up again. “We are _perfectly_ safe. You don’t need to stay up.”

He still had his back turned to me, sitting in front of the door. “I will not make that mistake again,” he said gloomily.

I sighed exasperatedly. He seemed so sad and remorseful, and I couldn't let him just sulk there all night. I crawled over towards him on my hands and knees. Once I reached him, I snaked my arms around his waist, placing my chin on his shoulder. “Please sleep, _hahren_ ,” I said softly into his ear. I pressed my body closer to his, giving him a little hug.

I craned my neck to give him a kiss on the cheek. It was slow and drawn out, and when I finished, I didn’t pull away, either. It was so _nice_ to be this close to him... I let my nose and lips graze along his skin, until I was nuzzling his neck. I caught his scent, and it smelled so _good_. I moaned against him. “ _I want you_ ,” I whispered into his skin, my voice laced with innuendo, “to rest.”

Solas tensed instantly in my arms, his body becoming rigid. “Go to sleep, _da’len_ ,” he warned. “I will remain here.”

I sighed and let him go. I scurried back to the bedroll, pulling the sheets back over me. I felt so embarrassed that I started to cry a little, but I didn’t think he heard.

Eventually, I fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anna gets a little............ _touchy_ when she's drunk....


	52. Deserted

It was so _dry_ here. I felt parched. The sun was beating on my back, merciless like hot flames. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky, and I was completely surrounded by sand. Dunes upon dunes, mountains of miniscule pebbles. I felt a light wind, but it only seemed to make it worst, blowing sand into my eyes and catching in my mouth.

It was horrible. I hated this place. I stumbled through the desert, my feet sinking into the dry earth with every step. I wanted to escape.

I made it over a dune, and I saw some tiny figures in the distance. There were four of them, little people that looked like black specks, the only other discernible objects in this wasteland. “Hey!” I shouted and waved my arms, trying to grab their attention. “Over here!”

They didn’t respond, but somehow came closer into view. They were still quite a way away, but I could see who they were now. It was the Inquisitor, with Varric, Cassandra, and Solas. They were trekking the wasteland, and Lavellan’s left palm was shining brightly, aimed in my direction.

“Inquisitor, please help!” I pleaded.

And soon they were there, right in front of me. All their weapons pointed straight at me, their eyes narrowed menacingly on my face.

“It ends here!” Lavellan cried. Her palm shot out electric green light that flew towards me, encapsulating me in a glowing, magical prison.

“No! Please, stop!” I begged. It was painful, and I was writhing around in the air now. Varric, Cassandra, and Solas began to attack me, too, throwing their strongest blows at my body.

“You don’t belong in this world,” the Inquisitor said, twisting her palm to strengthen the anchor’s magic.

“Solas, please don’t do this!” I begged the elf, locking my eyes with his. He was unseeing, though, continuing to cast spell after spell. I was only a target to be defeated.

“Anna!” came his voice, and the figures all disappeared. I landed in the sand, the pain now gone. Solas’ arms were around me, and I realized it was a dream. “I’m here,” he said softly.

I was overcome by the violence of the dream, the hatred in their eyes... in _his_ eyes. I felt distraught and sick from the thought of him hating me, of him abandoning me without feeling... “How did she just let you leave?” I asked him quietly. “How did she let you go?”

“Who, _da’len_?” he asked, still holding me.

“ _The Inquisitor_ ,” I choked out. I thought I was crying, but it was hard to tell in the Fade, like the emotion was there, but I couldn’t feel the tears.

He paused a moment, contemplating. “I told her I was going to die, and that it was my dying wish to leave,” he explained softly into my ear.

The steadiness of his voice soothed me a bit, and I noticed there were no winds now, and the sun no longer burned. But what he said to Lavellan... “That’s so cruel, _hahren_ ,” I cried.

Solas turned me around in his arms so I was facing him. “Crueler than leaving without any other explanation?” he asked defensively.

“No, but... it’s manipulative,” I said, looking up into his eyes. He was his normal hobo self, his gaze tender and soft, and I found that comforting.

“Yes, but I had little choice,” he said, touching my hair with a hand.

I felt so overwhelmed from the dream, from his words... I cared so much for him now, it was like he was my entire world. Was this how Lavellan felt about him? How could she ever let him go if she did?

I wanted to live with Solas, happy and free, and doing whatever we pleased. I wanted to dance with him, laugh with him, touch him, hold him, kiss him... Why couldn’t I have that? Why was life so unfair?

“I don’t want you to die. I don’t want you to leave. I can’t do what the Inquisitor did; I can’t let you go,” I said in a muttering rush.

“Anna,” he said, pulling my head to his chest. “ _Please_.”

“How can she let you go if she still loves you? How could she ever?” I asked into his tunic.

He gently rubbed my back. “I’m not certain she ever did love me, _da’len_ ,” he said quietly.

 _WHAT?!_ I pulled away, staring directly into his eyes. “What do you mean? What are you saying?!” There was no way that could be true...

He sighed, looking out into the Fade-desert. “She had doubts,” he explained, “about what we had.”

I shook my head, suddenly angry that she would make him feel worse than he already did. “You _know_ it was real, _hahren_ ,” I said determinedly.

“Yes, but... she told me ‘real love doesn’t keep secrets the way you did.’ ” His voice was impossibly quiet as he recited her words.

“I’m sure she didn’t mean it,” I said, touching his cheek with my fingers. He had so much guilt, every bit of his face looked mournful.

“She said she was numb to it all now,” he continued, still looking away from me, “because I was never really _with_ her in the first place.”

“She was just lashing out,” I tried to assure him. I wrapped my arms around his waist, squeezing him tight. _Please just be happy, forgive yourself..._

“And she told me I would only hurt you, as well.”

“Me?” I asked, looking up at him.

He met my gaze. “Her words were very honest... and I cannot help but see the truth in them.” He stood perfectly still, his eyes glowing slightly as he looked at me.

“You loved her. That was real,” I said. I couldn’t let him think otherwise. She was the only modern elf he truly cared for.

He hesitated a moment. “Yes... But not enough to see past my own selfishness. Not enough to save her from the pain.”

I pressed my head against his chest again. “You shouldn’t punish yourself. Everyone deserves some happiness.”

“I am long past deserving.” His voice was so soft, so distant.

“I disagree,” I said gently. “And besides, she’s a lot stronger than you think. I’m sure she’s doing fine.”

“You are right,” he said, resting his head on mine. “She is able to move on... No, she already has.”

“You think so?” _Has she moved on? Was that why she said those things? Was that why she let him leave?_

“Yes. I believe so,” Solas said. “And this eases my mind...”

“Well... that’s good?” I said, slightly confused. He was upset and yet... relieved?

Solas pulled away slightly to look at me again. “Excuse me, _da’len_. I am not used to expressing myself to others.”

I raised an eyebrow. “What are you trying to say, _hahren_?”

“I only bring others pain.” He raised a hand to my cheek. “I will only bring you pain, Anna.”

“You’re wrong. You’re completely wrong.” I hugged him tighter, refusing to let him go. I stared up into his sorrowful blue eyes. “You’re the only one who makes me happy.”

He exhaled, and he looked so pained. “I never anticipated meeting you. I never meant to let this get so far...”

“I didn’t either! But I’m here, and it did,” I argued. “And I can’t let you go.”

“You mean so much to me,” he said in a whisper.

“Then _stay_ with me. Let’s just go somewhere together, let’s find a new home,” I pleaded. _Don’t leave me, don’t die_.

“I _can’t_ , Anna!” he said harshly, letting me go. “There are more important things than us!” he shouted passionately. “I _have_ to right this world, why can’t you understand?!” He turned from me, stepping away and grabbing his head with his hands in anguish.

The Fade rippled angrily and then ended in a sudden blackness.

 

*****

 

I woke up feeling miserably tired with a heavy weight on my stomach. I blinked, confused by the pressure on my abdomen, until I realized it was Solas’ arm. He was lying beside me, his hand curled around my waist, anchoring me flush to his body. He had placed his arm under my shirt, too, so that my bare skin touched his hand, and his face was buried deep into my hair, close to my ear.

I felt so shocked from the difference of my dream and waking life. He had been so angry, so severe just seconds ago, but now he was...  _cuddling_. Quite hypocritically, really. He was probably unaware, though, and this was just some natural(??) activity for him.

I couldn’t help but feel slightly happy from the affection, even if it was almost agonizing to know he was oblivious. He had to want me, too, on _some_ level if he was behaving like this... right? I was also embarrassingly aware of just how barely clothed I was. _Why do I act so recklessly when I’m drunk??_

I wondered why Solas was still sleeping. I had assumed both of us would wake up, but he must have only forced _me_ awake. _What was he still dreaming about?_

I tried to pull away to get a better view of his face, hoping to find some answers. But the moment I did it, he _growled_. It was a low, feral sort of noise, and one that I had never heard from him before. He immediately pulled me back to him, burrowing his nose further into my hair until he reached my neck. His hand moved up from my stomach to my ribcage. _Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god_. Was he feeling me up right now??

He continued to pull my body towards him until I was tightly squeezed against him. The wolf inhaled deeply and moaned slightly. He then kissed my neck, and I gasped from surprise.

Solas finally woke from the noise, and all the muscles of his body seem to stiffen around me at the realization of our predicament. He quickly removed his arm and scooted a few feet away.

My heart was racing as I turned my head to look into his eyes. His were huge, dilated and panicked. I shifted closer to him, and he continued to back away until he was pressed against a wall. “So... I guess you slept after all?” I asked him, still edging closer.

“Yes,” he said warily, eyes still wide. “I’m sorry...”

I continued to move closer, until our bodies touched and my face was inches from his, our breathing slightly unsteady. _I know you want me, too_. I wasn’t going to let him get away.

“ _Anna_ ,” he whispered, his voice pleading me _no_. There was genuine fear in his eyes, but something else, too... something that betrayed his tone.

“Don’t,” I said. _Screw what he said in the Fade, I should have a choice, too!_ I was so close to him, I could count every freckle on his face. I took one last look into his eyes before closing my own and meeting his lips with mine.

He remained perfectly still, hesitant and cautious. But I pressed deeper, I wanted him so badly. I placed a hand on his neck, bringing him even closer and lightly caressing his bottom lip. He was so warm, his mouth so soft, and all I wanted was _more_.

Solas moaned softly and finally kissed me back, grasping and molding me to him. His lips moved tenderly and full of longing, but still I could sense some resistance.

A hand moved to my cheek, cradling my head at first, before gently pulling me away until our lips broke apart. “We can’t, Anna,” he said softly. “It will only make this harder, only cause more pain.”

“Why?!” I cried in agony, pressing my forehead against his.

“You know why,” he said, turning his head away. He pulled away from me and stood up.

“I don’t, I really don’t,” I said hopelessly as I watched him put his armor on, his back towards me. He remained silent, though, refusing to answer, as he finished and stepped out the door.

I buried my face in my hands, curling into a ball on the wooden floor. Tears streamed down my face as a depression washed over me, the rejection taking its hold.

_It’s just me, isn’t it?_


	53. Bartering

I calmed down after lying alone in the aravel for a while. It wasn’t a terribly long time... maybe just an hour. _It’s fine_ , I thought to myself. _This is just how he is_. His duty will always take priority. Always. It was coded in his soul.

I got dressed and headed out the door. It was still morning, and I felt exhausted (and depressed). How did I honestly believe we could be together, that I could stop him from his mission? It meant everything to him. It meant more than me.

As I exited, I noticed Solas sitting on the grass on the other side of the camp, facing the forest with his back turned to me.

I didn’t feel ready to talk to him yet, so I just walked quietly around the camp, observing the aftermath of the previous night’s festivities. There were hungover elves passed out everywhere, lying in different positions in every corner. I was pretty sure at least _some_ of them got down ( _if you know what I mean_ ), not even bothering to go into an aravel or behind a tree. All of them had such a wonderful night. _Lucky bastards_.

Some of the Dalish were up though, beginning their morning routines. An elf nearby was setting up a little booth, and I realized she was a trader of some sort. I approached the woman. “Good morning!” I greeted, trying to sound as pleasant as possible. _If I_ sound _happy, I may trick myself into actually_ feeling _happy..._

I looked over her table of wares. She was a weapons seller, mainly specializing in rogue daggers and bows. “Anything interest you?” she asked me with a curious expression on her face.

“Hmmm.” I considered the weapons, holding a dagger closer to my view. _Like I could ever stab a guy_. I set the knife back down.

“Do you actually _shoot_ with that bow?” a voice said behind me, surprising me. Therion stepped up beside me, smirking a little. He twanged the string of my bow that always hung from my back.

I shrugged. “I don’t have anything else,” I remarked, slightly annoyed.

He lifted his chin a little, acknowledging the trader. “Get her one of the good ones, yeah?”

The seller half-smiled, bringing out a longbow with beautiful branch engravings. “Ohhh,” I cooed, eyeing the bow’s craftsmanship.

“Superb elven quality,” Therion bragged, nodding towards the weapon. “And I can assure you, it will be exceptionally easier to aim than _that_.” He pointed to my hanging longbow.

I took the bow from the trader’s hands, holding it as if shooting. I noticed the arrow rest _was_ a lot more pronounced on this bow... and the grip felt very comfortable, too. “Okay,” I said, nodding to the seller. “How much?”

She arched a brow. “Eighty gold pieces,” she said in a very _frank_ tone.

_Say what?!_ That price was ridiculous! I set the bow on her table. “Heh,” I mumbled awkwardly, “Maybe not...”

“Come _on_ , Vani,” Therion bartered. “Sixty-five.”

The elf gave him a deadpan stare. “Seventy.”

“Sixty?” he asked, putting on a particularly charming expression.

“Seventy,” she repeated immovably, glaring a little now.

I opened my coin purse, checking my cash. _Oh shit_ , I thought, glancing up quickly at the two elves to see if they noticed (they didn’t). _I’m fucking loaded_.

“You _know_ , I’m fine with seventy!” I exclaimed, bringing their attention to me. I started counting out the gold pieces on her little table. _One... two... three...... There has to be a better way to count money..._

When I finally finished, I pushed the pile towards her. She smiled and handed me the bow, pleased with the sale. I smiled back. “And you can have my old one, too!” I said, taking the weapon from my back.

Therion coughed, as if trying to hide a laugh. “How, uh, _generous_ of you,” he commented with a smirk.

I traced my finger along the engravings of my new bow’s handle. _Pretty_. There were even little leaves on the branches as well. I fastened it to my back and nodded at the seller, starting to walk away. Therion joined, falling into step with me. _Sigh_.

He _had_ been pretty nice with helping me buy the bow, though. “Thanks for the bartering... and the recommendation, too,” I said to him. I let out a (slightly bitter) laugh. “I guess I should have known someone with Andruil’s _vallaslin_ would know a good bow.”

He smiled. “How do you know so much about elves? Did your _hahren_ teach you that?” he asked, truly intrigued.

I shrugged, looking towards the ground. “I like elven culture,” I answered vaguely.

“Well, however you learned, I’m glad I met you,” he said with a smile. “I never thought humans would care about elves,” he said quietly.

I tried my best to smile. “Well, some of us do,” I said. “So spread the word!” I exclaimed with feigned enthusiasm.

He laughed. “I will,” he said with a wink.

We were still walking together, although I didn’t know where to. I was trying to look at other traders, but none of them caught my interest. I was glad Therion was walking with me, though. He was a friendly little elf, and it was easy to talk to him, even though I wasn’t particularly in the mood for conversation. It helped.

“I hope I didn’t upset your _hahren_ too much last night,” he said after a while.

I waved my hand to dismiss his apology. “You don’t have to be sorry. He just gets grumpy like that,” I explained. I briefly wondered what he _would_ say if I told him who Solas really was. _Fen’Harel is gonna getcha now, little boy!_

Therion chuckled. “Are you two leaving today?” he asked.

“Probably,” I said with a sigh. There were no more shops to peruse, and I found myself near the edge of camp where Solas was still seated, motionless like a Dread Wolf statue.

“Well, if you _ever_ run into Clan Nelaron again,” Therion said, taking a step away from me, “maybe we can finish what we started.” He grinned at me, the lines of his _vallaslin_ curving happily around his mouth.

I gave him a tight-lipped smile and slight nod. _Yeah, that’s never gonna happen._

He nodded, still smiling, and backed away a few more steps before turning around to head off somewhere. _I think he looks even better in daylight_ , I thought with a sigh.

I turned towards the hobo, who sat a good few paces away at the edge of the forest, cross-legged and pensive. _Time to face reality_. I took a few steps towards him, taking my time in moving one foot in front of the other.

“I am sorry,” he said at my approach, not even turning around. I paused.

“No...” I said, my eyes on his back. “I’m sorry... I’m sorry for making this so hard for you.” I exhaled tiredly. “I still want to go with you, and I won’t try to stop you anymore. I know how important your quest is.”

He stood up and slowly turned around. “Thank you,” he answered softly. He looked dismal, and I was sure I had a similar expression.

I smiled a little. _At least I wasn’t the only one feeling shitty_. “Come on, wolf,” I said, gesturing a hand over my shoulder. “Let’s get out of here before these Dalish remember us crashing their party.”

He took a couple steps towards me. “Would you like to stay with them?” he asked quietly.

I laughed a little in disbelief. “Are you serious? Did you forget I was a human or something?” I asked, pointing a finger to one of my ears.

“They would accept you,” he said, looking out at the camp behind me.

I raised an eyebrow. “Your opinion of the Dalish is weirdly higher, then.”

He cracked a small smile. “You are clearly a bad influence on me, _da’len_.”

“Ha!” said, smacking him hard on the arm. “If anything, it’s _me_ getting the bad influence.”

“Well, I will not argue with that,” he said with a slightly bigger smile. _I love his stupid smile_. I reached out to take his hand, out of habit, I supposed, but then pulled back.  

Solas noticed the movement but didn’t comment on it, his expression still a little sad. He instead started walking towards our horses, and I followed.

We said our goodbyes to Keeper Merriva, who was just getting up for the day (and was slightly hungover). She gave us a little wave, and we stalked off into the forest. _Bye, Clan Nelaron!_ It was... well, nice until some emo god ruined it.

I followed Solas and his horse through the trees, remaining silent all the while. His sense of direction must be loads better than mine because I had no idea which way to go, and yet he walked the forest as if it was his home. _Was_ it ever his home? The thought intrigued me, but I didn’t ask him. _Whatever_.

We eventually reached the end of the woods, and Solas deftly mounted his horse. I hopped upon mine, and we were off, galloping our way through the Dales.

Solas didn’t ride as quickly as he had in the previous days, and I wondered if he thought we were no longer being searched for. But, yet again, I did not ask. _What did it matter, anyway?_

We both rode in silence, passing hills and animals and _ooooh!_ Old ruin. I glanced at Solas, but he didn’t seem interested. We continued on, eventually riding near a forest. I saw a little nug run out of the trees before disappearing again. I thought of hitting Solas and shouting _Slug Nug!_ but I knew the it wouldn’t make sense to that hobo.

The sun was setting, and our silence was starting to get to me. Was it just going to be like this the entire journey? _No_. I couldn’t take it anymore. “Are you just going to ignore me the whole way?” I asked, looking at his profile from my mare.

“I am not ignoring you,” he answered, keeping his gaze ahead of him.

I sighed. “Then why aren’t you talking to me?” I asked him, aggravated.

Solas still didn’t look at me. “I have nothing to say.”

“ _Right_ ,” I said, especially annoyed now. “Well, then maybe _I_ could tell you some stories. To pass the time...” I suggested.

He didn’t say anything. If I could reach far enough, I would have flicked one of his stupid pointy ears, but I sighed instead.

Solas always told me (and the Inquisitor, for that matter) such beautiful stories, so I doubted I could think of anything as interesting. I considered talking about a random fantasy or sci-fi movie or something, but I didn’t feel like lying. Solas was hurting, I could tell, and I knew how hard I was making it for him. He was feeling conflicted, which really was what I _wanted_ him to feel, and yet... if he never completed his mission, would he ever even be happy anyway? Wouldn’t he just have that constant “ _what if”_ plaguing his mind?

I took a deep breath, trying not to think about it, and instead focusing on remembering a story to tell.

“When I was little, I used to collect snail shells,” I began. “I’m not sure if there are snails in Thedas, but they’re basically little slugs that wear shells on their backs,” I explained.

Solas held his gaze forward, but it seemed like he was listening.

I continued. “I actually think they’re pretty disgusting, but when I was little, I loved those little shells.” I stared into the grassland we were riding through. “The snails would die, or maybe abandon them, I’m not sure, and if I walked around gardens, I could always find an empty shell or two.” I glanced at Solas again, but he still wasn’t looking at me. “So I collected these little snail homes, keeping them in a box and carrying it everywhere with me.”

I sighed, recalling the memory. “Some of my friends thought I was gross for keeping them, since snails were considered ‘icky’ and whatnot, but I didn’t care. I loved examining the little patterns of the shells, and feeling the swirling curves of their ridges. They were precious, like little memories of tiny lives, even if I didn’t really like their previous inhabitants.”

A wild halla ran by the two of us, and I watched it leap away for a moment before continuing. “And I did this for a while, I’m not sure how long. I’d carry the box with me everywhere, to the park or to school. And then one day, I felt determined to show my classmates my collection, so I brought it out, laying each shell on the ground in little rows.” I exhaled slowly, and looked out at the Dales landscape. I didn’t speak for several minutes, stopping my tale. _There’s no point to this story, anyway_.

“What did they do?” Solas asked quietly. “When you showed them your collection?”

I glanced at him, but his eyes were still forward. I looked down at my horse’s mane, playing with a few strands of her hair. “No one ever really got to see it. This kid came by and stepped on them all, and they instantly cracked into a million pieces.”

“All your work collecting them...” he remarked sympathetically. “That is unfortunate, _da’len_.”

“Yeah, it sucked.” I shrugged. “But I just started over, collecting them again.” I looked at Solas, who still wasn’t looking back, but I saw the corner of his mouth curl up ever so slightly. “It ended up being good that they were destroyed, anyway, because I started searching for shells in new places, and my collection became a lot more diverse. More colors and different patterns and such.”

The story was finished, but Solas didn’t say anything else, so I spoke again first. “Can I ask you a question?”

He still didn’t respond.

“What do you think the pantheon will do once they’re free?” I asked, trying to keep my tone as unobtrusive as possible.

Solas remained silent for a few minutes before finally saying, “They will find a new home for the People. One where elves can rebuild again.”

I nodded, his answer as I had expected. “But they’re going to kill you first?” There was tinge of apprehension in my voice.

He was quiet.

“What makes you think they will make the world better?” I questioned. “The gods were horrible people anyway, weren’t they?”

“Only they can unite the People,” Solas said with a quiet calm. “The pantheon is still worshipped by elves, so they will be followed.”

I took a breath. “I know I said I wouldn’t try to stop you anymore, but I’m just going to say what I think, so that you know,” I clarified. “I don’t think the pantheon deserves a second chance. I don’t think they deserve your sacrifice.”

“You think too highly of me, _da’len_ ,” he replied softly. “But it is for the People, not my _lethallin_.”

I took a deep breath, feeling even sadder from his response. Solas finally turned his gaze to me, possibly looking even more depressed. “Why did you have to follow me, _da’len_?” he asked in a low voice.

His question wasn’t all that surprising, but it still hurt me to hear him say it. “Don’t say that, _hahren..._  I won’t mention it again, I promise,” I said quietly.

He looked forward again, not saying anything.  _Shit_.

Everything I did was just making it worse.  _He might never talk to me again._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, and that "Slug Nug" thing was a reference to [Slug Bug](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Punch_buggy), that game where you punch someone when you see a Volkswagen Beetle. *shrugs* I don't even know anymore.


	54. Cursed

“We can stop here for the night,” Solas said after a while, ignoring my earlier promise earlier. He gracefully dismounted, landing on the ground silently. I supposed I  _did_ deserve a cold shoulder, what with promising not to convince him to quit his mission anymore... and then breaking that promise within a day... only to promise not to do it again immediately after.... _Geez, I'm such a pain._

I got off my own horse in a ( _lot_ ) more clumsy fashion, hitting the ground with a loud  _thud_. He walked ahead of me, leading his horse silently.

Solas led us to a ruin this time, and it was probably the creepiest place we were to sleep in yet. The exterior looked overgrown with vines and moss, covering crumbling stones. It led underground, and inside it was completely black from darkness.

 _Seriously, Solas???_  I thought nervously. “Um... where are we?” I asked him anxiously.

He finally looked back to me then, his figure now covered in shadow. “It is a cursed place,” he said in low voice, then continued on.  _WHAT THE FUCK?!_

I stopped walking, standing with my mare at the entrance. “Cursed?!” I exclaimed. “Are you serious?! Why are we gonna stay here??”

Solas sighed. He had been carefully leading his mount down the steps of this ruin (tomb???), but paused to look back at me. “Do not let your superstitions overcome you,  _da’len_.”

“Superstitions?! You’re the one who said it was  _cursed_! And I’ve seen plenty of darkspawn—”  _playing the game_ , that is “—to know that ‘cursed’ is  _bad_.”  _And you’re walking_ barefoot _down there._

I heard the horse stop moving, indicating that he had made it to the bottom, but I couldn’t even make out his figure. “It is the ruins of my temple,  _da’len_ ,” he said tiredly. All I could see were his eyes faintly glimmering up at me. “This is all that remains.”

“Oh,” I said, and then I led my mare downwards.  _Hesitantly,_  though. I still could barely see. “It’s really dark in here,  _hahren_...” I whispered (I didn’t know why I was whispering but I guess it was because of how friggin’ dark and creepy this place was). Once I reached the bottom, it was completely black, and I lost all vision whatsoever. I tripped on something, but Solas’ strong arms caught me.

He steadied me, his hands on my body causing me to hold my breath. Letting me go, he cast a veilfire beside us, lighting the room dramatically. I squinted at first from the sudden burst of light, but then noticed how close Solas was to me, his face somber and sad. He watched me intensely, saying nothing, his lips in a hard line.

“No one should disturb us here,” he said quietly, and my heart stuttered from thinking perverted suggestions. He took his mount to a nearby wall, hitching her reins to a jagged stone in the wall. He spoke softly to her in Elvish, as he usually did, patting her muzzle.

I looked around, interested in seeing what the Temple of Fen’Harel was now like. It seemed like a large basement-y sort of area. The ceiling was flat, as if it had more floors, although from the outside I hadn’t seen anything above it.

The walls were made of stone, and angled lines of crystal cut through them in beautiful patterns that glinted by the firelight. I saw four Fen’Harel statues in the room, each occupying a corner and howling towards the covered sky. Besides these features, there was little else that hinted at it once being a temple.

Stone rubble was all around us, giant rocks covered in moss. The air was damp in here, and it was cold. Solas had lit the veilfire in a sort of large beacon-thing, and it stood shining in the center. He had sat down beside it now, his back resting against a large boulder. I tethered my own horse and walked towards him.

“I’m sorry about your temple,” I said, sitting down next to him.

“I have long ago accepted what has happened to it; it no longer pains me,” he said bitterly. He seemed almost angry now.

I panicked. Thoughts worriedly flew through my mind. Of him deserting me, forcing me back to Skyhold, or maybe just leaving without a word in the middle of the night... He was getting sick of me and had no reason to keep me around.  _What would I do?_

“Then I’m sorry I followed you, okay?!” I exclaimed, desperately trying to prevent his abandonment. “I’m sorry I ruined all your plans, and that I’m useless and just get you into trouble... and that... I’m...  _me_ ,” I said pathetically. I was practically in tears... no, I  _was_  in tears. They pooled in my eyes, one blink away from spilling over.

He sighed. “It is not that, Anna.” He turned to me, his eyes looking mournful. “That would never be the reason.” He gave me a small, somber smile. “You could have been happy if you remained in Skyhold. You could have lived freely, and under protection.”

“No,” I argued, shaking my head. “I would have just worried constantly about you.”

Solas leaned his head on the boulder, closing his eyes. “You would have stopped worrying eventually,” he said sadly.

 _No, I wouldn’t._  No matter what he did, it felt impossible to imagine never thinking about him, never worrying, never caring... How could he think that? I examined his face, the way his body way slouched against the rock. He looked so broken and tired, like he had lost everything. But I wouldn’t let him lose me.

I put a hand on his shoulder, rubbing him lightly and trying to comfort him. “Why would you say that? You know that’s not true. Don’t you know how much I care about you?”

“It is not in your nature to continuously worry over something,” he disputed, eyes still closed.

 _Psh, how would he know??_  “It is when it comes to you,” I told him, ceasing my rubbing and kissing him lightly on the cheek.

He opened his eyes and turned his head to me, looking absolutely miserable. “That is what pains me,  _da’len..._  You are so positive, Anna, cheerful and bright... I have stolen your light, your joy.” He exhaled, looking down at his lap. “All due to my selfishness.”

“No,” I said resolutely. “You’re what makes me happy, you’re what gives me that light.” I leaned towards him, bringing my face quite near his, but not close enough to touch. I would leave that up to him.

Solas looked up at me again, and there was a sudden tension between us, making the air thick and electric. My heart was beating quick and loud, and I wondered if he could hear it.

His eyes slowly trailed down my face to my lips before returning back to my eyes. “Tomorrow,” he said, his voice sounding slightly deeper than usual, “I will meet Mythal.”

“So soon?” I said under my breath, fear suddenly clouding my mind.

“I have already summoned her,” he quietly declared. His eyes were dark, wanting, but he turned his head away from mine.

“And you’re going to kill her?” I asked, anxious.

“No,  _da’len_ , not kill... merely transfer,” he said tiredly, standing up. He walked towards the entrance and started drawing runes in the stone floor, not saying anything else. When he finished, he took the two bedrolls we kept hitched to our horses and came back, handing one to me. I stood up, taking the roll and laying it out as he did the same. We laid down beside each other.

“Are you going to change when you do the...  _transfer_?” I asked, turning to him.  _Such a weird concept_.

He looked at me. His expression was calm, but tired. “I shall absorb Mythal’s essence, and power,” he replied ambiguously.

“But will that make you different?”

“Essentially, yes.” He turned his gaze to the ceiling. “But I cannot say how it will affect my mind.”

I reached out and rested my hand in his. “So... this could be it, then?”

He didn’t speak, but he curved his hand around mine, giving it a little squeeze.

I scooted closer to him, pressing my cheek to his shoulder and wrapping my other arm around his bicep. He remained completely still, but his fingers still firmly grasped mine.

“I don’t want to say goodbye yet,” I whispered.

I felt him shift and press a kiss into my hair. “ _Ar lath ma_.”

“ _Solas_ ,” I said, starting to cry now. “I love you so much.” I gripped his arm tighter, not wanting to ever let him go. He brought his other hand to my face, brushing away my tears. And somehow I fell asleep, as if by some elvhen magic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On that darkspawn reference... I dunno, to me "cursed" is kind of like tainted/blighted.


	55. Into Your Eyes

“Would you like some tea?” she asked me, holding a glass teacup with an amber liquid in her hands. She was pretty, this woman, with short pink hair cropped just below her chin. Was it a wig?

“Yes, please,” I answered, accepting the cup into my hands.

She smiled pleasantly. “You can drink it in the lounge, if you’d like,” she suggested. Her hand gestured to a staircase behind her. “We serve more tea upstairs, as well.”

I nodded and walked up the stairwell. Everything in this place was white and plastic-y looking. It seemed like some sort of hip club or lounge, and there was ambient house music playing in the background somewhere.

I made it to the top of the stairs, glancing around the area. _Swanky_. There were very modern-looking chairs scattered all around, standing like round ovals, gently curved to fit one or two people. I sat myself down in one of them, still holding my tea.

“This place is different from your other dreams, _da’len_ ,” Solas said, sitting in a chair beside me.

I blinked, the awareness of the dream now dawning on me. “I don’t even know what this place is,” I said confusedly. I looked at Solas, who had leaned back in his chair, his hands folded in his lap. “What are you doing here?” I asked, somewhat bitterly. The teacup had disappeared from my hands. _He only tells me he loves me when he leaves._

“I thought we could spend more time together,” he said calmly, “before...” He trailed off, leaving his statement unfinished.

I stood then and walked the small distance to his chair. “Before you meet Mythal?” I asked quietly, sadly.

“Yes,” he whispered, looking up at me. His blue eyes looked so miserable.

I squeezed myself into his chair, and he moved over to make room for me. The chair was like a big, squishy red egg that had been sliced in half. As I settled into it, I wrapped my arm across his torso, leaning my head on his shoulder. It was pretty cozy, and our thighs were pressed flush beside each other.

“I hope you don’t change,” I told him quietly. “What if you forget me?” I asked.

He moved an arm so it was wrapped around my back. “I find that highly unlikely, _da’len_ ,” he said softly. “I cannot imagine ever forgetting you, Anna.” He caressed my arm with his hand.

Suddenly I felt scared, even though he was trying to comfort me. I thought of the game, of how at any time I could just reload, or start a new playthrough. Solas could just forget everything at the click of a button. And the thought broke my heart.

I still didn’t know why I was here, and if any of this was real. But it _felt_ real, and it had changed my life... changed _me_. I had fallen in love with this man, and the thought of me leaving him, of him forgetting me... I didn’t want to imagine it. It hurt too much.

I tightened my arm around him and buried my face into his sleeve. “I don’t want to live without you, _hahren_. I’ll miss your stories, your jokes, your dreams... Who will I talk to? Who will I laugh with? Who will teach me, care for me, _be_ with me?” I asked him in a strained voice. “You’re my Solas, my _hahren_ , and you mean everything to me.”

“I cannot mean everything to you, _da’len_ ,” he said in a calm, low voice. “I know there is a great deal you also care for.”

“But nothing as much as you,” I cried.

He was quiet for a few moments, before perking up with a sudden enthusiasm. “Show me something you care about, Anna. Something from your world,” he requested, sounding surprisingly eager. “I want to see what you love.”

“I’m too sad to think of anything,” I whined, not feeling anything but the fear of losing him.

“Then what is this place? Why did you dream of it?” he asked.

I looked around at the lounge. “I don’t know, my brain is just weird, I guess. It dreams up random, futuristic teahouses or something.”

“A teahouse?” Solas wondered. He looked at me. “Do you like tea, Anna?”

I couldn’t help but smile a little. “Yes,” I said. “I know you don’t like it, but I like to put milk and sugar in mine. It tastes really good like that.”

He smiled. “Perhaps I would enjoy it if you made it for me, _da’len_.” He chuckled. “How did you know I do not like tea?”

I laughed. “You don’t like caffeinated things because it’s harder for you to enter the Fade,” I said, smiling. “But really, I saw you drink some and make a face.”

Solas gently grasped my cheek with his hand, smiling warmly at me. “Anna,” he said softly.

“Okay,” I said, smiling. “I think I’m ready to show you something.” I got up from the chair and pulled him up by the hand, taking him with me. I closed my eyes, thinking of the memory.

After a few seconds, I opened them and glanced around the Fade. Solas and I were now standing at the side of a pool, our bare feet touching some rough cement. I looked at Solas and laughed.

“ _Da’len_ ,” he said uncomfortably, “What...  _attire_ is this?”

I smiled. I had imagined Solas dressed as a lifeguard, and the Fade had answered beautifully. He was wearing some red swim trunks, and nothing on his chest besides a shiny, silver whistle. He looked like the palest lifeguard that ever was. “It’s for swimming in, _hahren_ ,” I explained. I nudged him with my elbow. “ _We_ don’t swim naked where I come from.”

He arched a brow, smiling a little. “Is that why you are dressed this way?”

I looked down at my body, now noticing a bright yellow bikini. I shrugged. “Yep,” I said, smiling. I grabbed his hand. “Come on, let’s go swimming!” I pulled him into the pool, and we both crashed into its surface, water splashing everywhere.

The water felt cool, just like it should have. I let go of Solas and floated on my back, looking at the blue sky above. There were white puffs of clouds floating by, like bits of cotton candy that could never be tasted.

“Why did you choose this place?” Solas asked, standing above me with his face pointed down towards mine.

I stopped floating and stood on my feet, looking around the dream. “One summer, I spent every day by this pool. My parents had bought a membership for me, so I could hang out with some friends here and go swimming. I was pretty young, about fourteen,” I said, looking at Solas now. “Even though it was just the same pool every day, this was one of the best summers of my life.”

“It was?” Solas asked curiously, encouraging me to continue.

I smiled. “Yes, because this was where I experienced my first love.” I looked around again, searching for someone. “This is where I met him.” I swam behind Solas then, placing my hands on his shoulders and pulling my head up to his level. “He’s right there,” I whispered into the elf’s ear, pointing at the boy’s location.

Solas observed who I was gesturing towards. “He is very young,” he commented.

“Well, so was I, at the time,” I said, wrapping my arms around his shoulders. Solas squatted in the water so that I wouldn’t struggle to stand at his height. “He was a lifeguard, a person in charge of keeping all the swimmers safe,” I explained. I looked at the boy, who was dressed the same as Solas. “I had the biggest crush on him,” I said, laughing a little.

“Did he return your feelings?” Solas asked.

“You know, I’m really not sure.” I examined the lifeguard, who was seated in a raised chair high above the pool. “But at the time, I didn’t think so, and I cried for weeks about it.” I kept my eyes on the boy, who sat there perfectly still, as if he were just a picture. “I had never felt that way about anyone before.”

“And this was one of the best times in your life, _da’len_?” he asked gently.

I smiled, pressing my cheek against his head. “It was the first time I ever felt that hurt by anybody, and I was so depressed over it, crying every day. But now, when I look back at that time, it just makes me smile. I really thought my world was over then... and I had no idea of how happy my future would be. The amazing things that were waiting for me.”

I continued to look at the boy, who sat there, unseeing, like a mannequin. “Sometimes, I wish I could go back in time, and talk some sense into my younger self. Tell myself that life gets better... better than I ever even dreamed, and this tough time would pass.”

“Anna,” Solas said quietly, pulling at my arms to loosen my grip so he could face me.

“And now I love this place...” I continued before he could speak, now gazing into his eyes. “I love thinking about it, remembering my first love, and the fun times I had here. The memories of falling in love.”

“Anna,” he repeated, cupping my face in his hands. “I wish...”

“I didn’t come here to show you him, though,” I said, interrupting him again. Solas was only going to say something sad, anyway. “I brought you here to have fun with you.” I smiled at him. “To play.”

Solas smiled, but he still looked sad, longing for something. “What would you like to do?” he asked in a soft voice.

I splashed him. “Show you my amazing water acrobatics,” I said, smiling.

He raised an eyebrow. “Acrobatics, _da’len_?” He grinned. “With your feet?”

I pushed him a little. “Just you watch!” I said, wading a few paces away from him. I dove into the water, planting my hands on the floor of the pool and swinging my legs above me into a handstand. I held the pose for a few moments before springing upright in the water again. “See?” I asked, wiping my wet hair away from my face with a smile.

He laughed. “I would not consider that _acrobatics_ , _da’len_ ,” he teased, “but it did require some skill, at least.”

I splashed him. “Gee, _thanks_ ,” I huffed, crossing my arms.

He smiled and pulled me closer to him by tugging one of my arms. “You need not prove anything to me, _da’len_ ,” he said, still smiling. “I am already impressed by all that you are.” He pulled me to his chest and folded me into his arms. “ _Ma_ Anna,” he whispered.

I wrapped my own arms around his back, hugging him gently. “I think you’re amazing, _hahren_ ,” I told him quietly. “You work so hard to make up for your past, even risking your life doing so.” I rested my cheek against his collarbone. “I just wish the whole world knew how important you are.”

“Why would you wish that, _da’len_?” he asked. His fingers pressed little patterns lightly into my back.

“Because if they all knew you, the way I know you, then you wouldn’t have to work alone, and you wouldn’t need to die. The Inquisition would help, the elves would listen. You could be the one to rebuild Elvhenan, and they would listen, they would follow.”

“Always so optimistic, _ma_ _da’len_.”

“Maybe,” I conceded. “But I can’t imagine anyone getting to know you without loving you, and believing in you.”

Solas pulled away, placing his hands on my arms. “Anna,” he said sadly. “I do not deserve your kind words.”

I shook my head. “Of course you do, _hahren_ ,” I said with a smile. “Anyway, come on. There’s more I want to show you.” I took his hand, and pulled him along, wading my way out of the pool.

The two of us walked hand in hand away from the swimming pool, until we came to a little park nearby. I led us to a swing set. “Have you ever tried a swing before, _hahren_?” I asked, smiling up at him. “It almost feels like flying.” I sat down on a swing, preparing to show him, but he stood in front of me, blocking the way.

“Anna,” he said, squatting down to my seated height. “I will not let you die, not from simply following me.” He took my hand, caressing it in his. “Do you know where I am to meet Mythal?” he asked.

I nodded. “The Crossroads.”

He nodded in confirmation. “I want you to take Morrigan’s eluvian back to Skyhold. I will show you the way, so when the time comes, you may escape through it.” He pressed his forehead against mine, closing his eyes. “Please, _da’len_. Please do this for me,” he pleaded.

“Okay,” I agreed quietly.

He enfolded me into his arms again, and I woke up. The dream was over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a dream about a futuristic teahouse and then I wrote this O_O lolll
> 
> Does anyone know that song ["Touched" by VAST](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=160mRmA8eFo)? The title of this chapter was inspired by the lyrics of that song. I wouldn't actually listen to it while reading this though cuz it totally doesn't fit the mood ahahaha
> 
> But the [lyrics](http://www.metrolyrics.com/touched-lyrics-vast.html) fit, imo:
> 
> _I looked into your eyes and saw_  
>  _A world that does not exist_  
>  _I looked into your eyes_  
>  _And saw a world I wish I was in_
> 
> I mean, the song even talks about demigods O_o


	56. The Slow Arrow

There was something soft against my cheek, and when I opened my eyes, I realized it was Solas’ wolf pelt. His arms were around me, and it felt comforting, reassuring. But only somewhat.

“We should be going, _da’len_ ,” Solas said gently.

I didn’t budge an inch, and only buried my face deeper into the pelt. Its fur tickled my nose, but I still didn’t move. “I don’t want to,” I whispered.

“I know,” he said, “but it is time.”

“Just a little longer, please,” I asked, clinging to him for dear life.

He remained still, giving me some respite. “I wish I could see your world, Anna,” he said after a few moments. “At least once.”

“Me too,” I replied quietly. I combed my fingers through the fur of his pelt. _Solas in my world..._  “I wonder if you’d freak out,” I said, laughing a little.

Solas snorted. “I’d hardly think so.”

I smiled and looked up at him. “You’d be like, ‘Even in my deepest journeys in the Fade, I have not seen such wonders, _da’len_ ,’ or something like that.”

He raised an eyebrow. “I am curious to what wonders you deem able to astonish me, _da’len_ ,” he said, looking down at me.

I smiled. “Oh, there'd be all sorts of things, _hahren_... but...” I frowned. “I rather not think about it...” _Since it will never happen_.

“I understand,” he said quietly, and his eyes were giving me this intense gaze. I realized then that the space between us felt _very_ small. His arms were still around me, but one started to move, sliding down my back until his hand rested on my waist. _Ehh??_

I quirked an eyebrow and smiled deviously at him. I then moved my own hand down to his, pushing his fingers down to my bum. _Ohhhh yes_.

“Da'len,” he warned, but he didn't move. He _liked_ it.

I inched a bit closer to his face, bringing my lips dangerously close to his mouth and gazing into his eyes from underneath my eyelashes. I could feel his breath on my skin start to quicken. _Please kiss me. Please._

He still wasn't moving. Not rejecting, nor accepting. I hitched my leg over his, just to make it even more obvious, to tease him even more. I moved my hand to his jaw, stroking the curve of it with a finger. _So nice_.

Our faces were so close that the tips of our noses bumped, and I couldn’t help it any longer. I gave him a quick peck on the lips, just touching his mouth for a millisecond before breaking away. I didn’t even close my eyes, keeping them trained on his blue ones.

Solas’ eyes widened a little from the kiss, but I knew he wasn’t angry, or even surprised. Just strained... reluctant. His grasp tightened on my backside for a second, before he moved his hand to my arm and used it to roll me flat on the ground.

I was on my back now, and he was leaning over me, still gazing into my eyes and looking quite desirable. His face was farther from me now, but I could tell he was taking deeper breaths by the way his chest moved back and forth, expanding and compressing.

He broke eye contact to look downwards, towards my lips, and he brought his thumb to them, brushing over from one corner to the other. I kissed the pad of his finger as he moved along, and he stopped, pulling his finger away and slightly catching it on my lower lip. Solas moved his hand to the ground then and edged closer to me, bringing his face to mine. I closed my eyes and waited, my lips parting a little to accept his. _Yes_.

But he didn’t kiss me, and I felt a light gust of air on my skin as he quickly pushed himself away. My eyes flew open panickedly and saw that he was now sitting upright with his back to me. “ _Solas_ ,” I pleaded quietly.

“We need to leave,” he said in a hoarse voice. He didn’t look at me.

I exhaled loudly in frustration, but didn’t argue. He obviously believed it was the wrong thing to do, and I was getting a _little_ tired of the constant rejection.

I watched as he stood up and walked towards the horses. After a moment, I did the same. Solas flicked away the wards with his hand, and we led our mounts out of his decaying temple. _Today’s the day_. The final cutscene. The end of my game knowledge.

We both mounted our horses, and Solas guided us through the Dales, not saying anything more. A few hours into the day (with the two of us still remaining silent), I started to feel pretty hungry. So when a rabbit came hopping into view, I shouted to Solas, “Hold on, I’m gonna stop!” I dismounted before even waiting for his response, but he slowed down.

“Are you alright, _da’len_?” he asked me. I gestured for him to be quiet, pointing to the rabbit in my view. _I’m gonna do it_ , I thought. _I’m gonna friggin’ do it_.

I pulled my bow from my back, loading it with an arrow. Solas dismounted then, crossing his arms and observing my next move with intrigue.

I tried to remember all the archery tips I had received, from him, from Sera, from Cullen, from Varric. I drew the bow, and let the arrow fly. It hit the rabbit, killing it instantly. _Fuck yeah!_

I turned back to Solas, smiling and bouncing up and down from excitement. “I did it!!” I said delightedly.

He smiled at me then. A smile so bright it made my heart pound. He was _proud_ of me, I could tell. “An excellent shot, _da’len_ ,” he complimented, beaming.

I felt like I was over the moon. I ran towards him (he wasn’t very far), throwing my arms around him in an embrace. “Thank you, _hahren_ ,” I said into his tunic.

He did not return my hug, though, remaining stiff and unmoving, and then I realized that he would probably keep his distance from me for the rest of our (short?) journey. It hurt to think that, but there wasn’t much I could do.

“You should collect your prize, Anna,” he gently suggested, still standing like a pole.

I sighed and let him go, walking towards my future-meal. I picked it up, holding it boastingly in the air. At least I was a warrior. “Can you cook it for me, Solas?” I asked, glancing his way.

“ _If_ you are willing to share it,” he said, giving me a small smile.

I tried to smile back, but I doubted it looked genuine. “Always,” I replied softly, handing it over.

We were soon sitting and eating that poor bunny in silence, and I started to wonder if we actually _did_ feel the same about each other. Was his _ar lath ma_ the same level as mine, the same intensity and depth? What did that phrase even mean to Solas? It’s not like he called me _vhenan_. I was just _da’len_ , which literally meant “little child.” I frowned, stopping chewing for a moment. _Maybe I’m just a stupid kid he always has to keep in line.._. Like, _no, no, da’len, you must not molest me._

Solas seemed to sense my melancholy, and asked, “Is it overcooked, _da’len_?” _You know you did it perfectly, ass-wolf._

And there was the word again. _Da’len_. I wanted to ask him, but it felt too embarrassing to do so. There were only two answers, right? I was a little child to him, or I wasn’t, and he just used the phrase out of habit or something.

I shook my head to clear my thoughts, as well as answer his question. It didn’t matter anyway, it was all going to be over soon. _O-v-e-r, over_. Game over.

The thought made me briefly wonder if anyone was watching me while _they_ played _DA:I_. What if _I_ was actually a part of this game now? What if I was some new NPC?

I glanced around our surroundings, observing a nearby forest. “Are we close, _hahren_?” I asked, staring at the trees.

“Yes,” he answered. “That forest marks the border of the Arbor Wilds. We should reach the eluvian by midday.”

“Why did we come all the way here for this eluvian? Surely there must be closer ones?” I asked him.

He gave me a tight-lipped smile. “Most of the eluvians have been broken or destroyed, _da’len_ , and this was one of the few I knew to still function.”

I nodded, still looking at the forest. “Sucks,” I replied, somewhat impassively.

He didn’t respond, and I hoped I hadn’t offended him. But I was feeling sad and, to be perfectly honest, _lonely_. I didn’t feel like being pleasant.

The both of us soon finished eating, and we mounted our mares again, riding off into the forest. The further we rode into the wood, however, the closer the trees became, and we eventually need to travel by foot, leading our horses by the hand. The area was beautiful and green here, humming with jungle life.

After about an hour, we came to a clearing, where a humongous eluvian stood. Sunlight streamed through the trees, reflecting off its surface, and it glimmered softly as the leaves of the trees moved to and fro.

We tied our horses’ reins to a nearby tree, and I walked to the front of the mirror, standing just before it. I observed its height, craning my neck until my chin stuck straight upwards. _Why is it so big?_ Surely they only needed to be a few feet taller than an elf? It seemed like this one could fit a giant.

“Why are eluvians so tall, _hahren_?” I asked Solas, still examining the mirror.

He came to my side and answered, “The People used them to travel all throughout Elvhenan, sometimes bringing all of their belongings: ships, carriages, and other large objects; this required a greater size of entrance.”

“Ah,” I said, nodding my head and looking at him. “I see.”

“I will unlock it now,” he declared, taking a step towards the mirror. He moved his hand in an arch before him, and I saw a blue magic pour out of it. It floated towards the eluvian’s surface, bringing the portal to life.

“You didn’t need a passcode?” I asked him without thinking.

He turned his attention back towards me, raising an eyebrow. “Not all eluvians are opened the same way, _da’len_. Some have spoken passcodes, while others can simply be opened by forceful spells.”

“So you basically just lock-picked this mirror?” I accused, arching my own brow.

He smiled and took my hand. “Let us hurry, _da’len_ ,” he said, and he pulled me with him through the eluvian.

We entered the Crossroads. It was now my third time here, and it looked _different_. More alive, somehow. The sun was shining in here and most of the mist was gone. There were plants everywhere, and it was even _warm_. Solas must know all the best Crossroads’ hangouts.

He was still holding my hand as he quickly strode through the paths here, zigzagging between mirrors. His hand felt warm, and it was comforting to feel his touch. I squeezed his hand, and he squeezed back, making our grasp even tighter.

“Morrigan’s eluvian,” Solas said, stopping suddenly in front of a mirror. He turned to me. “I will light a path for you to follow.”

 _Light a path?_ The statement confused me, but he started pulling me along again before I could ask. Using his free hand, he lit the tiles of a walkway, a bright illumination flowing from his fingertips. Each stone remained a glowing blue, an easy guide to follow.

He didn’t step as quickly as before, perhaps due to the magic he was casting. At this pace, it was easy to walk beside him. I matched his gait, and he let go of my hand to put an arm around me instead, sliding it underneath my quiver and bow to hold the small of my back. It was nice, walking like this, and I leaned my head against his arm.

“Mythal is already here,” he said quietly. “I can sense her presence, and she has sensed mine as well.”

“Does she know about me?” I wondered.

“Yes,” he answered, continuing to light the road. “I spoke to her of you in the Fade.”

“What did you tell her?”

He smiled. “I explained that you know my identity and had followed me to help the People.”

“Did she believe you?” I asked skeptically.

He laughed. “We are old friends, _da’len_ ,” he replied, and he looked at me, still smiling. “She knows when I speak the truth.”

We took a few more steps, and he paused. “Her location is very near now,” he said.

“What do you want me to do?” I asked, suddenly feeling very tired, and scared. _Everything is happening so fast_.

“I want you to stay, for as long as you feel safe,” he answered quietly. “If ever you feel threatened, then follow this path and return to Skyhold.” He gestured to the illuminated stones.

I nodded, and we continued on, walking a bit further until Flemeth came into view. She stood in front of a giant eluvian, with huge Fen’Harel and Mythal statues guarding its sides. There were those elven spherical trees all over the area, too, as well as just regular-looking trees. _How did life grow here? Was this the same sun as the one in Thedas?_

“I knew you would come,” Flemythal said, turning around to us. “The both of you,” she added, pointedly eyeing me. “You should not have given your orb to Corypheus, Dread Wolf,” she scolded.

“Yeah, why _did_ you give it to him?” I asked (quite bluntly). I looked at him expectantly.

Solas sighed. “I was too weak to unlock it after my slumber, and he was far more powerful than myself at the time,” he replied bitterly. “I was convinced he would perish in the orb’s awakening. It was a foolish oversight.” He let me go then, approaching Mythal slowly with a regretful hunch in his posture.

But the situation still confounded me. “What do you mean by unlock it? And why can anybody just use an elven orb? Shouldn’t they need to be a part of the Elven Pantheon or something??” I asked confusedly.

Flemeth and Solas both looked at me, eyebrows in the air.

I continued my questioning. “And why did the Inquisitor get the anchor by simply touching it? Wouldn’t Corypheus had gotten it first, then? Lavellan came in when Justinia was still alive, so obviously the sacrifice wasn’t complete, so was it already unlocked? And if it was _your_ orb, Solas, why can just anyone get the anchor? Wouldn’t _you_ just have the anchor naturally? What is the _point_ of these foci?!” I took some deep breaths, finishing my question-rant.

The two gods looked back at each other, having some sort of silent communication about what they should do about me. “Anna,” Solas said, turning his gaze towards me again. “The orb is like a mage’s staff, it channels the power of its wielder. Just as some staffs are enchanted with particular abilities, my orb has control over the Veil.”

“And anyone can use it, even though it’s yours?”

“Yes, although the user affects the outcome,” he explained calmly. “The orb was quite unstable from Corypheus unlocking it, and its power surged in uncontrollable bursts. The Inquisitor simply touched it during one of its discharges.”

I nodded, slowly digesting his words. _I guess that makes sense....?_

“You have many questions, child,” Flemeth said to me curiously. “Why have you followed Fen’Harel?”

 _Heh_. “Because I want to help elves, too,” I quickly stammered, blushing a little. “Although, I don’t think he needs to die to help them,” I added quietly. My eyes met with Solas’, and he reached for my hand, taking it in his.

Flemeth arched a brow. “Die?” she asked.

“The failure was mine. I should pay the price,” the Dread Wolf said sadly, clasping my hand.

Mythal nodded. “I am sorry, old friend,” she said, taking a few steps near Solas.

He let go of me and turned fully towards her, closing the distance between them. “Forgive me,” he said quietly, touching his forehead to hers. _I remember this pose..._

“Wait!” I exclaimed, bringing their attention back to me. They both turned their heads in my direction. “Are you doing the transfer or whatever _already_?!”

“ _Da’len_ ,” Solas pleaded tiredly. “There is no reason to delay it.”

Flemeth observed me intriguingly, a small smile on her lips. “You do not need to worry,” she said soothingly. “We have both agreed to this exchange.”

“Are you sure?” I asked, still disbelieving. I put a hand up to my mouth, blocking Solas’ view of my lips. “ _He can be really manipulative sometimes_ ,” I whispered, gesturing my head towards the hobo.

Flemythal laughed, shaking her head a bit. She turned her gaze back to Solas. “How fortunate that she found you, Fen’Harel,” she said, highly amused.

“Indeed. Quite serendipitous,” the wolf answered quietly, still looking at me. He gave me a little smile before turning his attention to Mythal again.

“I am ready, Dread Wolf,” she stated decidedly, holding her chin high, her expression completely serious now.

Solas nodded, and his face started to glow with an eerie green. A magic surrounded the two, and Mythal suddenly cried out, falling into Fen’Harel’s arms. She became still as stone, completely drained of color, and Solas slowly lowered her to the ground. As he set her down, her body evaporated into little specks of blue magic, flying away until they disappeared into nothingness. He looked back up at me, eyes glowing with a smoky blue-violet power.

I took a step back. It had all happened so fast, and he looked _really_ freaky. “ _Hahren?_ ” I called. “ _How_ do you _feel_?” I asked, imitating Solas when asking the Inquisitor (if she had drank from the Well).

Solas didn’t answer, but only stood up and walked towards me, a magical aura lightly trailing behind. He examined me curiously, eyes still blazing magically bright. _Did he even recognize me?_

“Solas?” I asked, and when he said nothing, I continued, “Mythal? Flemeth?” Still no response. “Fen’Harel? Dread Wolf? Pride?!” I took a few more steps back, but his pace was much quicker than mine, and he soon was standing just before me. It was too late to run to Skyhold now.

And then he smiled, looking extra scary with his glow-y eyes. He reached out with both his hands, placing them on each side of my face, fiery gaze burning into mine. He started pulling me towards him...

 _What is happening? What is HAPPENING?! WHAT IS HAPPENING?!?!_ I thought, panicked. It felt like time was moving in slow-mo. He was inching closer and closer to me. His eyes were menacing, they seemed unseeing. Was he going to kill me? Absorb _my_ power now? _But I don’t have any power!!_ What had Mythal done to him? _I’m going to fucking die right now._

But suddenly his lips met mine in a kiss.

And I felt the whole world change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did anyone ever play that game Eternal Darkness from forever ago? The "What is happening?!" that Anna shouts is a reference to that XD "THIS ISN'T HAPPENING!!!!"
> 
> And okay, I'm sorry to always impose music on you people (do not feel obligated at all to listen!), but ["We Belong" by RAC (Odesza Remix)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_S-4QXSnAx0) always makes me think of the Crossroads for some reason... It just has that other-worldly vibe, so I listened to it a lot while writing this.


	57. At Last

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've written the [end of the previous chapter](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3815605) from Solas' point of view, which I _highly_ recommend reading, either before or after reading this chapter (it doesn't really matter, imo). Enjoy :D

I was excited and worried and scared and aroused and confused and happy all at the same time. Was this even Solas? Who was kissing me right now?!

But what my mind warned against, my body and heart had _so_ long desired. His hands were still holding my face, cradling my head like precious cargo. It wasn’t a very _chaste_ kiss either, as his lips moved hungrily— _expertly_ —caressing and sucking on mine.  

I had closed my eyes instinctually, overcome by the feeling of his touch. His tongue played with mine, dancing and intertwining, and my body involuntarily arched into his, pressing and grabbing for more. _Oh, gods_. Why was he this good at kissing?!?!

He pulled away eventually, and I was left breathless and hot and _wanting_ , but also bewildered. I looked up at him and saw the face of my _hahren_ , his eyes had returned to normal (although somewhat brighter?) and his skin was flushed vividly. He was smiling, and his gaze was filled with warmth and love. I could have just died from the look, it filled me with so much joy.

_But who was he?_ What had Mythal done to him?

“Anna,” he said, and my heart leapt at his recognition of me. I mean, maybe he had just kissed the first person he saw without caring who it was, _I dunno okay_?!

He slowly caressed my face between his palms, eyes searching mine, and his smile growing bigger. He started speaking, but it was all in Elvish, ancient words I had no understanding of. I didn’t respond, just continued to blink in disbelief of the situation. He was definitely _different_.

After a few moments, it seemed like he realized I couldn’t understand, and he said softly, “I have not felt as much myself in several millennia.” _Geez, he was old._ He kissed me again briefly on the mouth. “ _Ar lath ma_.”

He pulled me into his arms then, surrounding me in a strong embrace, and I was so overcome by bliss I nearly cried. _This is the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me!!!_ And I lived in a friggin’ video game. A _video game_.

Sure, I had a couple doubts. I mean, I _had_ just witnessed him suck the life out of Flemeth, which was super creepy and weird. Like, WTF, hobo? Was it a really a transfer?? She looked pretty  _dead_ to me!

But he seemed like Solas. And whatever part of him was still _him_ , it loved me. _He_ loved me. And _not_ in the friend-zoned way.

He released me and looked at me again, still holding my arms. His expression was impossibly happy (for Solas, that is).

“What happened?” I finally asked him.

He laughed a little. “I have regained my power, Anna. Mythal gave me her essence, restoring me to my former strength. And more.” He looked at the eluvian, not saying anything else.

“Okay... but....” I started slowly, “why did you kiss me?” _We can talk about the other stuff later._

He turned his gaze back to me, smiling again. “Let us sit,” he said, gesturing to the stone steps of the mirror. We sat down beside each other, and he took a hold of my hand. “Have I caused you discomfort?” he asked, lightly caressing my hand.

I smiled. “Uh, no, not exactly...” I laughed awkwardly. “Kinda the opposite, actually.”

He smiled, touching his other hand to my face. “I have cared for you for some time, Anna,” he said, brushing my cheek. He dropped his hand and held mine with both of his. “But there were certain... obstacles.” He looked towards the mirror again. “There still are. I will die soon, Anna, and this will undoubtedly cause you pain.”

He returned his gaze to me. His words were sad, yet, his eyes were still so alight, happy. “But Mythal has seen my memories now, and she spoke to me, advised me. She told me I should not deny myself from you; that events would... resolve.” He laughed a little. “I believed her.”

I examined his face, the one I knew so well, but now had become so changed so quickly. “So Mythal just talks to you? In your head?” I asked.

“Yes,” he answered. “She is a part of my being now.” He smiled. “But only a part,” he added. “I am still Fen’Harel.”

“Should I stop calling you Solas?” He was starting to feel foreign to me.

He put a hand to my cheek and kissed me again, tenderly. “You may call me whatever you wish.” He wrapped me in his arms again. “ _Ma_ Anna,” he whispered, “I am so sorry.”

“What?? Why?!” I asked him, suddenly alarmed.

He broke away. “Tomorrow, I will release the pantheon.” He looked at the eluvian again. “Tomorrow, I will die.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter's a bit short, but hopefully the [Solas POV](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3815605) will make up for it :)


	58. Wolf Ride

“You’re going to die...  _tomorrow_?” I cried. So soon? _Whyyyyy?!_

“Yes,” he said, gazing at me tenderly. “The longer it is delayed, the harder it will become for me to complete my mission.”

“Are you sure? Are you _really_ sure?” I asked him, highly skeptical and... well, _horrified_. “Because I don’t see it! I really don’t see how it would be harder!!”

Solas laughed, as if my statement was silly, like a joke. _Are you high?!?!_

“I want to show you something,” he said instead, with a mischievous grin. He stood up, offering a hand to me. I blinked at him in disbelief, not sure what to make of this situation. _I guess I’ve always known he was planning on dying..._  His sudden affection had me feeling otherwise, though, like he had changed his mind. _Sigh._ I just needed to accept it.

Once I got to my feet, he backed a few paces away. With one more devious grin, he leapt forward, disappearing into a puff of magical smoke and landing on four paws. A white wolf now stood before me, six blue eyes blinking simultaneously at my shocked expression. _Okay,_ so _not what I was expecting._

He was enormous, too, for a wolf, about the same height as me as he stood there. I was dumbstruck for a moment, the shapeshift feeling a _little_ disconcerting. But after a few moments, I gingerly reached out a hand towards him. He willingly met it, bowing his head slightly so I could pet him. _Good boy_.

But soon he was nudging me with his snout, pushing me towards the side of him. “What do you want me to do?” I asked him. He didn’t speak (I didn’t think he could in this form), but only continued to push me until I was at his flank. Then he nudged at my leg. “Wait...” I said, finally understanding, “Do you want me to _hop on_??”

He huffed in what seemed like affirmation, and so I swung my leg over his back like I would a horse. _This day could not get any weirder_.

He started walking then, slowly, and I adjusted myself to the movement, weaving my fingers into his white fur for a better grip. His pace steadily quickened, and soon he was running at a ferocious speed, with me hanging on for dear life. “I think this is more fun for you than for me!” I shouted atop his back, and he only seemed to move faster from the comment, bounding jovially through the Crossroads.

Eventually we made it back to the mirror we had come through, and as he was speeding towards it, I realized he meant to actually go _through_ it. "Uh, Wolf-Solas, you know that eluvian is closed right now, right??" I asked, nervously frightened.

But he ignored me and continued in its direction, and when we were only a few feet away, he opened the portal with a simple gesture of his snout. _Ohhhh._

We entered the Arbor Wilds again, and he continued his running, dashing past our horses. “Hey, shouldn’t we untie them?” I asked, bending my head to one of his ears. He halted a moment, his paws skidding into the dirt and causing me to nearly _fall off_. He considered the proposition, and with a flick of his nose again, their reins melted away. _Nice_.

Solas continued on, but he slowed his gait considerably. We arrived in a clearing, a meadow of sorts, and suddenly he jumped, with me (yelping) still on him, and mid-leap he quickly spun his body around so that his four paws were upwards in the air, facing me. During the decline (which I swear was in slow motion or something), he poofed again and with a thud we landed, with me now straddling the regular elf-Solas.

He looked positively delighted with himself, his grin spreading from ear to pointy ear. “You’re crazy, Fen,” I told him, my hands pinning his shoulders.

He laughed. “ _I_ was not the one who willingly mounted a wolf’s back,” he smirked at me. “That has to warrant some level of madness.”

I touched his face tenderly, brushing my fingers across his cheek. “That’s because I trust the one I love,” I told him quietly.

He smiled, gazing into my eyes. " _Vhenan_ ," he whispered, and the word hung in the air between us.

 _Vhenan_. He called me _vhenan_. I continued to stare at him in disbelief, not really convinced the endearment was for me.

Solas became confused as I gawked at him like that, still silent. His eyes moved worriedly around my face, trying to gauge some sort of response, an answer. His smile turned to an anxious frown.

And I smiled then, and kissed him on the lips. _Vhenan_. I was his _vhenan_.

His arms pulled me towards him, until I was lying flush against his chest. He had me drawn so close and tight to his body, like he was afraid I would disappear.

His hand grasped at my back, the other tangling up into my hair and cupping my head. It was so nice to kiss him. His mouth moved so passionately, so lovingly that it was nearly impossible not to get lost in it all. But, there was still the constant pulling of fear in my mind, the fear of losing him forever.

He seemed to let out a magical aura that I could sense around him now, too. Whether it was the new gain in power, him letting it go due to not caring, or just me being this connected to him, I wasn’t sure. But I could feel it caressing my skin, and it was warm and alluring, making me hungry for more.

“ _Solas_ ,” I moaned into his lips. He smiled and moved to kissing my jaw, my neck... I noticed he was starting to pull at the ties of my hunter coat.

“How I have _longed_ for you, Anna,” he groaned into my skin. “I apologize for my selfishness, but I must have you for my final night.” He nearly had my whole coat undone. _How was he this fast???_ There must have been like fifty knots and buckles on my jacket.

“You’re extremely selfish,” I breathed. “Giving me all this just to take it away tomorrow.” Saying it out loud suddenly made it all the more real. I immediately felt angry. Angry that he was choosing to leave me, walking readily to his death. I broke away from him, lurching my body off of his to lie on the grass instead.

“Anna,” Solas said, slightly alarmed from the change. He turned his body towards mine, propping himself up on an elbow. Placing a hand on my waist, he gently pulled me back towards him.

“Are you seriously just gonna _die_ tomorrow?” I asked him, closing my eyes and trying to ignore the desire to keep touching him.

“Yes,” he answered. His hand caressed my face, and I opened my eyes. “You must accept this, Anna. You have known for a long time what my plans are.” He tenderly brushed some hair away from my forehead.

I looked up at him. “I don’t want you to die,” I said quietly.

“And I do not want you to feel pain,” he replied, “but they are both inevitable.”

I covered my face with my hands, breathing slowly. “This is so fucked up.”

Solas peeled my hands away, staring into my eyes intently. “ _Ar lath ma_ , Anna,” he said softly. “Let us enjoy this small time together.”

“ _Ar lath ma_ , too,” I laughed lightly, bittersweetly. “Or whatever.” I reached a hand up to his ear, lightly tracing its tip. He remained still, eyes shifting slowly around my face. I touched his cheek with my other hand, and soon started feeling all the features of his face, trying to memorize them as best I could. _This probably will be my last chance_.

He watched me do this for a time, but soon leaned in to kiss me softly on the lips. It was so sweet and tender, and I tried to forget about what would come tomorrow, focusing only on the feeling of his touch.

Soon our lips became more eager, and Solas resumed his task of removing my clothing. He pulled off my hunter coat, which I let him, consumed by my tongue playing with his. Next he was tugging at my top, and I started pulling at his, which he helped me with, luckily, because there were _way_ too many layers on him. When his final shirt was removed (there had to be like _twenty_ ), I trailed my hands down the muscles of his torso, reveling in the feeling of his skin. Gods, he was so _hot_ for an ancient.

He laughed, probably at whatever perverted expression I was making, and I giggled as he kissed my collarbone. And we continued to kiss as he laid us both down again, our topless upper bodies pressed tightly together. My hands grazed along his back, fingertips greedily feeling every inch of its smooth surface. His skin felt so _wonderful_ against mine.

And he was kissing my neck and sucking on my earlobe when he sneakily crept a hand under the waistband of my pants, feeling between my thighs. I felt a deep chuckle against my skin as he whispered to me, “You are an _ocean_ , _da’len_.” He licked my neck. “How dare you even _think_ to deny me when your body sings this way?” He slid his willowy fingers inside me then, forcing a moan from my lips.

My back started to arch as he expertly massaged between my legs. _Why was he so_ good _at this??_ I was like putty beneath him, whimpering and shuddering uncontrollably. “Please, Fen, _please_ ,” I begged, but he only gave me a devious smile.

I started pulling at _his_ pants then, determined to have my revenge. I yanked at the laces of them impatiently, and when I got them down to his knees, I saw the length of his...  _gulp_. It was shocking. “Oh, my god,” I said aloud in disbelief.

“Yes, _emma lath_?” he answered teasingly.

“Um,” I said awkwardly. “It’s shocking when it’s... when it’s...  _you know_.” Big. Hard. _I can’t even..._

“It’s yours, _ma vhenan’ara_.”

I gripped at it then, running my hand down its length and causing him to groan, and _let me tell you_ , that thing was like a fucking rock, holy shit, and I probably would’ve been almost terrified if I didn’t want it so bad... and _gods, I wanted it_ bad _._

But Solas was a total tease and just continued to kiss me. He had removed his fingers from me, too, and just started to kiss along my body, sucking and licking where he saw fit. He paused at my breasts, taking an extra amount of time in delighting himself with them. "Perfection, _vhenan_ ," he cooed quietly.

He slid off my pants (and boots... _and_ smalls) completely as he moved downwards. “You are exquisite,” he whispered, and then he bowed his head between my legs and nope, no, no, no. _I can’t take this shit_. Too fucking much, _oh my godddddd_.

And I pretty much came right away, a high-pitched moan falling out of my mouth, which was slightly embarrassing, but gods, it felt good and this elf was crazy with his tongue, _let me tell you_.

He licked the length of my thigh before asking all innocently, “Did you enjoy it, _dalen_?” Oh, this bastard, this friggin’ hobo. He knew. _He knew_. And it was written all over his smug face.

“Fuck,” was all I could muster in my “exquisite”ness.

He laughed and then leaned above me again, his face hovering over mine. “But I can’t let you go _yet_ ,” he said with a devilish grin on his features. His fingers were sliding along my body then, making little patterns or something or... oh, shit, he was drawing runes now. Fucking runes on my fucking _skin_. Ice, fire, lightning, he didn’t give a fuck. Just go, go, go.

It wasn’t painful either, just more like incredibly, intensely stimulating, taking my nerves for a rollercoaster. “You’re a monster,” I whispered, but I still wanted him. I wanted the whole thing, the real thing, _his_ thing that he still kept at a careful distance. _Damnit, just fuck me already_.

I leaned forward out of desperation, grabbing at his... _elfhood_ again, and he groaned at the touch, and as I rubbed and I pulled, determined to get him feeling just as frantic as I was. His eyes became dark, and he ripped my hands away, pinning them above me and out of reach. “I am not finished,” he said with a smile, and as my punishment he cast another fire rune right inside me.

I moaned, feeling sure I was going to come yet _again_ , and I shouted, “Just take me already, Dread Wolf!!!”

And he laughed, kissing me tenderly on the mouth, and he finally did it. He fucking did it. One huge thrust and he was in, filling me up and curling me towards him. And yes, it was good. It was so, so, so good.

He didn’t move at first, almost as if something was wrong, and as I searched his face for an answer, his closed eyes gave nothing away. “You feel amazing, _vhenan_ ,” he whispered after what felt like agonizingly long seconds. He slowly opened his eyelids, looking down at me and smiling with this gentle, loving look in his eyes.

I smiled, and _geez_ , I felt like crying I was so happy, like I was finally whole. _This hobo completes me_. How cheesy was I?

He proceeded to move then, carefully sliding out before slowly thrusting in again, and as he did so, he kept his eyes locked on mine, like I was the only thing he could see.

I rolled my hips in time with his, angling them for a deeper entry. He felt so incredible, and the further inside he went, the more pleasure I felt. His magic or aura or _something_ was pressing all along my skin as well, gently kissing and stroking my every nerve.

I came again, arching my back and clinging my hands tighter to him, moaning, “ _Solas_.” He caught my mouth in a kiss, tangling a hand into my hair. He broke away to look at me, a little smile on his lips, and I felt so overwhelmed right then and there by how much I loved him. “ _Ma vhenan_ ,” I whispered.

He moaned, absolutely reeling from the words, closing his eyes and sinking his head to kiss my neck. His movements became quicker then, as if he were no longer able to keep a slower pace. He kept his face in the crook of my neck, sending ragged breaths prickling across my skin. The momentum of his thrusts accelerated, little grunts escaping him.

Each one felt like ecstasy, and I only wanted more. It was like pure elvhen glory, unbearably satisfying, and it felt so good, so very, _very_ good. I was feeling my pleasure near its peak again when he suddenly pulled out, breaking away from me and rocking back to sit on his ankles, breathing heavily.

“What’s wrong?!” I asked, alarmed.

His eyes were closed, and he was still exhaling deeply. He shook his head. “I was nearly...” he trailed off quietly.

I rolled my eyes, sitting up. _Men!_ I crawled towards him on my knees, and he opened his eyes, watching me with heavy-lidded desire. When I reached him, I hiked my legs around his, and gently lowered myself down, joining us again. He let out a little moan from the feeling and enveloped me again in his arms.

I kissed him, placing my hands around his neck and rocking my hips back and forth. He moaned some more, and I whispered warningly into his ear, “ _Never do that again_.” But I had absolutely _nothing_ to threaten him with. I only kissed his neck several times, drawing in his scent with my nose. He smelled _amazing_.

“What will you do to me, _vhenan_?” he asked my ear, licking the curve of it.

“ _This_ ,” I said, smiling, and I used all the force of my body to push him onto his back. He landed with an _oompf!_ into the grass.

Solas laughed, pulling my face towards him with his hands so he could kiss me again. I was straddled on top of him now, and I continued to move my hips in a way we both found pleasing, but this time going faster.

“ _Anna_ ,” he moaned, and his hands glided down my back until he reached the bottom, _my_ bottom, that is, squeezing and pulling me lower. He took a hand away to slide between our bodies, until he was touching between my thighs, making me gasp from the sensual contact.

I met his lips with mine again and started moving even faster, as fast as I could go. We were both so near, I could feel it, and he started to say my name, over and over, like some desperate prayer.

And then he came inside me, his body convulsed towards mine, and I came, too, and his groan was so loud it scared some birds away, I was pretty sure. I relaxed on top of him, lying on his chest while he softened beneath me. “ _Ar lath ma,_ Anna, _ma sa’lath_ ,” he whispered in my ear, kissing my hair.

“ _Ar lath ma,_ Fen’Harel.”

Yep. I just fucked an elven god.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first, the very first, smut chapter I have ever written in me whole life (although this is _also_ the very first fanfic I have ever written as well O_O), and I never thought I would ever be writing it, but here it is and there ya go and blah blah I'm nervous-rambling!!
> 
> Anyway, since it’s Anna, it’s a little neurotic and silly and full of curse words, but I hope you’ll understand... And it's not super explicit either, so just use your colorful imaginations, kay? ;)
> 
> And btw, can you believe I wasn’t even planning on Solas and Anna getting together when I started this?? Yep, that’s the truth, the whole truth, and now that I'm here, I wouldn't change a thing :)
> 
> Elvish translations:  
>  _vhenan_ = heart (Just wanted to point out, FenxShiral wrote [this lovely explanation](http://fenxshiral.tumblr.com/post/117205507718/savhalla-hahren-so-i-have-a-question-thats-been) of the meaning of vhenan and after reading it, I felt so inspired I wrote that Solas POV from last chapter. His interpretation is that it really means home, which poetically is the same as heart)  
>  _emma lath_ = my love  
>  _vhenan'ara_ = heart's desire  
>  _ar lath ma_ = I love you  
>  _ma sa'lath_ = my one love


	59. Hungry Like the Wolf

I was lying next to Solas on the ground, taking deep breaths. “Oh, my god,” I said, a realization hitting me. I covered my eyes with one hand. “Am I pregnant with some wolf baby now?”

Solas laughed, pulling me towards him until my body was flush against his. “No,” he said, wrapping his arms around me, “It is highly unlikely. The probability of two races conceiving is so miniscule, it is nearly impossible.”

“I see,” I said, nuzzling my head into the crook of his neck. “Then can we do it again?” I asked, smiling slyly.

He kissed my hair. “ _If_ you are still able,” he said into my ear.

I twisted my head, looking up at him. “You think I can’t handle it, Fen?” I asked accusingly.

He smiled, chuckling softly. “I went easy on you,” he said with an impish grin.

I rolled my eyes. “How do you know that _I_ didn’t go easy on _you_?” I asked. “Hmmm??”

He put a hand to my face, grabbing my chin. “I find that highly doubtful,” he said, smiling with one eyebrow in the air.

I leaned in and kissed him. “Well, let’s see about that.”

And we started again. And again. And did it a few more times. And I knew I should have been tired, but Solas had some sort of rejuvenating magic that he would continuously pour into me, energizing and renewing my desire.

Eventually we ended up in a river, which I soon realized was planned by the hobo to have a quick wash. We were covered in sweat and sex, and frost runes could only relieve so much. I dunked my head in the water, letting the current wash over my skin. Solas did the same, and when I emerged, he put his arms around me, his chest to my back.

I felt something hard press against me, so I asked him, “ _Again_ , _hahren_?”  _This wolf._

“I will never tire of your magnificence,” he said, pressing his lips to my neck. He bent down low and with one quick thrust was inside me again. I gasped, and he whispered, “I would pleasure you for an eternity, _emma lath_.” He moved slowly and purposely, sliding in and out. One of his hands crept down my stomach, fingers twirling between my thighs.

We both orgasmed again, and he lifted me off him to set me down on the river’s edge, my feet still dangling in the water as I sat in the grass. He smiled. “Are you hungry, _vhenan_?”

I hadn’t really noticed until he asked, but I was starving. I nodded, smiling and pulling him closer for a kiss.

“Then I shall return shortly,” he said quietly against my lips. He broke away from me with a smile. Solas then leapt from the creek to the ground, turning mid-air into his wolf form, four paws hitting the grass. He gave me a sloppy lick on the cheek before sprinting off into the forest.

“Ack!” I said, laughing. I used the river water to wipe off the slobber, and then turned my attention to my surroundings. This forest was lovely, that was for sure. It was lush and a bit jungle-ly, with beautiful green canopies that filtered the sun in golden hues. It was warm, too, the air humid and thick with remnants of an ancient magic.

The Dread Wolf soon returned with a rabbit dangling bloodily from his muzzle. He shapeshifted to his elf form, dropping the animal into his hands in the process. Solas grinned arrogantly at me, wiping some blood from his face and looking like _quite_ the savage hobo.

“Have fun?” I asked, still seated on the ground.

“I have not hunted in that form for a long time,” he said, walking himself closer to me. He sat on the ground beside me and started preparing the meal, collecting some wood and lighting it with veilfire. He also found some berries as he did so, which we ate as it roasted.

When it finished cooking, he tore some of the meat off, seemingly unfazed by its heat. He plucked it into his mouth, tasting it, and apparently satisfied, he tore off a larger portion for me. “It’s hot, _da’len_ ,” he warned.

I took it gingerly from him, playing a little hot potato until it was okay to hold. Solas leaned back on the ground, propped up by his elbows and chewing slowly. I duplicated his pose, tearing off small slivers and popping them into my mouth. “ _Ma serannas_ , Solas,” I murmured between bites.

He nodded and continued to eat, observing me closely. “How would you describe your world, _vhenan_?” he asked quietly. “What is it like?”

The question took me off-guard. “Hmmm,” I said, thinking of how to explain it to him. “ _Very_ different. It only has humans; other races don’t even exist.”

He tilted his head, looking the slightest bit confused. “Then how do you know so much about the races here?” he asked. “Did you learn of them in the Fade?”

It felt like a huge wave of guilt just punched me in the face. He still thought I had learned everything from the Fade. _Geez... I’m as bad as Solas!_ I had lied to him for long enough. “Not... _exactly_ ,” I answered, finishing another mouthful. “In my world, we have...  _stories_ about Thedas. Tales, that sort of thing.” _Yeah... this could work._ I didn’t want to tell him they were just...  _games_. That I had literally _played around_ with everyone’s lives... with _his_ life. As much as I didn’t want to lie to him, the truth sounded too cruel.

“Tales?” he asked, leaning closer and highly intrigued.

I nodded, gliding a hand down the skin of his arm. “Yeah, about historical events, important leaders... stuff like that.”

“Was that how you learned of me?” he inquired. His blue eyes were bright with interest.

I nodded hesitantly, dropping my hand to ground. “I... lied when I said I knew from the Fade. I thought it sounded less suspicious.” I looked down at the grass, plucking some out.

Solas hummed in contemplation. “You were probably right to do so,” he admitted.

I paused, thinking a moment. “There’s... more, too,” I told him carefully, keeping my eyes on the ground. _I should just tell him._

He laughed. “I would expect as much.” He leaned over, lifting my chin with his hand to kiss me. “You are so unique,” he said, smiling. He looked so happy, it nearly killed me.

“Yeah...” I laughed awkwardly. _Here we go_. “Our stories... well, we can _play_ them.”

“ _Play_ them?” Solas asked, lifting an eyebrow. He still had his hand on my face, making it impossible for me to look away. He didn’t seem angry, but only slightly confused by the statement.

I continued my explanation. “Sort of like... act them out. Pretend to be an influential figure and live out their story.”

“What an intriguing concept,” he remarked. “Like something theatrical?” He moved his hand to brush away some of my hair.

“No,” I said, shaking my head. “Like a virtual experience... like almost becoming that person and controlling their body and words, just to feel and understand what it would be like.” _It almost sounds academic when put that way..._

“I see.” His fingers lightly traced my face, following the lines of my cheek and down to my jaw. He almost seemed more interested in _that_ than what I was saying. “And who did you pretend to be?” he asked softly, smiling as if amused at the thought.

“The Inquisitor,” I answered flatly, my tone completely serious.

Solas jerked back suddenly, eyes widened in surprise. “Inquisitor Lavellan?” he asked with a bewildered frown.

I nodded, his change in demeanor worrying me. “That’s why I knew so much about her... about the Inquisition. I had practically lived as Lavellan, making all the same decisions she did... the alliance with the mages, making Gaspard emperor...” I shrugged. “Everything.” _I made that Gurlll_.

Solas was still frowning as he digested my new declaration. His hand had fallen to the grass, no longer touching me, as he asked, “And as you assumed her role... were you... with me as well?”

Was I _ever_. I couldn't help but smile, looking downwards. “It was hard to stay away,” I said shyly.

Solas laid back on the ground, taking in this strange information. He started laughing, out of disbelief. “This is very unexpected indeed.” He turned his gaze to me, looking in awe. “I always thought she shined so bright, leading the Inquisition fearlessly... and then I met you, someone who knew so much about me, and yet still insisted to befriend me.” He sat up slowly from the grass, still not touching me, and I wondered if I repulsed him now, if my confession was too disturbing.

But my unasked question was soon answered, as he planted a palm on the ground for balance, and he leaned in and kissed me again. He only barely broke away to continue speaking, resting his forehead on mine. “You astonished me with your wisdom and compassion, never letting anything cloud your optimism,” he said quietly, holding my face gently with his other hand. “I found myself drawn to you, and it was impossible to avoid it. I was conflicted. And soon I thought of little else...”

He brought his mouth to mine and kissed me a few more times, pulling my body closer to him. I wrapped an arm around his back, my hand sliding between his shoulder blades. His aura was feeling heavy upon me again, like a heat melting all along my body.

I was _really_ starting to forget about whatever we were talking about before when he stopped, pulling away to say, quite slowly, “But I... I began to care for you... even more than... the Inquisitor, which seemed... nearly _inconceivable_.” He gave me a thin smile, looking almost ashamed. “I had never cared for a human before.”

Solas’ gaze wandered my face, moving all around it. His eyes paused on my hair, and he started to play with it, twisting locks into his fingers and examining them. “To find out you essentially lived as her, however distantly, is... extraordinary.” He looked into my eyes. “It is like it was only you I loved all along.”

My heart started to flutter from his words, but Solas looked very serious, almost scared or something, which in turn, made _me_ scared. I caressed his cheek with my hand. “This must be very unsettling for you,” I said, unable to think of how to comfort him. _The whole thing is pretty creepy..._  It obviously upset him.

He smiled, and my worry seemed to vanish instantly from how warm the expression was. He kissed me softly again, closing his eyes. “I strangely feel...  _relieved_ ,” Solas said, pulling away and still smiling.

I tilted my head. “Did you feel guilty?” I asked, but the idea did not surprise me.

“Yes,” he answered. “But that emotion is very familiar to me.” He gazed into my eyes a bit longer before pulling me into a strong embrace. “I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you, too,” I returned. I smiled and felt so elated, like so much was finally right between us.

“I have never spoken those words before,” Solas said. He still held me close, and his breath was warm against my skin.

I laughed lightly. “You’re so progressive, Fen’Harel.”

He laughed. “I try,” he joked.

“ _Ar lath ma_ ,” I said softly, looking up at him.

“ _Ar lath ma, ma sa’lath_.” And I knew he really meant it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... And they were naked the whole time....
> 
> Elvish translations:  
>  _emma lath_ = my love  
>  _vhenan_ = heart  
>  _ma serannas_ = my thanks/thank you  
>  _ma sa'lath_ = my one love


	60. True Love Fades

We both fell asleep after that, his arms still wrapped around me and my head resting against his chest. I didn’t want to sleep, honestly, but I was tired after the meal and also knew he wanted to rest. He had expelled a lot of mana from our, uh, _jaunts_.

I felt overjoyed from his revelations, but it only seemed to increase the looming melancholy of losing him so soon. _Did he really have to die?_

Everything felt finally right now, truths out in the open and our emotions unmasked. But I supposed it was just like Solas to abandon it immediately. My only consolation was that sleep brought dreams, and my _vhenan_ was a somniari.

When I opened my eyes, it was bright, but immediately I could tell it was the Fade. I looked around and observed my surroundings. I was in a village, standing in a town square encircled by little wooden houses. I soon felt Solas’ presence behind me, and he took my hand. I turned to him and saw his hair was long again, flowing down his back, and his eyes and complexion glowed radiantly. “This is where I was raised,” he told me, his bright blue gaze pouring into mine. “I wanted you to see it.”

I placed a hand on his chest, running my fingers down the material of a crisp blue tunic. He was dressed plainly (although better than his usual unwashed hobo clothes), even though he looked like his ancient regal self. “Thank you,” I told him, smiling.

Solas smiled and kissed me, and then he started leading me through the town. We walked along a cobblestone path, but they didn’t light up the way the tiles in Arlathan did. The village was surrounded by a forest, it appeared, and several of the trees actually merged with the buildings. Their branches curved into arches, supporting the structure of their roofs. In fact, looking closer, I realized that the village was actually built _around_ the trees, fusing to them in a natural fashion.

“So you were born here, Solas?” I asked, looking around the town. “How long ago was this?”

He was silent a moment, observing me. “Nearly nine thousand years ago,” he finally answered quietly. He watched me carefully, gauging my reaction.

“Nine...  _thousand_ years ago?” I said under my breath. “You’re _really_ old, _hahren_.” I snorted. He was pretty _hahren_ , indeed.

“How old are you, _vhenan_?” he asked curiously.

I smiled, shaking my head. _NINE THOUSAND_. How was that even possible?? “I don’t even want to tell you, Solas,” I said, putting a palm to my cheek. “But way, _way_ younger than you.”

He smiled, pulling my hand away from my face and holding it in his own. “Does this upset you?”

“Nah,” I said, “I already knew you were old... I was just a little _surprised_ , that’s all.” I smiled up at him. _But still... nine_ _thousand..._ _that’s pretty old, man..._

He kissed my hair and then continued to walk me through the town, gliding a hand around my waist. The buildings became scarcer as we walked, and I guessed that we were in a residential neighborhood now.

“I was not born a noble,” he explained as he led me along. “But my status was heightened by my exceptional skill in magic and mind.” He stopped us in front of a little house, the glass stained with the image of a tree. “It was Mythal who discovered me. I had traveled to Arlathan with my parents, and she detected my abilities.”

A little elven boy emerged from the house, pulling a woman by the hand. He looked about eight or nine, and his big blue eyes shone brilliantly. The boy said something to the woman in Elvish, and she laughed in return.

“That was me as a child,” Solas said, gazing upon his younger self (who was super cute, by the way). “And that is my mother,” he quietly added.

“She’s lovely, Fen,” I commented, looking at the woman. She had long, copper-colored hair that hung freely down her back, though some of the locks were pulled away from her face and braided around the crown of her head. His mother had sharp features, just like her son, and her smile was so bright and happy. I looked back at Solas to compare their likeness.

He looked very sad as he gazed upon her, his eyes downcast and his mouth in a grave frown. “She was incredibly strong, and enduring, as she gave me to the pantheon knowing I could never return,” he explained in a low voice.

“Oh,” I said. “That’s... terrible.” _Giving up your son forever..._

“It was an honor, but also a great loss for her and my father.” He watched his mother, who was now walking her child past us and towards the town center. “I seldom saw them after my apotheosis.”

“I’m sorry,” I said, leaning into him.

He turned to me, smiling sadly. “I do not often think of them,” he confessed. “But as it is the eve of my death, I am feeling nostalgic.”

I took a deep breath. “Does it really have to be tomorrow?” I asked him. My voice was starting to shake.

“Yes,” he said, looking at me intensely, a frown on his face. “I was greedy to even delay it a day.” He brought a hand to my face, smiling a little. “But it has been one of the happiest memories of my life.” He kissed me again. “I will die selfishly content from knowing your love.”

I started to cry then and threw my arms around him. His resolve was unflinching, his duty above anything else. I knew it was pointless to try and convince him otherwise. He had decided this long before he had ever met me. I just had to accept it and swallow the pain. I took a deep breath and looked into his eyes. “I am gonna miss you so much.”

He placed a hand on my face. “Perhaps we will meet again in another world.” He pulled my head towards his, meeting his lips with mine. I closed my eyes, trying to memorize exactly how it felt.

When I opened my eyes again, we were somewhere else completely. It was a ball, much like the one from the first Fade dream he had ever brought me to. We were standing in the middle of the dancefloor, with noble elves prancing all around us.

“Why here?” I asked him, surprised. The ballroom was dimly lit, but little wisps of light floated around us, illuminating the area like luminous, golden stars.

Solas smiled at me. “I want to dance with you, _vhenan_ ,” he said, almost timidly.

I smiled. “The Dread Wolf just wants to dance, huh?”

He laughed. “With you, Anna, always.” It was then that I noticed I was wearing a beautiful floor-length gown, clothed in a blue the same color as his eyes. It had layers and layers, sparkling gently in a magical way.

Solas was wearing a nice elven-y suit, the same color as my dress, but trimmed with silky layers of silver. He soon raised my hand with his in the air, while his other was placed at my waist. He smiled at me, and we started our dance. I didn’t really know the steps, but Solas was so good at leading, it didn’t really matter.

He spun me around, moving me to a rhythm I couldn’t really hear, but rather _felt_. Solas really was an excellent dancer. He strode with elegant purpose, stepping easily in a pattern he had learned from long ago. I wondered if his grace came from some natural ability, or if it was simply an effect of practice.

We waltzed across the floor, and I laughed at his enthusiasm. He returned a laugh too, and after spinning me around again, he caught me in a kiss. “You are quite ungraceful, _vhenan_ ,” he smirked with a wolfish grin.

“You’re so mean, _hahren_ ,” I said, my tone indignant, but I was smiling, regardless.

“And yet,” he continued, smiling as if I had not said anything, “I could not want for a better partner.” He pressed his lips to my cheek. “If I were blind to everything but your dancing, _emma lath_ , I would be content,” he whispered into my ear.

“ _Solas_ ,” I said, practically in tears from the sweetness of his words, “you can’t mean that.”

He smiled. “ _Ar lath ma,_ Anna,” he whispered, and then he met my lips again, holding me close to his body.

Solas continued to kiss me, ceasing all dancing, until we were both fervently clasping on to each other, my leg hitching up along his side, and his hand sliding down it.

I lost my balance and began to fall, with his tightly bound body following. But as we landed on the floor, it was soft and comfortable, and I opened my eyes to see we were on something white and fluffy now, our fine clothing “magically” disappeared.

“Solas!” I exclaimed, realizing where we were and sitting upright. “We’re on a _cloud_.” I felt absolutely mesmerized. I leaned over the side of it, sitting on my knees and peering down at what I presumed to be Thedas. We were miles above the ground, and I could see little rivers and trees as we gently floated along in the breeze. Touching the cloud only felt like cool air of no real substance, and yet there was some invisible force holding just the two of us up.

“Elvhenan is below us,” Solas explained, appearing at my side and wrapping an arm around me. “When Arlathan fell, it crushed several villages in Thedas, killing hundreds in the crash.” His voice was full of regret as he described the event.

“So it literally _fell_? From the _sky_?” I wondered.

“Yes,” Solas said solemnly. “All due to the rebellion that I initiated.”

I looked at him, and he turned to me, eyes sad. “But you didn’t know that would happen. It wasn’t your fault!”

He shook his head. “It is entirely my fault, _vhenan_ ,” he said quietly, placing a hand gently to my cheek. “But there is no point in arguing it. The mistake has already been made.”

I exhaled. “I know...” He didn’t want to be comforted, didn't want to be convinced otherwise. His plan was all set. There was no preventing it.

“I know this is hard for you,” he said, pressing his forehead against mine. “But please know that this is also painful for me. I don’t want to leave you.”

I nodded. “I know, Solas.” I gave him a weak smile. “I understand.”  _I have to stop trying_.

Solas brought me into warm embrace. “ _Anna_ ,” he whispered. “ _Ma vhenan_.” He softly pressed his lips to my forehead, and then traveled downwards to my cheekbone, my nose, my jaw... He was kissing every part of my face until he finally reached my lips, and it was with such passion that we both fell down into the softness of that magical cloud.

He sent feathery kisses down my neck, and I explored his bare body, clutching at whatever I could grasp. _I have to remember this_. The way his skin felt beneath my fingers, the way his eyes looked as he gazed lovingly into mine, the way his voice sounded as he whispered my name... He soon entered me again, barely wasting a moment, and clouds drifted around us as we joined together again and again in the Fade.

And I couldn’t help but feel like I would never love another man as much as I loved this wolf.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was looking at Solas gifs made by [lyriumnug](http://lyriumnug.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr, and just sighing like an idiot as I wrote this. Particularly [this](http://33.media.tumblr.com/d44b5393daf284a325fed21d96cb3480/tumblr_nlpx5tkbTZ1qljgf8o1_500.gif) and [this](http://38.media.tumblr.com/09f6a04fb681617021fe3a47cff4187c/tumblr_nijukgmXuQ1qljgf8o2_500.gif). Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
> 
> Okay, maybe [this one](http://33.media.tumblr.com/03de3a9b134881a4569efd7c0b5aa3e1/tumblr_nilgxrqVIb1qljgf8o3_500.gif) too. Double sighhhhhhhhhh.


	61. Awakening

Solas was already awake when I opened my eyes. He smiled, watching me with loving admiration. “ _Ma’arlath_ ,” he said, combing his fingers through my hair to cradle my head. Our limbs were still entangled, and I lifted my face to kiss him, which he eagerly returned.

Today was the day. I was grateful Solas had made our time in the Fade feel more like days instead of hours, but it did little to ease the pain of knowing what was to come. I traced my fingers down his chest and along his body, knowing this would probably be the last time. Life was so cruel.

A few tears escaped from my eyes, which he tenderly wiped away, pulling me closer to him in a gentle embrace. He whispered some things in Elvish, things I didn’t understand, but they sounded nice and sweet and comforting, almost like a soothing lullaby. In that moment, that small, little moment, it was all going to be okay. We loved each other, and he was protecting me, keeping me safe from the pain. I breathed him in, took in his scent, his aura...

But it only lasted a few minutes before he broke away and heaved himself up. I remained on the ground, silently crying from the loss of his touch and warmth, realizing how soon it was all going to happen.

As I did this, he walked around gathering things, but I kept my eyes closed, pretending like it wasn’t happening. When I felt him near me again, I opened my eyes to see he was kneeling beside me, fully clothed and holding my own garments.

“It is time to dress, _vhenan_ ,” he said gently, pulling me into a sitting position by the arms. He hugged me briefly and kissed my cheek before handing me the clothing, but I refused to move. Understanding that I wasn’t going to do it myself, he tugged them on for me, and I unwillingly began to dress. _I don’t want this to happen_.

When I was fully clothed again, he stood and lifted me up to my feet, embracing me tightly again. “ _Ma emma lath, ma vhenan_ ,” he said quietly, and he kissed me slowly and tenderly. I felt every emotion possible in his lips: love, longing, sorrow. It broke my heart because I realized it was the last one.

He eventually broke away and started walking into the forest, leaving me to follow. I cried out a little in agony, not wanting to accept what was happening, but having no other choice. I reluctantly followed him through the jungle, until we arrived at the eluvian we had used just yesterday. Solas unlocked it again, barely gesturing his hand, and then he turned to me, looking pale and bleak. He remained silent, but he took my hand, and together we entered the Crossroads.

Solas took his time leading us through the paths of endless mirrors. He walked slowly, seemingly in no hurry, and I let go of his hand to wrap it around his waist instead, and he slid his arm around mine in turn. As we moved, I thought about our time together. The dreams, the fights, the laughs... Even thinking back to all those memories when it was just the two of us in his rotunda, and he was only reading... It was aching to remember, because I knew I could never have that again.

Solas stopped, and I realized we were both standing in front of that enormous eluvian, with statues of Fen’Harel and Mythal towering above us. He turned to me, his expression solemn and full of remorse. “ _Dareth shiral_ , Anna,” he said, looking deeply into my eyes. He removed his jawbone pendant then, placing it around my neck. “Even in death, I will always love you.”

I hugged him and started to cry again, whimpering, “ _Ar lath ma,_ Fen’Harel. I will never stop loving you.”

He kissed my hair and then pulled me off of him, gently pushing my body away. “The path remains lit, Anna,” he said without looking at me. “Please follow it back to Skyhold.” He turned to the eluvian. “Be safe, _vhenan_ , and live well... Live on without me, as happily as you can.”

I stood there, incredibly depressed and not wanting to move, not wanting to leave. I looked at the stone tiles he had referred to, and they did indeed still glow a faint blue. What was the point in returning to Skyhold? He wouldn’t be there. It wasn’t my home, not without him. “How can I?” I whispered, my voice desperate. “How could I ever be happy without you?”

Solas didn’t respond, but only stood there a few moments, staring at the mirror. He bowed his head slightly, a sorrowful hunch in his posture, but he still refused to look at me.

Minutes passed, and I thought, naively, that perhaps he had decided against it, that he would finally stop. But then, without even waiting for me to leave, he started opening the portal.

Solas held his hands palm-up before him, and a bright blue light emerged from his fingers. I backed away, realizing he was casting his spell now, and walked a few paces back to give him enough room. As I stood a few yards away, I watched as the light floated towards the mirror, illuminating and melting its surface into a flowing magical field. _I should leave, I should go..._  but my feet wouldn’t move.

The air seemed to fill with magic, humming and breathing with life. Ancient whispers long kept silent, like an unending song with no words or music. Looking into the eluvian was nearly blinding, as the portal shone like pure white light.

Solas stooped to his knees, head bowed in submission. Glowing entities soon emerged from the eluvian, taking careful, slow steps out onto the ground. Wonderment and fear soon washed over me as I watched. It all happened so much faster than I had anticipated. Seven emerged from behind the shimmering glass, all taking the shapes of elves. The pantheon.

At first, they only looked like bright lights in elven form, like spirits from the Fade, their features cloaked in silvery white. But as the moments passed, the shining faded, and their bodies became flesh, like life revived.

Had they been conscious in that mirror? Merely waiting in their prison as centuries ticked by? Or did his magic awaken them just now, drawing them out?

One particularly tall elf stepped ahead of the rest, approaching the kneeling Solas. “Fen’Harel,” he said, his voice deep and rich. He started saying several things in their ancient tongue that I could not understand, but by the look on his face, he seemed very angry. His hair was long and white, and his eyes nearly black, or perhaps they _were_ black, as I was too far away to really see them.

The elf’s tone was incredulous and full of rage, his eyes were burning with passion. Solas looked straight into his gaze though, speaking in a calm, measured voice. Something seemed to happen to the standing man as Solas spoke, because his expression suddenly changed to amazement. He tilted his head curiously at Solas, reaching his hand out slowly towards him. “ _Mythal..._ ” he said softly.

A burst of purple light emerged from Solas, floating gently towards the other elf. He accepted Mythal’s essence gratefully, clutching his chest and closing his eyes. Opening them slowly, he focused again on the Dread Wolf.

My heart was racing, watching this exchange from afar. This was the moment, the time I should flee. _He’s going to kill Solas now_.

And I knew that was what Solas expected, even probably what he _wanted_ , but I couldn’t just stand there and watch him die. I started moving without thinking, my boots clacking loudly on the stones. All the elves, save Solas, snapped their attention to me, dark glowing eyes questioning my presence, as if they hadn’t noticed me before now.

I wasn’t strong enough to stop them from killing him, but perhaps I could somehow convince them not to. I threw my arms around Solas, who was still kneeling, still looking towards the pantheon. “Please don’t hurt him!” I shouted uselessly.

“Anna,” Solas said softly, his hand touching one of my arms around him.

And suddenly, there was a flash of light and a loud crack, and I felt a sharp pain that was gone in an instant. The world before me blazed white before turning all to black, and soon I was falling...

And then it stopped. Everything stopped. The world was still black, but I could feel my body. And I couldn’t move.

_Am I dead?_

Then, something faint and far-off. A noise in the distance.

_Beep... beep... beep..._  A beeping noise? It sounded digital, artificial. _Where am I?_

“Hey, she needs help! Something’s wrong!” a voice shouted. The frequency of the beeping was getting faster and faster.

And then it completely stopped.

“Get the defibrillator,” a much calmer voice sounded.

“Will she be okay? What’s wrong with her?!” the first voice demanded.

“Can someone get her out of here, please?” There was a slight panic in his voice, like he was losing his composure.

There were many noises now, sounds of struggling. “But wait! _Anna_!” she cried.

_What’s happening to me?!_

Hands on my body, pressing harshly into my skin, my chest. It hurt, it frightened me. “On my count... one, two, three... CLEAR!”

I felt a shock crash through my body, painfully flowing from my chest to my limbs.

I wasn’t dead. I was _dying_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My soundtrack for this chapter: [Downton Abbey theme song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n7ULKKJ5UpI). Booooom.
> 
> Elvish translations:  
>  _ma’arlath_ = my love  
>  _Ma emma lath, ma vhenan._ = You are my love, my heart (my home).  
>  _dareth shiral_ = farewell, safe journey


	62. Darkness

I couldn't move, couldn't see anything. I couldn't open my eyes. But I still felt the pain, and I could hear all that was going on around me.

"She's still in cardiac arrest!" a loud voice yelled.

"CLEAR!” That sharp pain jolted through my body again, like lightning striking my core.

I still couldn't move, couldn't speak, couldn't see, but I felt hands on my body, pricking and prodding and pumping on my skin in harsh movements.

I wanted to scream, thrash around, force them away. _I’m here, I’m alive, and I can_ feel _!!_

The pain soon became unbearable, and I lost consciousness again.

 

*****

 

“I just don't understand! She's been calm for months... Just lying here sleeping...” a worried voice said, stirring me back to awareness... I recognized this voice. It was my mother's.

“The doctors said that this can just happen sometimes, especially when a patient has been comatose for so long... the heart weakens...” another voice said quietly. My father’s.

My mother was crying softly, and I felt her hold my hand. _Mom_.

“I mean, I'm happy she's alive, but... What if she never wakes up?” Her voice was shaky, and with every word, the grip on my hand became tighter.

“It's been months, Sharon, _months_... What if this is it?” my father said in an anguished tone. “Maybe we need to let her go...” he added in a whisper. He exhaled sharply. “I don’t know... I mean, I can't believe I’m saying this, but... she wasn’t doing very well, anyway. She was failing school... I don’t really know how her social life was, but she never mentioned friends or anything... She just always seemed so...  _detached_ from the world... from _us_.” He took another heavy breath. “Maybe this was for the best... meant to be.” His voice broke on the last sentence, and I heard some low weeping noises.

My mother only started to sob louder from his suggestion. “She’s my little girl, you know? I can’t just let her go like this...”

“But she’s already dying... a human vegetable... this isn’t a life.” His voice sounded so sad and pained.

_Was I in a coma? Was this a hospital?_ I still couldn’t see anything, couldn’t move... This was agony. My parents were mourning, as if I were already dead, and discussing whether they should continue my life support. They were talking about me... about _killing_ me, and I couldn’t even tell them anything.

My mother let go of my hand, and she and my father left the room with quiet whimpers. I was alone now, with only the beeping sound of my heart to keep me company.

This had to be worse than death. To only lie here, doing nothing... waiting to die. _Had_ I died? What happened to Solas? Did the elves just kill the both of us? Was I transported here from my death in Thedas?

But they said I had been asleep for months... in a coma for months? That was about how long I had been in the game... had my body just been comatose in the real world this entire time?

I couldn’t even take control of my body anymore... was this a result of being killed in _Dragon Age_? Did my brain think I died? I tried to move my fingers, my toes, _anything_ , but I remained still, lifeless. _I’m dead, aren’t I?_

I willed my muscles as much as I could, trying to budge them just a millimeter. _Move, move, please move_. But nothing happened. My real life was over, my body was dead. I was only a shell.

I wanted to go back... I _needed_ to go back. Even if Solas was... I didn’t want to think about it. If this was my real life now... then all I had left was Thedas.

But no. That was gone, too, wasn’t it? I had died in the game, and now I was practically dead in real life. I wanted to cry, to scream, _anything_ , but I couldn’t, and the despair from it all just made everything worse. I had nothing. I _was_ nothing.

 

*****

 

“Hey, it’s me, Lauren. Remember me? Your roommate?” she asked. Her voice roused me from a semi-slumber, and I felt an excitement from hearing someone I knew. _A visitor! My best friend Lauren!_

She sighed. “You probably can’t even hear me... but I don’t know, maybe you can. Someone told me I should try talking to you, so I thought I’d stop by...”

She was silent a few minutes, and I heard a couple of quiet sobs. “I was the one that found you, you know. Just passed out on our couch.” She laughed bitterly. “I thought you were asleep, and I kept shaking and shaking your body...”

Lauren cried a bit more as she remembered trying to wake me up. “I can’t believe the last thing you were doing was playing _Dragon Age_...” She laughed again, but still sarcastically. “I should write Bioware and tell them what that Solas romance does to people... that it literally _kills_.” She started to cry much louder now, and I wished I could tell her I was here, that I wasn’t dead, and I could hear her words. But my body refused.

“I hope you’re happy, at least,” she choked out. “I mean, you definitely weren’t happy _here_.”

_What? What does that mean?_

“You always _acted_ so happy, but I knew you weren’t. You just wanted to escape, you hated the real world. Always playing those games when you could... you were running from reality.” She cried some more. “And now you’ve actually left,” she sobbed.

My roommate knew me so well, it was crazy. But I _was_ here now, I was in reality, and she just didn’t know. _Lauren_. She was the only one I ever told about that Solas romance. I wondered what she would think if I told her what had _really_ happened to me the last few months.

Lauren took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. “I told your work that you couldn’t come in anymore,” she said, her voice slightly quivering. “Your boss really _is_ an asshole. She didn’t even ask why at first, only started bitching about how you were always late, and how of course you would just leave without any notice.” Lauren laughed. “She felt _so_ bad when I told her what happened. I thought you would want to know.”

My boss had always been unreasonably mean to me, but I knew it wasn’t undeserved. I _was_ a pretty lazy employee. I wouldn’t blame her for jumping to conclusions.

“It’s crazy, you know?” Lauren said. “At first, _everybody_ was asking me about you when they heard. Saying they were sorry, and if they could do anything, stuff like that. But now that it’s been a few months... it’s like everyone just forgot. Like you’re just old news.”

That hurt to hear, but then again, could I really blame them? How could I expect everyone to mourn me forever? They needed to get on with their lives. I would probably do the same.

And it wasn’t like I had that many close friends anyway. Lauren was probably my only _real_ friend, and most of that came from just living together.

Lauren sighed. “The new semester started. It’s tough without you, but... at least it keeps me busy. It’s easier to forget...” A little sob escaped her. “I don’t think I can visit anymore, Anna.” She started crying a lot more. “It’s just too hard...”

And I heard her run out the door.

 

*****

 

Eventually, I stopped getting visitors entirely. Lauren had been the only friend to visit me, and she had stopped weeks ago. All I had were my parents, but they didn’t even talk to me anymore, and it had been at least two weeks since they last came by.

So even my parents had given up, although I couldn’t entirely blame them. The last time my mother came in, she only sobbed and left. It was too hard for her. They still kept me on life support, but they were really just holding onto something they knew that they shouldn’t.

I was gone, a lost cause.

The only thing that kept me (relatively) sane were my daily dreams. They were my only escape from the hell of blackness, lying in that hospital bed without the ability to move. When I was conscious, I was dead, but when I dreamed, I was still alive, still myself.

I dreamed of all sorts of things. Moments from the real world and from Thedas. They would usually be simple things, like walking through a park, or maybe driving a car. I was surprised how well I would remember these dreams, but maybe with finding only darkness upon waking, there was nothing there to make me forget

I always woke up happy, too, like I was finally fully alive again, but then reality would overcome me, the blackness taking hold. It was beyond depressing. It was like a cruel purgatory that would only torture me forever, never giving me respite.

Sometimes I would dream of Solas, but that would only make it worse, like a cruel reminder. He would always be far away, out of reach with his back to me, and I would shout at him, begging him to only turn around, just for a moment. I never saw his face.

He was lost to me forever. I would never be able to see, touch, or even hear him again. But he was probably dead, anyway, so there really was no point in longing for someone who was gone. But how could I not? I had nothing left.

Sometimes the nurses would talk about things, which was a nice distraction when I was too awake to fall asleep again. They would talk about their lives, some patient that had aggravated them, or maybe they would say pitying things about me. “This poor girl,” one nurse had said. “She was so young...”

_I_ am _still young_ , I mentally corrected her. _I’m still alive, woman!!_ But she couldn’t hear me. No one could.

As the weeks slowly passed by, and I had absolutely nothing to do, I tried my best to lucid dream. I would think to a memory as hard as I could, repeating it over and over in my head, and then try to fall asleep with that imagery still in my mind. Sometimes it would work, and I would dream of it, but I never really had _control_ while in it.

I didn’t give up though, as it was the only way I could actually _live_ now. I was stuck in the real world, lying there like death. What other choice did I have?

And eventually, I _was_ able to dream of Solas. Properly, like he was there, and we were both happy again. Once, I had a dream where we were playing cards, but then a nurse came in and told me it was time for my tea, so Solas said with a smile, “We’ll continue this later.” And then I woke up.

I had another dream where Solas and I were climbing a mountain, and it was scary, and the rocks cut my fingers, and I shouted at Solas, “I can’t hold on any longer!” and he tried to reach me, to save me, but I fell off anyway. And I woke as I was falling. That one really sucked.

I still couldn’t control what would happen, or often what was in the dream at all, but I could at least dream of Solas, and it almost felt like it was enough. I would think about him so much that my dreams would answer, and that was all I had.

It felt like the world had given up on me. I was like some old statue, collecting dust and moss and decaying away, just waiting for someone to move me or bulldoze me over or something.

And in those long weeks, or maybe months, I wasn’t even sure anymore, I wanted my parents to pull the plug. I wanted them to let me go, so I wouldn’t have to suffer anymore, so I could be free. I wanted to die.


	63. In Dreams

“Can I help you paint, _hahren_?” I asked Solas, who was standing on the scaffolding, painting the Temple of Mythal on the rotunda wall.

“No,” he said coldly, not even turning around. “You would only be an impediment.” He kept his eyes fixed on his work.

I crossed my arms, indignant. “How do you know?! You’ve never even seen me paint!” I shouted up at him.

He looked down at me, eyebrow raised in the air, the hint of a smile on his mouth. “But I have seen you eat, tie knots, gather roots... it is enough to discern your lack of required dexterity,” he smirked.

“ _Please, hahren_ ,” I begged. “I’m _so_ bored!!”

Solas exhaled heavily. He crossed his arms, considering me. “Very well, but listen to _exactly_ what I say, _da’len_ ,” he said after a few moments, clearly defeated.

I cheerfully climbed up the ladder, sitting down on my knees beside him. “Okay,” I said, an excited smile on my face. “What first?”

He handed me a spare paintbrush. “You may fill in this shape with black.” He gestured to a large triangle on the wall.

I nodded. “Yes, sir!” I said with a little salute. I began painting the triangle, carefully filling it in with slow strokes, and he turned back to his (much more complicated) piece.

As I brushed the plaster onto the wall, I noticed how the paint didn’t smell at all. Doesn’t it usually smell?

I turned to Solas, watching him painting. Something didn’t feel right... He looked _real_ , like he was actually there. I was in Skyhold again? But how could I be? I was back in the real world now... in a _coma_ , pretty much dead.

_I’m dreaming_. This was only a memory I had. It wasn’t real at all. And it never could be. Some tears began to fall down my face at the discovery, and I set down the paintbrush to wipe them away. “Oh, _Solas_ ,” I said quietly, closing my eyes from the tears. “I miss you so much.”

I heard his paintbrush drop. “Anna?!” he asked, his voice sounding shocked. Suddenly his arms were around me, and he was holding me tight, kissing my hair. “Is it really you?” he whispered.

I opened my eyes, blinking away some of the tears. “What do you mean?” I asked him, surprised. This wasn’t how Solas would have reacted in this memory...

He broke apart from me slightly to look into my eyes, his hands touching my face. “I watched you die,” he said sadly, but his tone soon turned vicious, “Falon’Din _murdered_ you right in front of me, and I would have killed him, if Elgar’nan had not stopped me.”

“What?!” I said, realization hitting me. This _was_ Solas. He was telling me what happened at the eluvian. What had happened to _me_ , all those many weeks ago, before my whole world went black.

“You died instantly,” he whispered, eyes watery. “I scoured the Fade for your spirit, for only even a remnant, but no trace could be found.” He hugged me again, whispering soft things in Elvish.

“They didn’t kill you?” I asked, still astonished.

“No,” he said into my hair. “Mythal spoke to Elgar’nan. She told him I was to be spared, that I would help the People and rebuild Elvhenan.” He released me slightly, kissing my forehead. “Where did you go, Anna?” he asked, blue eyes searching mine.

“I... was home,” I said. “In my world, but... Solas, I can’t wake up! Everything is completely black, and I can only lie there, not moving or seeing... only hearing, feeling... It’s like I’m sleeping, but I’m actually awake, and it’s _horrible_ ,” I cried.

“You cannot even move, Anna?!” Solas asked, highly alarmed. His brow furrowed worriedly as his hand caressed my cheek. “Are you sure it is your realm?”

I nodded. “Yes... I can still hear things, like people talking... and I’m definitely back, but... it’s like I’m dead.” I started to cry, and he held me tighter. “I can’t do anything, Solas,” I whimpered into his tunic. “It’s worse than death.”

“ _Vhenan_ ,” Solas said, rubbing my back. “That is... _terrible_ , and far worse than I had hoped.” He pulled away to look at me again. “Is there no way to revive you? Return your sight or mobility?”

I shook my head. “I don’t think so... I think I’m just going to be like that until I die...” I sobbed some more. “I’ve missed you so much... I always think about you, wondering what happened...” I reached up and touched his face, the face I held so dear. His sharp chin, cleft, jaw, cheekbone... “What are you doing now?” I asked, wiping away some tears.

“I am leaving Thedas,” he explained. “Travelling the ocean to find a new home for the People, while the pantheon unites what remain of them.”

“Oh,” I said, my voice breaking and a few more tears falling down my cheek. Continuing his duty, as he always did...

“I dream of you every night,” he said softly. “But they are only my memories... I’ve missed you so, _ma vhenan_.” He pulled me towards him and kissed me, gently on the lips. “ _Anna_ ,” he moaned. “We must bring you back, so you may leave such an awful place.”

“I don’t know how to get back to Thedas,” I told him, crying more. “I don’t even know how I got _here_!”

“This is similar to the first time we met,” Solas wondered, stroking my arm. “How did you reach Skyhold then?” he asked. His voice was tender and soothing, and it helped calm me.

I furrowed my brow, trying to remember. “I think... you ended the dream, and I just woke up in Skyhold? I’m not really sure...”

He nodded, lightly petting my cheek. “Perhaps this moment is a chance meeting of dreams, connecting us both between realms,” he reasoned.

I swallowed. “Then do you think once I wake up, I’ll be in Thedas again?” I eagerly asked.

Solas smiled, still caressing my face. “I can only hope.”

“Then wake me up! We can be together again!” I exclaimed passionately, sitting up a little.

“Wait, _da’len_ ,” he said gently. “The outcome is uncertain. This could be our last time ever seeing each other.”

I took a deep breath, trying to stay calm. “Then what should we do?”

He paused for a moment, contemplating. “If we are able to dream the same again, then perhaps we will see each other in the future, even if you are unable to return to Thedas.” He looked me lovingly in the eye. “I will dream this same memory every night, if you are able to do the same.”

I shook my head. “I can’t control my dreams like you can!” I told him hopelessly.

He rubbed my cheek with his thumb. “You must try, Anna.”

“Okay,” I agreed, nodding. A thought struck me. “What if I wake up in Skyhold again? How will I find you?”

“Then I will come for you there,” he said. “You can tell me your location in the Fade.”

I nodded. “Yes. Okay,” I said quietly. He brought my face to his again and kissed me, wrapping his arms around me.

He broke away and whispered into my cheek, “ _Ar lath ma, vhenan_.”

“ _Ar lath ma,_ Solas,” I told him, my hands gripping his back. I planted small kisses along his cheek down to his neck, not wanting a second without him to go by.

He pulled away, looking at my face and smiling. “I truly thought I would never see you again.”

I nodded. “Me too... I thought you were dead, and I’ve just wanted to die ever since we were separated...”

Solas drew me close, holding me firmly in his arms. “Don’t say that, _vhenan_ ,” he said quietly.

“Every day has felt like torture,” I whispered into the fabric of his shirt. “I have nothing.”

“You have me, _emma lath_ ,” he soothed. “I will bring you back.”

“I’m so scared,” I cried quietly. “But... I’m glad I got to see you, at least one last time... and now I know what happened to you.” I took some deep breaths, and his hand caressed my back.

I lifted my head to look at the rotunda around him. I knew it wasn’t really Skyhold, but it was still nice to be here again. I felt like I was home.

“Why did you choose this memory?” I asked curiously.

Solas smiled, glancing at the mural on the wall. “It was this moment that I realized how much I cared for you,” he said softly.

His words made me smile, but then I noticed the rotunda was starting to melt away to black behind him. I quickly looked back at him, a panic overcoming me. “Solas, I think I’m waking up!” I said, terrified. My eyes flew all over his face, trying to take in every last detail while I could.

The last image I saw was of his calm face, full of warmth and hope, saying to me, “I will see you again, Anna.”

 

 

I awoke instantly the moment Anna disappeared from the Fade, a deep sense of loss washing over me. It had been months since I saw her die, her body becoming limp before dissipating into air from Falon’Din’s savage magic. I would have killed him without thought had Elgar’nan not grabbed me, his eyes ghosting with Mythal’s. I would surely be dead without her.

I was in Antiva now, making my way to the coast. I was given the task of sailing the ocean, finding a new homeland for Elvhenan. _It will rise again_.

I rubbed my hands on my head, remembering the dream. My hair was growing quickly since I had stopped using the hindrance spell some months ago. I closed my eyes, willing myself back to sleep.

Once I opened them, I shaped the Fade to the same memory again. I simply watched Anna and myself this time as a bystander, looking up at them from the ground below. As long as I was present, I could find her.

All this time, Anna had been trapped in a prison of her own body? It pained me to think of how she had been suffering, alone and frightened, merely waiting for her own death. _Anna_. I must save her.

I observed the two of us painting side by side in my dream, a memory that seemed like merely seconds ago. My world had changed so quickly.

We painted in silence, sitting atop the scaffolding. I watched as Anna slowly stopped, turning her body and moving her brush towards me like an assassin. I was so focused on my work, I did not notice her approach.

She did it quickly. One large streak across my cheekbone. I turned sharply towards her, my expression vehement. I lurched towards her and with a flick of my wrist, half her delicate face was covered in yellow plaster.

“Gah, _Solas_!” she exclaimed, touching her face reflexively. “It got in my _mouth_!”

I laughed lightly, setting down my brush. I lifted an arm towards her face and waved my hand, clearing the paint away with a spell. She touched her face again and smiled brightly. “Thanks,” she said.

I could not help but return her smile. _I love her_.

Somehow, this strange being from another realm had come into my life, knew my dark secrets, and had loved me regardless. The only one to accept me when every other did not. The only one to still speak with me, remain beside me, even when I was difficult, when I had asked her to leave, when I was completely unworthy of such kind treatment. How did such an innocent and loving spirit come to find me? How was I so fortuitous?

Watching this familiar exchange above me, I sat down on the floor of my dream and waited.

_She will return again_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope the POV change wasn't confusing...
> 
> *Edit: I've written Ch. 61: Awakening from Falon'Din's point of view. That's right, FALON'DIN.
> 
> So [read it here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3902971), if you so desire :)


	64. Return

_My head..._

Everything was aching, hurting... My back felt sore, and my head was pounding, like I had just hit it on something hard.

I flexed my muscles to ease the discomfort...  _wait_. _I CAN MOVE!_

I opened my eyes, and the world was so bright, I had to squint until they adjusted. I was lying on my back on the hard ground, looking up at the sky. It was a gray sky that was pretty cloudy, and the air felt brisk against my skin.

_Am I dreaming?_

The world _felt_ real, though, and as I took a few deep breaths, the cold air chilled my insides. My senses were taking in everything now; the light scent of pine, the touch of grass beneath my fingers... This was not a dream. This was really happening.

_I’m alive._

“ _Holy_ shit,” came a raspy voice.

I turned towards the noise to see some familiar surroundings... stone walls, trees, little tents... I recognized this place. _Skyhold_.

A man walked into my view and was now bending over me. “Is that _you_ , Sleepy?!” a dwarf said, eyebrows raised and mouth open in shock. “You’re _alive_?!”

_Varric is talking to me_ , I thought, feeling completely amazed. _I’m back in Skyhold again, and Varric is talking to me._

He bent to his knees and carefully placed a hand on my arm. “Are you okay?” he asked, concerned at my silence and (probably) dazed expression. “You just...  _fell_ out of the sky!”

I sat up, holding my head and tentatively flexing my muscles again. _Am I really back?_

“Sleepy?” Varric asked again, as I had yet to respond.

“I’m... alive,” I said, bewildered by the sound of my own voice. I looked at Varric then, blinking at him for a few seconds before shouting ecstatically, “VARRIC, I’M ALIVE!!!” I jumped up and threw my arms around the dwarf. “I’m aliiiiive!!!”

“What _happened_ to you?” Varric asked confusedly. “Were you _dead_?”

“Yes...” I answered, still feeling a bit disoriented. I freed him from my embrace. “I died... and then I was in some terrible place where I couldn’t see anything or move, and I would just feel pain...” The explanation spilled out of my mouth before I even thought about it.

_How could any of that have happened?_ I felt some tears prick my eyes from recalling the memory of my coma. _Did Solas bring me back?_

Varric raised both brows and his mouth fell open, looking horrified by my description. “Are you okay?”

_Am I okay?_ I wiped away some tears. _Am I ever!_  “Yes!” I said, laughing a little. “I’m free!!”

“That sounds... well, shit, Sleepy. That sounds awful...” Varric put a hand on my arm, giving me a comforting squeeze. The dwarf seemed at a loss for words.

I smiled. “It _was_ awful, but it’s over now and...” I sniffed a bit. “I’m just so happy to be alive,” I whimpered. I covered my face with my hands, shaking my head and starting to cry again.

Varric looked a little teary too as he returned my smile. “Well, I’m glad you’re back, Sleeps,” he said warmly. “But... are you really sure that’s what happened? I’ve never heard of someone just...  _reincarnating_ like that...”

I gave the slightest of nods. “Yes, Varric, it happened. It _had_ to have happened because it felt like months... Like I was trapped there for months...” I had to close my eyes as fresh tears came. _It was so horrible..._

Varric tried to comfort me by gently rubbing my arm. “Well, if you say it happened, then I believe you, Sleepy.”

I covered my eyes with my hands, cleaning away some more tears. “I _wish_ it hadn't happened... that I had never died, that it _wasn’t_ true...” I said quietly.

“I’m sorry, Anna,” he said, still consolingly rubbing my arm.

I took my hands away from my face and tried my best to smile at him. “At least I’m back,” I replied.

Varric smiled. “Yeah,” he said. He chuckled. “And you somehow fell from the sky again, just like when you first came to Skyhold... and still asleep when you landed!” He shook his head, as if disbelieving his own words. “I had always figured that would be a one-time deal...”

The dwarf met my gaze, and looked almost troubled as he asked me, “Are you always going to do that when you...  _die_?”

I looked around the fortress, smiling as I wiped my eyes again. “I don’t know,” I said, looking back at Varric again. “But I hope it never happens again... It was so horrible...” I said quietly. I involuntarily started to sob again, and Varric comfortingly squeezed my arm again.

“Why don’t I take you somewhere to rest? This all must be very tiring for you...” he suggested.

“No,” I said, shaking my head. “I’ve been resting for way too long. I want to _live_.” I smiled. “I want to see everyone else!” I exclaimed.

Varric grinned. “Okay, Sleepy, whatever you want,” he said, but then suddenly frowned. “Although, I should tell you...”

“What?!” I said, suddenly feeling a bit panicked. Has a new story arc already started?! Some new enemy come to destroy the world (again)?!

“Solas... is also missing,” he told me carefully. “You two were close...”

I nodded, unsure of how to respond. Would Solas want me to keep quiet? I decided to say nothing more, and instead just looked at the ground.

“I’m not sure if you knew, but... well, the Inquisitor told us that he... well, he _knew_ he was going to...” Varric trailed off quietly.

“Die?” I offered, finishing his statement for him. I looked at the dwarf and gave him a thin smile. “I know, he told me... so that’s what I expected.”

Varric gave me a grim nod. “It was pretty shocking when she told us...”

I tried to imagine what the Inquisition would think about Solas dying... Did they mourn him? Hold a special ceremony in his honor? What would they do if they found out he was actually alive?

The two of us started walking around Skyhold so that I could finally see everyone again. We were silent at first, but eventually the storyteller began to update me on the what’s-what. “A lot has changed around here,” Varric explained. He told me the state of the Inquisition... which was basically all that epilogue stuff. Leliana was made Divine... the Wardens...  _yeah, whatever_.

“How’s the Inquisitor?” I asked. _What will_ she _think of me being back?_

He smiled. “She’s doing great.” He leaned towards me. “There are rumors about her and Curly, you know.”

“ _Seriously_?” I asked, surprised. “Well, good for her.” _She really did move on..._

He smiled. “Everyone is gonna be _surprised_ to see you, Sleepy.”

I clapped him on the shoulder, feeling more excited by the minute. “I can’t wait!” I sang.

We first walked to the tavern, just as a certain Qunari was popping his horned head out. “Hey Tiny, look who it is!” Varric shouted at him.

Iron Bull froze, taking me in from head to toe. He laughed. “Anna?!” he said, and he gave me a huge hug that literally lifted me off the ground. “I can’t believe it... Dorian is gonna lose his shit when he finds out _you’re_ alive.” He set me down, patting me on the back. “What happened to you, anyway, kid?”

“She _died_ ,” Varric explained for me.

Bull narrowed his eye confusedly. “Wait... is she now just some spirit... thing?” He took a small step away from me.

“Honestly, I’m not that sure...” Varric eyed me a little. “But she said she died, and went to some really bad place, and then suddenly landed here from the sky again, and is somehow alive...” He shook his head. “I know it _sounds_ unbelievable, but she seems like Sleepy, and... I believe her.”

I nodded along with Varric’s explanation, happy that at least _he_ believed me. My story _did_ sound crazy, but it was the truth, so what could I say?

“I _am_ me,” I decided to tell them. “I know I died, but somehow, I’m alive again... and I don’t want to think about why.” _But it has to be Solas_. Our strange dream-connection that brought me from one realm to the next...  _Yeah, it was totally that hobo._

“But, kid, people don’t just die and come back to life... unless there’s a powerful magic involved...” Bull reasoned warily.

“I know,” I said quietly, staring down at the ground. My eyes were tearing up again, but this time from the fear of what they were thinking. _What will they do to me to find out what happened?_

“Well, let’s just leave it alone for now,” Varric said, putting a hand on my arm again. “She’s been through a lot, and we can work it out later,” he suggested.

Bull nodded, although he seemed quite hesitant now. “I’ll let Dorian know...” he said as he turned to leave.

“Tell him to meet us in the grand hall!” Varric called after him. He looked up at me. “Are you hungry, Sleeps? Why don’t we reintroduce you to everyone over a nice meal?”

I nodded with a small smile. “Sounds good to me.”

Both of us headed to the hall, and somehow word got around that I was back. As we sat down at one of the tables, companions flooded in left and right, all shocked by my sudden appearance.

Varric was kind enough to tell my story for me, as it was difficult to constantly repeat my _“I died”_ spiel. I became so happy though, and I would continuously start to cry, the emotion of finally being home overwhelming me. I was back, I was alive, I could _move_... I was home.

Cassandra even wrapped her arms around me, she was so overjoyed. “Oh, Anna! I was certain you had died!” she exclaimed.

“Well, she _did_ die, Seeker, she just... somehow... reincarnated,” Varric explained, slightly uneasy. The more he said it, the more he seemed to question it himself.

“Reincarnated?!” Cassandra said, suddenly very cautious. “How can that be?” she whispered, releasing me from her arms and stepping away.

I sighed. How could I seriously explain this? Everyone was getting more suspicious by the minute... “I really don’t know how, Cassandra. But I feel lucky to be alive, and just want to be happy with that...” I said.

Varric nodded as he sat beside me. “Yes, let’s just let Sleepy relax a little for now. She’s been through a lot.”

Cassandra gave a slight nod of agreement, but was overall quite anxious.

All the companions eventually gathered in the hall, giving me hugs and amazed expressions. At Varric’s request, they all kept quiet about my strange rebirth, but I could tell the questions were bubbling up inside them.

We all ate together as if it were an average day, though, and they started telling me updates about their lives. I was starting to feel normal again, like none of that crazy stuff had happened to me, like I hadn’t been trapped in my own body for what felt like an eternity.

Sera was telling me about some new pranks she had pulled on Blackwall, and I started laughing when the burly warrior rolled his eyes at her description of the antics. _I’m really here again_. I was back in Thedas with the Inquisition, where I belonged.

As I sat there, smiling dumbly from my absolute glee at being in Skyhold again, a hand touched my shoulder that made me jump.

“You really have returned,” Lavellan said, smiling down at me from her standing position. She sat down in a seat beside me. “It’s good to see you again, Anna.” _Was it?_

“Annie actually _died_ , can you believe that, Inky?” Sera said loudly. “It’s pretty creepy though...” she added quietly, averting her eyes downward.

Lavellan quirked an eyebrow and tilted her head curiously. “How is that possible?” she asked me.

I felt extremely nervous then, now that I was under the Inquisitor’s... well, _inquiry_. The more I thought about it, the clearer it became that my return was definitely because of Solas. It was my dream with him that had brought me back, but that was so unusual, no one would believe me if I said it... right? How could I logically explain this impossible situation? The panic made my heart race, and I immediately thought of them turning against me in fear... thinking I was a demon or something...

“You’re not a demon,” Cole said suddenly, appearing on the other side of the table. He looked at Lavellan with his usual glazed expression. “Her love brought her back...” he explained _(??)_ to her.

I felt my eyes widen from his telepathic outburst. _Shiiiiiit..._

Cole seemed completely unfazed from my worry, and he continued to speak to Lavellan, who was listening with rapt attention. “He was looking, longing, lamenting... but it was in dreams he found her.”

“Who?” the Inquisitor asked, highly perplexed from the spirit’s words.

“Solas,” he breathed, and a hush fell over the table at the mention of his name.

Lavellan shook her head, white hair swishing gently around her face. “No, Cole, he’s...” She eyed me with concern, not wanting to say it aloud.

“He’s alive,” Cole contended. “He brought her back, through worlds and wonders... until she woke here again.”

“Solas is alive?” Lavellan whispered. Her eyes were shining as much as her lips when she looked to me again. “And he brought you back to life?” She was awed.

I shrugged anxiously. _It’s all out in the open now, anyway..._  “I’m not sure, but... I _did_ have a dream about him... after I had died,” I explained quietly, feeling nervous. “I know that doesn’t make sense, but when I died, I woke up in some other place, where I was still conscious, but... trapped.” I looked around the table, and _everybody_ was silent and staring at me. “And... I had a dream with Solas in it... and then I woke up here.”

Everyone was quiet a few moments, waiting for me to say more. “Well, shit, Sleepy,” Varric said in disbelief. “Chuckles is alive, and he brought you back to life, too?”

“That’s some crazy shit, kid,” Bull rumbled.

“Baldy can bring people back from the _dead_?” Sera said in horror. She turned to Dorian, who was seated a few chairs away. “Thought that was _your_ deal, Dorian,” she said to him.

Dorian’s mouth was slightly hanging agape when he shook his head. “I have never seen necromancy that causes people to fall from the sky, _reincarnated..._ ” He stared at me, looking baffled.

“She’s different,” Cole said. “She comes from elsewhere... another world, another realm. But it was him... he brought her here, and he brought her back again.” He turned his gaze to mine. “Their spirits are connected.”

What? _Our spirits are connected??_ Was that why I had landed in Skyhold in the first place, all those many months ago?

“Their spirits are connected?” Lavellan repeated. “I’ve never heard of something like that...” She looked at me with a furrowed brow, completely bewildered. “Why didn’t you tell us this before, Cole?” she asked the spirit.

“You didn’t want to be told,” he answered cryptically.

“Do you think he will return to the Inquisition?” she wondered.

“He goes where she goes,” Cole said quietly. The companions all looked at me, eyebrows raised.

Iron Bull spoke before anyone else. “Yeah,” he said in his deep voice, “I think that’s a safe bet.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that I took so long for this chapter! I knew where I wanted to go, just not how to get there O_o
> 
> BUT! Out of my frustration, I did some illustration instead :P. Ya'll can [check it out here](http://ithesalesman.tumblr.com/post/118229553179/sometimes-im-like-hey-if-youre-going-to-obsess) if you wanna, cuz it's all about Solas XD


	65. Spirited Away

“I can’t believe he’s still alive,” Lavellan said quietly, staring off into the distance.

I didn’t know what to say. Had she only been over him because she thought he was dead? Did she want him back now?

She looked downwards towards a plate of food she had yet to touch. I peeked at her through my peripheral, uncertain of what I should say to her. Her face was still bare of _vallaslin_ , a constant reminder of his leaving.

“I’m happy for you,” she said softly after a few moments. Lavellan turned her gaze on me then, giving me a small smile. “I hope he does come back...” She picked up a fork and tentatively started moving the food around her plate. “... for you,” she added.

I looked back at my own meal and quickly shoveled some potatoes into my mouth. _Awkward_. This was _really_ awkward.

“I should probably be thanking you, Anna,” Lavellan said, commanding my attention again.

My eyes shifted nervously to her. “Thank me? For what?” I asked apprehensively. I could not imagine her thanking me for anything. Only punishing. Fighting. Punches and slaps? Yeah, that sounded more appropriate.

She took another drink of wine, and, staring somewhere in the distance absent-mindedly, she casually said, “For breaking me and Solas up.”

“What?!” I exclaimed, my eyes widening in horror. “No, I had nothing to do with that! I mean, I was the one who _told_ him to get back together with you,” I rambled, trying to explain my good intentions.

She shook her head. “You don’t have to hide it from me, Anna. I’ve already known for a while. I mean, he even _said_ he loved you.”

“ _What_?” I asked, my mouth stupidly hanging open. _He said WHAT?!_

Lavellan shrugged, pushing some vegetables around the plate with her fork. “He tried to say you were just a friend, but it was obvious... and it’s always _been_ obvious. The way you guys act together...” she trailed off suggestively.

“I swear to you, I was _not_ the reason,” I argued.

She turned her teal gaze on me again. “So _I_ was just the problem then?” she asked.

 _Shit_. I found myself at a loss for words, and feeling a little guilty. It wasn’t Lavellan fault... it was Solas’ true identity and his mission. But I couldn’t tell her that, so what _could_ I say?

She laughed after a few moments of my silence. “Relax, Anna, I’m just messing with you.” She smiled at me. “Whatever the reason was, I’m glad it happened.”

I was surprised to find no disdain in her eyes. “You are?” I asked, taken aback.

“Yes...” she began, tilting her head gently. “I was so caught up in getting his approval, in trying to make him love me... I never saw what was right in front of me, what was _real_.” She looked lovingly at Cullen, who was seated at another table. “I never would have had _him_ , someone who truly loves me, who is honest and tells me everything, good or bad.” She looked at me again, still smiling. “Someone I can really share my life with.”

Her confession hurt my heart a bit to hear. It really was unfair how Solas had treated her, although I could hardly blame him for guarding his secrets. But she was content now, and in love, it seemed, so it was really better than I had hoped. “I’m happy you and Cullen found each other,” I said, trying my best to smile.

She returned a smile, and we both continued to eat. As I sat there, eating some meat off my plate, I heard some of the companions whispering about Solas being alive.

I knew they wanted to ask me what I knew, but they kept quiet. The others knew how much I had been through, so they were giving me some space... for now.

What would Solas say? _I wish he were here_. When would I see him again?

And...  _when did he tell Lavellan he loved me???_ Was it before he even told _me_? Hearing Lavellan say that was shocking. Why would he tell her?

I had so many questions for that hobo, but no idea when I would be able to ask him. I would need to dream of painting in the rotunda again to meet him, but I had absolutely _no_ confidence in my ability to do that.

“I can help,” Cole said from a few seats away, where he must have been mind-eavesdropping. “Help find him in the Fade. It’s easier for me.”

I nodded from across the table. “Thanks, Cole,” I said quietly (trying not to draw attention).

“I do hope you find Solas soon,” Dorian said, obviously having heard the exchange. “Because we _all_ have questions for him.”

I averted my eyes to my meal, not wanting to acknowledge his comment. _This is really bad_. Too many questions around Solas would only show the many vague holes in his apostate story.

I hoped he would have a plan. Because _I_ sure didn’t.

 

*****

 

“So, if I go to sleep, will you just come into my dreams or something?” I asked Cole.

The both of us stood in Solas’ study, surrounded by his many paintings. I noticed he never even started the final one. There was no image of a wolf standing over a fallen dragon. Had I prevented him somehow?

“Yes,” Cole replied. “I can find you, find him. Direct your dreams.”

“We said we would meet in a specific memory, Cole,” I explained. “Of us painting in this room together.”

Cole nodded, his big hat flopping. “He knows. He will dream of it tonight. He hopes to hold you again.”

“How do you know all this stuff, Cole?” I asked curiously. “How can you hear him from so far away?”

The spirit gave me he usual glassy-eyed look. “I hear his hurt through you.”

“Through me?” I asked, lifting a pointed finger to my chest.

Cole turned his head suddenly as if he heard a noise. “He’s asleep now. I can find him.”

“Oh shit, already??” _Geez, that old man sleeps early_. “Okay, let me get to sleep then.”

I lied down on the sofa then, trying to get myself comfortable. It had been so long since I was last on this thing, and it was _super_ dusty, having had no elf-god here to clean it for months. I tried to relax, rolling to my side, but excitement from seeing him again was too overwhelming.

Cole stood nearby, waiting, and that certainly didn’t help. In fact, it was kind of creepy, and pressuring, making it even harder to fall asleep.

“I can leave until you dream,” Cole said quietly. “If that’s easier.” He disappeared before I could answer.

As I lied there, I thought about the details of the memory, thinking of as many as possible. There were butterflies in my stomach as I thought about seeing him, and I couldn’t stop smiling.

Would he smile and kiss me? Hug and hold me? What would he say? I couldn’t wait to hear his voice again. _Gah_. I had to sleep.

Eventually, I did. It took a while, at least an hour, but I finally drifted off into Fade-land.

 

*****

 

“Pass the salt, Anna,” my father asked. My parents and I were sitting at their dining room table, eating a meal. I passed the salt shaker to him and continued eating my meal.

“So, how's school, Anna?” my mother asked.

I shrugged. “Fine.”

“Do you like your classes?” my dad asked.

I sighed. “Yeah, I guess.”

My parents both looked at each other, annoyance clearly on their features. They turned to me, brows furrowed and mouths open, ready to scold like there was no tomorrow.

“He’s here. He heard you. You didn’t need my help,” another voice said.

“ _Vhenan_ ,” he breathed.

I blinked a few times. _Where am I?_ A dream. This was a dream.

I turned my gaze from my parents to two figures standing a few feet away. It was Solas and Cole, just to my left and looking exactly as they always did.

“ _Solas_ ,” I said, a smile spreading on my face. I hopped up from my seat to meet him. Just a few steps, and I was there, our arms instantly encircling each other.

“I immediately sensed your presence in the Fade, _vhenan_ ,” he whispered into my ear, his arms still surrounding me. “You really have returned.”

“I came to help, but she didn’t need me,” Cole said.

Solas released me to look towards the spirit. “Thank you, Cole. It is good to see you again.”

“Your hurt is much quieter now.” Cole looked at the two of us. “I will help others now.”

“Wait!” I exclaimed, stopping him. “I wanted to ask you... what did you mean when you said ‘our spirits are connected’?”

“Your songs sing the same. They synchronize, support, shape to each other... I haven’t seen it before... not like this, not like you,” he remarked.

“Are you referring to Anna’s spirit?” Solas asked with a raised brow.

“Yes,” Cole answered. “And yours.”

Solas inclined his head in intrigue. “We are connected?”

“Neither of you know, yet you act like you know, but you don’t, and that makes it more,” the spirit said ambiguously.

“What do you mean?? Makes what more?” I asked.

Cole glanced between the two of us before replying, “Twin souls. Two spirits, one heart, together whole.”

Solas hummed as he contemplated Cole’s words. “I never thought it possible,” he said after a while. “For my soul to have such a tie... I thought I would be forever alone.” He smiled at me. “But it does explain much.”

“Like what?” I wondered.

He smiled. “I was inexplicably drawn to you, even upon our first meeting. I felt I knew you somehow, something recognizable. And the feeling was always there, although I could not correctly place it.” He tenderly touched my face. “My heart. You were simply my heart.”

“You really felt that?” I asked, my hands on his waist. “Even when we first met?”

He chuckled. “Yes,” he replied, leaning in close with a smile. “Undoubtedly.”

I smiled back, feeling my cheeks warm a little. “But... how can this be possible? How can we be connected when we come from different realms?”

“Spirits aren’t bound to worlds, not like people,” Cole explained. “Crossing and climbing through curtains... No concerns, no confines.”

“Even through separate realms...” Solas remarked, meeting my gaze again. “Fascinating.”

Cole gave a small nod. “Spirits born together, but then hers left.” He smiled beneath his big floppy hat. “It’s righted now. Reunited and returned.”

“Born together?” Solas raised both his eyebrows. “Are you suggesting that Anna’s spirit originated from this world, Cole?”

“Yes, but she wandered away,” he replied.

“ _Really_?” I asked. “I’m _supposed_ to be in Thedas?!”

It made sense... the way I never felt like I belonged, and only dreamed of being elsewhere... I looked at Solas again, taking his hands in mine. I was meant to be here, with him. He was my home, my center. “I can't wait to be together again,” I said, pulling him closer.

“You are in Skyhold, I presume?” Solas asked me.

“Yes,” I answered, nodding.

He smiled warmly, placing a hand on my cheek. “I will come for you as soon as I can, Anna.”

I hugged him, barely able to contain my excitement... But then I noticed how the dining room around us was melting away. I quickly turned my gaze back to Solas. “When will you get here??” I quickly asked.

“A few days, _vhenan_.” He gently raised my chin to kiss me, but I woke up before I was even able to feel it.


	66. And it feels so good...

In the next few days, I easily fell back into the routine of Skyhold life. It was nice being in the fortress again, even if they still didn’t have flushing toilets.

I started sleeping in Solas' old room instead of my own. He had left most of his belongings there, mainly books and various notes on his research. It was nice to be around his things, and his mural of Arlathan still remained on the wall. I would fall asleep staring at it, wondering if there would ever be another city in the clouds again.

Solas visited me in the Fade every night, and I told him about the Inquisition expecting his return. I needed to warn him about how suspicious they were about his disappearance, so he could prepare a story. He had little concern, however, and assured me not to worry. I still felt uneasy though, now that I didn’t know the future. Who knows how they would react to his excuses? Thedosians could be so... _distrustful_.

It was strange to think that _I_ could have been born in Thedas, living like a local. I wondered if I were meant to be an elf, or if I _could_ have been one at least. Maybe I would have been raised in a Dalish clan like Lavellan, brought up to believe Fen’Harel was evil.

Or maybe I would have just been a human, killed from a demon that sprung out of a rift. _Hmmm_.

But it was somewhat upsetting to think that I would never return to the other world... never see my parents or my friends again...

I walked up the steps of the rotunda tower, seeking out a certain Tevinter. Once I reached the top, I was surprised to find Dorian _and_ Iron Bull there together, sitting on some chairs in that little nook. They were in quiet discussion, with books lying open on their laps.

“Hey,” I greeted. “What are you guys up to?”

“Oh, hello, Anna,” Dorian acknowledged. “Bull and I were only debating the likeness of me becoming Ben-Hassrath. _If_ I were raised in Par Vollen, that is.”

I laughed. “You? A spy?” I sat on the floor near the pair, since there were no other seats available. I pictured Dorian in a skin-tight black jumpsuit, gun in hand, like I had seen in action movies. “I don’t think the world could handle it.”

“Oh, yes,” Dorian said, smiling and relaxing back into his chair. “With my charms, all of Thedas would be helpless against me.”

“But to become a Ben-Hassrath, one must actually pay attention to _other people_ , Dorian,” Bull said. “As in, _not_ just yourself.”

Dorian rolled his eyes. “Oh, please, Bull. Any enemy would be so enchanted, I would simply need to smile and he would spill all his secrets.”

I laughed. “His suaveness would get them every time!”

Iron Bull smiled, shaking his head a bit. “What did you come here for, anyway, kid?” he asked me.

“Well...” I replied, somewhat hesitantly. “I wanted to talk to Dorian about something... but I might as well talk to both of you.”

Dorian perked an eyebrow. “What is it, Anna?”

I hummed, trying to find the right words. “Do you ever plan on returning home?” I finally asked.

The men looked at each other briefly, brows raised, before turning their gazes on me again.

“ _Eventually_ , yes,” Dorian answered, angling his head to the side as if uncertain. “But not for a while,” he added thoughtfully.

I nodded, pressing my lips together in contemplation.

“I can’t return to Par Vollen as a Tal-Vashoth,” Bull said flatly. “I’d be killed.” He shrugged as if it didn’t bother him in the least.

“Does that make you sad?” I asked him.

“It was always a risk as Ben-Hassrath living abroad, so I had accepted the possibility a long time ago,” Bull explained. “There are people I miss, I guess... but I have Krem and the Chargers, and the Inquisition now, too.” He briefly glanced at Dorian. “They’re family, and I would miss them more if I ever went back.”

Dorian smiled, reaching his hand over to give Bull’s a squeeze. He turned his attention back to me. “Why do you ask, Anna?”

I looked at the ground, picking up a random book that was near Dorian’s chair. “Well... I’ve just realized that I can never go back home... to where I was raised, that is.” I shrugged. “It makes me a little sad.”

“Why don’t you think you can ever go back?” Bull asked gently.

I didn’t feel like explaining. “For various reasons,” I answered ambiguously.

“It was difficult for me at first when I left the Imperium. Southerners were so different from my countrymen... and many did not take kindly to a Tevinter mage,” Dorian confessed. “I learned to be cautious of everyone because of all the prejudice... It wasn’t easy.” He paused a moment, twisting one of the sides of his mustache in his fingers. “But now that I’m with the Inquisition... and an international _hero_ , mind you... Well, it’s certainly more comfortable.”

“Do you miss home, though?” I asked him.

“I miss certain Tevinter delicacies... and the cultural acceptance of mages,” he replied, looking somewhere in the distance. “But I had few friends there, and the ones I _did_ call friends were not even close to the relationships I’ve formed in the Inquisition.’ He looked down at me again. “It was challenging to adjust, but once I passed the initial discomfort, I found myself quite happy here... happier than I ever was in the Imperium.”

I nodded, humming in acknowledgement.

“You should always look to the future, kid,” Bull advised. “Where you come from will always be a part of you, but where you go next, who you meet... they’ll be a part of you, too. So even if you can’t go back, keep your memories and hold them proudly because they’re what made you. And always remember to move forward and push on, because you never know what could be waiting next.”

 _The future..._  I smiled. “Thanks,” I said. “I’m glad I have you guys.”

“As are we, Anna,” Dorian said warmly.

“You guys really have become like family to me,” I said a bit shyly. “I’m happy to be back in Skyhold again.”

“Good to hear, Anna,” Iron Bull replied. “This place was just too quiet without you.”

Just then, the Inquisitor came running up the stairs, her teal eyes bright with excitement. “ _Solas_ ,” she said eagerly, “is _back_.”

I stood immediately. “Where?!” I asked desperately.

“He was just spotted by the guardsmen at the gate!” Lavellan exclaimed. She covered her mouth, realizing how loud her voice had gotten. “Dorian,” she said in a giggling whisper, “he has _hair_.”

Dorian shot up as well. “I _have_ to see this for myself.”

I didn’t waste a second, and was soon bounding down the tower steps as fast as I could. Lavellan and Dorian trailed behind after.

“I’ll catch up with you guys later,” Iron Bull called after us, chuckling a little.

I kept hopping down the steps, not even turning around to see if anyone followed. “You don’t have to run _that_ fast, Anna!” Lavellan shouted, laughing at me as she and Dorian tried to keep up. _Shut your mouth, Quizzy! SOLAS IS BACK!!_

I flew past Varric, but was too fast to hear the comment he made. Nothing was going to slow me down. _I’m finally going to see him again._

When I finally reached the long stretch of bridge that expanded out the Skyhold gates, I paused. There he was, walking towards me by foot. I smiled, barely able to contain my delight. I ran as quickly as I could, and with every footstep, his smile only became larger.

I crashed into him, throwing my arms around his torso, and he lifted me into the air. “Anna,” he said, holding me close. “ _Vhenan_.”

I felt so overcome that there were tears in my eyes. “ _Solas_ ,” I said happily. I looked at him, laughing in disbelief. “Your _hair_!”

His hair had grown, and it was hanging handsomely around his face in auburn locks. It was only a few inches long, really, but it really transformed his face. I touched a bit that was swept across his forehead.

Solas smiled. As I met his gaze again, I felt my heart start to pound. I had missed him so much. I leaned in to kiss him, but an awkward coughing stopped me.

The both of us turned our heads to Dorian and Lavellan, who had finally caught up and were standing there, stiffly watching us. Solas set me down on the bridge again, but he didn’t entirely let me go, catching hold of my hand.

“Solas,” Lavellan greeted with a small smile, her lips shining brightly in the sunlight. “You’ve returned.”

He smiled back, nodding a little. “Inquisitor.” He didn’t say anything else, but the look between them made it seem like they had some sort of silent communication, an agreement of amicability.

“You certainly look different, Solas,” Dorian commented. “Where did the unwashed hobo go?” He quirked an eyebrow, somewhat suspicious.

Solas laughed. It was then that I noticed he wasn’t wearing his normal outfit. He was actually dressed kind of...  _nice_. He still had his wolf pelt, and a tunic on, but it was spun from a much richer, deep green material. The seams were even stitched with a gold thread that made little leaf patterns in his high-necked collar. Even his vest was fancier... What was this wolf thinking?? The three of us looked at him expectantly.

“I have been travelling in Antiva,” he answered vaguely.

We all blinked at him a bit, waiting for more. When I realized that was _all_ he was going to explain, I thought a distraction might be necessary. “I’m so happy you’re back! Let’s go eat and catch up with everyone!” I exclaimed. _It’s about lunchtime, anyway, right?_

Lavellan shook her head. “I wish I could, but unfortunately, I have some meetings to attend.”

“ _I_ , however, am still available,” Dorian said. “And I have quite a few _questions_ for you, Solas.”

The elf nodded. “I am looking forward to it, Dorian,” he answered, probably a bit too sternly.

The four of us walked back to the main hall in Skyhold, garnering several pointed looks and surprised whispers along the way. Some onlookers didn’t even recognize Solas, but who could really blame them, since he looked so different and all.

Along the way, I felt something brush my cheek, a sensation that felt familiar... I looked up towards Solas, and he smiled at me. It was his aura, a gentle caress.

As we walked, his aura continued to graze my skin, caressing my forehead, my nose, my lips...

“Do you _mind_?” Dorian said suddenly. “You _know_ , there are other mages here who can _sense_ what you are doing.”

I instantly felt my face flush red, but Solas said nothing and simply retreated his magic. I would have thought that he would be more careful with his... public displays of magic-affection. Luckily, neither Dorian nor Lavellan mentioned it again, saving me from further embarrassment. _Sigh_.

The Inquisitor broke away from our group once we reached the hall. “Don’t want to keep Josie waiting!” she said brightly. “I’ll stop by later for a chat, okay, Solas?” she suggested.

He nodded with a small smile. The remaining three of us sat down at one of the tables then, and Varric quickly joined us. “ _Chuckles?!_ ” he shouted. “Is that really you?”

And soon word had spread all throughout the Inquisition, and all the available companions came to greet the hobo-god.

“Baldy’s not bald ‘nymore?” Sera asked.

“You owe me a sovereign, Varric,” Iron Bull smirked. “He thought you were dead,” he said, jabbing a thumb at the dwarf.

“Well, he just _disappeared_ without saying anything, and it’s been _months_ ,” the dwarf explained defensively.

“I didn’t know it could _grow_ ,” Cole wondered. “I liked when it was shiny.”

“I must agree with Dorian. Your ensemble is vastly improved, Solas, dear,” Vivienne remarked.

The Seeker remained tight-lipped, unsure of what to say. When she finally opened her mouth to speak, an outraged red head cut her off instead.

“ _Where_ have you been?!” Leliana demanded. “I had my scouts scour Ferelden _and_ Orlais for you, yet nothing could be found!” She placed her palms on the table, leaning in towards the two of us. “I demand answers.” Obviously, she had taken the failure in not finding him to heart.

“I was looking for Anna,” Solas lied. Well, it was _mostly_ a lie.

The spymaster narrowed her eyes. “ _Why_ didn’t you look with the Inquisition forces? Why did you leave by yourself?”

“I thought it would be more efficient to travel alone,” he said coolly, taking a sip of water. “They would have only slowed me down.”

Leliana rolled her eyes. “That is completely illogical.”

Solas sighed. “I will admit, I was not in the best mindset. After the defeat of Corypheus, I went to join the rest of the Inquisition, but Anna could not be found. I feared she might have perished, but refused to accept it as truth, so I instantly left in search of her.” He looked Leliana straight in the eye. “It was not the smartest course of action, but I was distraught.”

The elf looked quite grim about it, and everyone got very quiet from the “confession.” Fen’Harel was certainly an excellent trickster.

Leliana still had her eyes narrowed on him, searching his face for tells of a lie. “Do warn us if you ever decide to run off again,” she said after a moment, although she still seemed quite skeptical.

Solas inclined his head in agreement.

“Well, that sounds a hell of lot more believable than _Sleepy’s_ story,” Varric commented.

“Hey!” I protested. “I was telling the truth! I really _did_ die and end up in a horrible place, only to wake up in Skyhold again...” _Yeah, that sounds like a straight-up lie_.

Varric laughed. “I didn’t say I didn’t believe it, Sleeps, just that it _sounds_ unbelievable.” He smiled at me. “No one would ever believe the crazy shit that happens in this Inquisition,” he said, shaking his head. “I could never publish it.”

I gasped. “No, Varric! You totally should! And make sure you mention me! You can use my real name and everything, I give you _full_ permission!” I nodded my head enthusiastically.

The dwarf shook his head, chuckling. “I’ll think about it, Sleepy.”

“Why Antiva?” Dorian asked curiously, changing the conversation back to the wolf’s mysterious story.

Solas took another sip, remaining completely calm. “I eventually gave up searching for Anna, and thought I might continue my travels. Alone,” he added pointedly. “I had never been to Antiva before, and thought to explore the Fade there.”

Sera rolled her eyes. “Still as _boring_ as eva, Not-Baldy.”

I snickered a little at that one. Solas raised a brow at the noise, but he looked down at me and smiled. He had still been holding my hand this entire time, and he gave it a little squeeze.

“I am pleased you came back,” Cassandra finally said. “For Anna’s sake.”

Solas looked at her and smiled, but didn’t say anything.

“So are we going to drink, or what?” Bull suggested.

“Yes!” I said, standing suddenly. Solas was a bit alarmed from the movement, as I had jerked his hand up with me. “To the tavern!” I declared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In other exciting news, I was finally able to lower Gurlll's lip shine to 0 in the Black Emporium (in my irl DA:I lol)... it was just wayyy too shiny....


	67. Nas’falon

I started pushing everyone to get up and go, and we all headed to the Herald’s Rest (although I wasn’t sure if all were _willingly_ doing so). A few of the companions stared at me and Solas holding hands, but I didn’t give them time to remark. _Let’s gooo!_

“Cabot, look! Solas is back!” I said pointing to my hobo.

The dwarf only looked me deadpan in the eye, frowning with complete uncaring.

“Heh,” I said awkwardly. “Can I get two wines? And like, _good_ wines?”

Cabot continued to glare at me, but he did as I requested. Solas dropped some coin into the dwarf’s palm, and we walked to a table together.

“Hey!” Sera shouted. “Aren’t you getting us _all_ drinks?” she asked indignantly.

I raised a brow. “Say _what_? I’m not your mother, Sera.”

Iron Bull laughed at my jab. “This round’s on me!” he said, and the companions cheered. Our group settled into some tables, pushing them together to make one giant surface. I sat next to Solas (obvs) and the others were seated around us.

The tavern was warm, and the bard stood in her usual spot, singing about Grey Wardens. Everyone was jolly and happy, and my wine _did_ taste pretty good. I shifted closer to Solas, wrapping an arm around his. _Sigh_. Everything felt finally right again.

“So,” Sera started, meeting my gaze. “You two are together, then? You’re all in it and shite?” she asked, a hint of repulsion in her tone. She turned to Lavellan. “How does Inky feel ‘bout that?”

The Inquisitor gave a polite smile, inclining her head slightly to acknowledge the question. “I’m perfectly fine with it,” she assured.

“Are you really?” Sera asked. “Is that ‘cos you got Cully-Wully or whateva? That blondy, puppy-eyed wanker?”

“I’m sitting right _here_ , Sera,” Cullen chided, highly aggravated. “I can _hear_ you.”

“I was _talkin’_ to Inky,” Sera said with an exasperated eye-roll. She turned her gaze back to Lavellan. “You really alright?”

She nodded, taking a sip of her beverage. “ _Yes_ , Sera,” she answered, leaning towards Cullen. “You don’t have to worry.”

“Well, if _I_ don’t, then who else will?” Sera argued indignantly. “No one else is saying ‘nything _‘bout_ it!”

“I should think _I_ am one to worry after her,” Cullen countered, appearing quite agitated. “But there is an appropriate place and time to _voice_ them...” he muttered under his breath.

“ _Appropriate_ ,” she snorted, clearly hearing his remark. “If everyone wos as ‘appropriate’ as you, then _nobody’d_ ever talk to each other.”

“I’m really okay!” Lavellan exclaimed, holding both her hands up to silence the two. “They’re happy, I’m happy... Can we drop it now?” She relaxed back in her chair with a huff.

“I never said I was happy,” I said rather bluntly, causing the entire table to look my way. One corner of my mouth curved up deviously. “And I won’t be, until I see _you_ singing.” I directed a finger at Lavellan. “The bard is finishing up, so why don’t you sing something, Inquisitor?”

“ _Me_?” she asked, surprised. “I’m no singer, Anna... and I thought that was _your_ forte.”

“Ha!” I laughed. “Not in the _least_. I’m a _terrible_ singer.”

“I disagree,” Solas said quietly beside me.

Dorian laughed. “Do you have roses in your ears, Solas? You _have_ heard Anna sing, have you not?”

“She is unpracticed, but there is still a natural talent that need only be honed,” he defended calmly.

“You seem to know quite a bit about singing, Solas,” Lavellan said with a coy smile. “Why don’t _you_ sing?” she asked smugly, relaxing back into her chair.

Sera started giggling profusely in her chair, clutching her sides. “Elfy can’t _sing_!”

I couldn’t imagine Solas singing, although his voice _was_ quite melodic... “ _Hahren_ , you should do it!” I encouraged.

“Is that what you wish, Anna?” he asked me in a low voice.

I smiled, whispering quietly to him, “Well, only if you want to.”

“Is standing required?” he asked, quite seriously now.

I laughed. “No, of course not!”

He hummed a little, shifting a bit in his seat. _Is he actually going to do it?!_ I released his arm to give him more space, but still held on to his hand.

Solas sat up straighter in his chair, clearing his throat a bit. “I heard this song in the Fade,” he explained, eyeing me with a smile. “I thought it quite a beautiful elvhen melody.”

And then without any further introduction, he began,

_“Ma lean, ma nydha_  
_Ma leala ar’malen.”_

Every syllable of the elven words was drawn out in lengthy notes. I didn’t recognize the melody, but it was slow and beautiful, a lovely ballad. I supposed I should not have been as surprised as I was when I actually heard him sing. Solas had many talents (as to be expected from a nine- _thousand_ -year-old elf), but when I heard him singing like this, sitting in a little wooden chair and surrounded by the Inquisition... it was like he was being completely honest and open with them all.

_“Ma ladarathe, ma’nu_  
_Derama fan’isala.”_

The tavern was completely silent as everyone listened, watching him intently. Solas seemed very focused on his singing, staring at some point before him. He lifted a hand in the air to emphasize a certain word (although I had no idea what _any_ of his lyrics meant), and little orbs of white light emerged from his fingertips.

They danced around his palm for a moment before gently flying into the air to make rhythmic patterns before him. He watched them, never stopping the song, and they moved along to his words.

 _“_ _Banal’eolasa ma’ir’isala.”_

The magical lights dimmed into nothing as he finished the melody. Every person silently stared at him, disbelieving that Solas singing had actually happened.

“I’ve never heard that song before,” Lavellan commented softly. “It was beautiful.”

“Thank you,” Solas said with a small bow of his head. “It is an old song from the time of Elvhenan, lost to time... I have seen spirits sing it on countless occasions among my journeys in the Fade.”

“You are an excellent singer, Solas,” Josephine praised, looking quite impressed.

“Did you learn how to sing in the Fade, too?” Iron Bull laughed.

The wolf smiled, but the entire table became very quiet, feeling awkward after witnessing such an unusually earnest moment from Solas.

“May I speak to you privately, Solas?” Lavellan asked suddenly. “Outside,” she said, gesturing towards the door with her head and standing. _Why did Lavellan want to talk to him alone??_

“Of course, Inquisitor,” Solas said with a nod, and he stood immediately, breaking our hands apart. He gave me a quick smile before following her out the door.

I watched the door close behind him, and when I turned back to the group, _everyone_ was staring at me with suggestive looks and raised eyebrows.

“What?” I asked.

“Nothing,” Dorian said with a smirk. His eyes flickered towards Cullen. “Nothing at all.”

The remaining companions sat there for a little while, but it was getting late, and slowly they drifted off one by one, heading to their respective quarters. Solas and Lavellan were still talking outside (or _wherever_ they were), and I was starting to get a bit...  _nervous_. Why was their discussion taking so long?

Soon it was only Cullen and I left, and we sat across each other in uncomfortable silence. The Commander would continuously scratch his neck, periodically looking at the door. “What do you think they’re talking about?” he asked me after a while.

“Dunno,” I said, shrugging. “Elf stuff?” It was then that I realized that both Cullen and I were humans in relationships with elves. The thought was somewhat humorous to me, and I wondered how much Dalish culture Cullen was actually knowledgeable of.  _Hmmmm_.

“So anyway,” I said, leaning closer to him over the table. “Who made the first move?” I asked with an arched brow and grin.

“E-excuse me?” Cullen stammered, clearly thrown off-guard.

“How did you guys get together?” I explained. “Who kissed who? Come on, Cullen, give me details!”

“Ah,” he said, noticeably uncomfortable. “That’s... rather private.”

I nodded, slouching into my chair again. “Well, that’s fair. I wouldn’t want to push you...” _Shy Cully-Wully._ I glanced at the door. No one. The tavern was completely empty now, too, with only Cabot and a few of his employees cleaning up. The dwarf narrowed his gaze on the two of us, obviously annoyed that we were still here.

But I was still waiting for Solas. And Cullen was waiting for Lavellan. So Cabot would have to wait for us. _Sorry, dude_.

“Do you know any Elvish?” I asked the Commander, trying to keep a conversation going.

Both his brows raised. “I cannot say I do,” he admitted.

I smiled. “I can teach you some phrases... You can surprise the Inquisitor with it! I’m sure she’d like it,” I suggested enthusiastically.

“What sort of phrases?” Cullen asked, suddenly intrigued.

“Like _ar lath ma_ ,” I offered.

“ _Arrr lathh maa_ ,” he repeated slowly. “What does that mean?”

I grinned. “I love you! It means ‘I love you,’ ” I explained.

Cullen became very red then, a blush covering his entire face. “Ah... uh, well, I shall try to remember it,” he replied. “Thank you.”

I nodded, and we both looked at the door simultaneously. “I am going to check on them,” Cullen said, eyes still trained on the tavern entrance. He stood from his chair and headed out the door.

I sighed, propping my head by the elbow on the table and spinning my empty wine glass around on the wooden surface. _How long has it been?_ An hour? This felt like forever!

Cabot approached me then, no longer able to stand my loitering. “Herald’s Rest is closed,” he grunted.

“Just a few more minutes, _pleaseee_?” I pleaded, clasping my hands together in a prayer-like gesture.

“No,” he said without even a blink. “Closed.”

“But I’m waiting for someone! He should be back any minute!” I explained.

Cabot let out a huff of aggravation. “ _Listen_ ,” he started. “I can never understand you people who try to stay here all night. This is _Skyhold_. You only have to walk a few paces, and you’re already at your bedroom door.” He pointed to the door. “So out. _Now_.”

I sighed, slowly pushing myself up by the hands. “ _Fiiine_ ,” I whined. I trudged towards the exit, but not very quickly. Although it did slightly worry me that their conversation was taking so long, I didn’t want to seem like I didn’t trust them. _Unless..._  unless Solas had already gone to bed... and I had just been waiting here like an idiot!!

“Agh!” I let out, covering my eyes with a hand. _That would be so embarrassing..._  I reached the door and pulled at its metal handle, tugging with both hands. It wasn’t budging an inch though. “Cabot, you gotta get this door fixed!” I shouted back at the dwarf. He didn’t respond.

A few more heaves and it swung open suddenly, throwing me backwards on the floor in its wake. I landed straight on my back like a klutzy fool, rubbing my head from the new pain. _Ouch!_ Why did doors open so violently here??

“An odd place to rest, _vhenan_ ,” a wolfy voice suggested above me.

I smiled, feeling a huge relief sweep over me. “I fell,” I said as he offered a hand to help me up. I took it, and he pulled me to my feet. “And you’re one to talk about resting in weird places.”

He chuckled. “Shall we?” he said, providing an arm for me to hold.

“What did you and Lavellan talk about?” I asked as we started our walk to the quarters. The night was relatively warm, and quiet, as there seemed to be no one else around in the courtyard.

“We spoke of several things,” he began, taking his steps at an easy pace. “She was not exactly...  _content_ with my previous explanations for my disappearance.”

“Oh, no...” I said, suddenly worried. “What did she say?”

“She had thought I was dead or dying, and only accepted my departure for this reason... but upon my return, her wariness has only grown.” He paused, glancing around the courtyard we were passing through. “She has heard rumors of elves claiming the return of the pantheon.”

“ _What?!_ ” I asked in a whisper. “Does she think it has to do with you??”

“Yes, she has her suspicions,” he answered quietly. “So I confessed my involvement.”

I stopped walking completely. “No way,” I said under my breath. “Did you tell her your identity?!”

“Of course not,” he said with a small chuckle. “Can you even imagine her response?”

“I bet it wouldn’t be...  _too_ bad,” I suggested hesitantly. Maybe a little panic _here_ , a little fear _there_ , some anger and some hatred?  _Hehhhh._

“Regardless, it is irrelevant as I told her no such thing,” Solas said, continuing to walk on without me and staring upwards towards the sky. “I did, however, speak of my help in freeing them, and reveal that I am an immortal of Elvhenan.”

“You told her you’re elvhen?!” I asked, returning to his side.

“Yes,” Solas confirmed. He reached for my hand again.

“Lavellan must have freaked out,” I said, shaking my head in disbelief.

“She had been skeptical of my origins for some time,” he replied in a low voice. “But yes, it was somewhat of a shock...” His voice trailed off as he gazed somewhere far away.

“But what does this mean? Is she going to help you? Will the Inquisition aid the pantheon?” I asked him.

“In time,” Solas answered. “She has much to deliberate.”

I blew a slow exhale through my lips. “Geez, Solas, I can’t believe you told her all that... No wonder why it took so long.”

“Yes,” he said tiredly. “It was not an easy conversation.”

I put my arms around him, giving him a hug. “You must be exhausted, Solas. Travelling all day and then so much interrogation...”

He gently kissed my hair. “I am fine, Anna. Do not concern yourself.”

“And you _sang_ today, too...” I said with a giggle. “What was that song about, anyway?”

Solas smiled. “It was for you, _vhenan_.”

“Me? What do you mean?” I asked, feeling my cheeks get warm.

“A declaration of one’s _nas_.”

“ _Nas_?” I turned to him, raising a brow. “What does that mean?”

“Soul, _vhenan_. And you are my _nas’falon_.” He bent down until his face was inches from mine. “Soulmate.”

My breath hitched from his close proximity. I leaned closer, placing my hands on both sides of his face and curling my fingers around his jaw. He smiled between my palms, and my heart started to pound at the thought of kissing him. I had yet to do so since reuniting with him...

“ _Ma nas’falon_ ,” I whispered.

His smile only grew wider at my words, and he took me into his arms and pressed his lips to mine, right in the middle of the courtyard. His kiss felt so sweet and affectionate, and I pulled him closer, longing for more. We were finally together again, and I never wanted to let him go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I want to thank [FenxShiral](http://archiveofourown.org/users/FenxShiral/pseuds/FenxShiral) for all the Elvish I used in this chapter. Wooooot!! He's the best.
> 
> Second, I want to run and hide from my super quick-and-dirty translation of the song Solas sings which is probably completely wrong haha. Anyway, they're the lyrics of "Love Me Like You Do" by Ellie Goulding, as requested by the wonderful Tarisha086, although she didn't have Solas in mind as the vocalist XD.


	68. The Human and the Hobo

“Solas, what if someone sees?!” I asked, giggling between kisses. “We’re in the middle of the _courtyard_ ,” I whispered.

“Hush, _vhenan_ ,” Solas said, nuzzling my neck. “Someone might hear you,” he teased.

“Seriously, you have to stop!” I exclaimed under my breath, hitting his arm. We hadn’t made it very far from the tavern before Solas had pushed me against one of the stone walls between a few trees, and it _was_ dark out, but still...  _outside_.

“We are alone, Anna,” he said as he worked at unbuttoning the collar of my top. “And my senses are more acute than yours; I will know if someone approaches.”

“But _Solas_ —” I gasped as he freed my shirt open and kissed my collarbone. He shushed me again, smiling slyly as he worked on exposing even more of my skin. He pulled the sleeves of my top down my shoulders until it fell to the ground, wrapping an arm around my waist as his other moved to my trousers. My back touched the stone wall then, and its cool surface sent a shiver through my body.

Solas stopped. “You are cold,” he remarked, examining the goosebumps along my chest. He picked up my shirt again and drew me close to his body. “Where have you been staying, _vhenan_? Your usual quarters?”

“No,” I answered, thoughtfully touching his jawbone necklace. _He still has it..._  “I’ve been staying in yours.”

He smiled and kissed my cheek, and then there was a crazy flashing-whirlwind and we were in his room, a fire appearing suddenly from a flick of his fingers. I stepped away from him, slightly dizzy from the sudden Fade-Step. “Some _warning_ would've been nice,” I said, crossing my arms.

He laughed, pulling me back to him so he could kiss me again. “Forgive me, Anna. I was too eager to be alone with you.”

“Oh?” I asked, unfolding my arms to place my hands upon his chest. “ _How_ eager?”

He grinned. “Dangerously so.”

I giggled, feeling my face blush. “Oh, stop,” I said, covering my eyes with a hand.

“Never,” he replied as he lifted me suddenly into his arms, holding me like a bride. He kissed me again and walked me over to the bed, laying me gently down. “I want to see all of you, _vhenan_.”

Solas pulled at my shoes and pants, removing them completely until I was in nothing but undies. His fingers moved to my smalls, but I stopped him with my hands. He met my eyes instantly, confused by the disruption.

“Solas, this is unfair!” I protested. “You’re still wearing all of _your_ clothes!” I gestured to his ensemble.

He chuckled. “Excuse my selfishness,” he said as he stood, straightening his posture. “Would you like to do the honor?” he asked, pulling at the edge of his tunic.

“No,” I said, pushing at his abdomen with a toe and smiling. “I rather watch you do it.” I relaxed onto the bed with my hands behind my head, grinning pervertedly.

“Such a lascivious mind you have, Anna,” he smirked.

“Yeah, and you better get used to it,” I smiled. “If our souls are gonna be stuck together forever.”

“Yes,” Solas replied, his tone turning much more serious. _Did I say the wrong thing?_ He removed his necklace, frowning slightly and sitting on the edge of the bed. He looked at the wolf bone in his hands, slowly gliding his thumb over its surface.

“You still have it,” I observed. “It didn’t disappear when I died?”

“No,” he answered quietly. “It was still intact.” He had a sad slouch in the way he was sitting, examining his pendant gloomily and acting so differently compared to a few minutes earlier. Something had obviously made him upset.

“Hey,” I said, sitting up and touching his shoulder. “What’s wrong?”

He turned to me, smiling weakly. “Pay no mind to me, _vhenan_. It is nothing.” Solas raised his hand to my face, brushing away some strands of hair. He then pressed his forehead to mine. “I only remembered...”

“My death?” I offered.

“Your mortality,” he finished.

“Oh,” I said, now understanding. _Solas must see my lifespan as so short..._  “Just cherish this time while you can, and don’t think about that...” I shook my head, laughing and cupping his cheek in my hand. “Stop being so morbid, Fen’Harel!” I scolded, kissing him gently on the lips. “You overthink things too much,” I whispered.

“I don’t want to lose you again,” he said softly, closing his eyes.

“If we really are connected, I’m sure I’ll find you again... I’ll be reborn or something like that,” I suggested, gently rubbing his back to console him. “There’s no point in worrying about something we can’t change.”

“Yes,” he replied, opening his eyes again, but still looking somber. “You are right.”

I kissed him on the cheek. “Now _strip_ , _vhenan_ ,” I whispered into his ear. I continued to kiss below his ear, moving my way down his neck and gently sucking on his skin until he forgot  _allll_  about his hobo worries.

He soon returned my fervent kisses, and not long after were we both lying on the bed, pulling at each other’s clothes hungrily (although there was hardly anything left on _me_ to remove). We had both yearned for each other for so long, and it was obvious by our greedy hands and mouths which touched any bit of flesh they could as we moved together. It was so wonderful, and I felt like I was floating on air, hot like steam and bursting like a kettle.

_Ahhhh_ , I had certainly missed him. We were finally one again. Just like our souls (or however that was supposed to work).

And later that night, when we had finished and were lying there in each other’s arms, I felt like I had never been happier, like all the worries and problems had finally resolved, and we could now be free to be together. _Sigh_. My Solas.

“So many times I lied in this bed, dreaming of you, Anna,” he said with a small smile, tenderly combing his fingers through my hair.

“Dirty dreams?” I teased, raising a brow and angling my chin towards him. My head was lying on his chest, and we had our arms around each other.

He laughed. “I am not _you_ , _vhenan_ ,” he said as his fingers ran along my jaw to grasp my chin accusingly.

I hit him playfully on the arm. “I’ve never had dirty dreams!” I protested.

Solas only smiled suggestively and arched a brow.

“Wait... I mean, I _haven’t_ , right?” I asked, propping myself up on an elbow to look at him seriously. I tried to remember any dreams I might have had with Solas, but the only ones I could think of were with him _actually_ there.

Solas looked quite smug in his smirk. “There _are_ dreams I have seen that you do not recall, _vhenan_ ,” he remarked, sounding a bit too pleased with himself.

“No... you’re lying, I haven’t had any!” _Had I?!_ And if Solas had creeped into them...

He chuckled, raising himself to gently kiss my forehead. “I was only teasing,” he whispered into my ear, and his breath prickled my skin.

“You’re mean, _hahren_ ,” I scolded as I wrapped my arms around him, hugging him tightly. “I love you, you stupid wolf.”

“And I love you, Anna, my strange little human,” he replied, tipping my chin so he could kiss me again.

We settled back into the bed, and I laid my head onto his chest and sighed, happy as a clam. It was pretty late now, and we would probably soon fall asleep, entering the world of spirits and dreams. “I wish I could control my dreams like you, doing whatever I wanted in the Fade,” I said, somewhat distractedly as I slid my fingers down the lines of his torso muscles. _Mmmm_.

“But you _have_ changed the Fade before, _vhenan_. You only need practice in focusing your awareness,” he quietly argued as he traced _his_ hand down the skin of my arm.

I shrugged (or whatever you called moving your shoulders while lying down). “Even so, I’m never going to be a somniari like you. I can’t do magic,” I said quietly, looking up at him again and stilling my hand.

Solas considered my words, humming softly as he pushed some hair off my cheek. “I would like to attempt something, _vhenan_ , if you would allow it,” he requested.

I nodded in permission, although I wasn’t sure what he was getting at. He pulled away from me then, sitting upright in the bed and helping me do the same.

Bringing his hand between us, he lit a small veilfire in his palm, cradling the blue light gently above his skin. “Trust me, Anna, this will not hurt you,” he said, as he used his other hand to take my own palm. He pulled it closer to the fire, but then paused a few inches away. “Or, in the case it _does_ harm you, I will heal you immediately.”

“Solas!” I protested, suddenly feeling a bit scared. “What are you doing??”

He chuckled. “You must trust me, _vhenan_ ,” he smirked with a sly grin.

“But you’re kind of threatening me with fire right now...” I said warily, but Solas only smiled as he pressed his lit palm into mine.

“What do you feel, Anna?” he asked, slowly peeling his hand away. The veilfire remained a small, glowing blue orb as it gently floated there above my skin, casting its light on our two faces.

I stared at the fire, feeling a bit awestruck that I was somehow holding the magic in my palm. “I don’t know, Solas... It doesn’t burn, but it’s warm...”

Solas sat up a bit straighter in the bed as he watched me hold the flame. “Focus on the fire. Feel its pulse. Will it to burn brighter, stronger,” he urged, his eyes glowing with blue light.

I tried to do as he suggested... but how does someone _will_ fire to burn brighter?! I envisioned the fire getting bigger, attempting to force my thoughts on its flames... but the fire remained the same. I exhaled sadly. “Nothing’s happening,” I said, defeated.

Solas smiled, and I looked from the veilfire to his eyes. “The flame should be extinguished by now, Anna,” he remarked happily. “I had ceased sustaining it the moment it was placed in your palm.”

“Wait... no... _I’m_ doing this right now?!” I said, feeling shock and excitement all at once. “Are you serious, Solas?”

He laughed, pressing his forehead to mine. “ _Yes, vhenan_ ,” he contended. “I have always sensed some manner of ability lying dormant within you. The way you change the Fade so easily, and your own understanding of magic. You feel it, Anna. You sense the energy around you... an achievement only accomplished by mages.”

Somewhere during his speech, the fire had faded, leaving my hand empty. “But... how can you be so sure?” I asked, still staring at my palm. “What if I can just do that stuff because I’m from another realm?”

Solas pondered this a moment. “Perhaps that is the reason, although I do not see the issue. It is clear you have some power, and this test has only confirmed it,” he said after a while. “And I can help your magic manifest, if you desire.”

“No way!” I exclaimed, wrapping my hands around his neck and kissing him. “Of _course_.”

Solas smiled, humming softly. “There is so much of you that is a mystery to me, Anna,” he said quietly as he brushed his fingers down my back. “Your soul... your abilities...” he trailed off, lost in thought.

“Me? A mystery? How much else could there be to figure out?” I asked curiously.

Something in his eyes then seemed to spark with excitement. “What if we could change your mortality, _vhenan_?” Solas said, meeting my gaze and sounding very eager. “I have heard of a ritual... a spell, of sorts, and when cast together by powerful mages...”

“Uh, what?” I said, raising a brow and drawing back from him a bit. “Are you talking about _making_ me immortal?”

“The pantheon is surely strong enough, Anna,” he urged enthusiastically. “It would be simple, really...” He gazed off into the distance with bright eyes, contemplating the idea.

“Me? Immortal?” I asked. “That’s _really_ crazy to imagine.”

“We could spend eternity together,” Solas said, smiling as he looked back at me. He kissed me lovingly on the lips.

I pulled away, feeling hesitant. “Eternity, huh? That’s a long time...” My eyes wandered from his to the wall. I laid myself back down on the bed, wondering what it would be like to live forever. It was hard enough to even imagine living until one hundred, but to never even die at _all_...

“Would you not want it?” he asked in an alarmed tone, leaning above me to catch my gaze again.

I hummed, pursing my lips together in reluctance. “I don’t know, it’s weird to think about. I would outlive everyone I knew...”

“Except me.” His voice was quiet, and his eyes looked so lonely as he studied me. He broke eye contact then to gaze at his mural of Arlathan instead.

I raised my fingers to his cheek, trailing them along his skin. How long had he wandered the world by himself? With nothing but spirits to keep him company? _His greatest fear is dying alone._

Being immortal was a scary and strange idea, but if he were with me, watching the world change together... It might not be so bad. And besides, I could hardly abandon him now. _Pfft_.

“How would we do it, then, _vhenan_?” I asked, smiling warmly. _Eternity with the one I love._ Not such a bad thing, really... The more I thought about it, the better it sounded. We could do whatever we wanted, for as long as we wanted, without ever having to worry about the limitations of time.

He turned back to me, smiling brightly and leaning down to kiss me. “Perhaps in the next few days,” he said with a wolfish grin. “When you meet the pantheon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Erm, I wrote these other two Solas/Anna oneshots last week though (in procrastination of writing this chapter...), which you can read if you haven't already: [Hallelujah](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3995254) and [Heartbeats](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4030840).


	69. Arrivederci

I woke up slowly, stretching my limbs and tentatively opening my eyes. As I lazily turned to my side, I then noticed the person lying beside me. “ _AHH!_ ” I yelped, jumping back a little until I was practically hanging off the edge of the bed.

Solas immediately woke, sitting up and raising a hand defensively. A little ball of electrical energy poofed into his palm, but as he quickly glanced around his surroundings, it faded. “What is it, Anna? What caused your alarm?” he asked, turning towards me with a worried expression.

I laughed awkwardly, shaking my head and scratching my neck. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you...” I explained hesitantly. “I just... forgot you had hair... and for a second I didn’t know who was in my bed.”

He gave me a deadpan stare, showing absolutely no amusement as he lifted one of his brows. “How is that even possible, _vhenan_? We spent all of yesterday together.”

I shrugged, tracing over the reddish-brown tendrils of his hair with my eyes. “I dunno, bad memory, I guess? I’m always a little confused when I first wake up.”

“I am very worried about you, Anna,” Solas said, shaking his head and chuckling a bit. “Have you forgotten my name, as well?” he asked teasingly, pulling me into his arms.

I kissed the line of his jaw. “Yeah... it’s, uh, Fen-something, right? Fen’Dreadful or something like that?” I mumbled into his neck.

He laughed, kissing my hair. “Close enough,” he said, tilting my chin with his hand so he could reach my mouth with his lips.

I pulled back from him after a few seconds, smiling all the while. “Have you ever had dreadlocks, _vhenan_?” I asked.

“ _Dread..._  locks?” Solas asked, eyebrow raised in perplexity.

“It’s when hair is long and twisted... kind of looking like ropes, almost,” I explained, twirling my own hair in my fingers to show him. “Whenever I saw you with hair in the Fade, it was always kind of straight and neat-looking.”

He hummed, touching some of my hair along with me. “I suppose it somewhat resembled this after the rebellion,” he replied thoughtfully.

“The rebellion?”

“Yes. When I had rebelled against the pantheon and no longer cared for my appearance, my hair began to twist itself into a similar fashion.” He smiled. “Your hair is so lovely, _vhenan_ ,” he breathed.

I felt my cheeks warm as I asked him, “Are you going to grow it long again?”

“What would you prefer?” he asked in a low voice, his tone turning gravelly. He moved to press kisses down my neck, continuing across my collarbone.

“Whatever, really, I don’t think... I... care...” And then I got too distracted for any further conversation. _Heh_.

 

*****

 

Unfortunately, we couldn’t stay long in Skyhold. Solas had to continue his duty to the People, and there was no way I wasn’t coming with him. As much as I hated to leave the Inquisition again, I knew it wouldn’t be forever, and Solas assured me we would visit as often as possible. But our next step was to meet the pantheon...  _Gulp_. I wasn't quite sure what to expect.

On our last day in Skyhold, Solas had another private meeting with Lavellan. Although it was still in the beginnings, the two of them planned the Inquisition’s role in the rebuilding of Elvhenan. As a Dalish, Lavellan was ecstatic about the return of her gods. She was also under the impression that Solas was a high priest to the pantheon, serving since before the fall of Arlathan. I don’t even know if he even _told_ her that, but Solas was so good at misdirection, it was easy to believe that she had just drawn her own conclusions.

I spent my last day (for a while, at least), hanging out with the Inner Circle as much as I could. Sera, Varric, Leliana, and I had an archery contest (I lost, big surprise). Scout Harding gave us dance lessons, which Cassandra even participated in (and she secretly loved it, she told me afterwards). Blackwall and Josephine danced with each other, and I even caught them holding hands later.

I taught Cullen _vhenan_ and _ma sa'lath_ , which he turned completely red from, but was actually really grateful (as Cole told me when he was out of earshot). I went shopping with Dorian _and_ Vivienne this time, and ended up getting a nice little Fereldan forest-green outfit (they both argued too much over Orlesian vs. Tevinter fashion the whole time).

Bull and the Chargers played a drinking game with me, where they would take a swig whenever Cabot grunted. I had to quit before I got too plastered. The rest of the Inner Circle eventually joined us though, taking up nearly half of the Herald’s Rest as we all sat together.

“Sing, Anna, sing! Give us somethin’ to remember you by!” Sera suggested, pushing my butt with her foot.

“Sing?!” I asked, all loud and tipsy. “ _Okayyy_ , but I still only know that one song.” I waddled over to the center of the tavern, not even asking the bard or Cabot if it was alright for me to perform.

I took a deep breath, examining my audience. The companions all watched me expectantly with encouraging smiles, drinking and laughing together happily. It was nice to be spending time like this with the Inquisition again, but bittersweet to know it would be a while before I’d be back. As I stood there alone on that wooden floor, feelings of sadness began to creep into my thoughts.

But I did my best to push them away as I started the song. “ _Sera was never quite an agreeable girl—_ ” I tried to sing, but was stopped by a hiccup, and the sudden interruption made all those bad emotions come crashing back tenfold. Tears then ran down my cheeks, and I uselessly tried to rub them away. “I’m gonna miss you guys so much!” I wailed, still standing in the middle of the room.

Solas was instantly by my side, placing his arm around me and guiding me back to the table full of our companions. “Do not worry, Anna. We will return soon, I promise you,” he soothed quietly.

I nodded, still whimpering a bit. The group all chimed in with reassuring words, all affirming that we would definitely see each other again, and soon, even.

“You will always be welcome to the Inquisition, Anna,” Lavellan said with a smile. And it took everything in my power to not burst into tears again from how sincere she sounded.

 

*****

 

“Thank you for allowing our use of the eluvian, Inquisitor,” Solas said the next day as we stood in front of Morrigan’s mirror.

She laughed. “Well, someone around here should use it, and I prefer it to be someone who actually knows _how_.”

Solas gave a small smile. “Yes, this will make our journey much more efficient,” he said as his eyes skimmed over the mirror's surface.

“And you will inform me as soon as you leave Thedas?” she asked.

“Of course,” he replied with a nod. “The Inquisition’s resources are greatly appreciated, and needed.”

“Well, then,” she said, glancing between the both of us. “ _Dareth shiral_ , you two. I look forward to hearing from you.”

“ _Dareth shiral_ ,” I returned. I turned to everyone in the room. “I’ll see you all again soon.” Practically everyone had squashed into the small area to say their goodbyes. I gave each of the companions a hug, trying my best not to tear up again. It was tough, but by the time Solas and I finally stepped through the eluvian, I felt sure it wasn’t the last time I would be with them all. _They’re only a mirror away_.

The pantheon had been slowly gathering support from clans over the last few months, spreading word of their return and the reestablishment of Elvhenan. Talk was spreading fast and many clans easily accepted the reappearance of their gods. They had wanted this for centuries and now that their prayers were finally answered, the excitement was impossible to contain.

It was all in preparation for the Arlathvhen meeting of clans next year, which was to be the pantheon’s official “debut” among the elves of Thedas. The whole idea seemed a little crazy—why would the People so readily believe these elves were their gods, anyway? But Solas assured me that they were “powerful enough” to prove it. Right. Whatever _that_ means.

They were now staying in Antiva City, a meeting spot Solas had picked specifically for our future travels. He still needed to sail the ocean in search of a new home for Elvhenan, and the pantheon had been nearby the capital anyway, so it seemed like the obvious choice to meet up.

Luckily, he already knew which eluvians to take to get there, and we ended up reaching the city by nightfall. I honestly had no idea how long it would’ve taken if we didn’t have the eluvians, but I imagined at least a week or something. Although, we  _could_ have been there even  _faster_ if we hadn’t made a few...  _stops_. Cough, pervy hobo, cough.

We had to walk about a mile or so into the city from where the mirror laid hidden in a nearby forest. But the closer we got, the more excited I felt. Antiva City looked friggin’ _amazing_!

Nestled into some cliffs by the ocean, it seemed straight out of a fairytale. The entire city was lit with lamps, speckling the hills with different colored lights. There were huge ships that filled its giant port, and I briefly wondered what type of boat the hobo would travel on.

“This is place _beautiful_ , Solas,” I cried as we stepped onto the first cobbled street. “All these lights! And the _colors_!” Each building was painted in a different hue, its facade brightly illuminated by the city’s many lamps.

And it was _loud_ here, too. There were people everywhere, wearing masks and exquisite costumes. They laughed and danced in the streets, while musicians played in every corner. “Is it always like this?” I asked the wolf.

He smiled, lacing an arm around my waist. “We are fortunate enough to have arrived in Antiva during Satinalia, a yearly celebration of freedom.”

“How cool! Can we walk around a bit?” I asked, tugging at his tunic.

Solas shook his head. “It would be wiser to meet my _lethallin_ first, _vhenan_.”

“Alright, if you say so...” I replied, and we continued to stride through the Antiva City streets.

It looked like a pretty kickin’ festival going on, and there were all sorts of things being sold in little booths and tents. Food, trinkets, clothing—Yes, I could spend _quite_ a while here. Everything felt so rich and warm, and even the _air_ had some lightly floral scent mixed with the sea-salt ocean breeze.

We were walking along a pier now, and I saw the boats in the dock were lit up with pretty colors as well. I sighed, gliding my hand around Solas to lean into him. “It’d be nice to spend some time in different cities around Thedas,” I told him. “There’s so much I haven’t seen.”

“If you become immortal, there will be time enough to see the entire world,” he suggested, pausing to turn his body to face me. “We may visit every country, every city, every forest,” he smiled and placed a palm to my cheek with twinkling eyes. “I will take you wherever you wish to go, _emma lath_.”

I raised my lips to his to kiss him. “You’re really selling this immortality thing, aren’t you?” I teased.

He laughed softly. “And am I successful? Have you been persuaded?”

“Hmmm, I’m _leaning_ towards it,” I murmured as I kissed him again.

“Oh! A human and an elf!” a masked woman exclaimed in a very heavy Antivan accent. She whispered (pretty loudly) to another woman next to her, “Times certainly are _changing_ , aren’t they?” The pair shuffled away giggling.

“You bet they are!” I shouted after them as they walked even faster away. “Yeah, you better run! _Arrivederci_!” _They speak some sort of Italian in Antiva, right?_ I turned back to Solas, who had an eyebrow high in the air.

“That was a little unnecessary, _vhenan_ ,” he said as he offered an arm for me to take.

I snaked my arm through his. “Solas, I just won’t stand for all this racism! It really has to stop!” I argued as we began to walk again. “It’s friggin’ ridiculous.”

“Yes,” he agreed, “but it is difficult to change a deeply-ingrained state of mind.”

“But the new Elvhenan will be different, right? Everyone will be treated equally there?”

“One can only hope,” he said, his tone turning slightly dark. “A man’s paradigm is always the slowest to evolve.”

I hummed in agreement.

We continued walking for ten minutes or so, passing by cheery festivities and brightly-lit buildings. Eventually, we stopped in front of some sort of house. “The pantheon is currently residing here,” Solas explained.

“Here? In this house?”

“Yes, Lady Montilyet organized their accommodation,” he answered as his eyes wandered over the building’s exterior. “A friend of the Inquisition had an empty manor to spare.”

I observed the house with him. It looked pretty expensive, and at least three stories. The outside seemed like it was made of brick, painted yellow or maybe light green, and it had _huge_ windows that were trimmed with white and had some fancy patterns in their moldings. “Geez, that’s fast... didn’t you only tell Lavellan like two days ago?”

“The Inquisition is a powerful ally,” Solas replied, meeting my gaze again.

“I guess so.”

Solas knocked on the door, and a young elven woman almost immediately opened it. “What business do you have?” she greeted with a light Antivan inflection, pulling the door aside to peek through.

“My name is Solas, and I believe I am—” he began with the utmost hobo-propriety.

“Oh, yes, hello!” she exclaimed, rushing to fully open the door so we could pass through.

“Thank you,” he said politely as we entered the house. “Are they all inside?”

“Yes, in the sitting room, ser, although... they’ve been _drinking_ ,” she warned.

Solas rolled his eyes. “I understand. Thank you.”

She pointed in the supposed direction of the other gods before curtsying and scuttling away up some gigantic grand staircase. “Should I be worried?” I asked him.

“Everything will be fine, _vhenan_ ,” he assured.

This house was just as nice on the inside as its exterior had hinted. At first glance, it seemed pretty modest, but when I looked closer, everything just had... details. _Pricey_ -looking details. Like the way the hardwood flooring was set in some diamond pattern of different shades of wood, or how the furniture, although simple in design, actually had lines of gold inlaid into its surface. Was this really a second home? The owners must have money coming out of their asses.

Solas led us a few steps down a hallway until we reached a closed door with loud voices coming from behind it. He was about to knock when it suddenly opened.

“Hello, _lethallin_ ,” a very familiar voice rang. Morrigan leaned against the frame of the door, holding a glass tumbler lazily in one hand. “We meet again, Anna.”

“ _Morrigan_?” I said in surprise. “What are _you_ doing here?”

She clicked her tongue in disapproval. “That is no way to address the Great Protector, now is it?”

 _Oh shit_. I guess she became just like her mother after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter ended up a lot longer than I planned O_o. Hope it ain't too much! I didn't mean to drag out the ending of this story for so long, hehhhh.
> 
> For Antiva City, I picture [this concept art](http://img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20131211110448/dragonage/images/5/57/Antiva_-_Dragon_Age_The_Silent_Grove.jpg), but slightly more painted up and Venetian. I dunno haha.
> 
>  _arrivederci_ = goodbye/see you again soon in Italian
> 
> Elvish translations:  
>  _ma sa'lath_ = my one love  
>  _emma lath_ = my love  
>  _Dareth shiral_ = farewell  
>  _vhenan_ = heart  
>  _lethallin_ = used for someone who is familiar, like "cousin"
> 
>  _Arlathvhen_ = from the DA wiki: Only once a decade or so do the Dalish clans all meet together, and their keepers, the elders and leaders of the Dalish who are responsible in keeping elven lore and magic alive, will meet together and exchange knowledge in a meeting called the Arlathvhen.


	70. Pantheon Party

“Mythal?!” I looked at Solas in disbelief. “ _Thanks for the head’s up_ ,” I hissed under my breath, jabbing my elbow into his side.

He made an _oomphf!_ noise. “I did not think the information necessary,” he said, rubbing his new injury.

Morrigan laughed. “I’m pleased to see you’re still the same, Anna. And do not worry, I care little for formalities.” She moved aside to make room for the two of us. “So good of you to join us this evening.”

“Have you given any more thought to my request?” Solas asked as he passed through the doorway.

“Oh, yes, yes, but we shan’t discuss that now! Introductions are in order.” She turned to the room. “Everyone, Fen’Harel and Anna have arrived!” she announced.

I surveyed the room as soon as I entered after Solas. Elves were sitting all around it, spread out on sofas and plush chairs. There were several wine bottles on a table as well, and each inhabitant had a glass in hand.

I recognized these elves from my previous (brief) encounter, although they seemed less glowy this time, and there were only five present. They all seemed to be staring shamelessly as well, blinking expectantly as they sized me up. I smoothed my hair back awkwardly, feeling suddenly self-conscious.

“You are Anna?” an elven woman approached me, briskly walking her way over. Her huge, dark eyes tore me apart as she neared, and she bared her teeth in what certainly should _not_ be considered a smile. The elf grabbed my shoulders immediately, shaking them profusely. It kinda hurt. “I finally get to meet the one who _stole_ Fen’Harel’s heart,” she screeched, coming so close that the wildness of her black hair touched my cheek.

 _Did she just emphasize “stole”?_ She totally just emphasized “stole.” I opened my mouth to respond, feeling overwhelmingly alarmed, but Solas spoke before me.

“We do not have time for your fixations, Andruil,” he said, quickly pulling me out of her grasp and swatting away her hands. He hastily walked us to the other side of the room.

“Wait, that was Andruil?!” I whispered to him. “She was the one who wanted to have sex with you for a year, right??”

“I rather not speak of it,” he answered vaguely. _Uh-huh_. “Elgar’nan,” Solas greeted as he approached a seated elf. The wolf spoke in Elvish then, but I heard him say my name with a small hand gesture towards my body.

I bowed my head, figuring Solas was introducing me. “Nice to meet you,” I said with outstanding awkwardness.

The elf nodded in acknowledgement. Although he looked relatively young, as they all did, his hair was completely white, and he had a brow so fierce that I quickly understood why he was the god of vengeance. This guy looked _terrifying_ , and definitely _not_ in the mood for conversation.

But Solas had no fear. He said something else in Elvish to Elgar’nan, and by the way his voice inflected at the end of his statement, it sounded like a question.

“Straight to business, are we, Dread Wolf?” Morrigan approached us again, taking a sip from her glass. “Yes, we have discussed the matter,” she assured. “As you have been very loyal to us in these past few months, we shall grant you your wish and make this human immortal.” She absently gestured to me.

This human?! _Oh, you’re_ sooo _cool now that you're part-Mythal._

“That is unnecessary,” came another voice. It was quite a high and rich-sounding one, too. We all turned to see a very beautiful elf walking leisurely towards our small group. Her golden hair sashayed with her hips as she wryly smiled at us, just oozing confidence in every step.

“Sylaise,” Solas said with a tiny bow of his head. “Might I introduce Anna?”

“Yes, I know who she is,” she said curtly. “And we do not need to cast the spell. She is already immortal.”

“WHAT?!” I exclaimed, pretty embarrassingly. I cleared my throat awkwardly. “I mean, excuse me?”

She turned her amber gaze to mine. “You are already immortal, child. Your body is not like the others of Thedas. It was created outside this realm, and thus the limitations of this world have no hold on it.”

“Are you certain?” Solas asked with skeptical furrow in his brow.

Sylaise smiled, and it was almost obnoxiously breathtaking. “Yes, Fen’Harel, I am quite certain. And I am surprised you have not seen it. I have studied your Veil in these last few months, and have learned much from it. It clings differently to immortals than the _shemlen_.”

Solas did a sharp intake through his nose, raising his chin ever slightly and widening his eyes. “I had no idea...” he remarked quietly. “There were no other immortals for me to notice.” The poor hobo seemed even more shocked than me.

“Mmm, yes,” she replied absently. “But there is an issue, I believe.”

Of course there was. “What is it?” I asked, not really believing this whole immortality thing.

“Your spirit is divided between realms, and this will ultimately kill you,” she explained, straightening the hem of her silky-looking shirt.

“Wait, what? So I _am_ gonna die?” I questioned confusedly. Then didn’t that just mean I was... mortal?

“Yes, unless we cast another spell,” Sylaise said with a shrug.

“Ah, of course,” Morrigan said. “We must sever her ties, yes?”

Sylaise nodded. “It is the only way.”

“Okay, wait, wait, wait,” I said, holding my hands up. “I’m immortal, but my spirit is divided or something, so I’m going to die anyway, unless you cast another spell?” I summarized slowly, taking a few deep breaths. “This is really fucking weird.”

“Yes,” Solas said, turning to me, “your spirit is still bound to the other realm.” He looked very worried as he said this, scrunching his eyebrows together. “Your body will deteriorate after some time, as the strain on the spirit is too great.”

“But there is a spell to reverse it,” Morrigan cut in.

“A _dangerous_ spell,” Solas corrected.

Morrigan rolled her eyes. “Have you no trust in us, Fen’Harel? Anna will be perfectly fine, I assure you,” she said. “Well, besides her _problematic_ character.”

“I’ll really be fine, Morrigan?” I asked, trying to ignore her jab at my personality. _I’m not “problematic”!!_

“Oh, yes,” she answered. “With all the elvhen gods casting together? The chances of failure are quite slim. And even if it did fail, you would simply just remain as you are now.”

“Hmm,” I considered. “Well, might as well try it! It sounds good enough to—”

The loud slam of a door interrupted me. “Oh, good, you two have returned,” Morrigan said, her eyes moving towards the noise’s direction.

We all glanced at the door to see a pair of male elves enter the room. One elf had his arm draped over the other’s shoulder, and he was saying something loudly in Elvish, wielding a wine bottle high in the air like a sword.

He looked over at Solas and me and dropped the bottle completely, making a soft thudding sound against the carpeted floor. “ _Fenedhis_ ,” he cursed, and then whispered something to the elf beside him.

“Falon’Din and Dirthamen,” Solas muttered under his breath to me, but he didn’t really need to because what other pair of gods would be so chummy? And I guessed that the especially freaked-out one was Falon’Din.

He had this vampire-y look going on, with skin so pale he actually looked kinda dead, but his dark eyes seemed almost _too_ alive in their intensity. They were practically popping out of his head as they ran up and down my form. _Stop staring at me like that, asshole_.

He soon did stop his eye-molesting though, as he buried his face into Dirthamen’s shoulder, mumbling some things in Elvish to him. The other elf was much easier to look at. He seemed warm and friendly, and he smiled as he greeted the both of us.

“You’re back, Fen’Harel,” Dirthamen said, still smiling pleasantly. His gaze turned to mine. “And you must be Anna? I’ve heard so much about you.”

I smiled back, taking a few steps towards them. “And you must be Dirthamen! Nice to meet you!” I returned. I looked at Falon’Din, who seemed to be refusing to acknowledge my presence. “Hey, Falon’Din! I’ve been _dying_ to meet you,” I greeted deviously.

Solas came to my side then, looking nearly as amused as I was. The wolf said some elven things and after a few moments and very reluctant sigh, Falon’Din finally looked up and said to me, “I have learned your tongue in these last few months, so I am now able to understand you.”

Not what I had been expecting, but... “ _Okay..._ ”

Another deep exhale from my murderer and he said, “I apologize for my initial behavior. It was impolite of me to treat you as such.”

“You mean when you _killed_ me?”

He shrugged indifferently. “I never quite cared for your kind,” he said flippantly, as if it were an appropriate excuse for homicide.

“ _Falon_ ,” Solas warned, but Falon’Din only rolled his eyes.

“What was that one saying?” I asked. “Oh, yeah. _Dirthara-ma_.”

Solas raised a hand to his mouth, stifling a laugh.

Falon’Din’s jaw clenched, and it looked like one of his eyeballs was twitching a bit. “ _Isalaan na’harthir_ ,” he hissed before turning away from us to skulk into a nearby sofa.

“What did that asshole say?!” I asked Solas.

“Do not mind him, _vhenan_ ,” he soothed, still smiling. He placed his arm around my shoulders, squeezing me fondly. “Perhaps you should start learning Elvhen.”

“Only if you’ll be my teacher,” I smiled.

“I doubt anyone else would have the patience,” Solas teased. I hit him on the arm, and he laughed. He then pulled me aside, turning serious again. “ _Vhenan_ , I must discuss the specifications of your spell with Mythal and Sylaise,” he explained quietly. “Will you be content remaining here with the others?”

“Can’t I come with you?” I asked.

“Of course, Anna, but... it is easier and faster for us to converse in Elvhen,” he said hesitantly.

I nodded. “Okay, I understand.” He smiled and kissed my forehead, and a few minutes later the three of them disappeared into another room. I looked around at the remaining elves, now noticing how silent the room was as everyone watched me. How was I going to socialize with the pantheon without Solas?

 

*****

 

I guess someone could call this a party. A really boring, awkward party that no one would ever want to willingly attend. _The things I do for love._

The weirdest thing was that I was sitting next to Falon’Din. _Falon’Din_ , of all people. The god that killed me without thinking and is a ghost whisperer and all that.

Everyone was pretty drunk here, too, even if they didn’t show it. But I could tell. Even if they were mainly speaking in ( _slurred_ ) Elvish, I could still tell. I had barely met the pantheon, and already they had shown more of their crazy personalities in the last two hours than Solas had in the past year.

“This is pathetic, really,” Falon’Din whispered to me. “A complete travesty compared to the social gatherings of Arlathan.”

“Yeah, so _why_ does Andruil keep screaming?” I asked under my breath.

Falon’Din rolled his eyes, crossing his arms as he relaxed back into the plush Antivan sofa. “She is only vying for attention. It’s best to just ignore it.”

I kept my eyes on the elven goddess, watching as she spun around in circles, laughing maniacally and whipping her long hair. “She’s acting completely _crazy..._ Are you sure this is normal?”

“Yes, she has been like this for quite some time. At least the last few millennia or so,” he took a sip of his drink, smiling wickedly into the glass. “I think it’s worse because Fen’s here.”

I had to roll my eyes this time. “Yeah, okay, _whatever_ , Falon’Din,” I said, drinking some of the fancy Antivan wine Solas had poured me earlier in the evening. “I'm still mad at you for killing me, by the way.”

The elf waved his hand dismissively at me. “Yes, yes. As to be expected.”

“Seriously, you are such an asshole,” I said indignantly. “ _I_ should be trying to kill _you_ right now in revenge or something.”

He laughed at that, shaking his head, but not saying anything. What. A. Douche.

I closed my eyes, resting my head on the back of the couch. “I’m kinda amazed by that crazy Avada Kedavra shit you pulled, though,” I said after a noticeable silence.

“What?” Falon’Din asked in a tone that was a mixture of annoyance and surprise. He raised a brow as he turned to me.

“The instant kill thing,” I said, shrugging as I remembered my horribly quick and painful death. _Haaaa, what a laugh_. “I've never seen Solas do that.”

“Ah,” he replied, looking stupidly smug. “It is one of my own inventions.”

“Right... ‘friend of the dead’ and all,” I mumbled, picturing how well I would be able to strangle him. Maybe if I somehow shoved him to the floor and choked him with my knee on his throat?

“Fen’Harel has changed,” Falon’Din observed thoughtfully during my murderous fantasies. “He never thought of humans—none of us did. They were merely an inferior species.”

I made a Cassandra-esque disgusted noise. “Gee, thanks,” I muttered.

Falon’Din shook his head, smiling to himself. “It's almost humorous to think of how they enslaved the People,” he remarked.

I raised a brow in disbelief. “It really isn't.”

He laughed, stretching his arms over his head. “Fen’Harel really ruined the world,” he said, sounding nearly entertained by the words.

I wanted to break my glass over his stupid face. “But he did one thing right,” I sneered back. “He imprisoned you.”

He snorted, lazily turning to look at me. “You are amusing,” he replied with a small smile. “I believe I can now see your appeal.”

“Uh, okay.” Was that a compliment or another insult?

“When I first saw you tonight, I could not believe that Fen would waste his time with such a plain-looking human who moves like an ogre and sounds like a nug. I nearly laughed.”

“Oh, _please_ , you practically pissed your pants when you saw I was here. _You_ must have been shocked. Or scared. Or both,” I accused.

He rolled his eyes. “If anything I was _annoyed_. I already knew of your revival. Mythal had informed us all about it when Fen’Harel had gone on his little _excursion_ to retrieve you. And I was certainly _not_ looking forward to meeting you,” he retorted indignantly.

“Okay, I think I’ve had enough. I’m going to go talk to June or something,” I said.

“Oh, yes. Go bore yourself with the carpenter,” he replied, waving his glass in the air.

I rolled my eyes, standing immediately from the sofa to leave, but as I stepped away he caught hold of my tunic. “ _Wait_ ,” he said tiredly. “Stay and chat with me. Dirthamen is still fluttering over there with Andruil, and I rather drown than speak to June or, _ugh_ , Ghilan’nain.”

“And you rather talk to _me_?” I asked skeptically. Curiously, I sat down again and said in a low voice, “Why don’t you talk to Elgar’nan?”

He exhaled slowly, leaning back into the cushions. “Like _he_ would talk to me.”

I sighed. “Well, that would make two of us.” I peeked over at Elgar’nan, who was looking menacingly annoyed as he sat quietly in a corner drinking wine. “Does he hate me? He hasn’t even said a word to me.”

Falon’Din laughed. “Oh, he _definitely_ hates you. But everyone pretty much hates you, so I wouldn’t think much of it.”

“What? Really?!” I said under my breath. “ _Everyone_ hates me?”

“Ah, it’s not your fault, little human. It is only our lingering contempt for Fen’Harel that _latches_ itself onto you...” He made a weird clawing hand gesture at the word _latches_. It was then that I realized how drunk Falon’Din really _was_. He laid his head back on the sofa and closed his eyes, but his fingers suddenly ignited with fire, causing me to jump a little. He twirled his fingers around, making little flaming spirals.

 _Everyone_ hated me? I looked at the other elves in the room. Andruil had stopped spinning, but she was now jumping up and down, trying to touch the ceiling (or at least that was what it looked like).

“I would not have killed you if I had known who you were,” Falon’Din said quietly with his eyes still closed and continuing to spin his fingers around. “Fen’Harel is much more merciful than I. I would have murdered anyone instantly for even harming Dirthamen.”

“Yeah, what's your relationship with him anyway? Are you friends, brothers, lovers? What's the story?” I questioned, keeping a mindful eye on his flaming fingers.

“We are all those things, and more,” he answered lazily.

 _Hold up_. I sat up a little in my seat, feeling instantly disturbed by his answer. “Are you saying you’re lovers with your brother?!”

He sighed, rolling his head towards me and finally opening his eyes to glare at mine. “We are only brothers in spirit, just as you and Fen are twin souls,” he replied, clearly exasperated.

“Oh, right,” I said awkwardly. “Twin souls... What does that mean, anyway?”

Falon’Din closed his eyes again. “You were born together,” he answered tiredly, speaking his words noticeably slower. “You will always find each other... always return...” And then he passed out. _Seriously?_

“Thank you for keeping him company,” Dirthamen said quietly a few minutes later as he neared the couch. He smiled as he looked at Falon’Din, whose mouth was hanging open quite unattractively. “He feels comfortable around you,” he observed.

“Um,” I said, “are you sure about that? I think he hates me.”

Dirthamen smiled a little wider. “Anyone who has died is familiar to Falon’Din,” he replied, weirdly happy-sounding. “Especially those who have died by his hand.”

“Well, that’s super creepy,” I remarked, wondering how many others he had been _comfortable_ with. I looked up at the still-standing Dirthamen. “Do you hate Fen’Harel, Dirthamen?” I asked as politely as I could.

He met my gaze, his lips forming a tight line. “We are all distraught and angry to see what has become of the People,” he said. “But I understand Fen’Harel’s reasoning for trapping us... I only wish he had protected Elvhenan.”

“So you don’t hate him?”

Dirthamen’s eyes wandered back to watching Falon’Din sleep. “Our cooperation is necessary to restore what was,” he said dryly. “Any animosity towards each other must be disregarded.”

“So you _do_ hate him?”

He sighed. “We have all wronged each other in some form... Although Fen’Harel has wronged the People unforgivably, he is still my _lethallin_ , and I will fight alongside him for as long as our goals remain aligned.”

I nodded. Dirthamen’s words were reassuring, even if it was a bit saddening to hear that they still had some hard feelings against Solas... although, who could really blame them? His actions had changed the entire world...

And just as I was considering asking Dirthamen what he thought of _me_ , the wolf himself came bursting through the door. “ _Vhenan_ ,” he said excitedly, striding quickly across the room to meet me, “are you ready?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Avada Kedavra_ : Harry Potter reference for the spell that instantly kills people.
> 
> Elvhen translations:  
>  _Fenedhis_ = wolf penis  
>  _Dirthara-ma_ = May you learn.  
>  _Isalaan na’harthir_ = You two deserve each other. (my shitty [FenxShiral](http://fenxshiral.tumblr.com)-based translation).
> 
> Also, I wrote another Solas/Anna AU oneshot thing called [Cookies](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4155006), if y'all be interested. Oh, and this one called [Forgiveness](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4174428), too, I guess.  
>  ***Edit** : Okay, more AU oneshots to add because I'm obsessed O_O: [Like a Ghost](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4175988) and [Dare to Dream](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4202751)


	71. Happily Ever Epilogue

“Look at this, biotch! Look at it!” I exclaimed, shoving my flaming fingers in Falon’Din’s face.

The elf rolled his eyes, “ _Please_ ,” he spat. “Anyone can set themselves on fire.”

“I didn’t set myself on fire! I’m doing magic, see? Magic!” I declared as I twiddled my fingers even closer to his eyes.

“I had no idea humans came as small and loud as you.” He looked annoyed as he swatted me away, but his eyes still skimmed over my hands. “What else can you do?” he asked, _somewhat_ curiously.

I grinned. “ _This_ ,” I replied. I opened my palm to hold a little flaming ball.

Falon’Din snorted. “I meant, what _other_ spells can you cast besides fire?”

“ _Nothing_ ,” Solas smirked beside me. “She has yet to try the other elements.”

“Shut up, Solas!” I said, still smiling. “I have _fire_.”

“Are you _certain_ the spell was successful?” Falon’Din asked the wolf. “She somehow seems worse than before...” he remarked bitterly.

I rolled my eyes. “The ritual worked, right, Solas?”

“Yes,” he answered, smiling. “Perfectly.”

Falon’Din made a disgusted noise. “So you will actually live eternally now?” He sank into a chair unhappily. “The world is surely doomed.”

“Yeah, unless you kill me again,” I mocked in an obnoxious tone.

“I’m considering it...” he replied quietly with a small smile.

And even though he still pissed me off, I smiled back. Yes, the spell _had_ worked, and I was immortal now! It was a little crazy, too, because once my spirit was finally brought wholly to Thedas, all this magic burst out of me in hot flames, like it had been waiting for ages to emerge. Guess my spirit being divided caused a lot of pent-up power.

Morrigan, Sylaise, June, Elgar’nan, and Solas were the only ones to help with the spell in the end, and luckily they were there to immediately extinguish my unexpected fire. Besides that happening, I couldn’t tell if I felt any different. But I _could_ feel the Veil now... or at least what I _thought_ was the Veil. It was definitely something in the air. A _tingling_ thing.

And Solas’ aura jumped out at me like a slap in the face. It was like he was the biggest entity in the room, an elephant impossible to ignore. And now, I was pretty sure I could find him across an ocean. He will never escape me... _Muahahaha_.

 

*****

 

Weeks crawled by as I learned _ma_ magic (and Elvish, see?), but I still wasn’t very good at it. In fact, the only thing I could actually do was cast some veilfire. Solas thought Sylaise did something weird during the ritual for my magic to be limited like that, but I was pretty happy with only knowing fire since it made bathing so much faster. Worked for me!

Solas was a good teacher, patient and knowledgeable, but ultimately preoccupied with restoring the People. Elves kept stopping by the house in Antiva, looking to meet the pantheon and join their cause. Keepers from clans were coming left and right, and all of them were practically fainting from meeting their gods. Solas never mentioned his true identity, though, since it would have probably freaked them out too much.

So even though people were coming and going all the time, and there was always something to do or someone to meet, I missed the Inquisition. The gods were cool or whatever (except that prick Falon’Din), but I kept wondering what the companions were up to. Were they as busy as the pantheon? Was the Inner Circle still even _with_ the Inquisition?

One dull afternoon, I asked my _vhenan_ a question, “Can we go visit Skyhold?”

“No,” Solas lamented sadly, “there are too many preparations needed here. I regretfully cannot spare the moment.”

“Well... can I go?” I suggested instead.

The question surprised the hobo, but he saw no harm in it, and agreed to help show me the way back. “I will miss you, _vhenan_ ,” he said tenderly. “Will you still travel with me across the sea?”

“Of course,” I said, kissing him. “I’ll just be gone for a week or so.”

So I went on my own little trip through the eluvians to return back to Skyhold. After carefully writing down Solas’ directions about which mirrors to walk through, I bid my farewells and was plopped into the fortress by the next evening.

“I’m back! I’m back! I’m baaaack!” I shouted, running up to every person I knew. A few raised eyebrows, double-takes, and awkward hellos later, the whole Inquisition became aware of my unexpected arrival. Everyone was still in the castle, and they were all happy (and surprised) to see me, but naturally they asked about Solas and the pantheon.

“Yeah, they’re around, doing stuff for the elves and everything, but listen to _this..._ ” and then I told the companions about my new powers from my spirit being divided and all that, but I don’t think they really cared.

“You _have_ to write a story about that now, Varric,” I told the dwarf, sitting in the main hall with him.

He scratched his head, creasing his brow in hesitation. “I don’t know, Sleepy... it doesn’t sound very realistic... or even exciting...”

“But it actually did happen!” I argued.

Varric shook his head, shrugging a little. “People would more likely believe the Inquisitor’s story over _that_.”

I sighed. Even though Corypheus was defeated, the Inquisition was still fairly busy, and hardly any of the Inner Circle had time for me. They all seemed focused with new endeavors or pre-Breach problems that they had been putting off for far too long. And although they generally seemed glad I was doing well, I was more of a hindrance than anything else.

“Look at this, Dorian, look!” I had said, snapping my fingers with a little flame appearing.

“Incredible,” he complimented sarcastically, peeling his eyes away from a letter to roll them at me. “You’ve accomplished what I had done by the age of five.”

“Vivienne!” I greeted as I found her sitting on her sofa. “Teach me how to cast a Knight-Enchanter sword! I want to swing a big magic blade!”

“Madame de Fer,” she corrected in aggravation. “And why are you here?” she asked, ignoring my request. “I thought you were supposed to be with Solas, travelling _far_ away.”

“I’m just visiting, geez,” I huffed, turning immediately to leave.

It was like the Inquisition was moving at an even faster pace than when the Breach was still around. Times were changing, and the saviors of the world were in hot demand. They were now the biggest celebrities in Thedas, and politics, alliances, old acquaintances, and even the occasional fan mail kept them consistently unavailable.

But there was one who went relatively untouched by the new fame, and he was far more _compassionate_ towards me than the others. “You’re much brighter now,” Cole observed when he first saw me. “Bold and blinding, like a...”

“Bird? Beauty? Boss?” I guessed excitedly.

“Fire. Like fire,” he finished, blinking absently. “He’s happy now. He never thought he could be happy. He thought he’d die alone.”

I smiled, thinking of Solas. “I’m happy, too! I get to live forever with my best friend,” I replied.

“You never thought you’d be happy, either,” Cole said quietly.

Huh. Never thought about that.

And even though she was by far the busiest of them all, the Inquisitor did meet with me as soon as she was able. “What is the pantheon like?” was the first question out of her mouth (no _hello_ or _how are you_ , mind you). “Are they very powerful? Can you ask them to come to Skyhold? We finally finished some of the last repairs, so I think it should be presentable for them to see,” she babbled enthusiastically.

“They’re...  _nice_ , Inquisitor,” I answered hesitantly. “But I don’t know when they can come here. They’re pretty busy.” I instantly thought of the gods sitting lazily around that house in Antiva, just waiting around for Dalish Keepers to come meet them. Yeah, they definitely had time to visit Skyhold, but _I_ certainly wasn’t going to answer that for them.

Lavellan sighed. “I hope I get to meet them someday.”

I smiled. “You will.”

That evening, I ended up in the tavern, and it was there that all the companions gathered together again. We laughed and exchanged tales, played some Wicked Grace, and they even got me to sing for them. It was almost like old times, minus my busy hobo, and I felt so happy to be in Skyhold again. This place would always be my home, where I found love and family, and where my life truly began.

 

*****

 

“What are you doing, _vhenan_?” Solas asked, approaching me from behind.

“Painting, Solas,” I told him. “Pretty good, huh?”

“It... exceeds my expectations.”

I laughed. “Well, that’s better than nothing.”

“But why are you painting, Anna?” he asked as he enfolded me into his arms. “And why here?”

“Well, _someone_ had to finish the last mural... and I’m only practicing, just like you do.”

“Ah,” he said. “A wise decision, _vhenan_.”

“See, that’s you,” I explained, pointing to the fresco, “and that’s the rest of the pantheon right there... that’s Skyhold with the Inquisition banner...” I waited, looking at him expectantly. “So what do you think?”

He pursed his lips, trying to suppress a laugh. “Your painting is certainly improving,” he said, very diplomatically.

“ _And..._?” I smiled, raising both my eyebrows.

“And you are very proficient in manipulating the Fade,” he grinned as he glanced around the dream.

“ _And_?”

Solas chuckled. “And I love you,” he whispered softly.

I laughed, setting down my paintbrush and turning to kiss him. “Everything’s going so well,” I murmured. “It’s like I’m living in a happily ever after epilogue or something.”

“Happily ever after?”

“It’s the end of a story, Solas, when everything comes together perfectly,” I explained.

“I see,” he remarked. “But there is much still left to accomplish, _vhenan..._  When will you return to Antiva? The ship departs in two days.”

“Tomorrow, I promise, I just wanted to finish the mural.” I gave him a little squeeze. “Everyone here misses you, even if they don’t say it.”

He smiled. “I will visit as soon as I am able,” he promised.

I smiled, wrapping my arms around his neck. “You know, Varric says he can’t publish a story about my life. Apparently, it’s too ‘unbelievable’.”

Solas laughed. “Unbelievable, _vhenan_?”

“Well, yeah... I mean, it’s too fantastical. What with coming from another realm, and my spirit... Plus I’m immortal, so that’s extra weird.”

Solas hummed. “Do you regret becoming immortal?” he asked quietly.

“No, why would you ask that?” I laughed. “If I wasn’t immortal, I couldn’t live forever with you,” I said, poking him playfully in the chest.

“But do you miss your world?” he asked worriedly. “You so often dream of your parents...”

“Ah, well, I miss them a little, but what’s there to do? I can’t go back there,” I said, leaning my head against him. “But I feel so happy here, I don’t want to go back. This is where I belong.”

“With me?” he murmured.

“With you,” I smiled.

“For eternity?”

I sighed happily. “Forever and ever.”

“Are you certain you won’t tire of me?”

“Yes,” I answered with a smile, pressing my lips to his. “I don’t regret it, and I’ll never regret it. You can ask me in a thousand years, and I’ll _still_ say the same thing.”

He grinned. “Shall I test that theory?”

 

_One thousand years later..._

 

Nope. Still didn’t regret it.

 

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was extremely hard to write, so apologies if it seems out of the blue, but yes, it's finished!!! It's been a wild ride, and I definitely would not have gotten this far if it wasn't for all the love and support I've received from the kudos, comments, subscribers, bookmarks, and just anyone who spent time enjoying this!
> 
> And I also want to thank the wonderful [FenrisTheFabulous](http://archiveofourown.org/users/FenrisTheFabulous/) who helped me so much with beta-reading and story-discussing, and for being the amazing person that I don't deserve.
> 
> I just feel so blessed by the appreciation I've received, so thank you, thank you, thank you, and you all have ma serannas for eternity!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [The Spirit Girl — Banal nadas.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3807829) by [Miss_Snazzy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_Snazzy/pseuds/Miss_Snazzy)
  * [Faded Reality](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4616346) by [Author_Of_Sin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Author_Of_Sin/pseuds/Author_Of_Sin)




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